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GAFFER'S DELIGHT (Rapper's Delight), an old-school rap parody about taters

Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jun 15 2013, 10:01pm


Views: 501
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GAFFER'S DELIGHT (Rapper's Delight), an old-school rap parody about taters [In reply to] Can't Post

Thanks all of the above for playing this game thread!

In appreciation for each that have posted, or each yet to post, here is a parody of a small part of
the Sugar Hill Gang's Rapper's Delight (long version)
, the 1979 hit that introduced rap and hip hop to radio listeners.

It was inspired by the theme of this thread. I call it Gaffer's Delight, taking direct inspiration from the following quote:

Quote


‘Po-ta-toes,’ said Sam. ‘The Gaffer’s Delight, and rare good ballast for an empty belly….’ (“Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit” The Two Towers)


I hope the parody will be read while listening to the track, feeling the groove of the funky bass line borrowed from Chic’s disco hit Good Times, and imagining the scent of Sam’s cooking over a camp fire out in the wilderness.

GAFFER'S DELIGHT

(rapped by Sam:)

I said a chip, chop, the chippie, the chippie,
To the chip chip chop, a-you don't stop
The cookin' for the Bag End Baggins say up chop the veggies
To the rhythm of the cookin' the meat.

now what you hear is not a test--i'm cookin' with the heat,
And me, the fire, and my pans are gonna try to help you eat.
See i am Gamgee, Sam, and I like to say hellos
To the Elves to the Ents, the Men and the Dwarves, and Hobbit-kind fellows.
But first I gotta Bag End the cookin’ to the cookin’,
Say up chop the veggies for the Bag End Baggins,
Let's chop. You don't stop,
Chop the veggie up upon the choppin' block,
Well so far you’ve tried my spuds but i brought proteins along.
So next in the pot goes coney meat,
Along with herbs and salt.

Check it out, its the p-o-t and the a-t-o,
And the rest is f-r-y,
Ya see i go by my Gaffer: pick the tater for the starch
And these reasons i'll tell ya why:
Ya see ya boil em through and mash em too,
And it stews up to a T,
It gives more delight than the turnip for the bite and it fills deliciously.
If I can, I try, find herbs nearby,
That definitely ain’t the wack,
If I can’t find none, at least there’s some lembas in my pack.
That Gollum fool will take a dip in a pool
For chasin’ fish with his hands,
I got a high place to be, from where I see
Oliphaunts from far off lands.
Here I'm cooking some coney meat, skinned and boned, more yummy
Than any Hobbit cook ever saw,
But I couldn't feed Gollum, or Stinker I call ‘im,
He prefers his critters raw. Everybody eat:
Po – tay- to –tay, now I’m gonna cook today ([Gollum:] Say what???)
Ya say I’m gonna tell Smeagol, go fetch some basil,
Sage, thyme, and leaves of bay.
Everybody eat:
Po-tay-to-tay, even the skin,
Say if that Gollum starts actin’ up, rope ‘im up again.
Gamgee, am I mellow?
It’s on you so what you gonna do.

Well it’s on n on, the Road goes on n on,
The dinner is served and the stew is done,
I say M-i-s, t-e-r, Fro with a d and o,
I say I stand by the bestest Hobbit of all,
I’m his gardener, call me Sammy yo! Well,
I follow him way ‘cross several maps
Down under mountain, past deadly traps,
He’s goin’ down in history
As the baddest hero there ever could be.
Now we’re feelin the highs and we’re feelin the lows,
The meal starts getting into our toes,
We start lickin’ our fingers, the juice from the meat,
And fillin’ with taters right down to the feet,
And the broth, we start feelin’ the heat,
I said broth, it’s savory-sweet.

Then ya throw your hands high in the air,
Ya eatin’ up the dinner, plant your derriere,
Ya eatin’ up the meat without a care,
With the chef Gamgee for the affair.
Now we’re not as tall as the rest of the gang,
But we cook up taters just the same.
I dig a little root, which come with eyes,
And I stew it with rabbit and more besides.

Singin’ on n n on the Road goes on n on
The dinner is served and the stew is done
Singin’ on n n on, goes ever on n on
Like a hot buttered a pop d pop da pop dibbie dibbie
Pop da pop pop ya don’t dare stop,
Come alive y’all, a-eat up what ya got.

I guess by now you can take a hunch
And find that we’re the babies of the bunch,
But that’s ok we still keep in stride,
Cause all I’m here to do is sate your appetite.
Singin’ on n n on the Road goes on n on,
The dinner is served and the stew is done,
Singin’ on n n on, goes ever on n on
Find a bone? y’all, throw it on the floor.
I’m gonna cook a hare, I’m gonna skin it bare,
I’m gonna feed him outta this atmosphere,
Cause he’s one of a kind and it’ll ease his mind,
I’ll cook a meal that leaves ‘em all behind.
I said 1-2-3-4, Mister Frodo, come have some more,
A-come alive, y’all a-eat-up what ya got,
Cause it’s guaranteed to fill ya up,
I said 1-2-3-4, tell me Mister Fro, what are you waitin’ for?

I said a chip, chop, the chippie to the chippie,
To chip chip chop, a-you don’t stop,
The cookin’ for the Bag End Baggins, say up chop the veggies
To the rhythm of the cookin’ the meat.

Skiddlee bebop, a we chop, a scoobie doo,
And guess what Ol’ Bilbo, we love you,
Cause ya rock and ya roll with so much soul,
You could rock till you’re eleventy-one years old.

I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast
But I serve hot coney meat on lembas toast
Eat it up yummy tater,
Yummy tater to the kitchen, for Baggins da cookin’
Of the meat, meat, its so unique,
Come on every Hobbit and take up your seat.

(break)

Chip, chop, the chippie, the chippie
To the chip chip chop, a you don’t stop.
Chop it up baby Baggins to the cookin’ for Bag End,
The cookin’ to the cookin’ the meat.

* * *

The song goes ever, ever “on n n on n on on n on”, but here is where the parody ends. If anyone would like to take a stab at finishing the parody to cover the rest of the song, please be my guest.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;

Subject User Time
New game: Finish the Taters Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Jun 10 2013, 3:25am
    <Thinks desperately about all the uses of potatoes> BoromirOfWinterfell Send a private message to BoromirOfWinterfell Jun 10 2013, 2:08pm
    Anything I would come up with would simply be a rip off of this Escapist Send a private message to Escapist Jun 10 2013, 2:13pm
    Lol! Aragalen the Green Send a private message to Aragalen the Green Jun 10 2013, 4:40pm
    Well Done! :D grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Jun 10 2013, 4:47pm
    Or if you're in a hurry Hamfast Gamgee Send a private message to Hamfast Gamgee Jun 10 2013, 11:12pm
    Umm...*scratches head* zarabia Send a private message to zarabia Jun 11 2013, 4:31am
    Hmmm.... Darkstone Send a private message to Darkstone Jun 11 2013, 4:40am
    Just a question: sador Send a private message to sador Jun 11 2013, 7:55am
        Probably because... dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Jun 11 2013, 10:16am
            Thank you! // sador Send a private message to sador Jun 11 2013, 10:17am
    Taters never last long in our house! Roheryn Send a private message to Roheryn Jun 11 2013, 10:19am
    Precious 'taters? dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Jun 11 2013, 10:28am
    Can we try it to a different song? DanielLB Send a private message to DanielLB Jun 11 2013, 10:56am
    My turn Lothwen Send a private message to Lothwen Jun 11 2013, 11:06am
    Seriously R-T, you write the best songs...// Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Jun 13 2013, 8:02pm
    The dormouse lifts its head slowly from the teapot.... dormouse Send a private message to dormouse Jun 14 2013, 2:50pm
    Well right off the top of my head... RangerLady23 Send a private message to RangerLady23 Jun 15 2013, 6:36pm
    GAFFER'S DELIGHT (Rapper's Delight), an old-school rap parody about taters Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Jun 15 2013, 10:01pm

 
 
 

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