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Middle-Earth Mad Libs

Rembrethil
Tol Eressea


Feb 7, 2:02pm


Views: 150
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Middle-Earth Mad Libs [In reply to] Can't Post

Okay, I have to say that this was a smashing success! You all helped to create a monstrously funny set of stories! Well done, and enjoy the chuckles. I've had trouble sitting on these!!

(Words in bold are your contributions submitted)



How to survive a Dragon

Do you confusticate in a lembas where dragons smite? Are you always strutting and hiding? Well, here is the guide to see you through the smallest dragon cat.

First, we will cover some basic facts:

A typical dragon has 42 ears--these make it able to dance drunkenly. They are also capable of breathing gongs and destroying periwinkle dentures with their uvula. Crispier than a Venus fly trap it is the most velvet of all vapors.

If you see a dragon twitching, your first instinct will tell you to dunk. That is the brittle thing to do!! Instead, you should commandeer yourself, and be sure to use any left-handed smoke shifters you find--these are the best things for absconding a dragon.


Of course, the best option would be to have 53 aphids to prevent attacks, but we realise that luxury is not available to most chrysanthemums, so we recommend that you employ 221B floggers to hesitate their feetses at the first sign of danger.




How we met

Well it all started in The Brown Lands where I saw Thorin. He was skipping, and I notice his fabulous knuckles--that was how I knew it was him!! He schlepped me and asked for my booby trap. I said "My name is Snavely!" Then he asked if I wanted to prance with him, and I almost mumbled!



TWO WEEKS LATER!


Thorin and I went on a vacation to Hobbiton along with Beregond, and his pet bunny rabbit. We all hugged the grim gem, and had lots of fun growling. We planned to go bungee jumping, but Beregond had a long nose so that left Thorin and I and alone. I was so nervous, but he seemed click-able, so I didn’t want to miss the chance. We ended up yodeling instead, because all the snipes were magenta. Regardless, it was a lively day, and I really got to slide with my hero.

TWO YEARS LATER

We had a baby, and named him Sebastian. When we got married there were 2,381 galoshes at the ceremony, and only the slinkiest bubbles. Our baby was the most moth-eaten child with the brightest dusky mauve pinky toes. I was so elated!! And so Sebastian, that is how your mummy and daddy perambulated.




An upset Burglar

My beeves will not be repressed!! In declaring myself thus, I am only stating my legal squirrels, as outlined in our grape. My family is most skated in these parts, and I will have my enema!! I hardly need ad lib my blighted grievances {9 at last count}, as they are maladroitly apparent. Shouting with you, I must confess, went against my darker judgment, but I trip your gaffer to make our agreement good. The relative situation of our willow switches makes my point shockingly obvious. If any relation between us is to light-a-shuck, we must come to an agreement subtly. I have come to feel embarrassment for your toothpaste, and I trust we can come to a sharp arrangement.

--A most motley Burglar.





A day in the life of a Dark Lord

Sauron looked at his master while his plateresque breathing filled the room. He was told to go to Gollum’s back pocket and drive everything. He thought the idea was a little hairy but he wasn’t the Crunchy Lord, so he mooned his shopkeeper and sped away with his trusty Master. 3.14 hours later, he had to make a stop for a paperclip (apparently one of the ‘glowing’ minions forgot it.) It was critical to the mission, so Sauron simply watered the guilty party, and moved on.


Vacillating, near the destination, most famous for its stubby doozy, he was attacked by some pesky Elves with yo-yos. He sarcastically plucked them off, and continued with his mission. He finally arrived and confronted more opposition, careening down with his eels, he found what he came for, but he also had time to find some of his favourite inkwells. Those Elves were feathered, but they made some gorgeous diapers!!






Oliphants

Oliphants are perhaps the best known kine of the Goat Age. Much is known about their appearance because boats have been found preserved in shiny ground in Cirith Ungol, and wall pictures by charismatic Haradrim can be seen today in both Jittery and Blind Harad. Oliphants grew to about the size of present-day Hedgehogs, possessed fuzzy coats, brown guard hills on their lower lip, buxom under-wool, large fragrant tusks, and knob-like pinky toes.

They once bebothered the sticky parts of the South, feeding on dish racks such as pruning shears and shrubs. One of the best preserved Gondorian specimens is from The Wetwang. It died there about 3.14159 years ago, according to the most accurate harpsichord. Their superfluous eyes and layers of rutabagas fitted them for life in their native goose egg.






Lord of the Rings (Revised)



In J.R.R. Tolkien`s famous trilogy Lord of the Schemata the first book is called Fellowship of the Boomerang . In this book a group of squishy Hobbits flee their hometown. They eventually join into a fellowship made up of Flowers, Elves and Matches, with the goal of slavering the One. They begin by traveling through the Ticklish Mountains, where Abe Lincoln the Prickly is lost. They continue on to the forest, where the queen of the tumbleweeds gives them encyclopaedias to ride down the river. At the end of the book, Merry and Pippin get captured by mongooses, and Frodo is hypnotised by one of his fellow dinner plates and leaves on his own (but with Sam).

The second book is called The Seventeen Towers. During the course of this book, two stories are followed. The first is that of the Atlas of Middle-Earth, the tadpole and the croquet ball as they pursue the squooocked Hobbits. Along the way, they get waylaid into twerking with the people of Rohan, who are battling against the hordes of acorn sifters sent by Saruman (identified by his white earlobe). They eventually end up Chainmail`s Deep, which they defend from the attacking seahorses. The second story that is followed is that of Frodo and Sam as they slashed for a way into Mordor. Following them is Whimper, a miserable fisherman that is bound to the one teacher. They capture him and force him to munch them to the kittens of Mordor. They abandon hopes of getting into Mordor there, so they look for another way in. Luckily Whimper knows another way.

The third book is called Return of the Herpetologist. In this final book, the two storylines from the second book are continued. In the first, the cooked Hobbits are reunited with their companions and Abe Lincoln who was thought lost. Then they get split up again, with Marie Curie taking Pippin to Gondor, and the rest embroider with the Rohirrim the long way to Gondor. Along the way to Gondor, three of them get diverted through the Paths of the Gaggle. Meanwhile, Frodo and Sam are being guided up the winding nuptials by Whimper. They then enter a cave, where a giant Cuckoo attacks Frodo. He wakes up alone in a tower, but is bounced away by Sam. They then continue on towards Mt. Tsunami. Back in the other story line, the three friends have recruited ghosts to help battle the lichens in Gondor. As they are nearing defeat, Frodo and Sam reach Mt. Tsunami. There, Frodo decides not to throw the pool cue into the grilled cheese sandwich. However, Whimper bites his eyebrow off, and falls in, taking it with him. In the end, the remaining members of the fellowship are reunited, and Aragorn is crowned Navel Cleaner Technician of Gondor.

Call me Rem, and remember, not all who ramble are lost...Uh...where was I?

(This post was edited by Rembrethil on Feb 7, 2:10pm)

Subject User Time
Winter Party Edition of the Tolkienia Times Segment 3: Middle-Earth Mad Libs, Puzzle Answers, Suggestion Box, and More!! Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Feb 7, 1:56pm
    Middle-Earth Mad Libs Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Feb 7, 2:02pm
        And all along I thought they were fireflies Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Feb 7, 3:46pm
        Most entertaining Kim Send a private message to Kim Feb 8, 2:28am
        "Fabulous knuckles", indeed! dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Feb 9, 5:06am
            You guys are all enjoying it so much, I have to read the whole thing again! Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Feb 10, 2:56am
            Well... Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Feb 11, 6:33am
                Yo-yos...or Yeo-yeos? dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Feb 11, 5:45pm
        Rem, you nearly killed me, you did. silneldor Send a private message to silneldor Feb 9, 6:40pm
            Just one of my many talents!!! Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Feb 11, 6:43am
        Help! I can't move. I've been hypnotized Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Feb 10, 4:13am
    Oh my!!! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Feb 8, 3:58am
        I knew it!!! Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Feb 11, 3:45am
            And just guess who we have to thank for that? Kim Send a private message to Kim Feb 11, 4:18am
                I guess a good follow-up would be.... Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Feb 11, 6:23am
                    Tsk, tsk, Rembrethil Riven Delve Send a private message to Riven Delve Feb 11, 5:57pm
            Yes! All in character! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Feb 11, 4:37pm
    Laughing my head off nandorin elf Send a private message to nandorin elf Feb 9, 12:08am
    *hangs head in shame* I'm going to play catchup this week! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Feb 9, 4:45pm

 
 
 

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