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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Jul 7 2013, 12:22am

Post #1 of 44 (685 views)
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

In his younger years, why did Aragorn travel so widely under assumed names?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Werde Spinner
Rohan


Jul 7 2013, 12:28am

Post #2 of 44 (383 views)
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Agent Elrond was tracking him. [In reply to] Can't Post

Aragorn knew Elrond was trying to keep tabs on his potential son-in-law, so Aragorn kept trying to shake off his spies by traveling in far countries under different names. It didn't help that the IRS (Imladris Revenue Services) was also after him for various shenanigans.

"I had forgotten that. It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels. The world is all grown strange. Elf and Dwarf in company walk in our daily fields; and folk speak with the Lady of the Wood and yet live; and the Sword comes back to war that was broken in the long ages ere the fathers of our fathers rode into the Mark! How shall a man judge what to do in such times?"

"As he ever has judged. Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."


CuriousG
Valinor


Jul 7 2013, 2:45am

Post #3 of 44 (363 views)
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He was a whistle blower [In reply to] Can't Post

Having revealed that Gondor was tapping into the palantir conversations of its citizens, he was hounded into hiding, seeking asylum in eagle airports, among Far Easterlings, Southron Americans, everywhere.


Yngwulff
Gondor


Jul 7 2013, 3:35am

Post #4 of 44 (358 views)
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He knocked up too many elf maidens [In reply to] Can't Post

And refused to pay child support ...

“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”



DwellerInDale
Rohan


Jul 7 2013, 8:10am

Post #5 of 44 (357 views)
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"Aragorn" is yet another alias [In reply to] Can't Post

His real name was "Sue", which explains why he used so many aliases.



"Well my daddy left home when I was three,
And he didn't leave much for my Ma and me,
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.

I never blamed him 'cause he ran and hid,
But the meanest thing that he ever did,
Was before he left,
He went and named me Sue"

-- Johnny Cash / Shel Silverstein

Don't mess with my favorite female elf.




Lissuin
Tol Eressea


Jul 7 2013, 10:26am

Post #6 of 44 (377 views)
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You assume they were assumed names, but [In reply to] Can't Post

not unlike royal personages of modern times, this royal infant was, no doubt, saddled with multiple names. His full name and title at birth was

His Royal Highness The Prince Estel Aragorn Telcontar Elessar Thorongil Strider, The Dunadan.

He must have thought it simpler and less off-putting to use only one at a time. Not a terribly long name, really, when compared to

His Royal Highness The Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales and Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles, Prince and Great Steward of Scotland, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Extra Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Knight Grand Cross of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath, Member of the Order of Merit, Knight of the Order of Australia, Companion of the Queen's Service Order, Member of Her Majesty's Most Honourable Privy Council, Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty.

Wink


Elberbeth
Tol Eressea


Jul 7 2013, 3:14pm

Post #7 of 44 (341 views)
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"All his exes [In reply to] Can't Post

live in Texas" and were trying to track him down. (with apologies to George Strait)

"There are some things that it is better to begin than to refuse, even though the end may be dark."


Bombadil
Half-elven


Jul 7 2013, 7:59pm

Post #8 of 44 (324 views)
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Aragorn is an Anagram? [In reply to] Can't Post

for...

Always
Rules
Any
Girl
Anywhere
MiddelEarth
Allows him to..?


L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens


Jul 7 2013, 8:59pm

Post #9 of 44 (305 views)
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Legal trouble in Rivendell. How was he to know the age of consent there is 1300?// [In reply to] Can't Post

 




Otaku-sempai
Half-elven


Jul 7 2013, 11:25pm

Post #10 of 44 (292 views)
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That is not an anagram [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
for...

Always
Rules
Any
Girl
Anywhere
MiddelEarth
Allows him to..?



An anagram is made by transposing letters in a different order. I'm having trouble coming up with one for Aragorn. For King Elessar I get:

Resales king
Slink grease
Sealing skre

'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring


Ziggy Stardust
Gondor


Jul 8 2013, 1:34am

Post #11 of 44 (272 views)
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So as noto to be easily tracked by enemies. [In reply to] Can't Post

In one place he's Elessar, in another he's Strider, in another Dunadan. The enemies can't figure out it's all the same person.


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Jul 8 2013, 2:28am

Post #12 of 44 (268 views)
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Well... he had this bad habit of borrowing money... // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


4th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - May 1, 2013



sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 8 2013, 2:02pm

Post #13 of 44 (228 views)
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Identity theft. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins.


Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 8 2013, 2:12pm

Post #14 of 44 (229 views)
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He was in his Eurobeat phase. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins.


Elwen
Lorien


Jul 8 2013, 2:15pm

Post #15 of 44 (226 views)
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Kept landing on the TSA's "Do Not Fly" list/// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Before kids, exercising with LOTR meant listening to the soundtrack while I ran.

After kids, exercising with LOTR means having an all out dance party with the little ones to the "Break the Dam Release the River" disco mix form the Lego game.


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Jul 8 2013, 6:55pm

Post #16 of 44 (212 views)
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Well, that explains why the Eagles couldn't just fly the ring to Mordor! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Warning: the preceding message may contain satire, sarcasm, irony, puns, and other attempts at humor.
My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive


noWizardme
Tol Eressea


Jul 8 2013, 9:29pm

Post #17 of 44 (212 views)
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A post-modernist thing? [In reply to] Can't Post

He's the Thin White Dunedain

No, he's
Ziggy Starbrow

No, he's
Paladin Sane

…touring with The Spiders From Cirith Ungol, probably.

Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimë I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Jul 8 2013, 10:08pm

Post #18 of 44 (196 views)
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His agent had insisted he use pen names for his poetry // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Warning: the preceding message may contain satire, sarcasm, irony, puns, and other attempts at humor.
My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive


Rostron2
Gondor


Jul 8 2013, 10:45pm

Post #19 of 44 (208 views)
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Something about... [In reply to] Can't Post

He was using many names to make it seem like there were more Rangers than there actually were.


ryouko
Lorien

Jul 8 2013, 11:11pm

Post #20 of 44 (202 views)
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possible answers [In reply to] Can't Post

He had a LOT of overdue library books.


elaen32
Gondor


Jul 9 2013, 9:03am

Post #21 of 44 (186 views)
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In fact.... [In reply to] Can't Post

he really WAS the last of the Dunedain of the North! Halbarad was his imaginary friend


Coming soon!- The first TORn Amateur Symposium, starts Sunday 21st July in the Reading Room. Closing date for essay submission Sunday 14th July, but even if you don't submit, join us for some interesting discussion on some different and personal ways of looking at Tolkien's work



Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 9 2013, 3:00pm

Post #22 of 44 (160 views)
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Kept changing his IP and nick so he could troll Sauron on the palantir. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins.


NottaSackville
Tol Eressea

Jul 9 2013, 3:10pm

Post #23 of 44 (165 views)
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Roan rag? // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


(This post was edited by NottaSackville on Jul 9 2013, 3:10pm)


NottaSackville
Tol Eressea

Jul 9 2013, 3:11pm

Post #24 of 44 (160 views)
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Back then he was still named Trotter, which even he thought was embarrassing // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


CuriousG
Valinor


Jul 9 2013, 5:10pm

Post #25 of 44 (158 views)
Shortcut
It's funny how "Strider" works, but "Trotter" sounds ridiculous to me. (Not too far apart in meaning.) // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

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