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DanielLB
Immortal
Apr 1 2014, 7:05am
Post #1 of 36
(11644 views)
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Well, this is most bizarre! The Silmarillion movie confirmed AND a new movie board? What are the admins up to?
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Do the admins have something to tell us? As clear as day it says The Silmarillion decology has been confirmed. Confirmed!
I was taking my daily stroll through the TORn forums this morning, and was startled to see a new board. "The Silmarillion?!" I thought. Take a look for yourselves. It's right there! I've taken a couple of screencaps as evidence:
Click image to view
I figured it must be a relatively new board since there were so few posts and threads. Many of the regulars have already posted in it. Here's a screencap of the threads in case no one believes me:
There was a lot of excitement and (shockingly) friendliness in the official announcement thread: "Disney acquires movie rights to The Silmarillion - first move coming 2017!". Everyone agreed with each other, and were most polite with one another. For the first time ever, opinions were stated and no one argued. In all my excitement, I couldn't help but make my own (usual) thread, which can be viewed here:
It has been a couple of hours since I posted it, but it is still awaiting any replies. Perhaps people have just missed it in all the excitement? Even the tumble weed hasn't shown up yet.
I decided to see what everyone else was talking about. There were plenty of threads to look through. Brethil's thread was the most recent, but also the most contentious. I wasn't sure what to think of it, and I couldn't believe so many people were agreeing with her!
What's Richard Armitage ever done wrong? I thought everyone loved him? There's about 18 Richard Armitage threads on Page 1 alone in the "Off Topic" board - I always presumed he was popular.
Bomby's 2768 line thread on his top 10 Silmarillion scenes was an enjoyable read. You had to read it all backwards, mind, for any of it to make sense. Gramma announced that her local theater had given the keys to the premises, in fact, they just gave the whole theater to her since she bought 900 tickets for the first Silmarillion movie. All the staff had taken an early holiday and left Gramma serving the ice cream. I feel a bit pathetic just owning the 1 ticket.
There were three threads that were rather confusing, and need to be read to be believed. dormouse announced that the movies will be a flop and she's given up bothering anymore. She also copied into her thread an angry letter that she had sent to Peter Jackson. Glorfindela realised that she actually *loved* Orlando Bloom, his acting, and his interpretation of Legolas. She set up a petition to have him feature in all of the movies, and to appear in all the advertisement material. Nobody agreed with her. And geordie's "My thoughts on this" were very surprising!
The most entertaining thread was Starling's "Could my dog play Huan?"
Some of the suggestions were great, and people ended up dressing their pets in costumes and posting them in the thread. Kelvarhin created a brilliant Ungoliant costume for Midgey and sent it to Starling. Midgey loved it too much - Starling is still trying to get him off the ceiling as I type this. Starling says she hasn't eaten in days - chicken, cheese, rice and carrots - he's taken everything out of the cupboards and created a nest in the corner. We've sent a TORn food parcel to her just in case.
Moahunter and Lissuin have been cast in the films (possibly alongside Midgey, if he behaves). All I'm going to say is they've got the best roles EVER! Don't be fooled by the 59 replies to Ro's "random thoughts" thread. 50 of them are just her random thoughts.
I am surprised though that "The Physics of Balrog Wings" thread remains unlocked. DwellerInDale wrote an excellent essay on the *definitive answer* to "Do Balrgos Have Wings?" - he concluded yes and no (so it wasn't really conclusive at all). But the thread quickly descended (in usual TORn fashion) when pants became involved. Someone decided to photoshop Sil's pink bathing suit onto the Balrog which then resulted in people photoshopping the balrog in to rather compromising positions. The one reenacting the "healing scene" from DOS was hilarious. One of the admins tried to calm everyone down, but it just made it worse. People started writing Silmarillion jokes, and Aule's "Nonetheless they will have need of wood" caused many laughs. I think the thread has come sentient and there's no way of stopping it. You really need to check it out. Though the "Anyone else that posts in this thread is getting banned instantly" is probably putting people off.
So that's what I found. I can't believe there will be 10 Silmarillion movies. Unbelievable.
Getting access to the board is a bit hit and miss. Standing on one leg and reciting the Quenta Silmarillion does the trick for me. If anyone has managed to get access into the board, are there any new threads? What were your favourite posts and threads?
Disclaimer (highlight to read): This thread is intended for the viewing of all TORn users and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or relentlessly fascinated with Tolkien. Whilst I endeavour to ensure that the information contained in this thread is true and accurate, I cannot give any warranty to that effect. Though I suspect the admins have their own private party board where we are all excluded from. I wonder if they bicker like we all do? Please take everything above in the spirit of fun. Where deemed appropriate, I have sought permission to use names and/or pictures. Any opinions expressed above are all made up, and should not be taken seriously. Apply smileys liberally throughout the above as needed. Queries for complaints can be sent to april@fool.co.uk. This disclaimer does not affect your statutory rights. I cannot be held responsible for the consequences of this secret information. The materials contained in this thread are not copyrighted - please feel free to make these threads real. I'd love it! No animals were harmed in the creation of this thread - Midgey is fine, but Starling really is missing all that food. Someone will be along shortly to cut Richard Armitage free from the tree. Gramma has also been refunded the price of 900 tickets. Spelling, grammar and punctuation in above thread is left as an exercise for the reader. If you haven't chuckled or smiled once during this thread, please add some nutmeg and egg whites onto your laptop/phone/device and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing. Happy Tuesday!
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Starling
Half-elven
Apr 1 2014, 8:59am
Post #2 of 36
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Is it something to do with climate change?
It's awesome that Peter Jackson posted though. I always knew he was a lurker, but it was totes amazeballs to see him actually post!
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sador
Half-elven
Apr 1 2014, 10:49am
Post #3 of 36
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 1 2014, 11:13am
Post #4 of 36
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Disney to shoot the Silmarillion - in Hollywood!
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California, here I come! Hey, Sir Dennis! Lunch? 
(squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)
They'll fer sure need tons of background artists for this thing, so come on, LA Tornadoes! Give it a shot! 
Just remember, please, if you see Moahunter or me or Midgey on set, do not look us directly in the eye - ever!
Best wishes,
 Lissuin
(Daniel, honey, you are too too much. Happy Tuesday, indeed! ) 
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Altaira
Superuser
Apr 1 2014, 11:40am
Post #5 of 36
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You spoiled the surprise! Now we've had to unveil the Sil board earlier than we wanted to. You have a lot to answer for, Daniel!
Koru: Maori symbol representing a fern frond as it opens. The koru reaches towards the light, striving for perfection, encouraging new, positive beginnings.
"Life can't be all work and no TORn" -- jflower
"I take a moment to fervently hope that the camaradarie and just plain old fun I found at TORn will never end" -- LOTR_nutcase
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DanielLB
Immortal
Apr 1 2014, 11:46am
Post #6 of 36
(10622 views)
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California, here I come! Hey, Sir Dennis! Lunch? (squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!) They'll fer sure need tons of background artists for this thing, so come on, LA Tornadoes! Give it a shot! Just remember, please, if you see Moahunter or me or Midgey on set, do not look us directly in the eye - ever! Best wishes, Lissuin (Daniel, honey, you are too too much. Happy Tuesday, indeed! )
What roles do you and Moahunter really have.
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Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea
Apr 1 2014, 11:58am
Post #8 of 36
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The latest map of Tolkenia Thread
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solves a number of long-standing mysteries. It clearly notes the location of Waldo, Amelia Earhart's landing site and a number of missing senses of humor recently misplaced from the Hobbit board.
Also noted in the accompanying map legend were the sites for the Hobbit Theme Park as Disney is moving ahead with its plans to cash in... *ahem* give the fans an immersive Middle Earth Experience.
Attractions will include (others to follow as planning proceeds):
- The Barrel Race - organizers ask that rider not pee in their wet suits
- Out-ride the Black Riders - Reach the safety of the river and you will be allowed to live
- Mt. Doom Tanning Salon - Feel like you're Fading? They've got what you need!
- Shelob's Hammocks (Although construction was recently halted on this particular site due to workers going missing)
- Tolkien Tattoo parlor - for those "real, true" fans who want the entire LOTR tattooed on their body (Construction also halted when incensed purists groups uncovered options for having Bolrog wing back tattoos and the Ring poem tattooed... well, you know...)
- Fly Your Own Nazgul (at your peril)
- Dwarf Pony rides - for dwarves and hobbits only
- A psychedelic total immersion experience called I Put The Ring on my Finger. (Early tests note that fading has occurred. More tests will be required before further construction is allowed.)
Groups may sign up for special tours to be led by TORn. Only those members who concur with the latest deeply held beliefs of the Admins and Modars will be allowed on these tours. Beliefs will be posted on Sticky Notes stuck to lamp posts at the entrance to the park. Only said Admins and Modars are allowed to lead groups and post Sticky Notes via a special app that can be accessed only after repeated banging of head against desk while moderating posts that violate not only TORn Terms of Service but basic kindergarten rules of engagement.
Maps will be made available at the first Silmarillion movie premiere as part of a special promotion package that includes real fake Silmarils, Armitage wood dolls (sure to be a favorite among fans), tickets to the movie and a large popcorn with drink (Extra large available for an extra Buck-ninety-eight.)
Don't miss out - Register to win admission today!
Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
(This post was edited by Dame Ioreth on Apr 1 2014, 11:59am)
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Apr 1 2014, 5:04pm
Post #11 of 36
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I can't believe it's not butter, and
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that someone figured out where I live. Coffee sounds great!
Actually I live by Hollywood North, nowhere near LA. ;)
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Brethil
Half-elven
Apr 1 2014, 5:58pm
Post #13 of 36
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You figured out my innermost thoughts on RA Daniel...
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And I thought I put up such a good front!  Elaen too. We were just trying to be nice, after all.
And I see Uncle Bumpalump has really won Kim over, since she's given up on RA and Thorin. Its for the best. 
Have an idea relating to the world of JRR Tolkien that you would like to write about? If so, the Third TORn Amateur Symposium will be running in the Reading Room April, 2014. *The Call for Submissions is up*!
(This post was edited by Brethil on Apr 1 2014, 5:59pm)
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 1 2014, 6:19pm
Post #14 of 36
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"Basic kindergarten rules of engagement. Tattoos. Real fake Silmarils." Works for me!
Movies and theme parks just seem to belong together, don't they?
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 1 2014, 6:26pm
Post #15 of 36
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The Talking Purse has been written into the script.
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I know. I know. Hollywood just does not respect source material.
But I get lines!
Moahunter won't tell me what he's doing. Probably something to do with fish.
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Apr 1 2014, 7:18pm
Post #16 of 36
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I am the Keeper of the Cakes! However, I shall make an exception
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so you can make amends.
Here's the mix:
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Kim
Valinor
Apr 1 2014, 8:54pm
Post #17 of 36
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Well, I'm glad the truth is finally out
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Keeping up the pretense about how great Thorin and RA are was getting harder and harder, no matter how much they paid me.
Hee hee, thanks for the fun post Daniel! Still working my way around the new boards today.
“As such, you will address His Majesty as His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic..."
http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=719226;sb=post_time;so=DESC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed
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Kim
Valinor
Apr 1 2014, 8:57pm
Post #18 of 36
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You can only take being nice so far, then it just gets tiresome. So glad that's over.
“As such, you will address His Majesty as His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic..."
http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=719226;sb=post_time;so=DESC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed
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Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea
Apr 1 2014, 11:23pm
Post #20 of 36
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Shoot, was I supposed to start a thread on the Sil board?
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I go away for awhile and come back and there are all these threads...
I'm really getting excited for the first of 10 movies!
Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Apr 1 2014, 11:46pm
Post #22 of 36
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of posting these some other way? As usual, photobucket is a blank . . . )
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cats16
Half-elven
Apr 2 2014, 12:18am
Post #24 of 36
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Avandel
Half-elven
Apr 2 2014, 12:36am
Post #25 of 36
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Well, I really liked RA but now - *sigh* what a disappointment
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"What's Richard Armitage ever done wrong? I thought everyone loved him? There's about 18 Richard Armitage threads on Page 1 alone in the "Off Topic" board - I always presumed he was popular."
Trouble is, IMO, RA's not handling all this attention well. Took me a long time to notice, but he gets this smile in his eyes when he is being interviewed, like he is secretly making fun of the interviewer. I don't think that is polite just because he has been asked the same question six times - he shouldn't laugh at people. Just because RA reads a lot he doesn't need to make folks look stupid.
Then there's RA's attitude towards cats, and as I love all animals and have 4 cats, for me that was pretty unforgivable. Especially since my cats are as snuggly a group of pets as anyone could want, and they probably wouldn't like RA either. As scruffy as he has been looking, he probably would smell funny to cats, too. And dogs for that matter.
Finally, of course, there was all RA's scene-stealing and hogging screen time especially in DOS. You know, it's not the first time that I thought well of a celebrity and been disappointed *shrugs*. But no amount of talent in the world can make up for not being classy (think Mel Gibson) and while it's fine to "be human" there are plenty of famous people that are as nice as they could be, without getting an attitude. Plus, re Thorin - what, he can't crack a smile or what? The character needs to get over it, for heaven's sake!
I know, I practically covered TORn in drool over RA, I thought he was special as a person as well as talented. But now he's just another performer to me with great teeth, so he definitely should be cast as a tree. That will both teach him humility and be useful, since supposedly RA is tall. Supposedly. I'm just so disheartened about my wrong perceptions of someone I'm not even sure RA is actually tall, he's probably wearing lifts like Tom Cruise. Pitiful. Hope TORn members will be nice about my changed attitude as well - this isn't a person I know for real, and sometimes it takes a while for things to sink in. We've all been fooled by people we see on a daily basis, let alone actors and politicians.
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How funny I should work on something you were *actually* planning on doing. Will a cake for the mods make it up? (Sorry!) 
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