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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: The Arena:
Kili v. Legolas v. Bilbo v. Bard v. Thorin v. Thranduil: The Dating Game (Contestant: Tauriel)

Grey Havens

Oct 4 2013, 3:39am

Views: 781
Kili v. Legolas v. Bilbo v. Bard v. Thorin v. Thranduil: The Dating Game (Contestant: Tauriel) Can't Post

Thank you, good evening, much love to you all! In this special episode of the Dating Game our lovely contestant, whom we will introduce in a moment, will be faced with a choice among not only the usual three eligible bachelors, but six! What single female member of a race of Free Peoples out there wouldn't like to have that kind of problem?

So without further ado, let's introduce our bachelors.

Bachelor number 1 is a strapping, fun-loving Dwarf in his prime, handy with the bow as well as the sword but even handier with his winning smile. Also the nephew of the heir to the throne of the Kingdom Under the Mountain, meet Kili son of Dis!

Bachelor number 2 is a smoldering Elf with keen eyes and hordes of swooning fans. Talk about your sensitive and understanding guy, this one has a sixth sense for danger and likes to be on the move. Archer and knife-wielder extraordinaire, his moves have moves, with nary a strand of hair out of place in the process. The son of the king of the Mirkwood Realm of Elves, this is Legolas Greenleaf!

Bachelor number 3 knows how to party, even under the least expected occasions. He's got refined taste in fine foods and wines, cunning with the riddles, and knows his Old Toby from his Longbottom Leaf, but when push comes to shove, this Hobbit is ready to put aside the comforts of home and risk everything to aid his friends in need. A descendant of the orc-slaying, golf-inventing Bullroarer, he's Bilbo Baggins of the Shire!

Bachelor number 4 is so manly, he's the only actual Man participating in this episode. The direct descendant of the royal line from the old kingdom of Dale, he's grim, brawny, and ready to fight for what he protects, even against a seemingly invincible problem. But don't worry that he might be too rough and rugged--he's also a daddy of three darling children so you know he won't shy away from using the word "poopy". It's Bard the Bowman!

Bachelor number 5 is tall, dark, and handsome, except replace “tall” with brooding, charismatic, and majestic, with a resounding voice rich with gravitas. He may be between homes at the moment, but the drive and determination behind his eyes is palpable. The Dwarf who would be King, son of Thrain and grandson of Thror, introducing Thorin O-o-o-o-oakenshield!

Bachelor number 6 is the only participant in this episode who is an actual King, over an actual Kingdom. Don’t mistake him for a slouch—his Kingdom keeps constant vigilance due to the nasties that inhabit his woodland neighborhood, including a certain haunted tower nearby and tons of gigantic spiders. He keeps himself lithe and spry especially when riding his megaloceros into –or strategically away from--battle, this is Thranduil son of Thingol, King of the Mirkwood Realm of Elves!

Now, during these introductions we’ve been keeping our lovely contestant in a sound-proof room, I’d like to ask her to come out now. She’s a genuine Silvan Elf of the Mirkwood Realm, Chief Guard, her interests are archery, tree-climbing, and herbal medicine. Whether she might also be ready to take interest in Dwarves, Lake Men, or Shirefolk, or would prefer to remain within her Realm, yet remains to be seen, her name is TAURIEL! Daughter of the forest!

Now remember, Lady Tauriel, there are six Bachelors hidden behind the screen, each one vying for a date with you. You are going to ask them questions and then choose one. Please take a seat, relax, and do go ahead with your questions.

(TAURIEL then proceeds to ask each bachelor the following questions:)

1. Keeping our respective back-stories and (known) circumstances in mind, where would we go on our first date?
2. Compare me to three of your favorite things in Middle-earth.
3. If we were speed dating and you had 14 words to win me over, what would you say?
4. What would you like to tell me about the Bachelor with the number after yours (or about Bachelor number 1, if you’re Bachelor number 6)?
5. What do you consider the three things that are most worth fighting for?
6. (role-play for Tauriel, make up a question she might ask)

(To play this game, pick the Bachelor you would root for--or more than one Bachelor if you like--and role-play his answers to each of the questions, and then role-play for Tauriel, by choosing a Bachelor for her and say why him over the others.)

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.


Subject User Time
Kili v. Legolas v. Bilbo v. Bard v. Thorin v. Thranduil: The Dating Game (Contestant: Tauriel) Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Oct 4 2013, 3:39am
    Hmm.... Ziggy Stardust Send a private message to Ziggy Stardust Oct 5 2013, 12:13am
    Bilbo's answers Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Oct 5 2013, 8:30pm
    Bilbo Baggins, you're up! DanielLB Send a private message to DanielLB Oct 5 2013, 8:56pm
        LOLOLOL Bard'sBlackArrow Send a private message to Bard'sBlackArrow Dec 22 2013, 12:32am
    Oh fun!!! WHO will she pick...???? Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Oct 5 2013, 11:20pm
        "Woman down!" Kim Send a private message to Kim Oct 7 2013, 3:40am
            And me right next to you Kim! // Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Oct 8 2013, 12:45am
    Minor correction Fredeghar Wayfarer Send a private message to Fredeghar Wayfarer Oct 7 2013, 4:09am
        Right you are, thanks. // Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Oct 7 2013, 11:48am
    Thorin's answers Fredeghar Wayfarer Send a private message to Fredeghar Wayfarer Oct 7 2013, 4:34am
        Very nice! // Kim Send a private message to Kim Oct 7 2013, 6:13pm
    Tauriel: I'll start with Bachelor Number 3. Lissuin Send a private message to Lissuin Oct 10 2013, 8:48am
    bard takes his best shot Maciliel Send a private message to Maciliel Oct 17 2013, 4:27am


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