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Anyone have any words of wisdom?
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Roheryn
Grey Havens

Jun 12 2013, 9:53am

Post #1 of 33 (357 views)
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Anyone have any words of wisdom? Can't Post

Well, general words of wisdom would be fine too, but here's what I'm wondering about.

Recently, I finished helping Eldarion (age 7) with his bath, making sure he'd washed and conditioned and rinsed and combed out his longish hair (sort of page-boy style, not even shoulder length). His best friend at school is a girl; he tends to play with the girls at school, rather than the boys (except for his younger brother). He does have some friends that are boys, he just doesn't seem to "get" them as well. We're quite happy he has good friends of any gender, as when he was younger he always seemed to operate on a different plane from every other kid. He's extremely bright, but when he was younger other kids his age never seemed to understand what he was doing (and they always apparently struck him as quite uninteresting). So, back to the bath: I reminded him that if he ever wants to get his hair cut short, he's welcome to do so. He replied saying that he'd love to have long hair that's gorgeous (his words, though I'd just been talking about a little boy I once knew with gorgeous long hair), and then said rather emphatically: "I don't want to be a boy!"

Now, I admit this rather took me aback. I'm openminded about things, and like to think I'm quite accepting of alternative lifestyles. I've had gay and lesbian friends that I've loved dearly; I haven't really known any transgender people in real life but I'd be happy to be close friends with them too. But I couldn't help hoping that that was simply a flippant comment of Eldarion's, with no particular lasting meaning. It's a tough road to head down, I think, for a young person, even if we're generally more accepting as a society nowadays than we were when, say, I was a kid. His happiness is what matters most to me, and I want him to be comfortable with whatever way he chooses or needs to live his life. Some part of me, however, feels it would be a lot tougher for him to be comfortably happy if he discovers he has gender identity issues.

Anyways, does anyone have any words of advice or suggestions? Do little boys routinely say such things and not really mean them? Is this a sure sign that one day he'll be considering gender reassignment surgery? Something in between? Are my concerns needless? This is one of those more complicated things I haven't yet run across in parenting books...



dik-dik
Lorien


Jun 12 2013, 10:45am

Post #2 of 33 (251 views)
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Hi Roheryn... [In reply to] Can't Post

... I wouldn't worry. 7 is a very tender age still, and both myself and others I remember thought and said the strangest things when we were first graders, back-then-firm beliefs we forgot about in a year or two. It is well possible that talk like that is no more than a temporary phase of fascination by the 'other' world, or a way to point out that your son doesn't identify with what is traditionally expected of boys (short hair, being best buddies with boys rather than girls, 'typical boy hobbies' and such).

best,
dik-dik

"A journalist once asked me what I would like my epitaph to be and I said I think I would like it to be 'He did very little harm'. And that's not easy. Most people seem to me to do a great deal of harm. If I could be remembered as having done very little, that would suit me." ~ Paul Eddington


entmaiden
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jun 12 2013, 2:17pm

Post #3 of 33 (216 views)
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When I was his age, I desperately wanted [In reply to] Can't Post

to be a boy. Most of my friends were boys (except my sisters and cousin who lived around the corner). I loved playing with both dolls and trucks and didn't like to wear dresses. That changed as I got older and I liked being a girl.

I think kids change and Eldarion might go through different phases of what he wants to be. It sounds like he's beginning to evaluate what he sees around him and is thinking more about how he fits in with the world. That's part of his growing up and he will try on different personas until he figures out what he really wants. I think the most important thing you and NZS can do is support him on the journey so he knows that you will both love him no matter what he decides. I have absolute confidence you will do that.

There might be some element of the grass being greener - everyone thinks that other people's lives are so much better. Of course, at some point, we all realize that's not true, but Eldarion's not there yet.


AlassŽa Eruvande
Valinor


Jun 12 2013, 2:30pm

Post #4 of 33 (227 views)
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Both my boys (ages 12 and 7) [In reply to] Can't Post

went through phases where they preferred playing with girls. I took it to mean they preferred quieter games to the rough housing that the other boys liked. Mr. Eruvande never played rough with them so they didn't like to play rough with other boys. The girls were the ones playing quietly, so that is who my boys played with. I have an adorable photo of The Little Goblin and his "best friend", a girl, at age 4 both wrapped up in a giant beach towel on splash day at preschool.

Also, The Little Goblin (the seven-year-old) has operated on a "different plane" too, than his peers. I think having an older brother who is five years older, and two grown ups in his immediate family circle, has caused his thinking, vocabulary, etc., to be a little more mature than some of his peers. I'll bet having two intelligent, professional parents has rubbed off on Eldarion, too. Smile

Maybe Eldarion just needs reassuring that being a boy does not mean always being rough; that you can be quiet and smart and have long hair all while being a perfectly good boy.

My kids say a lot of things they don't really mean. For example, they like to tell me I'm the worst mom in the world and they are running away. I just counter that I'm so sorry because I'm the only mom they've got, and they can't run away because I'm running away! TongueLaugh
Hang in there, Mama! Heart



I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!


silneldor
Half-elven


Jun 12 2013, 6:37pm

Post #5 of 33 (202 views)
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Well Ro.. [In reply to] Can't Post

I will try to add to this perspective. I as a young boy i also liked to play with girls. There was a large family down the street and teddy lived there and we played but i played mostly with his 3 sisters. I cannot explain the reason beyond the thought that i have a lot of yin in my psyche but i firmly know that my basic 'foundation' , if you will, is yang. I still liked to play with all my trucks in the dirt and ruffhouse although i never remembered doing so with girls.

My son is the same way pretty much. Just this weekend hung out with 3 girls who he has as basic friends and they all stayed the night even, together up at the pond. He does hang out with his track buddies as well now.

My son has always been a very gentle person. I remember one incident when my wife and i took him to a karate class at age 7-8 but he was frightened by the striking actions of the participants so we just left not doing any classes.

But that does not mean he cannot be a rough and tumble with anyone. We have rough and tumbled it all his life he and i . He is now as a young adult not intimidated by anyone either, as i found out. He is sure of himself. He surprized me one night when he came and told me he and 2 of his track teammates went to a 'questionable' party that night. There were three other kids from another town that kept taunting them. Finally my son turned around and one of them sucker punched him in the brow area not far from his temple having a large ring on his fist. It did leave quite a welt and a black eye in the end but my son's immediate response was to put a driving right to that bigger guys nose and finished with an uppercut to the chin that put him flat down out cold. That cooled those three kids off quickly being completely caught by surprize. My son and his friends intelligently just left that party right away. My son has no meanness, being very gentle with young kids,animals and even insects but has a strong sense of right and wrong. We talked that whole thing over.
So Ro, as the other responses alluded to, there is no firm knowing what the final psyche will be. I could suggest being playful(wrestling around) in a loving way. Just like any 'expression' of activity should be loving.

Our family has gay friends and relatives and they are highly respected too so that respect is part of out 'constitution' if you will.

''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III

Faerie contains many things besides elves and fays and besides dwarfs, witches, trolls, giants or dragons; it holds the seas, the sun, the moon, the sky; and the earth, and all things that are one in it: tree and bird, water and stone, wine and bread, and ourselves, mortal men, when we are enchanted."
ó J.R.R. Tolkien














Silverlode
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jun 12 2013, 7:03pm

Post #6 of 33 (188 views)
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I agree with others here [In reply to] Can't Post

Kids are constantly changing their perspective and making statements based on some train of thought their parents can't follow. I know I announced some pretty strange things to my parents as a kid and, like Entmaiden, I spent a large chunk of my childhood wanting to be a boy - not because of any real gender issues but because I liked what they liked and I thought they got to do all the fun stuff. Or, more accurately, I thought that they were expected to do the fun stuff, while I (as a girl), was expected to do all the stuff I didn't like. I wrestled with that all through my growing-up years but as I got older I realized that what I wanted wasn't to not be a girl, but to be accepted as the "un-average" girl/woman that I am. I still hate shopping and dressing up, love camping and the outdoors, don't wear makeup or dresses unless I really have to (like at weddings), and prefer a simpler, more straightforward style than many of my more "girly" friends (I don't classify feminine and girly as the same thing, btw. I've got a number of feminine qualities but I'm not very girly). I'm good at sewing ("girl" talent!) - and I'm a pretty good shot with a rifle ("guy" thing!) too! And on top of all that I have a personality style which is not only a minority overall, but far more common (and accepted) in men. But I came to terms with all that and decided to simply ignore a lot of the cultural expectations and try to be myself and do what I like. I'm guessing that a number of the fantasy/sci-fi loving ladies on this femine board can identify with this!

In my late teens and early 20s I founded and led a club for kids that did all the stuff I wanted to do as a kid - knot tying and firebuilding and camping skills and plant identification and how to use a map and compass. I could never find a club like that for girls when I was young but I desperately wanted one (and I wasn't the sort that would go demand to be let in to the Boy Scouts). Like Tolkien deciding that he was going to have to write the books he wanted to read, I decided I was going to have to create the thing I always wanted, so I did. I wrote the handbook as we went (still intend to finish it one of these days) and studied all kinds of stuff so I could pass it on. It started as a girls' club but we acquired a good number of their brothers along the way too and they all had a great time together - ages 8 to late teens all studying the same stuff at the same time. Take that, cultural conventions! Wink I still run into some of the kids, lots of whom are getting married and having kids of their own now, and they always tell me how much fun they had. And I did too!

It sounds from what you've said over the years about Eldarion that he's a sensitive and intelligent sort. That certainly doesn't mean he isn't masculine though many people expect guys to like football rather than poetry, for instance. But he may always run a little counter to culture and maybe the best thing you can do is give him plenty of examples of people who didn't fit society's mold but went on to do great things. Most great discoveries and advancements in science and art are made by breaking out of the status quo, after all. Find biographies or tell him stories of great historical and modern figures of intelligence, courage and character to give him heroes to look up to who aren't all sports players and media celebrities. If he feels free to follow and explore the things he likes, he'll learn to know himself all the better as he grows up and figures out what he really wants to be.

Silverlode

"Dark is the water of Kheled-z‚ram, and cold are the springs of Kibil-n‚la, and fair were the many-pillared halls of Khazad-dŻm in Elder Days before the fall of mighty kings beneath the stone."



(This post was edited by Silverlode on Jun 12 2013, 7:06pm)


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Jun 12 2013, 8:35pm

Post #7 of 33 (190 views)
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I have a question for parents: [In reply to] Can't Post

Do young children tend to see things in black and white - for instance, you're either a boy or a girl - or are they instinctively open to shades of grey?

I wonder if Eldarion thinks he has to be one or the other and isn't aware of the continuum of identity.

Regardless, Ro, the only advice I can give you is to take a deep breath and take each day as it comes. If, when he's older, Eldarion does doesn't identify with being a man, there is at least an established support network in NZ for trans-genders. (And then there's Georgina Beyer who became the first trans-gender Mayor and, I think, MP in the world - and NZ's far more tolerant now that it was when Georgina was making great strides in public life.)

Heart

(Also, if you ever want to find out more, one of these links should get you in touch with someone to talk to.)

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


(This post was edited by Ataahua on Jun 12 2013, 8:37pm)


elaen32
Gondor


Jun 12 2013, 10:16pm

Post #8 of 33 (160 views)
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Ah Ro, how tricky but... [In reply to] Can't Post

I really wouldn't worry too much- he is very young still and as the others have said, kids often say things at this age, without it implying anything in the longer term. I have seen a number of children make similar challenges and it is probably a way of trying to make sense of the world, striking out against the small conventions of their lives. Did you ask Eldarion why he doesn't want to be a boy? And if so, what was his reply? As the others have said, often quieter, brighter children do feel different from their peers in various ways. Boys generally do not settle to academic work and intellectual pursuits as early as girls. But, if a boy is very bright and interested in reading etc, while his peers are more into charging around and beating the !!!! out of each other in the playground, it is difficult, he will feel different and I guess that may result in him not feeling able to identify with "being a boy" at that stage of life. Later on, when the others catch up more and when they go on to High School etc, the gap will narrow and other boys may not appear so alien. For Eldarion, this may be more a case of him trying to assert his own identity as a person, rather than as a gender per se, eg " I don't want to be a boy if it means having to behave like them and not being able to do xyz. I want to do what I like doing" On the other hand, he may have been making the statement as a challenge to you, to test your reaction, or even to stop you insisting on him having his hair cut (I know you weren't doing that, but children, like adults, can take a suggestion as being an order). At seven, it is far too early to read much into his statement and certainly too early to determine whether he is likely to have issues with his sexuality or gender identity later. I am sure though, that what ever transpires, you and NZS will show him all the love, support and guidance he needs as he grows up.Smile

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"


Kassandros
Rohan


Jun 12 2013, 10:24pm

Post #9 of 33 (157 views)
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A bit of a tangent, maybe, [In reply to] Can't Post

People have said some important stuff, but something you said caught my attention:

"Some part of me, however, feels it would be a lot tougher for him to be comfortably happy if he discovers he has gender identity issues. "

I understand why you want him to have a comfortably happy life. And I think that's natural and a very positive thing. The world could use a lot more people focusing on trying to make their kids' lives more comfortably happy. This is more of a philosophical perspective point than a parenting point.

There is a lot more to life than being comfortably happy. A meaningful life, a fulfilled life, a life lived with honor. These are all more important than a comfortably happy life. And I don't think being transgendered, if that's what this turns out to be (and I agree with everyone else that there's no way to know right now), will impose on those things at all.



all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us...


Aunt Dora Baggins
Half-elven


Jun 12 2013, 11:07pm

Post #10 of 33 (157 views)
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Some thoughts, not necessarily wise. [In reply to] Can't Post

I've known a few transgender people, and they all said they knew from the age of two, and that it made them very unhappy to try to live in a gender that didn't fit for them. On the other hand, some kids enjoy the ways of the other gender without necessarily being really transgender. He could just enjoy all the fun things girls get to wear, or be trying on a role to see how it feels.

I think of Uncle Baggins, who is definitely a straight man, but who had a big sister and grew up playing with dolls and tea sets and girl stuff. Now at age 62 he likes his manly trains, but he also collects Barbie dolls and teapots and fairy figurines, and likes looking at fashion magazines.

I also think of a little boy who came folk dancing once wearing a princess dress and tiara and high heels, at age five. His mom just let him be who he wanted to be. Then when he started school, and had to deal with the other kids, it passed, and now he's an adult straight man.

On the other hand, I know a girl who was born a boy and at age 12 insisted on using the girl's bathroom at school. Her mom went to bat for her and now at 18 she's had gender reassignment surgery and seems to be quite happy.

My advice for now is to let him be who he wants to be as much as possible, and take it as it comes. If he really is transgender, he will be so much happier as a girl, even with all the struggles that go with it. And if he isn't, it will pass. It occurs to me that maybe he just likes long hair, especially after your story about the other boy with long hair, and at his age equates that with being a girl.

Big hugs to you for being such an advocate for his well-being.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



grammaboodawg
Immortal


Jun 13 2013, 12:04am

Post #11 of 33 (155 views)
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I still don't like to wear dresses ;) [In reply to] Can't Post

Even now, the only time I wear a dress to work is if I want to shake up my bosses and let them think I was interviewing ;) I avoid make-up, have little patience for my hair, and just had my chainsaw out hacking on the greenery last Sunday.

I was quite the tomboy and preferred the sports and action my boy-friends did. I really resented the biology that moved in on me as I matured. My best girl-friend thought she was a horse. Seriously... she ran, behaved and knew all about horses. She married and had 3 children.

My brother has 4 older sisters and is 9 years behind the youngest of the closely-born siblings. He was surround by females and didn't like to compete. There was always someone there to "tell him" this or that about every move he made. He finally dated and married at 44 years old and has always been one of the most level-headed, steady, funny, and powerfully family-oriented men I've ever known.

I'm going to pm you with some other thoughts, but I find that children will nest... or settle in what they're comfortable with. Right now your princeling relates to his girl-friends, and so he identifies with them. NZS and you are already so great at creating an imaginative, open, nurturing and discovery-based environment for your children... great soil for them to grow from... that you'll inherently know what to do for each of those delightful personalities.

No worries, m'dear... they will find their way; and or in some cases, in spite of us ;)

*hugs*



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RosieLass
Valinor


Jun 13 2013, 1:10am

Post #12 of 33 (146 views)
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I don't know about boys... [In reply to] Can't Post

But when I was his age and thereabouts, I didn't want to be a girl.

I think it's a stage most kids go through. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I'm also pretty sure (though I'm not a medical professional) that there would be certain physical manifestations (such as the presence of both kinds of genitalia) before he'd be a candidate for gender reassignment.

"BOTH [political] extremes are dangerous. But more dangerous are team fanboys who think all the extremists are on the OTHER side." (CNN reader comment)

It is always those with the fewest sensible things to say who make the loudest noise in saying them. --Precious Ramotswe (Alexander McCall Smith)


RosieLass
Valinor


Jun 13 2013, 1:15am

Post #13 of 33 (145 views)
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Oh, and I love long hair on men! [In reply to] Can't Post

Sensitive, gentle, intelligent boys grow into sensitive, gentle, intelligent men.

And the more of those there are in the world, the better!

"BOTH [political] extremes are dangerous. But more dangerous are team fanboys who think all the extremists are on the OTHER side." (CNN reader comment)

It is always those with the fewest sensible things to say who make the loudest noise in saying them. --Precious Ramotswe (Alexander McCall Smith)


Magpie
Immortal


Jun 13 2013, 4:12am

Post #14 of 33 (141 views)
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My son never said that... [In reply to] Can't Post

but he always wanted the pink umbrella and to wear fingernail polish when he was little. I let him buy anything he wanted and wear fingernail polish... but I told him other people might comment.

He didn't continue that as he grew. I'm still a bit unsure of his sexual preference. At the moment, I described as a seemingly comfortable bachelor. He's 30 and never been in a relationship.

At least when he was little, boys clothes (and umbrellas) were so fricking boring. No bright colors. I wouldn't want to wear navy blue and maroon all the time, either.

He liked some 'guy' things: Legos, for example. But he never liked sports or roughhousing. He liked reading. And I think he found it a bit hard to get along with a lot of the rough and tumble sort of guys as a kid. He had two girl friends as a young boy (until they moved away) and he always got on very well with adults and hangs out now with a lot of the people that were my peers as he grew up (as gamers - some gay - both of my sons do).

As a mother, I was always trying to be very aware of not presuming things so that my kids might not feel uncomfortable telling me things and I feel like a mother to all the kids that have such a rough time for lots of reasons growing up that make them feel like outsiders or different or weird. It's one of the reasons that gay rights has been such a big deal to me. I have quite a few gay and transgender friends who matter to me and about 1/3 of my block is gay couples. But it's the kids I worry about. I just want to clear their path of ugliness as they find their way in life.

I don't have any advice. I think your son has a good mom. That's a big deal.


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Magpie
Immortal


Jun 13 2013, 4:33am

Post #15 of 33 (139 views)
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RosieLass's postscript reminded me [In reply to] Can't Post

my oldest son has, for most of his life, has had long hair. He finally cut it when he was looking seriously for a career job but his new job is cool with casual clothes (like Sheldon-type tshirt casual) and long hair so he's growing it out again.

But he also has a full beard (which he's never really shaved) so he does look like a guy with his long hair. :-)

Interestingly, I just remembered a music for tots class I took him too when the class 'leader' called him 'her'. I corrected her saying, he's a boy... and she was genuinely shocked. I mean, she just kind of looked at him a long time as if she really couldn't believe it. He was three at the time and wearing boy clothes. But he had these huge brown eyes that people feel in love with so I chalked it up to that. It means nothing, really. But it just goes to show that gender is just not very cut and dried.

My coworker who is a transgender woman said her partner, who I believe is also a transgender woman, was not dismissed from jury duty due to having 'uncertain gender'. I scoffed and said, I have uncertain gender. I love being a woman and I even like to wear dresses and skirts. But you couldn't get high heels on me without tying me down first and I've probably worn make up 3 times in my life. And, for most of the time, I don't shave.

And I'm bossy.

I'm a woman... just not a girly-girl woman. I don't think I have many people in my social circle - gay, straight, or transgender - who seem like some sort of 'typical' male or female.

And I love long hair on men. My husband had long hair when I met him and Legolas's hair was half the reason I fell for him (and Orlando's was a bit longish at times, too).


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(This post was edited by Magpie on Jun 13 2013, 4:34am)


Elizabeth
Valinor


Jun 13 2013, 7:49am

Post #16 of 33 (135 views)
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My son Rick had shoulder-length hair at that age. [In reply to] Can't Post

He cut it when he was 12. It's a style thing.

Your kids are bound to be somewhat different because, frankly, you and NZS are exceptional people yourselves. For example, the kids are multilingual, which is probably unusual among their peers (not that I know that much about kids in NZ, I'm guessing), but will be an immense asset as they grow older.

And I didn't want to be a girl when I was growing up (as others in this thread have said). Maybe that was because expectations of girls were limiting then. Maybe nowadays expectations of boys are intimidating to a kid of a naturally gentle nature.

You can listen to what he has to say, and love him, and be supportive, and wait. He'll grow up as he will. It's the love and support along the way that's important.








(This post was edited by entmaiden on Jun 13 2013, 4:11pm)


Roheryn
Grey Havens

Jun 13 2013, 8:39am

Post #17 of 33 (134 views)
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To everyone... [In reply to] Can't Post

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and stories and words of wisdom. This place never ceases to amaze me, and I love how I can come here with questions like those and get such thoughtful and diverse responses.

I found it particularly interesting how many of the women who responded indicated that they were as kids, and still are, fairly non-traditional-girly. Seems quite a lot of us were, and still are, for lack of a better term, tomboys! I wonder if there's a connection between tomboyishness and being drawn to Tolkien?

For what it's worth, I may not have explicitly stated it, but I think long hair in boys and men is absolutely fine (as if there's really any doubt about my hair preferences, lol!).

I'm sure Eldarion's going to turn out fine, wherever his own pathways lead him. He's a sensitive and thoughtful soul, great with animals, very good with his little sister, loves oceans, dinosaurs, flowers and butterflies (but also trains and Legos!) and all things Tolkien, and will talk your ear off whether or not you give him the chance.


Starling
Half-elven


Jun 13 2013, 8:45am

Post #18 of 33 (128 views)
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Oh dear, Gramma, [In reply to] Can't Post

I just did one of my classic misreads: I really did read that your friend married a horse. Maybe she wouldn't have minded that as a possible option during her most horsey phase...
Laugh


Starling
Half-elven


Jun 13 2013, 8:56am

Post #19 of 33 (126 views)
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They are great responses, aren't they? [In reply to] Can't Post

I really enjoyed reading everyone's thoughtful contributions. And I strongly agree with what people are saying to you as a mother. You are so clearly going to support him in becoming who he is becoming, and really that's what it comes down to in the end - he will be nurtured, and loved, and cared for, and valued as a unique human being. I have no doubt that this will happen.

And I was also one of those non-traditional girls. I never wished to be a boy, but my interests were horses and other animals, trains, and building stuff. These days I only wear pink and listen to Taylor Swift. One of these sentences is not true.

But don't talk to me about boys and men with long hair, you've lost me there.Crazy


Annael
Half-elven


Jun 13 2013, 3:25pm

Post #20 of 33 (114 views)
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LOL! [In reply to] Can't Post


Quote
My best girl-friend thought she was a horse. Seriously...


My younger nephew went through a phase at about 7 where he would not answer to his name, only to "Superboy." He wore a towel/cape most of the time and leapt off things like he could fly. (Fortunately, nothing too high . . .)

When he was 9 I gave him a Starfleet uniform for Christmas. He wore it to school, to bed, everywhere else - I have pictures of him a year later in it, clearly now way too small for him. I think it finally rotted off.

The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives.

- James Hillman, Healing Fiction

* * * * * * * * * *

NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967


entmaiden
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jun 13 2013, 4:15pm

Post #21 of 33 (112 views)
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Your husband told me the cutest story about Eldarion [In reply to] Can't Post

One Sunday, NZS took the children to church, and NZ Toddler was being particularly wiggly. NZS was struggling with hands, diaper bags, sippy cups and all the stuff you need to take to church with three little ones. At the end of the service, unprompted and without saying anything, Eldarion picked up the diaper bag and whatever else he could carry, so he could help his dad get everyone home. He's just the best.HeartHeartHeart


AlassŽa Eruvande
Valinor


Jun 13 2013, 4:18pm

Post #22 of 33 (111 views)
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HA! [In reply to] Can't Post

The Little Goblin insisted on being called "Jerry" when he was around 2. We don't know any Jerrys, only the mouse from "Tom and Jerry", so I'm not sure where that came from. We got him to compromise by naming his teddy bear, "Jerry". Laugh But he went around for about six months introducing himself as "Jerry". CrazyLaugh



I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!


Aunt Dora Baggins
Half-elven


Jun 13 2013, 11:07pm

Post #23 of 33 (97 views)
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Just a detail. [In reply to] Can't Post

I know for a fact that a person doesn't have to be intersex (having physical manifestations of both sexes) to be a candidate for gender reassignment surgery. But if they are not, they do have to be an adult. And there's a fair amount of controversy about doing it on intersex kids. It's one of the many things I've learned at PFLAG meetings (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), where I've met several transgender people and one intersex person.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Annael
Half-elven


Jun 13 2013, 11:51pm

Post #24 of 33 (89 views)
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my favorite name story [In reply to] Can't Post

Friend of mine was one of three boys. His next younger brother was named James, but the family all called him "Sandy" because of his red hair. Well, on the first day of kindergarten it was made apparent to him that "Sandy" is a "girl's name." So, he came home and announced that from now on he wanted to be called James. Fine, said the family, and he was James from then on.

The youngest brother heard all this and interpreted it his own way. He had a year to plan. The next year, he came home from his first day of kindergarten and announced that he did not want to be "Bruce" any more; he wanted to be called "Commander Cody."

The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives.

- James Hillman, Healing Fiction

* * * * * * * * * *

NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Jun 14 2013, 12:12am

Post #25 of 33 (86 views)
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Love it! [In reply to] Can't Post

Kids' brains work in unique ways. Laugh

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories

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