Our Sponsor Sideshow Collectibles Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien
Do you enjoy the 100% volunteer, not for profit services of TheOneRing.net?
Consider a donation!

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main:
The nine habits of the highly successful Nazgul

News from Bree

Jun 7 2014, 12:09am

Post #1 of 3 (204 views)
The nine habits of the highly successful Nazgul Can't Post

Why do some Nazgul thrive when commanded to hunt their master's stolen Ring while others falter under pressure?

Why do some revel in the responsibility of throwing down their enemy when others wither like fog in strong sunlight?

You might not know it, but nine (count them!) keenly honed success habits keep them hot on the trail.

Nazgul apprentices, here are those nine instinctive habits that the most successful Ringwraiths employ to keep the Dark Lord number one.

Read and learn.


Let your powers combine.
Captain Planet does it. Voltron does it. The Power Rangers too. So take heed: when it matters, ensure you gather under your fell leader so that even the Wise might fear to face you.


Wear black. Lots and lots of black.
Black's slimming. It never goes out of style. And the effect is scary as the Dickens when when you loom menacingly into view of your prey just as the light fades. Muahahahahaha!


Embrace your hydrophobia!

Never forget that you and water do not get along. At all. In that sense, you might as well be the Wicked Witch-king of the West. Next time you consider fording that tiny creek? Think twice.


Stab it with a Morgul Blade.
They say if you love it, put a ring on it. But only the Dark Lord may do that. Use a Morgul Blade to express your affection instead. It's the smart way to ensure your new BFF will stay by your side always and forever!


Take spare robes and remounts.
For a Ringwraith, few things are more humiliating than having to crawl back naked and unclothed to your Dark Lord because your impromptu dip went pear-shaped. So for the love of Morgoth, pack extra robes (black, of course) and take a spare horse or an enormous flying raptor thing just in case!


Let your minions do the dying for you.
Need to destroy the gates of the enemy fortress? Compel your horde of minions to do it for you! Drive them before you like cattle until they fear you more than the enemy's darts and arrows. Don't forget to ride to your glorious victory over the crushed, mutilated corpses of friend and foe for additional intimidation.


Remember, fear is your chief weapon.

And surprise. And an almost fanatical devotion to The Po... err ... Sauron. Anyway, the key point is intimidate your opponents (or your minions) until they give you want you want, or flee in terror.


Always stop to smell the roses.

Your sense of smell is even better than a labrador's or a beagle's. Only the fooolish Nazgul rush heedlessly ahead. Savour the scents and let your nose guide you to that which your Dark Lord desires.


Never tell them your name.

You are one of the Nazgul, the chief and most-feared servants of the Dark Lord, not a friendly camp counsellor. Be the Nameless Fear. Names are for lesser minions -- and, seemingly, Khamul, because he just has to be different from everyone else. Of course. Such an ego.

Co-credit to Lurking Laurie for helping develop this most amusing concept. Photo and image credits: John Howe and New Line Cinema.

(This post was edited by entmaiden on Jun 7 2014, 6:44pm)

Forum Admin / Moderator

Jun 7 2014, 3:44pm

Post #2 of 3 (131 views)
Haha true about Khamul [In reply to] Can't Post

He has to be the exception that proves the rule :)

The Hobbit Soundtracks - Being an online archive of information concerning Howard Shore's score for The Hobbit films.

Superuser / Moderator

Jun 7 2014, 10:56pm

Post #3 of 3 (132 views)
There is no teaching of evil leaders, [In reply to] Can't Post

in this land or the next, that can't be improved by a useful nugget from Monty Python.


Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.

Ataahua's stories


Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.