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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Fan Art:
Dragon Clone War


Dec 13 2013, 1:06am

Views: 127
Dragon Clone War [In reply to] Can't Post

While Spying on Dol Guldur, Gandalf catches Saruman talking to his "master" Sauron over the palantir about the great army of cloned dragons he is spawning using Smaug.

Radagast (who's hat has now become intistinguishable from his hair or anything else on his head under the now engulfing pile of excrement on his face) almost bungles the entire mission, only managing to avoid ruining everything by stumbling over the side of a cliff suddenly in the dungeon vault and landing right on the dead body of thrain thereby obtaining the map and key for the mission (the entire while repeating the same speech impediments painstakingly consistently).

Bilbo uses the ring to get in touch with the force and master it as an unlikely jedi warrior (unheard of for his kind) and goes commando, single-handedly defeating the dragon clone army while managing to save his buddies the dwarves who happen to have tagged along in want of their share of the loot.

In a strange and arbitrary turn of events, he decides that he wants Tauriel (gold? what gold?) and in a bizarre love triangle between himself and Legolas, a war breaks out over her hand in marriage (which is betrothed in true love to the dwarf) in the middle of Laketown (which would otherwise care not for any of these concerns).

WAIT ... that was the two movie version ...

(This post was edited by Escapist on Dec 13 2013, 1:12am)

Subject User Time
Imagining funny fake spoilers for DOS guitarzankansasfan Send a private message to guitarzankansasfan Dec 13 2013, 12:52am
    Dragon Clone War Escapist Send a private message to Escapist Dec 13 2013, 1:06am
        *giggling uncontrollably*...Just to clarify, when you say Bilbo "goes commando"... Eruvandi Send a private message to Eruvandi Dec 13 2013, 3:13pm


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