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"The Lamentations of Smaug" or "Draconian Rhapsody"


May 6 2013, 3:55pm

Post #1 of 13 (174 views)
"The Lamentations of Smaug" or "Draconian Rhapsody" Can't Post

After reading in OT about various singing in the shower moments, I was "inspired" to write a musical number for Smaug. Of course it is to be sung to the tune and rhythm of "Bohemian Rhapsody" and needs to have that semi-operatic feel (ha, ha!Crazy) Of course, it's not exactly canon but... One more thing- Smaug knows his evil"parent, Morgoth as "Mormor"- just to explain!

Smaug at Lake Town: Mormor! Just killed a town!
Swooped swiftly overhead
Exhaled fire, and now they're dead
Mormor! My fun had just begun!
But now I've gone and blown it all away!
Mormor! Ooooh!
Didn't mean to make them cry
But I'll be back again this time tomorrow
To carry on, carry on
Coz it doesn't really matter

Smaug at Erebor: Too late, their time has come
I'll send fireballs down their mine
Fry the dwarves of Durin's line!
Goodbye, Thror & Thorin
You've got to go
Gotta leave your gold behind
And face the truth
Mormor! Ooooh!
Your dwarves are gonna die
And you'll wish you had never been born at all!

(Cue guitar riff played by axe man Dwalin)

60 years later

Smaug: I see a little silhoutto of a dwarf

Dwarves in distance: Du bekar! Du bekar!

Smaug: OMG! Here comes Thorin!
Flashing sword like lightening!
Very very frightening me!

Fangirls: Majestic hair aaah!!

Smaug: I'm just a poor Smaug
Nobody loves me

Cowardly Elves: He's just a poor Smaug
He's got no family
Run for your lives
From this monstrosity!

Smaug Easy now, easy now
Will you let me go?
Dwarves and Men This dragon!
No! We will not let him go!
Elves Let him go!

etc etc.....
All Will not let him go! Will not let him go!
No! No! No! No! No!

Smaug Oh MormorMio! Mormormio!
Mormormio let me go!
Iluvatar has a dark void put aside for me, for me, for me! (piercing shriek)


Thorin So you thought you could rob us and spit in our eye!
So you thought you could fry us and leave us to die!
Oh, dragon, can't to this to us, dragon!
You gotta get out, you gotta get right out of here now!!

Cue more guitar riffs

Smaug Gold don't really matter
Anyone can see
Gold don't really matter
Gold don't really matter to me......

With huge apologies to Queen and Tolkien!!!BlushUnsure

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"


May 6 2013, 4:41pm

Post #2 of 13 (95 views)
Love it Elaen! [In reply to] Can't Post

Especially Dwalin as the riffing ax-dwarf...nice!

Manwe, when asked a simple "Yes" or "No" question, contemplated, and responded "the middle one."


May 6 2013, 6:11pm

Post #3 of 13 (91 views)
So good! Thumbs up! [In reply to] Can't Post

Now I'm going to have it stuck in my head for the rest of the day!Laugh


May 6 2013, 7:56pm

Post #4 of 13 (82 views)
Thanks Brethil [In reply to] Can't Post

I did toy with having Thorin play the riff, since his hair bears more than a passing resemblance to that of Brian May- though Thorin's is nicer, but I felt that Dwalin was the man/dwarf for the job really!
I see that I've made an error- the first verse should be "Smaug in Dale" - not Lake Town. Also missed out a line before "Majestic Hair aaaah!" but no matter.

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"


May 6 2013, 8:00pm

Post #5 of 13 (82 views)
Thanks Luinnar [In reply to] Can't Post

Sorry if this now annoys you going round your head!. I scribbled this down last night and went round all day with the "Dubekar, OMG here comes Thorin" bit going round in my head- partly, I think, because that's the part of the original that I always remember first

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"

Tol Eressea

May 6 2013, 11:04pm

Post #6 of 13 (73 views)
"Mormor" in Swedish means mother's mother, ie grandma. [In reply to] Can't Post

Could this be his old grey granny?

or maybe this?Laugh

Just a gender change and we could sing, "Mormor mia! Mormor mia!"

Tack, elaen. That, I have to admit, was very fun to sing - hair tossing and all.

Ziggy Stardust

May 7 2013, 12:21am

Post #7 of 13 (61 views)
I liked it! [In reply to] Can't Post

It's gonna be stuck in my head now.


May 7 2013, 12:24am

Post #8 of 13 (65 views)
*applause* I sat here and sang the whole thing! [In reply to] Can't Post

I think I threw my neck out with the head-banging... but ya GOTTA HEAD BANG! Especially if Dwalin's anywhere around ;)

Well Done!! *high five* That was fun!

4th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - May 1, 2013


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


May 7 2013, 10:30am

Post #9 of 13 (54 views)
Oh dear Gramma... [In reply to] Can't Post

I hope your neck is OK- don't want to be resonsible for any injuries!FrownCrazy Glad you enjoyed it though!Laugh

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"

Riven Delve
Tol Eressea

May 7 2013, 11:51am

Post #10 of 13 (52 views)
Great stuff! [In reply to] Can't Post

If this is ever performed live, I humbly request to be in the Fangirl chorus. I can swoon if necessary. Wink

"I left the night, with its remote and singing stars, and came in, to the glow of the fire, and the chair where he had been sitting, and the unstrung harp." --The Last Enchantment


May 7 2013, 11:44pm

Post #11 of 13 (44 views)
Very clever! // [In reply to] Can't Post


'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring

Tol Eressea

May 15 2013, 12:36pm

Post #12 of 13 (27 views)
My friend, you apologize to no one! Awesomely done. // [In reply to] Can't Post


Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


May 15 2013, 1:08pm

Post #13 of 13 (28 views)
Thanks NS!// [In reply to] Can't Post


"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"


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