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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories

Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Oct 27 2013, 9:12pm

Post #1 of 19 (284 views)
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

So why do the Dwarves keep their true names secret?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Kim
Valinor


Oct 27 2013, 9:13pm

Post #2 of 19 (144 views)
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They're all named Melvin // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Magpie
Immortal


Oct 27 2013, 9:33pm

Post #3 of 19 (142 views)
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They've all used them as their log-in passwords // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


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Rembrethil
Tol Eressea


Oct 27 2013, 9:39pm

Post #4 of 19 (167 views)
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Well......... [In reply to] Can't Post

You see that they can never tell a dwarf baby's sex easily. So in the end the naming process is a toss-up. How would you like to be a hardy male dwarf with sculpted features, fierce aspect, and be named....Clementine, Beulah, or Dagmar?

Call me Rem. Rembrethil is a lot to type!!


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Oct 28 2013, 12:58am

Post #5 of 19 (137 views)
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Habit. They do the same thing to their doors! [In reply to] Can't Post

Do you know how hard it was for me NOT to type hobbit instead of habit ;)

*hugs*



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Greenwood Hobbit
Gondor


Oct 28 2013, 12:59am

Post #6 of 19 (145 views)
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Sedimentary, my dear Watson - [In reply to] Can't Post

they're all named after rocks actually and no-one wants to own up to being called schist... or gneiss, for that matter.


Eye's on Guard
Lorien


Oct 28 2013, 1:49am

Post #7 of 19 (123 views)
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Contrary to popular belief, Google has been around since the First Age. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


zarabia
Tol Eressea


Oct 28 2013, 2:16am

Post #8 of 19 (117 views)
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LOL! These are all particularly good this time, everyone! :D // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 28 2013, 5:32am

Post #9 of 19 (118 views)
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Elves are notorious identity thieves. [In reply to] Can't Post

Look at that one Third Age elf who successfully impersonated the famous Glorfindel!

******************************************
Three meals for the Elven-kings high on the sky flet,
Three for the Dwarf-lords meat ripe off the bone,
Three for Mortal Men doomed to diet,
Seven for the Halflings of Hobbiton,
In the Land of the Shire where the taters fry.

Seven meals to rule them all,
Seven meals to find them,
Seven meals to bring them all
And at the Party bind them
In the Land of the Shire where the taters fry.


Kalimac
Bree


Oct 28 2013, 6:05am

Post #10 of 19 (112 views)
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They are sick and tired of getting spam emails [In reply to] Can't Post

 


sador
Half-elven


Oct 28 2013, 7:41am

Post #11 of 19 (131 views)
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Some things are best kept secret [In reply to] Can't Post

Which, no doubt, is the reason this thread is in Off-Topic rather than the usual place.


Kelvarhin
Half-elven


Oct 28 2013, 10:23am

Post #12 of 19 (122 views)
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That's what happens when you take on Dwarves in a drinking contest ;-D [In reply to] Can't Post

*runs away before Ataahua can hit me*
CoolEvilAngelic

Bag ENZ Home of the Hobbit *with thanks to cameragod ;D*


One by one they faded, and fell into shadow...

One book to rule them all
One book to find them
One book to bring them all
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In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play



L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens


Oct 28 2013, 1:33pm

Post #13 of 19 (115 views)
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They're not deliberately trying to keep them secret... [In reply to] Can't Post

It's just that when your true name is something like Akhzűlanzizizhűbzikhabzűr, you tend to leave it at home and use a nick instead.



What business does a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, and a hobbit have in the Rivenmark?


Otaku-sempai
Half-elven


Oct 28 2013, 1:53pm

Post #14 of 19 (100 views)
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Durin I had his bank account hacked after using his credit card at a Starbucks in Lothlorien [In reply to] Can't Post

Ever since, Dwarves have been afraid of identity theft and angry at Elves.

'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 28 2013, 5:35pm

Post #15 of 19 (86 views)
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To avoid a police record if they get caught being tossed. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Three meals for the Elven-kings high on the sky flet,
Three for the Dwarf-lords meat ripe off the bone,
Three for Mortal Men doomed to diet,
Seven for the Halflings of Hobbiton,
In the Land of the Shire where the taters fry.

Seven meals to rule them all,
Seven meals to find them,
Seven meals to bring them all
And at the Party bind them
In the Land of the Shire where the taters fry.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Oct 28 2013, 6:12pm

Post #16 of 19 (103 views)
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Oh sodding heck. [In reply to] Can't Post

Well spotted, sador!

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


star
Rivendell

Oct 30 2013, 5:06am

Post #17 of 19 (51 views)
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Secret Dwarves Business [In reply to] Can't Post

Because they are probably embarressed by their real names like Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful, Happy and Doc. Seven of them also do not want anyone to know they where in Snow White as they want to appear tuff not cute.

But there seems to be a pattern going on with Dwarves, they tend to change their names often. In the 1912 starting their careers in Snow White seven of them went by the names; Blick,Flick,Glick,Plick,Quick,Snick and Whick, in 1987 Snow White film they changed their names to; Biddy,Diddy,Fiddy,Giddy,Iddy,Kiddy,and Liddy. In 2001 Snow White they decided to go by the names of the days of the week; Monday to Sunday? and in 2012 Snow White and the Huntsmen they changed their names yet again to; Beith,Coll,Gort,Muir,Quert,Nion and Gus. In 1993 film one Dwarf went by the name of Thunderella which sounds alot like a female Dwarf. tTying to put the past behind them they have moved to Middle Earth and again changed names. As there are more then seven Dwarves in the Hobbit, I cannot begin to imagine what their real names are, going by the names that the seven came up with.

So from this I have come to the conclusion that they the Dwarves must be on the witness protection program, and this is why they have kept their true names secret Smile


sador
Half-elven


Oct 30 2013, 10:32am

Post #18 of 19 (37 views)
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Welcome to TORn! [In reply to] Can't Post

I hope you are enjoying the sillier parts of the boards. And I hope to see you on the other parts as well! Smile


star
Rivendell


Oct 30 2013, 11:53am

Post #19 of 19 (40 views)
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Silly Me [In reply to] Can't Post

Thank you,
Yes I am enjoying the sillier parts of the boards, I do see the funny side of everything in life, maybe a bit too much. I am very much into art especially botanical and horse portraits but I also enjoy cartooning and will post some cartoons sometime on the boards.Smile

 
 

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