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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories

Superuser / Moderator

Aug 3 2013, 10:24pm

Post #1 of 20 (443 views)
Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

What was the real reason that the Avari elves chose to not leave Middle-earth for Valinor?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.

Ataahua's stories

Tol Eressea

Aug 4 2013, 12:46am

Post #2 of 20 (241 views)
They didn't want to miss a chance to land a movie role... [In reply to] Can't Post

...and they knew that no one would EVER gain the rights to film anything in Valinor.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.



Aug 4 2013, 4:10am

Post #3 of 20 (218 views)
It's such a pain to change your watch through all those time zones // [In reply to] Can't Post


4th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - May 1, 2013


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Aug 4 2013, 10:21am

Post #4 of 20 (211 views)
They didn't want to miss the 12th Doctor Who announcement! / [In reply to] Can't Post



Aug 4 2013, 11:30am

Post #5 of 20 (209 views)
They wanted to see if the rumours of Sentient Purses were true/ [In reply to] Can't Post

(I'm trying to fit in a reference evry day I post on TORn) Wink

The Talking Purse is Awesome, deal with it.

But he isn't quite as aweome as Cirdan.

L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens

Aug 4 2013, 12:02pm

Post #6 of 20 (227 views)
The Fox knows, but he's not telling.// [In reply to] Can't Post



Aug 4 2013, 12:58pm

Post #7 of 20 (212 views)
They had an aversion to swans... [In reply to] Can't Post

...those swan-ships freaked them out (hope I'm not misremembering my lore).

'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring

Tol Eressea

Aug 4 2013, 1:06pm

Post #8 of 20 (216 views)
They'd seen too many sci-if flicks [In reply to] Can't Post

Where the aliens abduct people, then brainwash them to come back with the news of a paradise waiting for them. Those probes are SO painful.(I can't remember the name of the movie, for the life of me! Sorry!)


Aug 4 2013, 6:03pm

Post #9 of 20 (212 views)
No tickets! [In reply to] Can't Post


Faithful servant yet master's bane,
Lightfoot's foal, swift Snowmane


Aug 4 2013, 8:17pm

Post #10 of 20 (196 views)
They had translated the rest of the Valar's book, "To Serve Elf". / [In reply to] Can't Post


The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”

(This post was edited by Darkstone on Aug 4 2013, 8:18pm)


Aug 4 2013, 8:26pm

Post #11 of 20 (181 views)
Chose? They drank too much, overslept, and missed the bus.// [In reply to] Can't Post



Aug 4 2013, 8:48pm

Post #12 of 20 (183 views)
Lol! [In reply to] Can't Post

Your comment is pretty ironic to me-my local bus service is apalling and they often rune late, if the Valar were reliant on an out sourced Bus Company it's little wonder the Elves took decades to cross to the sea.

Hmm...perhaps that's why Cirdan missed the sailing of the Lonely Isle back across the sea...too much cider and a late night on the Town in Eglarest left him with a muzzy head and a rapidly aging apperance...

The Talking Purse is Awesome, deal with it.

But he isn't quite as aweome as Cirdan.


Aug 4 2013, 9:01pm

Post #13 of 20 (205 views)
They were making good their escape [In reply to] Can't Post

into deep space and decided it was easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Tol Eressea

Aug 5 2013, 12:47pm

Post #14 of 20 (162 views)
One word: Maps by Legolas (TM) // [In reply to] Can't Post


Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


Aug 5 2013, 7:14pm

Post #15 of 20 (148 views)
No one had invented shoes yet, and it was a lonnngggggg walk. // [In reply to] Can't Post



Aug 5 2013, 7:36pm

Post #16 of 20 (151 views)
They were all posting on TORN and lost track of time. [In reply to] Can't Post

Hey, it happens to me often.

Before kids, exercising with LOTR meant listening to the soundtrack while I ran.

After kids, exercising with LOTR means having an all out dance party with the little ones to the "Break the Dam Release the River" disco mix form the Lego game.


Aug 6 2013, 11:58am

Post #17 of 20 (129 views)
They were inventing and playing video games - due to linguistic shift, "Avari" later became "Atari"... // [In reply to] Can't Post


Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimë I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


Aug 7 2013, 4:52pm

Post #18 of 20 (124 views)
The game was going into overtime. [In reply to] Can't Post

And they just couldn't pull themselves away from the TV.

"BOTH [political] extremes are dangerous. But more dangerous are team fanboys who think all the extremists are on the OTHER side." (CNN reader comment)

It is always those with the fewest sensible things to say who make the loudest noise in saying them. --Precious Ramotswe (Alexander McCall Smith)


Aug 8 2013, 6:02am

Post #19 of 20 (100 views)
legalized magic mushrooms by Radaghast [In reply to] Can't Post

which he kept in a talking purse and gave away for free

“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”


Aug 10 2013, 11:52pm

Post #20 of 20 (120 views)
possible answers [In reply to] Can't Post

They wanted to finally be the prettiest beings in all of Middle Earth.


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