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From the Depths of my Hard Drive: The Blair Bombadil Project

Superuser / Moderator

Aug 1 2013, 4:45am

Views: 319
From the Depths of my Hard Drive: The Blair Bombadil Project Can't Post

"There are stranger and sillier things than pants threads in the depths of my hard drive."

I occasionally dredge up some things that I saved or had been given over the early years of the tOR.N boards and post them out here for fresh perusal. So, this time I present:


by Gaffer

A year ago, four Hobbits went into the Old Forest in search of the legendary Blair Bombadil.
They never returned.
A year later, footage of their terrifying adventure was found...

(Scene: down at the Green Dragon. Gaffer Gamgee is holding out with the regulars)
Frodo: (mugging for the camera, and shoving a microphone in the Gaffer's face) So you've heard of the Blair Bombadil?
Gaffer: I tell 'ee, several years back, afore ye was born, a group of Hobbits went under the High Hedge. Said somethin' about findin' a missing character from some movie or other. Nobody never saw hide nor hair of 'em ever again.
Frodo: Does anybody know what happened to them?
Gaffer: Weeeell. There's them what says they just got lost in the woods. But there's them what says the Blair Bombadil got 'em.
Ted Sandyman: (Snort!!) I don't see no call in goin' and believin in things what ain't there. They was just lost, if'n they ever existed at all.
Gaffer: If'n they ever existed!? You go ask young Baldo Stinkweed ifn' his ole dad what disappeared never existed.
Ted Sandyman: Young Baldo's a bastard ifn' I ever seen one. Like as not, his ole dad disappeared over the hill and across the water afore he was ever born.
Gaffer: Eh? Perhaps. But there's them what claims they seen a freakishly hyper apparition in a blue jacket and yellow boots prancin' around like a madman and singin' heathen gibberish, right before they went in. They was never seen again.
Ted Sandyman: Aye. But there's them what claims they seen Elvis workin' behind the counter down at the Bywater too. That don't make it so.
Gaffer: (Getting up to go) Aww @#$% you Ted. And yer mammy too.

(Scene: The High Hedge, just outside the gate.)
Sam: You got the map, right Frodo?
Frodo: Don't worry I've got the $%&@ing map. The %*$&ing map is right here in my &$%&ing pocket okay. Just @#%$ing relax okay.
Sam: Alright all right. I just don't want to get lost on this stupid $#%&ing adventure of yours okay.
Frodo: Well just &$@& off okay. We aren't going to get @#$%ing lost, all right.
Sam: Whatever. I don't give a $#%&. Where the #$%# are our ponies Pippin?
Pippin: They're right over... well, wait a minute. They WERE right over there. Where the &%$# did our ponies go?! Frodo weren't you watching the #@&#ing ponies!!
Frodo: Hey! Merry was supposed to be watching the $%#&ing ponies. What the #%@! is the matter with you Merry, you @#@&!! Why weren't you watching the @$#&ing ponies!!
Merry: Let's just get the #@$% out of here. I'm @^%#ing hungry and I just want to get home and get a warm @*$&ing bath okay. Where's the #&$@ing gate?
Pippin: It's right the #@#$ over that way. Well @#$%. It WAS over that way. Frodo! Where's the #&^$ing GATE man!?
Sam: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! We're #@&$ing lost!! Frodo, I thought you were reading the *$&#ing map!!
Frodo: (lip trembling) It's okay...we're not...lost...it's just...OH #@!@!! We're &$#%ing lost!!! And where the @&$# are our Ponies!!
Merry: (running off into the woods) Ahhhhhhhh. HEEEEEELP!! Somebody $&#&$ing HELP US!!
Pippin: (Throwing his hat down) $%#%^! #^#%&! #%^@%! @%^#&*! #%@^#!
Blair Bombadil: Hey Blair Bombadil. Is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow...
(camera falls to the ground and malfunctions)


Good night, tOR.Nados. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely delete you in the morning.

(This post was edited by Inferno on Aug 1 2013, 4:45am)

Subject User Time
From the Depths of my Hard Drive: The Blair Bombadil Project Inferno Send a private message to Inferno Aug 1 2013, 4:45am
    Ha ha ha ha ha! :-DDD Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Aug 1 2013, 5:27pm
    Great. My favorite line - Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Aug 1 2013, 5:55pm
    Excellent! I especially like how you captured... Elwen Send a private message to Elwen Aug 1 2013, 6:29pm
        Not I. Inferno Send a private message to Inferno Aug 1 2013, 7:52pm
            Sorry. That's what happens.... Elwen Send a private message to Elwen Aug 1 2013, 7:59pm
    Very funny stuff! Soundchaser Send a private message to Soundchaser Aug 1 2013, 10:04pm
    Help us!!! Bwahahahaa!! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Aug 2 2013, 9:49am


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