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Tolkienia Times: April, "The Spring in Ithilien" Edition. Front Page
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Apr 12 2014, 2:02am

Post #1 of 41 (553 views)
Tolkienia Times: April, "The Spring in Ithilien" Edition. Front Page Can't Post


Hail and well met, visitors to and citizens of Tolkienia!

Tolkienia "Springs" To Life

This issue is going to celebrate the coming of Spring in the Northern Continents… FINALLY! It's been a long, hard winter for most, so the warm weather and re-birth of all growing things has been heartily anticipated. This, of course, brings to mind the Spring events of Middle-earth and of fair Ithilien. So in honour of that do we dedicate this Spring issue of Tolkienia.

Here's what you'll find in this Spring Issue:

News From Tolkienia! by The Wandering-but-not-lost Reporter – Front Page
Tolkienia Weather Summary by DanielLB – Page 2
Classifieds by DanielLB, Bracegirdle, grammaboodawg – Page 2
Personals by Bracegirdle, grammaboodawg – Who says it's nothing personal? All of this is! – Page 2
Founder's Day/15th TORniversary by grammaboodawg – Page 3
Exclusive Interview with silneldor by grammaboodawg – Page 3
"The Linguistic Arts" — A Collection of Poetry, Limericks, Prose and more with offerings by RangerLady23, Thursday_Next, and our Mayor, Ethel Duath – Page 4
...The Lay of the Bears of Beleriand by Mayor Ethel
...Rebirth of the Moon Land by RangerLady23
...Treebeard, Merry and Pippin – A First Take by Thursday_Next
Recipes Inspired By Ithilien by SimplyAven – the perfect chance to use your little box of salt - Page 5
...Young potatoes with herbs
...Zucchini with yogurt sauce
Real Estate by DanielLB – Page 5
Nerdsnorts by grammaboodawg – Page5
Games by Mayor Ethel, Rembrethil – Page 5
...Crossing Words with "Spring, Flowers and Sunshine" by Rembrethil – Take some time out and enjoy this Crossword Puzzle made exclusively for Tolkienia – Page 5
..."Spring in Ithilien" game by Mayor Ethel – Name that character, plant, animal, object or location from "Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit" – Page 5
Adverts by Mayor Ethel, DanielLB and grammaboodawg - Seeking some assistance or looking to sell and buy? Check out some adverts in your area. – Page… Scattered everywhere!


Section 1: NEWS FROM TOLKIENIA! – by our intrepid The Wandering-but-not-lost Reporter


Earlier this week, Tolkienia took another step towards establishing a global presence and good international relations by receiving a delegation from Kipland--a small, newly formed nation east of our borders. It is widely known as the second literature-based country in the western hemisphere and is dedicated to the works of Rudyard Kipling. Taking their cue from the formation of Tolkienia, the residents cite our own successes as inspiration for their actions. It would seem that the exceptional quality of life established in Tolkienia has set a high bar for future literary countries.

The delegation, dispatched by President Mowgli, was headed by many prominent names. Leading the expedition was the redoubtable Colonel Hathi, tasked with the safe delivery of the diplomats. Entering the capital in grand eastern style, they were announced by the trumpeting of the elephant cavalry band and the words of the strong marching song of the company.

Ambassador Baloo, chief of provisionment and recreations, and the first delegate, was in close conference with our very own Beorn for most of his stay. One of the hot topics discussed was minimum wage and living standards, cleverly referred to as 'the bear(bare) necessities of life'. Beorn, reportedly enjoyed this play on words and the good tales from a professional raconteur, and it is surmised that there will be much beneficial trade and valuable imports from one entertainment industry to the other, in both the short and long term.

Ambassador Bagheera too, was there as master of ceremony and chief delegate. Suave and urbane, he handled most of the formal negotiations with his Tabaqui-like cunning. A real Kipland hero, he commanded the respect of all who met him. His story is a most interesting one: Escaped from captivity, he had long wandered the jungle alone, but after forming a deeply loyal relationship with the current president, he has come out of a solitary existence to support his friends' political endeavours.

The whole event was a grand success: however there is never any project without its detractors. Vague reports of a mobility impaired tiger lurking in the depths of the forest and uncomfortably close to local residences were received, but after Treebeard had been dispatched to investigate, all rumours ceased. Local authorities remain vigilant.

The Seonee security detail, Hathi's elite security force, were several times hindered by the local bounds-keepers, being mistaken for Wargs by some children. The issuance of special identification vests put an end to the confusion, and allowed the pack to fulfill their mandate to 'Look Well'. And it was a good thing too! Apparently there exists in the Kipland Jungle, a rather brazen band of pranksters who plague the country. The Bandar-log (Monkey-people), as they call themselves, have a natural propensity towards tom-foolery and shenanigans, and several of their members decided to carry out some small mischief among us.

Accosting one Lobelia Baggins, one of the senior Hobbit residents, they became enamoured by the complexity of her Sunday umbrella and decided to relieve her of it in order to unravel its mysteries. Forced to surrender her best parasol to the brutes, this local character then did something quite drastic. Alerting the local shirrif, she proceeded to return home and procure her largest umbrella--a black, iron-framed relic of great historical, and physical weight. Holding it high above her head, she tracked down the hooligans, and one witness claims that she began to brandish it in a threatening manner, frightening a good number of the Bandar-log. The dramatic scene was interrupted by the intervention of a Seonee squad trained to deal with such disturbances. Details are sketchy, as the incident has been ruled to be within Kipland jurisdiction, and we are still unsure who exactly was saved from whom.

Later, reports of another kind of disruption began to flow in. A native inhabitant of Kipland, one Mr. Ssssmith, a person of great personal size, arrived soon after the foreign diplomatic party. Charming, (some say 'mesmerising') he soon attracted quite an audience in the local pubs with his grace on the dance floor. The tales he wove of his home were quite different in tone from the glowing reports of the other Kiplanders. A small protest materialised some few days later, staged at Town Hall, but after being rounded up by the shirrifs, few of the protesters could remember exactly why they were there. Undoubtedly there is more to this story and of this strange character than meets the eye. Upon further investigation, it came to light that Mr. Ssssmith's real identity was that of a former political aid to the Mowgli Party, but after some unpleasant disagreements and a treacherous political betrayal, he was ousted from power.

Finally, at the end of a week-long conference, a treaty of fair trade and fellowship was signed by all the major parties. The delegates returned home, promising a long friendship and conveying the president's deepest thanks. Is this a new age for Tolkienia? Will we be seeing elephants and other exotic types populating our streets? Does this cooperative establish motivation for the founding of similar literary sovereignties? Time can only tell.

-The Wandering-but-not-lost Reporter

6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - November 28, 2013
3rd draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - January 2, 2014


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Apr 12 2014, 2:11am

Post #2 of 41 (311 views)
Page 2 - Tolkienia Times "Spring in Ithilien" Edition – Weather, Classified, Personals [In reply to] Can't Post

 Welcome to the second section of our "Spring in Ithilien" Edition of the Tolkienia Times.
In this Section, we have for you a completely reliable outlook (multi-meaning) on the weather in our area, and important notices in the Classified and Personal Sections:

Tolkienia Weather Summary
by DanielLB

"The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it" - declared Mayor Ethel after the craziest winter on record. Snow, floods, thunderstorms, tornadoes, weird clouds, fog and a heatwave all within 5 weeks! And as such the Tolkienia Weather Service has adopted a new slogan:

"Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather" (with the added subtitle: "bad weather always looks better through a window".)

Such intense weather over this winter has caused many problems, but we are delighted to say that the 10 cats that went missing during the fog have been reunited with Ms. Berúthiel. Unfortunately, she couldn't ever remember owning a white one. Sadly, Ms.Berúthiel has decided to leave Tolkienia on the grounds of experiencing such bizarre weather. Her house is up for sale in 'The Homing Gnome' realty section.

So what can we expect from this month? The weather will remain changeable for the first half of the month, but thereafter it will be generally dry, at least in the south, and rather warm with plentiful sunshine. A late-April hot spell induced by a high pressure will bring summer temperatures topping 30°C across Tolkienia. Such warm temperatures may push the new train line's air conditioning system to the limit. If you are a hot sweaty Dwarf, you are advised to find alternative travel arrangements for the comfort of everyone else. Ice shipped down from our sister town, Forochel, means our rivers will remain cool for fledgling Nazgul. Cirdan's ship building has been warned amid chances of iceberg collisions, but rest assured, there will be enough life boats for everyone if such an event occurs. Sun shields are being sold by a Mrs. Sackville-Baggins, but make sure to take lots of silver spoons in payment. Mrs. Sackville-Baggins had this to say: "weather is a great metaphor for life — sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and there's nothing much you can do about it but carry an umbrella." There should be little rain this April, which may cause a water shortage. All Hobbit gardens are allowed to be watered during this dry spell. Any Dwarvish residents of Tolkienia have also been asked not to wash in any fountains (Mayor Ethel apologies for any inconvenience caused). And the weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

We remind all residents of the weather channel on cable TV - watchable 24 hours of the day.

Eagle-eyed readers may have spotted our April Fool's forecast earlier in the month. If you missed it, here it is again:

"Today we'll enjoy some funny periods with scattered flowers. Possibility of isolated frog patches in the early morning hours. Some areas of Tolkienia may be affected by raining cats and wargs. But hailing taxis could be a lot worse!"

A new batch of weathermen have been employed by the Tolkienia Weather Service. Drinks at our favourite pub: "The Iso Bar" (5 mins walk from The Eagle and Child train station) will be at 8pm. All welcome.



Dermatologist needed for private consultation. Patient is a visiting foreign national and a skin changer with sudden, severe difficulties with periodic shedding. Contact Kaa at #Ifeellikeastuffedsausage

Proper walking sticks made to order. Comes in Oak, Pine, Willow, or Maple in the size and length of your choosing. Personalized etching available. Contact Carver Woodside of Chetwood.


Displaced Uruk seeking employment. Experienced in cross-country transport, personal protection, lumberjacking, and wall (de)construction. Multi-lingual, Housebroken. May be reached at the Moria Mines, east entrance.

Obsession! Is there a cure? Some get tattoos, some gather collectibles, but gramma is dealing with shingles. Just when you wondered if it could get worse, the answer is clear. YES! If you find yourself lost in an obsession, call Professor Hopeless at 1-800-555-7848 (quit).

Contact Messrs. Grubb, Grubb, and Burrowes.
Hole #14, Bywater Pool Road

6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - November 28, 2013
3rd draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - January 2, 2014


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)

Grey Havens

Apr 12 2014, 2:16am

Post #3 of 41 (289 views)
Bwa ha ha Classifieds! [In reply to] Can't Post

Oh, I've come to love the classifieds and personals! LOL

BTW, I hoped Sam would really give some gardening advice as my own Ithilien is not doing well at all. I guess it shows that I prefer the spoiled existence in Rivendell, shame! Semms I'll have to go buy some seeds though, master Samwise being so thrifty. Tongue

Loved the weather forecast! Bring the 30s degrees, my bones need to warm up! Cool

Middle earth recipes archive

I believe

(This post was edited by simplyaven on Apr 12 2014, 2:21am)


Apr 12 2014, 2:24am

Post #4 of 41 (291 views)
Page 3 - Tolkienia Times "Spring in Ithilien" Edition – Founders Day, A Conversation with silneldor [In reply to] Can't Post

Welcome to the third section of our "Spring in Ithilien" Edition of the Tolkienia Times.
In this Section, we will take a look at Founder's Day and enjoy an exclusive interview with TORn's own Woodland King, silneldor.

Glory and Trumpets! Let's gather 'round the Party Tree!
by grammaboodawg

There's a very special time coming for TheOneRing.net. On April 26, TORn will celebrate its 15th TORniversary! It was back in April 11, 1999 that TheOneRing.net published its first online news article. It was also the first step in a dramatic change between filmmakers and fans. Thanks to our very curious and relentless Founders who hunted down and reported on the secret filming of The Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson and TORn forged a collaboration that blossomed into the open and interactive relationship we share today.

On April 26, 1999, TORn officially registered and began exclusive reporting on Peter Jackson's films and all things Tolkien. From that grew our multiple Discussion Boards and a thriving community!

On April 26, 2009, as TORn enjoyed its 10th year, long-time poster weaver created TORn's very own holiday... Founder's Day! It is the one time each year all of us who inhabit TheOneRing.net to celebrate our home and, most of all, our Founders:

Corvar, Xoanon, Tehanu and Calisuri... and each of them is still very much a part of TORn's everyday life. In 2010, Magpie launched the most excellent Mathom-house containing too many links and treasures to describe, and now we have our very own monthly publication!

So watch for a most wonderful Party under the Tree on April 26th as we share this most wonderful time!


"We though from the racket it was orcs up to no good!" A visit with TORn's own silneldor
by grammaboodawg

What celebrates Spring more than the birds and beasts that spent the long, hard winter hiding from the cold finding their way back to our own little Ithilien? In the northeastern United States, among the sure signs of Spring are the return of robins, hummingbirds, skunks (yes...happy to smell skunks) and bears waking from hibernation. Does Beorn hibernate?

In honor of Beorn and bears all over the world, we're going to visit with TORn's very own mountain man, silneldor. For many years, we have enjoyed sil's stories of his encounters with the bears that live near and visit his Ithilien-esque homestead. silneldor's respect for nature and all its residents resonates with everything he does, so it's not a surprise to witness how he reacts to his unexpected encounters with his furry neighbors. Here's a link to his first tale, and then another, and another. I think Professor Tolkien would truly embrace sil's appreciation of nature and the wild things that live there.

So we've asked silneldor if he'd mind answering a few questions that arose from his stories of Mama Bear and her 2 Cubs.

gramma: Hi silneldor! Thank you so much for visiting with us at this time of the year when Nature is waking from her long winter sleep. We can "bearly" contain ourselves!!! You've had some mighty close calls with your resident bears. Do you ever feel threatened by the presence of these bears, or do you believe you're all part of a natural community? All members of your own personal zoo?

silneldor: Firstly, I must extend my greetings to our esteemed mayor of Tolkienia, Ethel Duath and our esteemed keeper gramma of the Tolkien TIME/Zen daily threads who is lovingly devoting her time to assist as editor of the spring issue of the Tolkienia Times. I feel quite honored to be associated with them both, beautiful spirits that they are.

No, I do not fear these black bears. I have a healthy respect for them though. I feel I understand them. They are hungry, have cubs to feed, and are having their territory continually recede from man's destructive encroachment. We must coax them as we can to remain independent of us and remain wild. I think we are on mutual terms here in regards to zoo-ness. Yes, they are part of mine, but I am part of theirs. Perhaps zoo-ness could be termed just the landscape of life where we all are striving to live in our own ways yet exist together.

gramma: Your warning system is quite unique. It seems to be comprised of Lovie the cat, who has proven to be a worthy lookout yet a bit subdued in her signaling. And then there's the scat (watch your step) deposited throughout the yard! Given how stealthy and silent your neighbors have proven to be, have you ever considered a plan to rig an alarm system, or do you prefer the "Peek a Boo-boo" approach?

silneldor: Yes, bears are deliberately slow careful walkers. They are very quiet, maybe the quietest even with their size. I appreciate these animals because they help me maintain my focus to have more of a heightened awareness using all the senses, particularly my sight.

I remember an important lesson many years ago from Tom Brown's books ('The Tracker' being one of them) that there is a difference between looking and seeing, and between hearing and listening. I know at times I can cue off bird alarm or complaint. That is why I appreciate the chickadees being around. But we can also depend usually on our three cats because they know the smell of bear now. And their hearing and sight are more acute than humans. We know their temperaments and we can pretty much tell if something is up by their reactions.

One time in particular though, my son and I were working on something, on the cement patio side and Lovey, our black coffee colored cat came hell bent for election down the front of the deck (knocking into something), around the corner, down the stairs, past us and disappeared. We looked at each other wide-eyed. I walked over and peeped around the corner and there was a bear down at the far end of the deck eating out of the cat's dish. The bear had walked down (even too quietly for her being pre-occupied) the ramp from the back, and surprized the tar out of Lovie, probably not aggressively but just suddenly THERE and sniffing. I wish I could have seen that. I voiced the bear back up the ramp on that side slapping a handy long foam noodle on the desk (makes a resounding slap).

gramma: Through the years, you've armed yourself with a mug of coffee, a chartreuse-colored flyswatter, challenging oratory, a camera, and a giant noodle. What do you think is your most effective weapon of choice?

silneldor: Yes, ha! I have a regular arsenal at my disposal. One other weapon of note is pots and pans. No, it's not the Sam-wise method perfected in that chamber in Moria, but to incur a racket of clanging and banging. Bears much prefer peace and quiet (I concur) so an onslaught of sound will likely cease and desist missions of naughtiness they might have in mind.

Just one time, this was evident where leaving the doors open (common occurrence there) and at work in the kitchen and alone in the camp, I thought I heard an unusual sound, and not a cat sound per se although I cannot remember exactly what it was, so I peered into the living room/porch area and there was a mid-sized bear just standing inside the french doors within the porch. I did a quick about-face and grabbed two pots (ones with out of round bottoms today) and commenced a din. Vocals with authority are also effective so I said something to the effect, 'No visitors today thank you! Off you go now!' And something else I cannot remember, something about tasty grubs I think. It (F or M) realized the error of its ways and left. That was the closest call in 20 years.

There was the time I was sunning on the dock probably on a break between work or workouts. It was a calm day. I suddenly heard an out of place snap. I listened a moment longer and decided to investigate. Getting up out of the chair I had a fly swatter in my hand and I walked back to the garden area by our back door. There was a fair sized bear right there 15 yards distant, on our flat patch of grass between the flower beds (later I found a chickadee bird house broken on the ground). We just looked at each other for a couple of moments and I decided I would initiate the conversation. Having M*A*S*H* episodes always dancing around in my head, I exclaimed holding the flyswatter up, 'Lookout, this thing may go off!' It was a Trapper John exclamation, also holding up a flyswatter up once concerning some forgotten difficulty there in the swamp. I said more in a stern fashion being in an eye to eye face off, and finally he decided to slowly, methodically turn and go, looking back a few times to see what I was doing which was just standing there by the back door with my dangerous man weapon. When he was up a bit I ran inside for the camera and got a blurry shot of him amongst the trees, about 20 yards distant, from the top ramp by the outhouse.

The weapons of choice I think are; showing no fear,' looming large' (but at a respectful distance knowing they will 'clap' their jaws when feeling overly threatened) and use of any available noise maker which includes a big mouth.

gramma: These 3 bears have really enjoyed your garden, deck, and garbage cans. Do you think your homestead is a regular part of their routine or just a place to go when they're bored... like how we go to the mall?

silneldor: There was the garbage can capers during dawn at first light, quite occasionally, when all is quiet with no human activity about. One time we woke to the sound of lids and cans on cement and I ventured out from bed to see what we had. I went up the ramp from the deck to the point I could see both ways to the back of the little camp, and the camp. Lo and behold there at the far end of the camp were two youngsters frolicking about dragging bags around. I immediately realized that it was imperative I locate the mother immediately to avoid being between them. She was up on the hill thankfully, looking down with either supervision or frustration with the situation. So it was for me to retreat, cease and desist this time myself. But I was able to get a shot or two on the other side before I went inside. I knew a trail of odds and ends would appear up the hill, but it would not be that bad for cleanup.

These bears are a rare occurrence really. There have been years without a sighting. Perhaps once in a 3-5 year range is the average. They do have excellent noses. So between where they are, how smelly the garage is, and the direction of the wind is the key to having visitors I am thinking. Sometimes there is evidence of scat when not there. But it is a rare occurrence again. It is a ‘courteous' reminder that they came calling.

gramma: Have your encounters with these powerful, potentially dangerous and yet fascinating animals influenced the character of Beorn in The Hobbit for you? Or, possibly, has Beorn influenced your relationship with these bears?

silneldor: Bears, as least by us, are not nocturnal, but daylight foragers and are not overtly aggressive. Both the book and the movies I feel are not in line with the true nature of the black bear, but more like the grizzly. I would just say that through the book-Beorn, there could be a lesson in regards to respectfulness and courtesy. Black bears are rather timid but they do demand a respectfulness from humans, and a code of courtesy is to be applied when among them too. But they also respect the lack of fear.

gramma: It must be so gratifying to be a part of the quiet, peaceful, unpretentious honesty of living so close to nature. You've created a beautiful haven for your family. What is your favorite time of the year or day when you feel the most connected to it all?

silneldor: It is gratifying and nurturing for us to live with a sense of peace away from the frantic, noisy, pushy part of the “civilized” world. It sounds like a bit of an oxymoron I think. It is a good environment to teach my son self-reliance, to have respect for all living things and to feel inclusive or at home in regards to the natural world. There is much in nature that grounds a person, giving him a feeling of reverence and satisfaction of being just a humble part of something worthy of wonder and awe.

Summer dawns are a special time I think. It is the new light of day with liquid colors, and the growing symphony of bird song and the quickening breezes that stir the leaves. The close growing waves throw waves of rippling light throughout the camp, and the far water's path to the sun are a profusion of effervescent swirls, exhibiting the explosion of twinkling sparkles if you will. Yes, dawn it is:).

gramma: How are your massive co-habitants doing lately? Have you seen any of them (or signs of them scatting about) yet this Spring?

silneldor: This had been a close all time record winter for cold and snow. There is 30 inches of ice on the pond. Never seen it anywhere near that deep before. I have been out there but once doing the mile trek across the ice to check on the water pump that keeps the ice from forming around the dock. There are but signs of the little creatures; the wayward bird and the ever adventurous squirrel. All else must have been, deep asleep.

gramma: Thank you so much for spend time with us, sil… and for showing us how great it is to share our lives with ALL creatures around us!

6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - November 28, 2013
3rd draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - January 2, 2014


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Apr 12 2014, 2:27am

Post #5 of 41 (289 views)
Page 4 - Tolkienia Times "Spring in Ithilien" Edition – Poetry, Limericks, Prose [In reply to] Can't Post

Welcome to the fourth section of our "Spring in Ithilien" Edition of the Tolkienia Times.
In this Section, we will take a look at some of the inspiring talent of TORn's Family.

Poetry, Limericks, Prose and more – Tolkienia Linguistic Arts

The Lay of the Bears of Beleriand

(not to be confused with those Berenstain folks . . .)

by Ethel Duath

A land there is of road and stream,
And forests fair, the living dream
Of Tolkien-folk from far and wide,
A place where they can live beside
The horses, Ents, and oliphants,
And wander through the shadowed haunts
Of bears that shuffle, sniff, and speak,
And stand and welcome strong and weak
To learn adventure on their trails
And follow through the streams and dales,
Until the Carrock beckons tall
And welcomes them to Beornings' Hall.

Among the ponies, hounds, and bees,
Tolkienians can dine with trees,
And whisper to the tall Huorns,
Politely, if they'd pass the corn.
And then the hosts with growl and grunt,
Beckon guests to join the hunt
For precious mushrooms, jewels and stones,
And caves with ancient scrolls and bones.

As sunlight slants and warms to gold,
Both hairy claws and hands grow cold;
While shadows lurch among the leaves
And trunks, and branches seem to breathe,
The furry trekkers and their guests
Make their way back, so all can rest
Among the cushions piled high.
And then at night they hear a cry:
A howling warg, a glowing eye?
They gather at the door to spy,
And see the lumpy dancing shapes
Of bears and bear-lings; joined with grace
By drifting lace of moth and wing,
By swan and horse: and then they sing
Of ancient joys and waters bright,
Of trolls and dangers of the night.
Of courage by the smallest folk
Of golden leaf and magic cloak.

Asleep upon the scented grass
The guests hear calls and feet that pass
Upon the stone-path by the glade
Where hound and horse a feast have laid.
At last they wander to the track
And clamber on each scruffy back
Of bears that lurch and rumble on
Toward homes and fences, roads and lawns;
But over walls and through the glass
They still see Ents and beasts that pass
And bears that wait within the shade.
For this, Tolkienia was made.

Rebirth of the Moon Land
by RangerLady23

Listen to the birdsong
high up in the trees
hear the gentle chuckle
of a nearby silver stream.

See tiny blooms and blossoms
just starting to peek out
grass and soaring treetops
beginning now to sprout.

The taint from Mordor's evil
has just begun to fade
but soon the forest beauty
will drive it out in spades.

The daffodils are dancing
in the whisper wind of spring
the smells of herbs and pine trees

is a welcome sort of thing.

Iris swords stand proudly
just starting now to grow
their journey towards the blue sky
has still a ways to go.

Sauron's reign has ended
and Gondor has a King
for the first time in a long time
the forest sees true spring.

True life has sprouted new here
since none remember when
the trees, the herbs, the flowers
in fair Ithilien.

"Treebeard, Merry and Pippin - A First Take"
by Thursday_Next, an original Limerick

Treebeard: ‘Gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning....’

Merry: ‘Gimli?’

Treebeard: ‘Destroyers and usurpers, curse them!’

Pippin: ‘You are Gimli, and I claim my £5...’

Treebeard: ‘No, I’m not’

Merry: 'Yes, you are. You’re Gimli disguised as a tree’

Treebeard: 'I am an Ent!’

Pippin: 'How come you’ve got his voice?’

Treebeard: '......erm, I am Gimli the White....’

Merry: 'No, you’re not...’

Pippin: 'I would say brown. With a hint of green...’

Treebeard: 'Don’t be hasty, little Orc...’

Merry: ‘We are hobbits. Halflings. Shirefolk!’

Treebeard: ‘No, you’re not...’

Pippin: ‘Yes, we are. Do we look like the sort of people who’d go around gnawing and biting.......have you got any food, by the way?’

Treebeard: 'Food? What’s food? Sounds like orc mischief to me!’

Merry: ‘Are you thick?’

Treebeard: ‘Yes, I am. I’m about fifteen feet round’

Pippin: ‘He is thick, Merry. Let us down!’

Treebeard: ‘Why?’

Merry: ‘Because you’re about to start singing, and both of us would rather be somewhere else when that happens...’

Treebeard: ‘That’s a bit harsh. Nevertheless, I can see that you are not orcs. Orcs wouldn’t say things like that....’

Pippin: 'No! No! He’s going to start! Let us down!’

Treebeard: 'Have you seen the Entwives?’

Merry: ‘Have they got Gimli’s voice as well?’

Treebeard: ‘I don’t remember...’

Pippin: 'We should never have left the Shire, Merry....’

6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - November 28, 2013
3rd draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - January 2, 2014


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)

(This post was edited by dernwyn on Apr 12 2014, 5:44pm)


Apr 12 2014, 2:37am

Post #6 of 41 (267 views)
This is wonderful Gramma! // [In reply to] Can't Post


Have an idea relating to the world of JRR Tolkien that you would like to write about? If so, the Third TORn Amateur Symposium will be running in the Reading Room April, 2014. *The Call for Submissions is up*!

**And Rem, you are doing that CoH chapter. Don't forget. **


Apr 12 2014, 3:01am

Post #7 of 41 (299 views)
Page 5 - Tolkienia Times "Spring in Ithilien" Edition – Recipes, Real Estate, Nerdsnort, Games [In reply to] Can't Post

Welcome to the last section of our "Spring in Ithilien" Edition of the Tolkienia Times.
In this Section, bring your appetite, check out some prime housing and prepare to have some fun!

Recipes inspired by Ithilien— the perfect chance to use your little box of salt
-by simplyaven

One couldn't walk through Ithilien, even at times of war and despair, and not recall that "a wealth of sweet-smelling herbs and shrubs" and a vast array of tree species grew there, for their sweet aroma filled up the air in spring. A mind tempted by culinary would always find this sweetness inspiring and would come up with a meal or two to share with a good friend.

Here is what the sweet-smelling herbs of Ithilien inspired in us.

Young potatoes with herbs
2 lbs young potatoes
vegetable oil or olive oil
sage (preferably fresh, but can be dried too)
thyme (also preferably fresh--can be found in the fields blooming from spring till late summer)
fresh garlic
fresh onion

Slice the young potatoes in halves or in three parts each. Don't make the chunks too thin. Heat the oil in a deeper frying pan or preferably casserole with a lid. Cut the young garlic and onion (at least two of each) into small pieces, salt them and add them to the oil. Let them soften and release their aroma. Add the potatoes. Cover with the lid.* Stir regularly so they fry equally well on all sides. When halfway ready (soft, but not orange yet), add the thyme and sage and cover. Do not stir from then on, because the potatoes will mash and you want them whole and orange-y.

You can prepare young lamb cutlets exactly the same way .

*If you use a frying pan, just stir regularly and don't cover. It is much better, though, to have a lid, as the aroma of the herbs will be fully absorbed by the potatoes.

Zucchini with yogurt sauce
3-4 zucchini
flour (half a cup)
vegetable oil enough for frying
1 yogurt (it's 700 g here but anything from 500 g up will do)
3-4-5 stems young garlic (the more, the better. Up to 10 is fine)

Peel the zucchini and slice them into circles about half an inch thick. Salt them and set them away for their water to drain. It will take about an hour. After that sprinkle the flour on a clean surface and roll each circle of zucchini in it. Heat the oil and fry the floury zucchini circles. Don't put a lid on, and keep the temperature high. The zucchini are ready when they turn golden. Don't overcook them. When all the zucchini are fried, stir the yogurt very well, add the chopped fresh garlic and 1 teaspoon of salt (for a 700 g yogurt). Put the zucchini in a big plate so that they don't make more than two levels and pour the yogurt sauce on top of them. Serve immediately.

'The Homing Gnome' Realty Estate. "Your #1 Tolkienia Property Advisor"

This month we are pleased to advertise three special houses for sale in Tolkienia, as well as one house up for auction. Have a look at our adverts and map below if you are interested in moving into Tolkienia. For exceptional service, please call 1379-9999

House 1

Address: Faramir House
Previous Owner/s: Ecthelion and Morwen Riverdale
Price: 9 Gold Rings

The attention to detail and finish that has been lavished on this 14 bedroom house by the current owners is there for anyone to see. It is quite simply the best house I have ever encountered in Tolkienia ... ever! Not only does it have marble floors with underfloor heating and a massive loft room, it even has a double garage and office space in the back garden - perfect for those looking to work from home. It features a three piece suite comprising walk in shower cubicle, hand wash basin, WC, tiled floor and splashbacks, double glazed window to side and heated towel rail. Pearls and diamonds and pale crystals are strewn upon the lawn and scattered in the grass; marvelous are the gardens of Faramir House. A real piece of Valinor for half the price!

Famous neighbour: Mayor Ethel (She asks that the new owners still host afternoon tea every second Thursday at 4:00 P.M.)

House 2

Address: 7 Buckleberry Heath
Previous Owner/s: Undisclosed
Price: 1 chest of treasure and an Oliphaunt

Description: Get on the ladder ... a three bedroom mid-terrace house offered with no onward chain. The property offers potential to make it your own, and with a good size garden this is a great first time buy. No onward chain as owner is looking to take up travelling on Oliphaunt. This would be a perfect house for new residents into Tolkienia. Friendly neighbourhood.

Famous neighbour: grammaboodawg (Roofing issues? She's the person to contact!)

House 3

Address: 10 Crickhollow
Previous Owner/s: Ms. Berúthiel
Price: 1 black cat and Tarannon Falastur's head

Description: Great location near South Baranduin. Very convenient location for travelling in and out of the city. The apartment has a definite odor that we tried to clear by opening the windows. Nice shower in bathroom, and bed is comfortable. Will need some love and considerable work done to property.

Famous neighbour: Mr. R. Brown (You'll have access to free bunny rides all year round!)

If you would like to purchase any of these houses please respond below, with the subject title: "I WANT THAT HOUSE!".

And we are most excited to advertise our auction house (House 4).

How the auction will work:

The house will be sold via a silent auction. If you would like to bid for the house, send a PM to DanielLB detailing your bid. The most enticing bid will win the house, along with a copy of the deed. The highest monetary bid might not necessarily win, so be imaginative and have fun (Bribes also accepted). Only one bid per user. Bidding will finish 3 days after this thread has been posted, and the new owner will be contacted swiftly. Decisions are final.

Address: 27 Buckland Gate
Previous Owner/s: Mr. Baggins
Price: ???

Description: This beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bath, underground 2000 square-foot house is located on and under one and a half acres down a quiet country road, with a surrounding front and back yard, including a back deck perfect for BBQs and a nice garden in front ("No admittance except on party business" sign included). This cozy home is complete with a wood fireplace in the living room, and a 8' X 6' window facing the green hillside. It has acres of open land, as well as a woodstove in the family dining room. All bedrooms are good-sized, and the master bedroom includes a private bath. The kitchen is complete with new granite countertops and elegant oak cabinets, as well as a brand new top-of-the-line stove and oven. A perfect house for recovering from any unexpected adventures.

Famous neighbour: Dame Ioreth (Perfect neighbour for singing The "Tolkienia Choo Choo" with!)

*Auction begins with bids *higher* than an old button and rusty sword. Happy bidding!*

by gramma

"Last night I dreamt that I was hanging out with hobbits, dwarves and wizards. After waking, I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep."

A Dwarf walks into a bar, and the barkeeper says, "Sorry. We don't serve miners here, so toss off."

Section 5: Games and diversions


Name that character, plant, animal, object or location from “Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit” (open book).
  1. Type of “spoiled” meat ________________
  2. What has roots as most everyone eats? ____________________
  3. Sounds like name of Tolkienian official _______________
  4. Not lone, but still _________________
  5. “If only the sage had come in________” (Pun alert)
  6. What Gollum used instead of a bucket ___________________
  7. Sam saw this rising from the ferns ___________________
  8. What is the garden of Gondor? _______________
  9. What made Sam feel like laughing? __________
  10. What did Sam find that he decided not to tell Frodo and Gollum about? ______________

"The Tolkienia Times" is brought to you by:
EDITOR: grammaboodawg
MAYOR: Ethel Duath
REPORTER: Wandering but not Lost, Rembrethil
LINGUISTIC ARTS: Thursday_Next, Mayor Ethel, LadyRanger23
RECIPES: simplyaven
GAMES: Mayor Ethel, Rembrethil
PERSONALS: Bracegirdle, DanielLB, Mayor Ethel, gramma,
ADVERTS: Brethil, Mayor Ethel, DanielLB, gramma

Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - November 28, 2013
3rd draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - January 2, 2014


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)

(This post was edited by dernwyn on Apr 12 2014, 11:40am)


Apr 12 2014, 3:04am

Post #8 of 41 (269 views)
***Answers to TOLKIENIA TIMES GAMES*** [In reply to] Can't Post


Answers, in order:
1) rabbit or stewed rabbit
2) potato[es] or potato plant
3) Ephel Duath
4) Ranger or Rangers
5) thyme
6) pan or pans or Sam's pans
7) smoke
8) Ithilien
9) The smell of Ithilien or herbs, flowers and trees
10) Ring scorched by fire or burned ground or a pile of bones

6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - November 28, 2013
3rd draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - January 2, 2014


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Apr 12 2014, 9:45am

Post #9 of 41 (262 views)
Wow! [In reply to] Can't Post

This is spectacular. I'll enjoy reading this throughout the day.

Great job to everyone involved. Cool

Grey Havens

Apr 12 2014, 12:36pm

Post #10 of 41 (258 views)
Faramir's house [In reply to] Can't Post

I am into it. Lol And I can provide the mayor with many properly preparedtea parties. Cool Only the price...

Middle earth recipes archive

I believe

Ethel Duath

Apr 12 2014, 8:31pm

Post #11 of 41 (250 views)
Well, we may be able to lower the price [In reply to] Can't Post

if the T. Times staff can get a year's free passes to the teas . . .Wink

Grey Havens

Apr 12 2014, 11:08pm

Post #12 of 41 (238 views)
Oh, for this house [In reply to] Can't Post

I will make them two times a week, how is that? Cool (getting ready with the Easter eggs basket for picking pearls and diamonds from the lawn LOL)

Middle earth recipes archive

I believe


Apr 13 2014, 9:08am

Post #13 of 41 (237 views)
Congratulations! [In reply to] Can't Post

Feel free to wave this about!

Grey Havens

Apr 13 2014, 12:24pm

Post #14 of 41 (220 views)
Aaaaaaaaah [In reply to] Can't Post

No waaaaay! I got it, I got it!!!! Yay! CoolCoolCoolCoolCoolCoolCoolCoolCool Everyone's invited to a pre-Easter tea party on April 17, 5 p.m. ! Please dress up, theme is Easter. Laugh And don't look for me over the next five days, I have a new hooooooooouseeeeeee to enjoy! HeartHeartHeartHeartHeartHeartHeartHeartHeartHeartHeart

P.S. This goes in a frame! Cool

Middle earth recipes archive

I believe


Apr 13 2014, 3:23pm

Post #15 of 41 (220 views)
This is so cool! [In reply to] Can't Post

A big applause to everyone involved! Great job, guys! Smile

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." - Henry David Thoreau

Ethel Duath

Apr 13 2014, 3:59pm

Post #16 of 41 (213 views)
Thanks! [In reply to] Can't Post

Want to bid on a house?Cool

Ethel Duath

Apr 13 2014, 4:00pm

Post #17 of 41 (210 views)
Does this mean [In reply to] Can't Post

I'm always honorably right? I shall have to tell my children. CrazyWink


Apr 13 2014, 5:08pm

Post #18 of 41 (219 views)
I already did [In reply to] Can't Post

Mr. Baggins' residence looks awfully charming... Wink

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." - Henry David Thoreau

Ethel Duath

Apr 13 2014, 7:57pm

Post #19 of 41 (195 views)
So, you know if you find any of that treasure [In reply to] Can't Post

rumored to be in some back tunnels under the hill, you are obligated to turn it over to the State.Angelic Evil


Apr 13 2014, 7:58pm

Post #20 of 41 (195 views)
Only when it comes to Tolkienia matters I'm afraid. ;-) [In reply to] Can't Post

(Another excuse to make Tolkienia real!)

Ethel Duath

Apr 13 2014, 8:03pm

Post #21 of 41 (190 views)
Heh! [In reply to] Can't Post

And since the offspring of any Tolkienian citizen or permanent resident is automatically a citizen, my kids would simply have no choice but to agree with me. Although, it might simply make a revolution inevitable. Hmmmm . . .


Apr 13 2014, 8:06pm

Post #22 of 41 (192 views)
Oh really? [In reply to] Can't Post

First I have to get the house, of course. I hope my bid was enticing enough... Angelic Wink

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." - Henry David Thoreau

Ethel Duath

Apr 13 2014, 8:44pm

Post #23 of 41 (198 views)
Ah! You'll have to ask Daniel since [In reply to] Can't Post

he's handling the bids (poor guy!ShockedEvil). The State will drop the claim on the treasure for the small token tax payment of 1/38 Silmaril.Wink

Actually, I hereby make an Executive Announcement that all treasure found within the borders of Tolkienia is subject to the F.K.L.W. law, except for that found on private property, which treasure would then revert to the current owner. (Now get those protesters off my front lawn!!!ShockedLaugh)

Grey Havens

Apr 14 2014, 12:09am

Post #24 of 41 (185 views)
Ah? what? Which law? [In reply to] Can't Post

What do you say? My pearls and diamonds which I am going to dig out from under the grass which no one moaned for ages are going to be taken from me???? No neclaces, no bracelets, no earrings??? Ah well, looks like I will cancel the tea parties in the future, hm. EvilMad

Middle earth recipes archive

I believe

Forum Admin / Moderator

Apr 14 2014, 12:26am

Post #25 of 41 (185 views)
"The Iso Bar"? [In reply to] Can't Post

How appropriate! Laugh And that was a good April Fools' forecast. Thank you for your expertise, Daniel!

And if I ever get a "case of shingles", I'll know just who to pass it along to...Wink


"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

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