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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Fan Art:
Thorin Thralls overrun the battle at Erebor - follow up "article"


Feb 24 2014, 12:04am

Post #1 of 8 (481 views)
Thorin Thralls overrun the battle at Erebor - follow up "article" Can't Post

Follow-up piece to an "article" posted in the Hobbit forum recent Dwalin appreciation thread - because at the end of the day, it all leads back to Thorin.......Cool

Update - As described yesterday by primary Hobbit cast member Graham McTavish (who plays the tough, loyal dwarf lieutenant to actor Richard Armitage's charismatic dwarf leader Thorin), a now notorious melee caused by an international group of fans at the Wellington Stone Street studios had ended peacefully. "It was Richard stepping up as leader that took care of things", remarked Mr. McTavish as he surveyed a variety of gourmet delicacies being offered to him by a group of admiring women dressed in rugged leather battle gear. Another woman dressed in chain mail opened a cold bottle of ale with a small axe and handed it to him. "Thank you love," said MecTavish, "So these fans that infiltrated the taping of the Erebor battle sequence - we think most of them are women who call themselves “Thorin Thralls” - had actually chased the big orc Bolg (played by Conan Stevens) up into the rafters of the studio. And you know he’s this huge guy, like seven feet or something. All kinds of stuff was going on and these fans were like a wolf pack, howling “Du Bekar” and “For the King” and like that, especially targeting the orcs and anyone else they considered a dwarf threat. And they’re wicked fighters, anything goes, they’d throw some hot oil treatment or body butter on the floor as they ran and anyone chasing them [the "Thralls] went down to the concrete.”

“Of course all the dwarf cast was surrounded and protected by the “Thralls” McTavish went on, “Especially myself, Ken Stott (Balin) Aidan Turner (Kili) and Dean O’Gorman (Fili). True, a couple of fans had to be gently pried away from holding onto Aidan and Dean by their fellow “Thralls”. But as tough as Dwalin is, he’s not the kind of guy who is going to push off an admiring female that wants to give him a hug. It’s a way better feeling than having Mark Hadlow (Dori) hanging onto you, that’s for sure. Plus my daughter was having a wonderful time with these “Thralls” making a fuss over her. And Aidan and Dean seemed to be enjoying themselves – at least, they couldn’t stop laughing.”

“So”, McTavish continued, “Richard gets that the stunt guys are pretty traumatized at this point, being threatened with wicked looking hair tools and mysterious looking cosmetics – God knows what that glittery blue liquid was in the spray bottle,” McTavish continued, “He’s dressed as Thorin in this chain mail and leather, with this great big battle sword, and a bunch of these “Thralls” are just basically clearing a path for him – it was like watching the Red Sea part. And Richard climbs to the top of the Erebor set and he’s all bloody and sweaty and dirty and all that dark hair is coiling around his face and he raises his sword. And Richard’s got those intense blue eyes – the epic majesty thing going on, yah know - with the set lights glinting off the armor. Was absolutely stunning to see – and every single one of these “Thralls” just stopped in place and sighed. “Plus a lot of ‘em – the “Thralls”- had this fixed look in their eyes that was absolutely terrifying – well, they still weren’t blinking but all of a sudden it was like they were looking at puppies or kittens or a really good shoe sale.”

“The “Thralls” all bowed and sort of quietly assembled themselves, even helped some of the stunties up and patted them a bit before forming up”, explained McTavish, accepting a plate of Kobe beef and caviar from a buxom female with dangling earrings made of what appeared to be shark’s teeth. “So Richard comes down the set and just strides to the big back lot, and all these “Thralls” are quietly following him like this big sine wave undulating across the set. Course anyone trying to approach the “Thralls” at that point backed off pretty quick, they weren’t saying anything but you could see their eyes get a speculative look as they sized you up.”

“In the back lot Richard climbs up on these fake rocks they had back there, and by this time the sun is beginning to go down and you couldn’t have planned it better – I’m not even sure that Peter didn’t stage all of this to get more energy out of the guys [In a statement, Sir Peter Jackson vehemently denies this]. The breeze is tossing that mane of Thorin’s around, and his cloak is swirling about him, and the “golden hour” light from the sunset is sort of bronzing off his face and armor. I saw Peter surreptitiously getting 3 of the camera guys going. And then Richard starts to talk to them – I was too far away to hear most of what he was saying, but there’s that Shakespeare training for you and I caught bits of it. Whatever it was, it had the “Thralls” enthralled (hur, hur, hur – sorry about that, couldn’t resist).”

“Anyway Richard seemed to be thanking them for their loyal enthusiasm and getting them calmed – though every couple of minutes seems like one of the “Thralls” fainted. It looked really weird too, because the rest of them seemed to be absolutely mesmerized, so they just sort of propped up and fanned the “Thralls” that passed out. They would absolutely not leave while Richard was there. And a lot of them seemed to be quietly hyperventilating – I’ve never seen so many people breathing through paper bags. It looked like some infectious disease movie done on a budget.”

“So Peter finally comes up and joins Richard, and there’s some back and forth with the crowd. You could feel the tension draining – and then seems like everyone is smiling – I guess this where Peter offered to bring the “Thralls” on as extras (and not press charges) so they could continue protecting Thorin. Then this cheering started (the “Thralls that had passed out started to revive too) and kept on as the “Thralls” did the Red Sea parting thing again for Richard so he could get to wardrobe and out of costume. Which also left enough space to get the guys down who had climbed up into the studio rafters.”

McTavish sipped more ale and nibbled on a proffered French gourmet dark chocolate sea salt caramel as he continued. “I couldn’t talk to Richard much as he went by, what with all the “Thralls” waving weapons and yelling, but he looked at me and shrugged “It’s good to be king” and smiled a little bashfully (a "Thrall" passed right out at my feet at the sight and had to be bundled off someplace.)"

“Seems that the “Thralls” – any number of who have followed Richard’s career for years and appreciate his need for privacy – have some well-heeled friends among them, or friends of friends. So some of the “Thralls” – with Peter’s approval – whisked Richard away for some down time on the Seven Seas yacht, which is supposedly owned by Spielberg. Gotta admit some of us guys are feeling a little envious, but as hard as Richard has worked, and with that level of focus, he deserves some R & R. Besides he’s the only one that could have controlled these “Thralls”, really, even Big Paul [a film stand-in who is also a policeman] had just thrown in the towel.”

“And”, concluded McTavish thoughtfully as he watched a tanned woman sporting a belt of iron links carefully comb out the fur collar of his Dwalin costume and spritz it with linen freshener, “Except for those of us dwarves who have to explain all this to wives and/or girlfriends, we’re enjoying the attention being absolutely lavished on we dwarves by the “Thralls”. These “Thralls” come from all over the world with all kinds of skills, and so far we’ve been treated to gourmet meals, spa treatments, premium cocktails, all kinds of gifts – and I don’t even know what Aidan and Dean have been up to, but they can’t seem to stop smiling. Neither can the group of “Thralls” that seems to permanently surround them – something about “taking care of the Heirs of Durin”. Might make filming the upcoming Kili/Tauriel scene a tad awkward though.”

However, today it seems as though it is the calm before the storm as more clouds appear on the Hobbit set horizon. Throughout the town of Wellington and particularly on the Hobbit set, graffiti in multiple languages and also what appear to be runes has begun to appear “A Legend Born”, “Thorin Lives!”, “Fili and Kili Forever!”, and other messages apparently expressing overwhelming support for the royal (Heirs of Durin) dwarf characters (Thorin, Fili, and Kili). It is rumored that a shadowy splinter group of the “Thorin Thralls” is questioning Tolkien canon, and the Wellington police have already had to intervene in a number of incidents.

Even more alarming is the rumor that another international group of fans, the self-named Thranduil Thralls, have begun quietly arriving in New Zealand, with the single purpose of ensuring adequate screen time is devoted to their icon, an elegant but deadly Elven king played in the Hobbit movies by renowned actor Lee Pace.

“Well, overall, it’s good news and bad news”, stated Sir Peter Jackson. “On the one hand, there is no such thing as bad publicity, and it’s been fun watching stiff old Warner Brothers executives literally dance with glee, because they figure they couldn’t pay for this kind of publicity (and *cough* they are kind of tight with the purse strings anyway). Plus the New Zealand economy is booming as these “Thralls” buy up every hotel room, rental car, and commodity in the country. The Prime Minister actually called to thank me.”
“On the other hand – I hired the “Thorin Thralls” on as extras, with that impressive energy of theirs. It looks utterly spectacular on camera. Unfortunately employment gave the “Thorin Thralls” access to the WETA armory plus additional training. So now it’s best to be somewhat proactive, you know, if the “Thranduil Thralls” have really begun arriving here. Dwarves and elves, not necessarily the best mix.

“I’m trying to persuade the “Thorin Thralls” to give up the location of the Seven Seas, which is anchored in a hidden location off the coast, but as dwarves they are remaining stubbornly tight-lipped. The “Thorin Thralls” insist that they can quote “take care of any elves the way they took care of the orcs” and that “His Majesty needs his rest and will return when He feels like it”. I’ve brought Ken Stott in to reason with them and that’s looking hopeful. Meanwhile I’m in touch with Lee Pace’s agent and they are trying to track him down on location, as we assume as the character Thranduil will be able to control his “Thralls” with the same efficiency as Thorin.”

Peter Jackson suddenly gave a big grin. “But really, we never would have guessed that filming the Hobbit would be this much fun, and we may just let the chips fall where they may with the dwarves and elves. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about the shot” he twinkled. (Reuters)

(This post was edited by dernwyn on Feb 27 2014, 5:40pm)


Feb 24 2014, 12:32am

Post #2 of 8 (331 views)
I don't even know where to start [In reply to] Can't Post

That was...magnificent...stupendous...fantastic...hilarious! Thank you for your dedication to bringing us the important news stories of the day. Cool

"because at the end of the day, it all leads back to Thorin" I think that needs to become my footer. Laugh


Feb 24 2014, 1:23am

Post #3 of 8 (335 views)
Thank you! [In reply to] Can't Post

it's more fun than doing what I was supposed to be doingAngelic

And for sure these films always DO lead me back to Thorin, LOL, so happy I have a replay button on the remote. And the pause button, of course.Cool

Grey Havens

Feb 24 2014, 9:57pm

Post #4 of 8 (288 views)
That is just too great, [In reply to] Can't Post

and too funny for words. Thank you for the laughter!


Feb 25 2014, 3:17am

Post #5 of 8 (317 views)
Thunderous applause! [In reply to] Can't Post

What a terrific follow-up story, Avandel! I cackled like a madwoman (now I see how the process of thralldom begins!)
Loved that Thranduil now has his own thralls -- but I'm sure Ken Stott's Balin will be the perfect voice of reason if the two groups face off against each other.

And of course, the best part is Dwalin's own bevy of handmaidens, feeding him delicacies and combing his warg-pelt.
Now Dwalin can say, "I don't always indulge in Kobe beef and caviar, but when I do, I have it fed to me by buxom females wearing shark's-tooth earrings."
That smooth devil! He's got thralls too.

Forum Admin / Moderator

Feb 25 2014, 12:41pm

Post #6 of 8 (277 views)
A link to the original "article"... [In reply to] Can't Post

...here: http://newboards.theonering.net/...rum.cgi?post=717867;

Can't lose track of that one! Laugh

And now, everyone is wondering: what will happen when the Thranduil Thralls encounter the Thorin Thralls? Will a melee ensue, or will they band together to fight a common enemy - and who is that enemy? Shocked

And meanwhile, what is happening onboard the Seven Seas - or does what happen on that yacht, stay on that yacht?


(This is so much fun! Love Graham's "narration" and Sir Peter's reaction.)


"I desired dragons with a profound desire"


Feb 26 2014, 7:44pm

Post #7 of 8 (250 views)
what?! [In reply to] Can't Post

Ok, did this really happen or is this a joke?!?! LOL Smile Can't believe it!!! Crazy

Tol Eressea

Feb 26 2014, 9:25pm

Post #8 of 8 (281 views)
I'll just throw this into the mix [In reply to] Can't Post

In Reply To

And now, everyone is wondering: what will happen when the Thranduil Thralls encounter the Thorin Thralls? Will a melee ensue, or will they band together to fight a common enemy - and who is that enemy? Shocked

so that there will be a Battle of Three Armies.

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep.


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