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Riven Delve
Tol Eressea
Feb 5 2014, 11:58am
Post #1 of 51
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It's a Desolation of Smaug PANTS thread!
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We're in the midst of an ice storm here, and since my kids are home from school making merry like a couple of Hobbit book Elves and I won't get any work done, I say let's have some fun! (As long as the power holds out, anyway...)
In case you're wondering, a pants thread is where we pick a line from the movie and substitute the word pants for a key noun, like so:His pants were running low when Girion made his last stand.
You might need to add a couple of lines for context:
I found something in the Goblin tunnels. Found what? What did you find? My pants. Good. You'll need them.
If you need some help with lines from the movie, check out this transcript kindly provided by a TORn member. (Sorry, can't remember who, but thank you!)
Here are a few more to start us out:
If you speak of this to anyone, I'll rip your pants off.
You would take nothing from me, Dwarf. I laid low your pants of old. I instilled terror in the trousers of men.
Have fun!
"I did shatter his lantern, and that would have been pretty fair shooting, I can tell you, if I had been aiming at it!"
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Mr. Arkenstone (isaac)
Tol Eressea
Feb 5 2014, 12:17pm
Post #2 of 51
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Thorin at Bree: Payment for what?
Gandalf: Your pants...someone wants you naked...
The flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true!
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DwellerInDale
Rohan
Feb 5 2014, 1:50pm
Post #3 of 51
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If your father has his way, we will do nothing.
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We will hide within our walls,
Live our lives away from the light,
And let our pants descend.
Don't mess with my favorite female elf.
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Feb 5 2014, 1:53pm
Post #4 of 51
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"It is memory, precious and pure. Like your pants."
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Thanks, Riven Delve, this is perfect for a snowy/icy day!
(Remember to keep responses to the subject line if possible, folks!  )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
(This post was edited by dernwyn on Feb 5 2014, 1:55pm)
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elf-lady
Rivendell
Feb 5 2014, 2:04pm
Post #5 of 51
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Ah I remember the wonderful "Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants".
How about:
Truly, the tales and songs fall utterly short of your pants, O Smaug the Stupendous
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Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea
Feb 5 2014, 2:16pm
Post #6 of 51
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Just to be clear for our non-American folks...
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Pants = Trousers, correct?  
Necromancer In the voice of Tim Gunn, Project Runway) : We grow in number. We grow in strength. You will lead my designers.
Azog: What of Oakenshield?
Necromancer: Fashion Week is coming.
Azog: You promised me his pants!
Necromancer: Skirts will come to all.
[The darkness disappears with a flourish.]
Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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Óintment
The Shire
Feb 5 2014, 2:22pm
Post #7 of 51
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Gandalf: its a balrog with the pants of morgoth, a demon of the ancient world
Pick up line: Are you an Ork, cause you make my sting Glow!
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DanielLB
Immortal
Feb 5 2014, 2:52pm
Post #8 of 51
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"The Lord of Silver Pants, the King of Carven Knickers, the King Beneath the Trousers, shall come into his own. And the jodhpurs shall ring in gladness, at the Trouser Legs return, But all shall fail in sadness, and the pants will shine and burn." /
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Elarie
Grey Havens
Feb 5 2014, 2:55pm
Post #9 of 51
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Thranduil: I offer you my pants
Thorin (slight smile): I am listening
……and later
Elf guard: Say what you like about our ill-tempered king, but he has excellent taste in pants. Come Elros, try them.
….and later still
Bard: I know where these pants came from.
Thorin: What of it?
Bard: I don't know what business you had with the elves, but I don't think it ended well.
oh dear, we've got six inches of snow with ice on top - this could go on all day 
(This post was edited by Elarie on Feb 5 2014, 2:59pm)
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Annatar598
Rohan
Feb 5 2014, 2:56pm
Post #10 of 51
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Beorn and his distaste for pants
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"These lands are crawling with Orcs, their numbers are growing and you are on foot. You will never reach the forest alive. I don't like dwarves, they're greedy and blind, blind to the lives of those they deem less than their own.
But pants I hate more."
Who can blame the guy?
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Annatar598
Rohan
Feb 5 2014, 2:59pm
Post #11 of 51
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Greenwood the Great and Bilbo the naive
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Gandalf: This is not the Greenwood of old, the very air of the forest is heavy with illusion that will seek to enter your pants and lead you astray.
Bilbo: Lead us astray? What does that mean?
Oh Bilbo :/
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Bumblingidiot
Rohan
Feb 5 2014, 3:05pm
Post #12 of 51
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And pants = underwear. Always has. Always will. As the Goblin King said: "I feel a thong coming on".
"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear."
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Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea
Feb 5 2014, 3:20pm
Post #13 of 51
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merely clarifying for the sake of the game and the PG nature of these boards.
Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Feb 5 2014, 3:25pm
Post #14 of 51
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Ack! The image of that!  LOL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Feb 5 2014, 3:28pm
Post #15 of 51
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!!!!!!!!!!!!Mods Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hahahahahahahahaha!
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Old Toby
Grey Havens
Feb 5 2014, 3:44pm
Post #16 of 51
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Thranduil: You have found a way in....
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You seek that which would bestow upon you the right to rule: the King's Trousers, the Arkenpants. It is precious to you beyond measure. I understand that. There are pants in the mountains that I too desire. White pants of pure cotton. I offer you my help.
"Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good." Harry Dresden (Jim Butcher)
(This post was edited by Old Toby on Feb 5 2014, 3:48pm)
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Darkstone
Immortal
Feb 5 2014, 3:59pm
Post #17 of 51
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"These are dark pants, Gandalf. Old, and full of..." /
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******************************************
May 1910: The Nine Kings assembled at Buckingham Palace for the funeral of Edward VII.
(From left to right, back row: Haakon VII of Norway, Ferdinand I of Bulgaria, Manuel II of Portugal, Wilhelm II of Germany, George I of Greece, and Albert I of Belgium. Front row: Alphonso XIII of Spain, George V of England, and Frederick VIII of Denmark.)
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Darkstone
Immortal
Feb 5 2014, 4:02pm
Post #18 of 51
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"It never ceases to amaze me, the pants of Hobbits.." /.
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******************************************
May 1910: The Nine Kings assembled at Buckingham Palace for the funeral of Edward VII.
(From left to right, back row: Haakon VII of Norway, Ferdinand I of Bulgaria, Manuel II of Portugal, Wilhelm II of Germany, George I of Greece, and Albert I of Belgium. Front row: Alphonso XIII of Spain, George V of England, and Frederick VIII of Denmark.)
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Riven Delve
Tol Eressea
Feb 5 2014, 4:06pm
Post #19 of 51
(3449 views)
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Gandalf: No matter what may come, stay in the pants!
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If you don't, you will never find them again...
"I did shatter his lantern, and that would have been pretty fair shooting, I can tell you, if I had been aiming at it!"
(This post was edited by Riven Delve on Feb 5 2014, 4:12pm)
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FaramirAndEowynMorningStar
Rohan
Feb 5 2014, 4:06pm
Post #20 of 51
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Two can play at this game! *chuckles wickedly*
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GANDALF: "And I would say the same to you. Take back your pants."
GANDALF: "One of them was carrying a message. It is Black Speech. Promise of Payment."
THORIN: "For what?"
GANDALF: "Your pants."
BILBO: "There is something else out there."
GANDALF: "What pants did it take? Like poka dots?"
BILBO: "Ye.... y-yes. But the spots were bigger, much bigger!"
(.....*standing twiddling thumbs* sorry Mister Gandalf...)
AZOG: [subtitle: "You promised me his pants!"]
OIN: "We've lost the pants!"
THORIN: "I would not trust Thranduil, the great king, to honor his word should the end of all days be upon us! You lack all underwear! I have seen the way you treat your pants...!
BARD: "You have no right, no right to own those pants."
THORIN: "I have the only right."
BILBO: "I merely wanted to gaze upon your pants, to see if they really were as great as the old tales say. I did not believe them."
SMAUG: "And do you now?!!!"
BILBO: "Truly, the tales and songs fall utterly short of your underwear, O Smaug the Stupendous."
Whoa, I think I overdid the game! I'm just gonna stop there.
 ..The Lord of Silver Fountains
.....The King of Carven Stone
..The King Under the Mountain
.......Shall come into his own
..And the bells will ring in gladness
......At the Mountain King's return
..But all shall fail in sadness
....And the lake will shine and burn
(This post was edited by FaramirAndEowynMorningStar on Feb 5 2014, 4:07pm)
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Darkstone
Immortal
Feb 5 2014, 4:06pm
Post #21 of 51
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"My teeth are swords! My claws are spears! My pants are a hurricane!" /
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******************************************
May 1910: The Nine Kings assembled at Buckingham Palace for the funeral of Edward VII.
(From left to right, back row: Haakon VII of Norway, Ferdinand I of Bulgaria, Manuel II of Portugal, Wilhelm II of Germany, George I of Greece, and Albert I of Belgium. Front row: Alphonso XIII of Spain, George V of England, and Frederick VIII of Denmark.)
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Bishop
Gondor
Feb 5 2014, 4:19pm
Post #22 of 51
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Bard: You
didn't see them, they were never here. The pants you can have for
nothing.
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Meneldor
Valinor
Feb 5 2014, 4:27pm
Post #24 of 51
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Gandalf, this not a nice place to wear pants!
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They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep.
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Eruvandi
Tol Eressea
Feb 5 2014, 4:54pm
Post #25 of 51
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Thorin: You lack all trousers!...I have seen how you treat your pants!
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We came to you once. Starving, pants-less, seeking your help. But you turned your back! You turned away from the suffering of my people, and the inferno that destroyed our pants!
"And we find what we're made of
Through the open door
Is it fear you're afraid of?
What are you waiting for?
Love alone is worth the fight."
-Switchfoot
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