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entmaiden
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Mar 5 2007, 7:14pm
Post #1 of 9
(305 views)
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Star Wars Conspiracy
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A friend sent this:
http://www.websurdity.com/...ttack-an-inside-job/
It makes a lot of sense. Kind of opens your eyes to what really happened behind the scenes.
Each cloak was fastened about the neck with a brooch like a green leaf veined with silver.
`Are these magic cloaks?' asked Pippin, looking at them with wonder.
`I do not know what you mean by that,' answered the leader of the Elves.
NARF since 1974.
Balin Bows
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SandWitch King
Rohan
Mar 5 2007, 8:37pm
Post #3 of 9
(192 views)
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Wow, that really made me think . . . /{nt}
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Once upon a time I was MrCere. I still am but this name is for posting and being part of the community while that one is for official business. 8-)
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greendragon
Sr. Staff
Mar 6 2007, 12:44am
Post #4 of 9
(190 views)
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I love it - especially the bit about the Emperor reading to kids at the time of the attack! ROFL here! 
But I have to confess I'm a little concerned about the folks who responded and didn't seem to get that it's a joke... Just makes me shake my head and wonder... 
'There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of my fridge...'
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Lossefalme
Gondor
Mar 6 2007, 4:30am
Post #5 of 9
(176 views)
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OMG. Some people have too much time on their hands! /
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(Formerly Lossefalme3, just in case you're wondering)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Aragorn threw back his cloak. The elven-sheath glittered as he grasped it, and the bright blade of Andúril shone like a sudden flame as he swept it out. 'Elendil!' he cried. 'I am Aragorn son of Arathorn, and am called Elessar, the Elfstone, Dúnadan, the heir of Isildur Elendil's son of Gondor. Here is the Sword that was Broken and is forged again! Will you aid me or thwart me? Choose swiftly!' TTT, Book III, Chapter 2
And Éomer answered: 'Since the day when you rose before me out of the green grass of the downs I have loved you, and that love shall not fail.' RotK, Book VI, Chapter 5
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Aerin
Grey Havens
Mar 6 2007, 5:20am
Post #6 of 9
(189 views)
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"Darth Vader is a good man, I have looked into his soul.
He would never turn on the empire."
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RosieLass
Valinor
Mar 6 2007, 5:41am
Post #7 of 9
(190 views)
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There was no inside job.
Mr. Vader simply neglected to study the top 100 things to do to become an evil overlord.
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
(Sorry...tried to create a linkie, and it just ignored me.)
Children’s Interpretations of the Bible
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
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linkin-artelf
Lorien
Mar 6 2007, 8:11am
Post #8 of 9
(194 views)
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and many of the responses are even more clever and hilarious to read.
So how did that torpedo bend anyway?
"I walk along the shore and I gaze
At the light that radiates down
Will it travel forth to you
Far across this shimmering sea?"
formerly linkinparkelf
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Menelwyn
Rohan
Mar 7 2007, 9:59pm
Post #9 of 9
(210 views)
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I sent the link to my dad, who wrote the following. (Yes, he's been watching far too much Rome on HBO lately!)
Friends, Ewoks, Imperial citizens, countrymen, lend me your ears (not yours, Jar Jar -- please); I come to bury the emperor, not to praise him; The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interréd with their bones,
So let it be with the emperor…. The noble Skywalker
Hath told you the emperor was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault (as was building the so-called "Death Star" which like the Titanic, was advertised to be unsinkable),
And grievously hath the emperor answered it….
Here, under leave of Skywalker and the rest (you know, the princess, Kenobi, that little green guy who has more moves than a ninja warrior in a Spike Lee film),
(For Skywalker is an honourable man;
So are they all; all honourable men -- and women)
Come I to speak in the emperor's funeral….
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Skywalker says he was ambitious;
And Skywalker is an honourable man….
He hath brought many captives home to the Empire's capital city,
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in the emperor seem ambitious?
When that the poor (consider those wretches at Mos Esley's cantina) have cried in their beer or other adult beverages), the emperor hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Skywalker says he was ambitious;
And Skywalker is an honourable man.
You all did see that in the Senate
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Skywalker says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Skywalker spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?
O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason…. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with the emperor,
And I must pause till it come back to me. Pregnant Pause OK, judgement hath returned my senses. Clarity hath struck more forcefully than ten thousand light sabers. Imperial citizens, the Rebel Alliance calls for Democracy; The Alliance demands the rule of an enlightened electorate. I ask then, what role have we for an autocratic princess? Who elected her to govern our daily lives? The Force is with me now, having given me insight far beyond that possessed by the usurpers, the so-called Jedi Council. We seek to know whom shall we hold responsible for the outrage performed against the emperor and the innocents on the Death Star. We have followed the money. We know the tale. Greed hath undone the heroism of the emperor. Nay, 'tis not the greed of the conspirator Solo and his hirsute companion. Nay, the truth goes much deeper. Have ye not noticed the uncanny resemblance of Ben Kenobi to the Dapper Don? How can one overlook the repeated violations of the laws of physics, Those laws that not even the Force itself violate? Fellow imperial citizens, should you want truth about pictures allegedly taken from the cold vacuum of outer space, Ye need look no farther than to consider the laws of physics. Can we truthfully HEAR the sound of laser fire in space? Can we hear the explosions of ships and Death Stars in space? Nay, 'tis impossible, as sound waves do not travel in vacuums. Can we believe the trajectory of missiles that alter their flight path in the vacuum of space without the introduction of other forces upon them? Nay, 'tis impossible and the dictates of the Force cannot defy these basic laws. If ever there was cause for believing in a Magic Missile, the circumstances surrounding the Death-Star-busting Magic Missile are not among them. Only one place in the entire galaxy can be capable of perpetrating such frauds on the unwitting citizens of the Empire. 'Tis Hollywood and the real leaders of the Rebel Alliance -- Shall I name them here? 'Twould be an offense to reason not to do so. Verily, I tell you know the names of those whose greed assails your purses. They are Lucas and his co-conspirator Michael Moore (or less). Only they have the riches to perpetuate the greatest fraud on the public since the first moon landings of the planet Earth. Only they have the means (and the connections with J Edgar Hoover and Jimmy Hoffa) to ensnare your imperial pennies. My fellow citizens! Join me in striking a blow against the Hollywood conspirators. Let us bring them to their just end. Friends, I rise to nominate for election as emperor the one who can restore justice and return to the throne the only one who can restore peace, order, and economic prosperity to us all. I nominate him, the one who returned Lord Aragorn to his proper place. The one who let the little people strike down the forces of evil. The one who destroyed the Evil Eye and his evil wizard companion. The one who showed that a handful of friends joined in just Fellowship can undo ages of tyranny and stand up to unjust conspiracies. Bring down the Lucas/Moore conspirators and their Rebel Alliance. Send them beyond the River Styx never to return again. Bring back the rule of reason and light. I proudly place in nomination the name of Peter Jackson.
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