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From the Depths of my Hard Drive: The Blair Bombadil Project

Inferno
Superuser / Moderator


Aug 1 2013, 4:45am


Views: 314
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From the Depths of my Hard Drive: The Blair Bombadil Project Can't Post

"There are stranger and sillier things than pants threads in the depths of my hard drive."

I occasionally dredge up some things that I saved or had been given over the early years of the tOR.N boards and post them out here for fresh perusal. So, this time I present:


THE BLAIR BOMBADIL PROJECT

by Gaffer


A year ago, four Hobbits went into the Old Forest in search of the legendary Blair Bombadil.
They never returned.
A year later, footage of their terrifying adventure was found...

(Scene: down at the Green Dragon. Gaffer Gamgee is holding out with the regulars)
Frodo: (mugging for the camera, and shoving a microphone in the Gaffer's face) So you've heard of the Blair Bombadil?
Gaffer: I tell 'ee, several years back, afore ye was born, a group of Hobbits went under the High Hedge. Said somethin' about findin' a missing character from some movie or other. Nobody never saw hide nor hair of 'em ever again.
Frodo: Does anybody know what happened to them?
Gaffer: Weeeell. There's them what says they just got lost in the woods. But there's them what says the Blair Bombadil got 'em.
Ted Sandyman: (Snort!!) I don't see no call in goin' and believin in things what ain't there. They was just lost, if'n they ever existed at all.
Gaffer: If'n they ever existed!? You go ask young Baldo Stinkweed ifn' his ole dad what disappeared never existed.
Ted Sandyman: Young Baldo's a bastard ifn' I ever seen one. Like as not, his ole dad disappeared over the hill and across the water afore he was ever born.
Gaffer: Eh? Perhaps. But there's them what claims they seen a freakishly hyper apparition in a blue jacket and yellow boots prancin' around like a madman and singin' heathen gibberish, right before they went in. They was never seen again.
Ted Sandyman: Aye. But there's them what claims they seen Elvis workin' behind the counter down at the Bywater too. That don't make it so.
Gaffer: (Getting up to go) Aww @#$% you Ted. And yer mammy too.

(Scene: The High Hedge, just outside the gate.)
Sam: You got the map, right Frodo?
Frodo: Don't worry I've got the $%&@ing map. The %*$&ing map is right here in my &$%&ing pocket okay. Just @#%$ing relax okay.
Sam: Alright all right. I just don't want to get lost on this stupid $#%&ing adventure of yours okay.
Frodo: Well just &$@& off okay. We aren't going to get @#$%ing lost, all right.
Sam: Whatever. I don't give a $#%&. Where the #$%# are our ponies Pippin?
Pippin: They're right over... well, wait a minute. They WERE right over there. Where the &%$# did our ponies go?! Frodo weren't you watching the #@&#ing ponies!!
Frodo: Hey! Merry was supposed to be watching the $%#&ing ponies. What the #%@! is the matter with you Merry, you @#@&!! Why weren't you watching the @$#&ing ponies!!
Merry: Let's just get the #@$% out of here. I'm @^%#ing hungry and I just want to get home and get a warm @*$&ing bath okay. Where's the #&$@ing gate?
Pippin: It's right the #@#$ over that way. Well @#$%. It WAS over that way. Frodo! Where's the #&^$ing GATE man!?
Sam: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! We're #@&$ing lost!! Frodo, I thought you were reading the *$&#ing map!!
Frodo: (lip trembling) It's okay...we're not...lost...it's just...OH #@!@!! We're &$#%ing lost!!! And where the @&$# are our Ponies!!
Merry: (running off into the woods) Ahhhhhhhh. HEEEEEELP!! Somebody $&#&$ing HELP US!!
Pippin: (Throwing his hat down) $%#%^! #^#%&! #%^@%! @%^#&*! #%@^#!
Blair Bombadil: Hey Blair Bombadil. Is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow...
(camera falls to the ground and malfunctions)



Inferno.

======================
Good night, tOR.Nados. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely delete you in the morning.
======================


(This post was edited by Inferno on Aug 1 2013, 4:45am)

Subject User Time
From the Depths of my Hard Drive: The Blair Bombadil Project Inferno Send a private message to Inferno Aug 1 2013, 4:45am
    Ha ha ha ha ha! :-DDD Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Aug 1 2013, 5:27pm
    Great. My favorite line - Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Aug 1 2013, 5:55pm
    Excellent! I especially like how you captured... Elwen Send a private message to Elwen Aug 1 2013, 6:29pm
        Not I. Inferno Send a private message to Inferno Aug 1 2013, 7:52pm
            Sorry. That's what happens.... Elwen Send a private message to Elwen Aug 1 2013, 7:59pm
    Very funny stuff! Soundchaser Send a private message to Soundchaser Aug 1 2013, 10:04pm
    Help us!!! Bwahahahaa!! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Aug 2 2013, 9:49am

 
 
 

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