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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main:
Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Oct 5 2013, 7:22pm

Post #1 of 26 (573 views)
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

Why do the Elves keep themselves apart from mortal races?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


DanielLB
Immortal


Oct 5 2013, 7:28pm

Post #2 of 26 (358 views)
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Two words: [In reply to] Can't Post

Miley Cyrus.

That's enough for the Elves to flee in horror.



Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 5 2013, 7:37pm

Post #3 of 26 (350 views)
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Elrond on 'twerking' [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
Miley Cyrus.

That's enough for the Elves to flee in horror.








A picture says a thousand words.

Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















Otaku-sempai
Half-elven


Oct 5 2013, 7:38pm

Post #4 of 26 (312 views)
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They don't want their thetans contaminated. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring


Eye's on Guard
Lorien


Oct 5 2013, 8:00pm

Post #5 of 26 (307 views)
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They're really embarrassed about the whole "tra-la-la-lally" thing. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Werde Spinner
Rohan


Oct 5 2013, 8:09pm

Post #6 of 26 (319 views)
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WIN! [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To

In Reply To
Miley Cyrus.

That's enough for the Elves to flee in horror.


Elrond on 'twerking'

A picture says a thousand words.



I can NOT improve on what has already been done here. *rolls on floor with helpless laughter at the appropriateness of the Elrond picture*

"I had forgotten that. It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels. The world is all grown strange. Elf and Dwarf in company walk in our daily fields; and folk speak with the Lady of the Wood and yet live; and the Sword comes back to war that was broken in the long ages ere the fathers of our fathers rode into the Mark! How shall a man judge what to do in such times?"

"As he ever has judged. Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."


Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 5 2013, 8:19pm

Post #7 of 26 (309 views)
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TY W-S!!!!! [In reply to] Can't Post

LaughLaughLaugh

Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















RosieBaggins
Rivendell


Oct 5 2013, 8:34pm

Post #8 of 26 (304 views)
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They owed the dwarves money. Mostly [In reply to] Can't Post

Also, they have a bit of a feud going on with the ents. They accidentally squashed Uindial the Unfortunate when he was stepped on by Treebeard, so they parted ways with the ents. Frootloop the Forgetful accidentally forgot Tom Bombadil's birthday, which Tom only confided to her. It was her brooch that Tom found in the barrows. So Tom withdrew away from all, thus Tom Bombadil was separated. Elvish necks were designed for looking up at the stars, and when forced to look down too long, they get intolerably sore, so hobbits were out as well. The men were just jerks, and they decided it might be for the best to go their separate ways.

My progress so far on my walk to Rivendell
I have traveled 71 miles
I have passed Buckleberry Ferry.
It is 2 miles to the next landmark.
I have 387 miles until I reach Rivendell.


Ethel Duath
Valinor


Oct 5 2013, 8:53pm

Post #9 of 26 (296 views)
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Too quick to the finish line, before the average human (not to mention dwarf) gets even a toe over the starting line. [In reply to] Can't Post

Angelic


DwellerInDale
Rohan


Oct 6 2013, 2:12am

Post #10 of 26 (297 views)
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It was the Santa Claus thing [In reply to] Can't Post

Every time they went out in public they were badgered by people with these stupid Christmas Lists, so they decided to just bag it and have no more contact with humans.

Don't mess with my favorite female elf.




cats16
Valinor


Oct 6 2013, 7:28am

Post #11 of 26 (253 views)
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They do not want to know what the fox says. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


noWizardme
Tol Eressea


Oct 6 2013, 8:22pm

Post #12 of 26 (233 views)
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Isn't Twerkin the embarrassing relative Thorin decided to leave behind?// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimė I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


noWizardme
Tol Eressea


Oct 6 2013, 8:27pm

Post #13 of 26 (229 views)
Shortcut
They heard the US gvmt had ground to a halt over "elfcare" and are afraid someone will be down on them to fund the US defecit// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimė I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


noWizardme
Tol Eressea


Oct 6 2013, 8:47pm

Post #14 of 26 (231 views)
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One does not simply Twerk into Mordor… [In reply to] Can't Post

You'd have to be Thicke to think so.
Mind you, even the Eye of Sauron might look away appalled, giving Frodo and Sam a better chance.

Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimė I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


Na Vedui
Rohan


Oct 6 2013, 9:24pm

Post #15 of 26 (253 views)
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For reasons of Elf and Safety// [In reply to] Can't Post



Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 7 2013, 1:11am

Post #16 of 26 (207 views)
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Appalled or transfixed? Not sure about Sauron's taste...// [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
You'd have to be Thicke to think so.
Mind you, even the Eye of Sauron might look away appalled, giving Frodo and Sam a better chance.


Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















grammaboodawg
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 1:41am

Post #17 of 26 (203 views)
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They can never get their jokes ;) // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



5th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - August 11, 2013
1st draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - August 11, 2013



sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 11:11pm

Post #18 of 26 (182 views)
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Too much danger of Dorwinion wine induced beer goggles. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.

******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.

(This post was edited by Darkstone on Oct 7 2013, 11:14pm)


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 11:15pm

Post #19 of 26 (177 views)
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Holding in their stomachs all the time was exhausting. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 11:23pm

Post #20 of 26 (187 views)
Shortcut
They didn't want to have to change all the historical references to "The Last Alliance". [In reply to] Can't Post

I mean, what if elves showed up to a battle like, say, at Helm's Deep? Then they'd have to change all the books and scrolls and songs to say "The Next-to-Last Alliance"!

******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.


CuriousG
Valinor


Oct 8 2013, 12:46am

Post #21 of 26 (167 views)
Shortcut
LOL!!! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 8 2013, 1:49am

Post #22 of 26 (163 views)
Shortcut
One in every family. Take Teleporno for example... // [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
Isn't Twerkin the embarrassing relative Thorin decided to leave behind?//


Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















Meneldor
Tol Eressea


Oct 8 2013, 3:26pm

Post #23 of 26 (158 views)
Shortcut
They only come out [In reply to] Can't Post

when they're having good hair days.


They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep.


sador
Half-elven


Oct 9 2013, 5:53am

Post #24 of 26 (142 views)
Shortcut
Why do you say so? [In reply to] Can't Post

They do like horses. Aren't horses mortal?
It's just the Yahoos they don't like - like good ol' Lemuel, once he made the comparison.


Tintallė
Gondor


Oct 9 2013, 4:56pm

Post #25 of 26 (128 views)
Shortcut
Hahaha! Brilliant! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

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