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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Fan Art:
Dwarves gather at Wellington hotel, mysterious moose sightings - follow-up "article"

Avandel
Valinor

Mar 4 2014, 4:52am

Post #1 of 20 (962 views)
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Dwarves gather at Wellington hotel, mysterious moose sightings - follow-up "article" Can't Post

TENSION MOUNTS IN WAKE OF DWARF PRINCE ABDUCTION (WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND)
Update – Early this evening, reporters were given unprecedented access to the Heir of Durin, Thorin Oakenshield, at the luxurious Intercontinental Wellington Hotel before a dinner hosted by Mr. Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit “from the Shire”. Mr. Baggins has been described by the glossy-maned, regal Thorin Oakenshield (e.g., His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Best Hair in Middle Earth, the Hot Dwarf King, the Biggest Sword, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic née handsome intelligent British actor Richard Armitage) as an “ultimate weapon” in the quest to reclaim his older nephew Kili Fili (a Hobbit dwarf prince played by the attractive and personable Kiwi actor Dean O’Gorman). In a shocking development, Kili Fili was apparently taken from his hotel room last night after a party held to “make a man out of Ori, so to speak”, according to a (probably) female guest dressed in a patent leather miniskirt and over-the-knee silver lamé stiletto heel boots. It is widely thought that Kili Fili has been taken by an overly zealous elven fan group calling themselves the “Daggers of Tauriel” and believed to be a faction of the self-styled “Thranduil Thralls.”

Reporters were able to speak with members of the fully-costumed dwarf cast of Peter Jackson’s epic films (based on Tolkien’s The Hobbit), who stomped about the lobby waiting for the arrival of Thorin Oakenshield and Sir Peter Jackson, occasionally breaking into song and tossing vases and chairs about. However, the gentle young dwarf Ori, played by character actor Adam Brown, remains incognito while he recovers from the effects “of too much ale” and is still reportedly unable to speak or “even lift his head, except to use the bucket”, explained his older brother Dori disgustedly (a fussy but immensely strong dwarf character played by actor Mark Hadlow). “From now on, he’s coming to the salon with me when my beard is rebraided. I blame myself, I never should have left him alone with Kili and Fili.”


The ongoing abduction crisis had been preceded this week by rampant rumors throughout the city of an influx of a large group of “Thranduil Thralls”, a dangerous international elf fan group known for their use of bows and an inordinate fondness for excellent wines. Tension has mounted throughout Wellington over reports of “well-armed tall thin Robin Hood types leaping across rooftops” and “buying up entire shelves of hair straightening products and weight loss pills”.


In addition, a spokesperson for New Zealand’s Auckland Zoo confirmed this afternoon that wildlife specialists were attempting to ascertain the veracity of reports of an enormous moose apparently roaming the streets of Wellington, spurred on by a surge of complaints to the mayor’s office from irritated parents. “The thing is, the kids that say they’ve seen this animal – which is supposedly enormous with huge horns – say it actually has a rider of some kind, which gets them all excited,” explained a zoologist. “And the rider is supposedly wearing a crown with berries and some sort of sparkly outfit. So the kids get all excited because they think Christmas has come early or it’s a new holiday or festival or something, and parents can’t get their kids to sleep and have to explain that no, no one is getting a whole bunch of presents. Parents want this quote “drag queen riding a Budweiser Clydesdale or whatever it is” arrested.”


“But so far none of our experts have been able to spot the moose or horse. And we’re stretched kind of thin right now anyway trying to round up the shipment of prize pigs – actually prize boars is the more correct term – that Sir Peter Jackson had flown in for the Hobbit movies. They are still rampaging through the Wellington airport after getting loose and going berserk when the plane landed today. Unfortunately a number of them were easily able to outrun the farmers brought in to round them up, or just ran the men over. So now a number of these “war boars” are wandering about the city and surrounding countryside – one woman had to be sedated when she found her seven-year old son feeding the “nice pony” a bowl of milk and cereal in their living room.”


“Her husband was able to chase the boar from the house, but not before all the furniture got destroyed. Plus the kid was all upset because his father “scared away My Little Pony (TM).” It’s kind of sad because the family had just rebuilt after a fire a few months ago – the woman’s sister had been visiting and it was one of those spontaneous combustion fires we get when someone stares at the “Thorin stamps” for too long – the woman had warned her sister but looking at the stamps is incredibly addictive. Very tragic. So you can see it’s not a good time to be looking for an invisible moose.”


“Oh, there’s a horse or moose or elephant or SOMETHING,” complained Alfrid [no last name given] to a reporter. “When I took this job after the Laketown stuff (good riddance, the place was a cesspool), the title was “Wellington Street Sanitation & Health Engineer, Third Tier”. Sounds pretty impressive, right? Didn’t think it meant having to drag a little wagon through the streets, shoveling up caca - the remarks I’ve gotten from tourists – like am I going to make like sand sculptures at the beach with my pile, hur, hur, hur. The loads I’ve been collecting these past few days have put my spine out.”


(The interviewing reporter diplomatically refrained from pointing out that Mr. Alfrid, in fact, already appeared to be spineless, while his photographer muttered under his breath about having to “Photoshop out that zit and unibrow – it’s like that movie where the guy can’t stop staring at the mole.”)


Back at the entrance to the Intercontinental Wellington Hotel, an explosion of camera flashes and frenzied jostling from reporters heralded the arrival of Thorin Oakenshield (e.g., His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Best Hair in Middle Earth, the Hot Dwarf King, the Biggest Sword, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic). Excited reporters were kept firmly back by the large group of leather and chain mail clad “Thorin Thralls” attending Thorin Oakenshield, who now appear to have supplemented their arsenal with weapons obtained from the WETA workshop. A number of them also sported dwarf tattoos and runes. Reporters were force to shout questions past the heavily booted “Thralls” who narrowed their eyes and gestured menacingly with various swords and axes and modified evil-looking hair care implements.


“His Majesty has agreed to answer a few brief questions – he is already late to Mr. Baggin’s dinner as the main Wellington streets are sullied with what seems to be appallingly large piles of compost, and getting lost from having to take side streets here. His Majesty hasn’t seen anything that rustic since being in the Shire,” stated a “Thrall” in an iron breastplate embossed with a stylized mountain symbol. “Which hasn’t improved his mood any, considering His Majesty is already distraught over the disappearance of his heir and having to cut his mini-cruise on the Seven Seas short to deal with the crisis.”


“Mr. Armitage – I mean Your Majesty,” stammered a weedy looking reporter as Thorin Oakenshield’s amazing Caribbean sea aqua-blue eyes fixed on him (His photographer stared in consternation at his camera lens, which had cracked from the sheer intensity of the King Under the Mountain’s gaze. More knowledgeable cameramen know Peter Jackson’s cinematic team employed special filters when filming Richard Armitage’s close-ups after several thousand dollars worth of equipment exploded early on in filming). “You’ve stated you never break character, but – we thought Legolas had taken Orcrist from you in Mirkwood – poor Orlando Bloom got a lot of comments over that from your fans (things like “being pitifully jealous over not having the biggest”) – I mean – would you care to comment on how you appear to have reacquired this weapon, since”, the reporter began to shake with nervousness, “There’s supposed to be this big scene in the third movie where the elf king *cough* places Orcrist…” the reporter’s voice trailed off into a stammer as His Majesty’s eyes began to fill with irritation.


“No one can say what Peter Jackson is going to do, and besides he likes tweaking the fans re canon” snapped Thorin Oakenshield née Richard Armitage. “And my character is far too majestic to spend time answering mundane wardrobe questions when this appears to be an excellent opportunity to engage in some intense and incredibly photogenic brooding over the fate of Kili, er Fili.”


“Nori!”


Nori, a dwarf in the company characterized by a spectacular hairstyle and a penchant for thievery (played by handsome energetic actor Jed Brophy) stepped smartly forward. “Piece of cake, really”, smirked Nori. “Orlando Bloom had had a meltdown on set over his face being completely CGI’d. His fans were flooding his agent and Warner Brothers with complaints, see, saying they were tricked because they paid to see Orlando Bloom as Legolas, not some digital face on Orly’s body. But Legolas still had to look younger than his daddy since these are supposed to be ageless elves and all.”


“Peter was impressed with Orly’s commitment to the films and footed the bill for the BOTOX clinic. But you know that stuff can be kind of tricky, and basically Orly got a slight overdose and just had to lie there for a while until it wore off. So I just threw on a white jacket, and waltzed in and grabbed the sword, nobody bothers you if you look official and carry a clipboard. Though I hear now Legolas is threatening to “scissor off the starfish legs” of my ‘do – hur, hur hur – not much of sense of humor. Don’t know what he’s upset about, Orcrist didn’t do him much good in the last film, got a real smackdown, hadn’t seen anything like that since Azog…” Nori stopped as Thorin née Richard Armitage glared at him “Of course that scene was completely different. And majestically epic of course. Not the same at all.”


“Not that you were any help whatsoever, as I recall,” flashed Thorin, roused from contemplation of the fate of his nephew. The surrounding “Thralls” paled as they remembered Thorin Oakenshield laying wounded on the rock at the end of the first Hobbit movie, though one pointed out to a reporter that “still, His Majesty’s hair fanned perfectly out against the stone – the entire Internet community agrees that Thorin Oakenshield is the best looking unconscious/fake dead warrior in cinematic history. There’s You-Tube videos and everything.”


“I would have charged right in there, but my hair was on fire at the time,” protested Nori née Jed Brophy. “It was fine for YOU, epically stalking through the flames with a swelling soundtrack and a carefully monitored wind machine so your hair blew back majestically and your robe swirled perfectly. Even the d@mn eagle picking you up was like watching the Bolshoi ballet.”


“The rest of us were just left hanging as that tree headed for oblivion and a few of us were getting pretty nauseous. And with all the alcohol in the styling gel they use on my ‘do, my head lit up like one of Gandalf’s little party tricks. I would have been in real trouble except Oin (accomplished actor John Callen as the apothecary dwarf of the Company) dumped one of his weird concoctions on my head – put the fire out all right, but I still reek like a mix of rotten broccoli and baby powder. The eagle carrying me said he’d never smelled anything like it, was more like roadkill than anything. Pretty humiliating and on top of that there’s Peter laughing his @ss off about the whole thing – said it’s great stuff for the next blog.”


Reporters then pressed the King Under the Mountain with more frenzied questioning “What about you threatening Bilbo over the Arkenstone?” “Does he have it?” “What do you say about being accused of being b@tshiite crazy?”


“Disturbing rumors have been related to me claiming there was an incident where I threatened my beloved Hobbit in a moment of dragon sickness, i.e. madness. As if. There’s still fighting in the courts over whether the famous image of myself hugging Mr. Baggins can receive the Pulitzer AND the Nobel Peace prize.”


“It’s just been difficult for some in human audience to truly comprehend that, dwarves as race, are much more direct and forceful when communicating than other races. We don’t mess about. I wasn’t threatening Bilbo, just moving the conversation along – you know hobbits, all that inherent politeness and interest in minutiae – takes forever just to ask for directions, so when I was in the Shire I didn’t even bother. But with dwarves – Bilbo just misunderstood a bit, he hasn’t been around dwarves all that long, you know. That’s one of the things that attracted me to these films in the first place, the many layers of depth within a multi-cultural society. And considering how feisty Martin Freeman is, it’s laughable to think he wouldn’t give back as good as he got, if it came to it.”


“Aye, that’s the truth,” rumbled Dwalin née Graham McTavish, flexing his knuckle dusters. “Balin (as played by the superb, classy actor Ken Stott who is a favorite of Hobbit audiences) and I were arguing over a ball game one time, and he hit me so hard with that mace-sword thing I was unconscious for three days. Pointing a sword at someone is something dwarf babies do – ‘course when dwarves grow up, we don’t waste time pointing, we just start swinging.” Balin and Dwalin smiled at each other affectionately and banged their foreheads together, causing the surrounding reporters and photographers to collectively wince.


“Plus, let’s face it, that was a superb moment for Thorin to look incredibly intense and just smokin’ hot, with the way my hair was being blown in the light breeze through the doorway and a little skin showing at the neck. Peter Jackson is too savvy of a director to pass up an opportunity like that,” added His Majesty. (A massive gust of air blew the registration screens off the front desk of the hotel as the “Thralls” sighed at the thought; comments like “wish Thorin would look at me like that”, “who wants some wimp?” and “he’ll never be a tenth as loco as I am for him” seemed to be the overall sentiment among the suddenly glassy-eyed “Thralls”.)


“Ask Peter Jackson where the Arkenstone is, the script changes so often, he’s the only one who’d know – maybe Bilbo sold it on E-bay.” continued the stunning leader of the Dwarves. “And as for being “crazy”, for one thing Thorin’s the only dwarf who hasn’t eaten a thing except a little soup and some booze through two movies, and things aren’t shaping up much better for the third. I didn’t even get any muesli at Beorn’s house, so I think Thorin deserves some slack (*Thank the Valar for my “Thralls” who stepped up with gourmet meals on the Seven Seas*)


Thorin Oakenshield shrugged, causing the streaked dark chocolate locks around his face to shimmer in the light. “I’m hero of the Battle of Azanulbizar, the leader of my exiled people, the shoulders on whom a kingdom rests, who has waded in blood and suffering across Middle Earth while just about every member of every other race (except for my “Thralls”) has been anything but helpful, including dropping rotten fish on my gloriously silken signature mane. I won’t even discuss the toilet, even if Peter thought it was hysterical.” (The “Thralls” gasped in remembered horror – “it was a disgrace beyond measure” one of them hissed, grimly loading a crossbow. “Some of us still have flashbacks over the desecration, especially the “Hair Thralls”.)


“All the cr@p (no pun intended) I’ve put up with. I’m Thorin the Majestic, not Thorin the Emo. Besides, everyone loves a bad boy (just look at how popular I was as Guy of Gisborne). Next question!”


But reporters were drowned out as the “Thralls” burst into cheering applause for several minutes, pounding the marble lobby floor with assorted weaponry and shouting that “His Majesty would never be alone again” “Du Bekar” “Anyone coming near your hair is a dead man walking” and other expressions of approval.


It was at that moment events began to compound which lead to the accidental injuries of many of the reporters and photographers present. “When are we going to eat?” demanded Bombur (an enormously fat dwarf in the company piloted by actor Stephen Hunter) when the “Thralls” had subsided somewhat. “I’ve heard Manu Bennett, who now runs a catering and pastry shop in South Bay, was hired to do the food for Mr. Baggins – and he’s bringing mini-pies and chocolate covered strawberries!”


The entire group of reporters began to shout “How does it feel to actually say a line? Who is going to play Azog now that Manu Bennett has become a caterer? Did he change careers after getting chased off set by a “Thorin Thrall?”


“Atkât!” roared Thorin. The reporters squinted against the strong breeze generated as all the “Thralls” sighed in unison at the sound of the richly baritone, musical voice raised in anger. A number began to fan themselves vigorously. “I don’t have time for this, I need to find my Kili – er, Fili, dammit. I’ve already gotten insulting comments about “being cruel to poor Fili – I mean Kili – for leaving him at the dock at Laketown” with those puppy eyes of his.” Kili (née the lively gorgeous actor Aidan Turner) squirmed uncomfortably, but was quickly flanked by “Thralls” whispering comfort.


“Not that Kili seems to be emotionally traumatized about not seeing the “doors of his ancestors” since he was partying with Fili and Ori and a bunch of “Thralls” the night his brother vanished. That’s what comes of raising dwarves around humans – they get soft. And irresponsible – I tried to spend a little down time reading poetry and tasting wine and *ahem – other things* (a number of the “Thralls” smiled contentedly, apparently remembering their time with Thorin aboard the Seven Seas) and look what happens.”


“Of course that WAS the manly dwarf thing to do, for my nephews to suck it up and move on, preferably with lots of ale – and speaking of moving on, we’ve got a dinner to get to with my Hobbit, our ultimate weapon. *Cough* besides the eagles. Maybe I’ll actually be able to get a sandwich down this time, I need my strength to carry on the quest for Kili.”


“You mean Fili” said Kili, gazing worshipfully at his uncle. “I’m Kili.”


“That’s what I said, Fili.” Thorin Oakenshield had turned toward the banquet hall as cameras flashed, photographers hoping to capture that all-important shot of the famed regal profile of His Majesty as his decadent hair swirled around his shoulders.


Tragically, the assembled interviewers had been crowded together by the protective “Thorin Thralls”, and, if female, seemed to have entered a mystic state, immobile and only able to focus on His Majesty with their eyes. It was terribly unfortunate that this group of reporters had stood in between Bombur, a noted dwarf fighter, and the dining area as the doors were opened.


“It was a lot like the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, basically”, said Bofur (a cheeky optimistic dwarf in the Company acted by comedian and actor James Nesbitt) in the aftermath. “Eerily so, really, because Bombur is as big as three bulls. And with all that bulk, it’s like an oil tanker trying to stop at sea, it takes a while – even Bifur (a dwarf with a permanent battle injury performed by William Kircher), who isn’t mentally on this planet, knows better than to come between Bombur and dinner. Especially after that incident where Bifur had to hold Bombur from his plate with his boar spear. Once the smell of food wafted over, I doubt there was any other reality in the universe for Bombur except for meat pies. You just needed to be light on your feet and get out of the way – but, if you couldn’t move fast enough – oh, well, I’m sure these folks have medical benefits. I imagine it goes with the job. And some of them captured pictures that will net a few awards - plus now they can say they’ve genuinely experienced dwarf behavior.”


Thorin Oakenshield gazed past everyone and engaged in more majestic brooding, doubtlessly reminded of many skirmishes he had been part of through the years as the lobby bore a distinct resemblance to a battlefield. “Thralls” surrounded His Majesty protectively as the hotel staff fluttered about, removing the prone bodies of groaning reporters. Dwalin (née Graham McTavish) looked up from leaning on his huge axe and rolled his eyes. “Thought the press was supposed to be observant and all” he commented. “No dwarf would have stood between a dwarf who uses a huge ladle as weapon and a free dinner.”


Fortunately, the hotel doctor and paramedics were quickly able to ascertain none of the resulting injuries were serious “things looked worse than they actually were, part of it was just the shock of it, you know? Plus the women (and some of the men, frankly) had already gone limp from the sheer charisma of Thorin Oakenshield – they’re not as adjusted as the “Thorin Thralls” although we’ve had some occasionally bad cases at the outpatient clinic – but a number of them never felt a thing.”


The hotel manager has given a statement: “We are beyond honored to have Thorin Oakenshield e.g. His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Best Hair in Middle Earth, the Hot Dwarf King, the Biggest Sword, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic on the premises along with his entire Company, and entirely sympathetic and supportive to his urgent quest to find his missing nephew Kili Fili.


“After a number of dwarves were extricated from the doorway of the banquet hall after trying to enter simultaneously, His Majesty has followed his Company to Mr. Bilbo Baggin’s dinner along with his *cough* protective guard, e.g. the “Thorin Thralls”. We are succoring the remaining members of the press in our Premier lounge with an open bar as they wait for the expected arrival of Sir Peter Jackson. We understand that Sir Jackson will be arriving late, as a Discovery Channel crew is filming a documentary on the boar that had a litter in the Cinnabon shop at the airport, and wanted a commentary on this heartwarming event. No doubt Sir Peter Jackson will provide additional news when he arrives. Thank you, and let us keep our thoughts and support with the missing Prince Kili Fili.” (Collider)




Elanor of Rohan
Lorien


Mar 4 2014, 2:57pm

Post #2 of 20 (618 views)
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I expect that the faction of the Tauriel's daggers [In reply to] Can't Post

are the most free-spirited, unconventional and rebellious among the Thranduil Thralls...
Height does not matter as long as you have gorgeous blond hair and cornflower blue eyes??

But seriously, this time I finished working first, then I got to read itWink.
Can't wait for the next chapter (OMG the drag queen haha)


Elarie
Gondor

Mar 4 2014, 5:00pm

Post #3 of 20 (601 views)
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This is so great and so funny [In reply to] Can't Post

Waiting breathlessly to find out where Kili, I mean Fili, has been all this time. Love your stories!


Theodora
The Shire

Mar 4 2014, 8:03pm

Post #4 of 20 (595 views)
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Wonderful [In reply to] Can't Post

Wonderful stories. Cannot wait for the next episode. Thank you Avandel.


Kim
Valinor


Mar 4 2014, 8:45pm

Post #5 of 20 (603 views)
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Bravo once again! [In reply to] Can't Post

I really should know better than to eat or drink anything when reading one of your "articles"! Another magnificent tour de force of reporting. Simply stupendous! (I accidently typed studpendous first - maybe I should have left it like that?) Tongue

“As such, you will address His Majesty as His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic..."

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=719226;sb=post_time;so=DESC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed


Starglass
Rivendell


Mar 5 2014, 5:28pm

Post #6 of 20 (614 views)
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Oh my goodness! [In reply to] Can't Post

I was having a bad day and this just made it so much better! This is the first of your lovely reports that I've read so of course I had to go back and find the rest! Can't wait for the next in the saga!


Quote
“And my character is far too majestic to spend time answering mundane wardrobe questions when this appears to be an excellent opportunity to engage in some intense and incredibly photogenic brooding over the fate of Kili, er Fili.”


My favorite part! Tongue


Avandel
Valinor

Mar 6 2014, 12:02am

Post #7 of 20 (593 views)
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well, you know Thranduil never should have been patronizing with Tauriel [In reply to] Can't Post

Because if a besotted Thorin Thrall like myself can come up for air long enough to notice the superb genetic pool of the line of Durin a.k.a. Fili and Kili, a sharp-eyed huntress elf like Tauriel wasn't going to overlook what was right under her nose.
Besides, like all women in a stiflingly boring atmosphere, for sure she was in the mood for something different.

Will Kili be heartbroken or will a Thorin Thrall, weary of trying to out-compete her well-armed sisters, look too long at Kili's easy smile and step in to support him emotionally? Will a fight break out between the Thralls over who gets to serve Thorin his sandwich? Will Peter Jackson ever be able to round up all his pigs in time to film the arrival of Iron Hill Dwarves? And most of all, where is Fil and what are the "Daggers" doing to him?

Glad folks are enjoying my fits of imagination, because there can never be too much of the Heirs of Durin. Ever.

PS. I need to quit picking on poor Legolas tho, who I do like - great fighter and did shoot off all those orcs in the DOS river scene. But at least in my version Orcrist is back where it belongs, LOL.


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Mar 6 2014, 4:51am

Post #8 of 20 (582 views)
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The mystery deepens! [In reply to] Can't Post

Are they certain the escape of the boars wasn't a distraction orchestrated by a certain, ah, "drag queen"? (Oh, where's Elrond/Hugo when he's so needed! Laugh)

Love the use of "Kili Fili"! And poor Alfrid!

I do hope Sir Peter is getting every bit of this on film...Wink


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"






Kim
Valinor


Mar 6 2014, 5:37am

Post #9 of 20 (580 views)
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"A diversion" [In reply to] Can't Post

the plot thickens!


Of course it's all on film (er digital thingies). He films everything! Which means we'll get to see brooding Thorin and his hair in glorious color soon!

“As such, you will address His Majesty as His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic..."

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=719226;sb=post_time;so=DESC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed


Avandel
Valinor

Mar 6 2014, 4:06pm

Post #10 of 20 (591 views)
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Your sig image [In reply to] Can't Post

made me sigh so heavily, my fake Tiffany lamp blew over. *Glassy eyes*


Starglass
Rivendell


Mar 7 2014, 1:44am

Post #11 of 20 (565 views)
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Ah yes. [In reply to] Can't Post

An understandable reaction. Observe how even the sunbeams seek to illuminate the subject!

Lol!! Where's your avatar? I can imagine that you would choose an equally lovely photo. Tongue


Avandel
Valinor

Mar 7 2014, 4:21pm

Post #12 of 20 (647 views)
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Image frustration [In reply to] Can't Post

Oh, I need to do an avatar but I'm no Photoshop expert - so right now still messing with pixels and sizes and matching TORn requirements e.g. haven't figured out why an online resizer can work so well, but what am I doing wrong in Photoshop where in theory you can do the same thing. E.g a few of the online resizers can reduce the image size and it still displays large and looks good, but when I mess w. an image in re pixels and .jpg quality in Photoshop the quality degrades.

I'll figure it outCool Sometimes I've gotten it right on TORn but can't pinpoint what I did right.

The other thing is I start messing with images of Thorin and the Hobbit movies and LOL I can't stop - I start w. one thing and it turns into something else. Ideas pop into my head and I'm off making a collage or something. That started happening last night when I decided to tinker with an image of Thorin. I'll post the montage it turned into if I think it comes out OK.

And OK, sometimes I'll pull up an image of Thorin and just stare for a while, LOL not productive. Thorin is too impossibly glorious a creation. I can't even fathom my reaction if they actually trot him out in that "NZ stamp" outfit - holy 'smokin dwarf + Kili and Fili. Picturing THAT on a 30-foot high IMAX screen - will be highly spiritual for many of us I am sure.Evil


Starglass
Rivendell


Mar 9 2014, 4:11pm

Post #13 of 20 (539 views)
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Avatar [In reply to] Can't Post

Well, I'm looking forward to it when you do figure it out! I used to use Photoshop a lot but I'm not really familiar with resizing in it. I recently switched over to Mac and the default photo preview program let me resize my avatar nicely. I didn't do any other editing on it, though.

Ooh, please do post the collage if you want! And I'm somehow not familiar with the NZ stamp? (I feel this may be important)


Avandel
Valinor

Mar 9 2014, 5:11pm

Post #14 of 20 (546 views)
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holy smokin' chocolate leather [In reply to] Can't Post

Happily New Zealand which seems to have the smartest post office stamp designers in the world came out with actual stamps for AUJ and for DOS. Except Thorin is dressed in what seems to be TABA clothes since that's the only reason I know he would be dressed like that and Fili and Kili are dressed in similar armor in the DOS Warner Brothers banner.

E.g. timelinewise for publicity it's kind of a mashup, but I'm not complaining. A lot of us who collect ordered stamp packs etc. at http://stamps.nzpost.co.nz/...set-miniature-sheets. If you do order, be confident, my stamps came beautifully protected - wonderful service. But I've had enormous fun considering how many mailboxes have exploded by someone using too many Thorin stamps on a package - considering my own reaction when I first saw these images LOL. Or how many incidents of spontaneous combustion and/or heat attacks they caused.....



Kim
Valinor


Mar 9 2014, 6:45pm

Post #15 of 20 (584 views)
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Hey Avandel [In reply to] Can't Post

I think you've found your avatar pic! I vote for the one on the right. Just use the image resizer here: http://www.amagpiesnest.com/...ne/Onlineediting.htm


Of course, then there will be the problem of everyone who reads your posts spontaneously combusting...ah well, a risk I'm sure many of us are willing to take! Cool

“As such, you will address His Majesty as His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic..."

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=719226;sb=post_time;so=DESC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed


Avandel
Valinor

Mar 10 2014, 3:50pm

Post #16 of 20 (517 views)
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So many to choose from LOL [In reply to] Can't Post

*Grins* the image on the right (and I always am filled with despair that I can't get a poster or high res image of that one) is always up for consideration. Assuming these are TABA outfits think Kili, Fili and Thorin are just going to be jaw-dropping (as though they weren't already).

I've also considered a profile shot or there's a vblog image I like where Thorin is smiling, just to change things up. But the resizer will help, thank you!

Meanwhile, I am still messing with a Photoshopped collage I started just because. But word has reached me that while Thorin has managed to get some soup at Bilbo's dinner, he is still waiting on his sandwich because a fight broke out between a couple of Thralls over who would get to serve him. Apparently while Thorin is having his soup the rest of the dwarves (except Bombur who is stuffing his face) are cheering the Thralls on, as this is fine dwarf behavior and duels are not uncommon among dwarves, as it makes relationships so much simpler.

While the Thralls are rolling around under the table, the dwarves are taking bets, though Oin had to bolster Bilbo with some smelling salts.


Kim
Valinor


Mar 10 2014, 5:40pm

Post #17 of 20 (508 views)
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Well, you could always follow magpie's lead [In reply to] Can't Post

and rotate through several pictures. Wink Looking forward to seeing the collage!


Glad to hear Thorin's getting some food.

“As such, you will address His Majesty as His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic..."

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=719226;sb=post_time;so=DESC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed


Avandel
Valinor

Mar 11 2014, 1:29am

Post #18 of 20 (518 views)
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Because I find Thorin hopelessly inspiring... [In reply to] Can't Post

But hey, last time I looked there were like 8,000 tagged images of Thorin, evidently, on Deviant Art alone. And I just KNOW someone's going to say "what's Aslan doing there?" Or "there are no lions in Middle Earth or in TABA" (yes there are, in the East, evidently they eat people. Maybe not in the battle tho who knows what PJ will do.) But I wanted to do something with Thorin and a lion for a while, so I made this for no reason whatsoever - with Middle Earth the possibilities are endless. Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor.
Because he has the only right.



(This post was edited by Avandel on Mar 11 2014, 1:36am)


Kim
Valinor


Mar 11 2014, 2:10am

Post #19 of 20 (520 views)
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Excellent [In reply to] Can't Post

Thorin's hair is described as a lion's mane in the WETA books, so I find this highly appropriate. Thanks for creating and sharing!


P.S. While I was typing this, a commercial for the Lion King (broadway show) just came on the tv. Coincidence? I think not! Cool

“As such, you will address His Majesty as His Majesty, the Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, the King Beneath the Mountain, the Lion of Erebor, the High King of the Dwarves, the True Treasure of Erebor, the Face that Launched 10,000 Sighs, or Thorin the Majestic..."

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=719226;sb=post_time;so=DESC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed


Starglass
Rivendell


Mar 13 2014, 3:35pm

Post #20 of 20 (535 views)
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That is beautiful! [In reply to] Can't Post

Thanks for sharing it! I love his profile superimposed over the profile of the lion, so appropriate. He has the heart of a lion for sure!

Also, thanks for sharing the NZ stamp images for me to see! I may have to order some. Wink

 
 

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