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Scenes From The Hat

Alassa Eruvande
Valinor


Apr 4 2013, 6:56pm

Post #1 of 24 (756 views)
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Scenes From The Hat Can't Post

Greetings and salivations, my dear TORnadoes, and welcome to another edition of Scenes From The Hat. I am your lovely and talented Mistress of the Hat. Today's game is inspired by everyone's favorite sling-supported mini-orc.

What are some of the messages that the goblin scribe has had to scribble?


For those new to the game, the object is to give the most ridiculous, improbable, pun-inducing, groan-inducing, all-of-the-above response to the question. PM me with your fabulous ideas for a future SFTH.



I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!


Elwen
Lorien


Apr 4 2013, 7:08pm

Post #2 of 24 (553 views)
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All work and no play makes Scriby a dull orc.// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Before kids, exercising with LOTR meant listening to the soundtrack while I ran.

After kids, exercising with LOTR means having an all out dance party with the little ones to the "Break the Dam Release the River" disco mix form the Lego game.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Apr 4 2013, 7:32pm

Post #3 of 24 (529 views)
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No one is to look at His Lordship directly in the goiter. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Saurons master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


NottaSackville
Tol Eressea

Apr 4 2013, 7:35pm

Post #4 of 24 (529 views)
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ToDo: Have someone empty my bag // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


DanielLB
Immortal


Apr 4 2013, 8:03pm

Post #5 of 24 (541 views)
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He mainly writes the Goblin King's shopping list: [In reply to] Can't Post

16 Extra Soft Toilet roles to prevent a burning butt
Vitamin supplements for goiter
Floss picks
2 x Hair growth shampoo
1 Back scratcher
24 pack of heartburn & indigestion tablets
Raw meat
A cattle prod to prevent riots
Drool remover
15 body bags (13 Dwarf size, 1 Hobbit size, and 1 Wizard size)


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Apr 4 2013, 8:08pm

Post #6 of 24 (523 views)
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ha! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Warning: the preceding message may contain satire, sarcasm, irony, puns, and other attempts at humor.
My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive


Nomad
Forum Admin


Apr 4 2013, 8:15pm

Post #7 of 24 (522 views)
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I bet he penned a lovely eulogy// [In reply to] Can't Post

 





elaen32
Gondor

Apr 4 2013, 9:02pm

Post #8 of 24 (527 views)
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Mini goblin [In reply to] Can't Post

"You want me to test this zip wire for the new Middle Earth theme park, your Grotesqueness?"

PS- love that on the link you posted it states that this goblin is an offspring of the GG by a relationship he'd rather forget!!Unsure I'd rather not consider that further LOL!

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Apr 4 2013, 9:26pm

Post #9 of 24 (511 views)
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He was often set to work making "Kick Me" signs for the king's prisoners // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Warning: the preceding message may contain satire, sarcasm, irony, puns, and other attempts at humor.
My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive


Brethil
Half-elven


Apr 4 2013, 11:20pm

Post #10 of 24 (510 views)
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OrcMart list: Guano dip, Cool Ranch Bat Wings, Valtrex, Proactive (Gallon jug)... [In reply to] Can't Post

What a gross little guy!

Hell hath no fury like a Dragon who is missing a cup.


Loresilme
Valinor


Apr 4 2013, 11:25pm

Post #11 of 24 (502 views)
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"Ding dong the Goblin's dead" // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Loresilme
Valinor


Apr 4 2013, 11:28pm

Post #12 of 24 (499 views)
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To Do: Send resume to Azog // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Riven Delve
Tol Eressea


Apr 4 2013, 11:39pm

Post #13 of 24 (495 views)
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Haha! :D // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


"I left the night, with its remote and singing stars, and came in, to the glow of the fire, and the chair where he had been sitting, and the unstrung harp." --The Last Enchantment


Riven Delve
Tol Eressea


Apr 4 2013, 11:51pm

Post #14 of 24 (511 views)
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"Dear Diary: I saw the most majestic hair today! I think I am in love!" [In reply to] Can't Post

"But alas, it can never be! The beautiful locks have escaped, and all my dreams with them!!"


Laugh


"I left the night, with its remote and singing stars, and came in, to the glow of the fire, and the chair where he had been sitting, and the unstrung harp." --The Last Enchantment


silneldor
Half-elven


Apr 4 2013, 11:52pm

Post #15 of 24 (487 views)
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Daily laundry list of one item\\ [In reply to] Can't Post

 

''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III

Faerie contains many things besides elves and fays and besides dwarfs, witches, trolls, giants or dragons; it holds the seas, the sun, the moon, the sky; and the earth, and all things that are one in it: tree and bird, water and stone, wine and bread, and ourselves, mortal men, when we are enchanted."
J.R.R. Tolkien

May the grace of Manw let us soar with eagle's wings!

In the air, among the clouds in the sky
Here is where the birds of Manwe fly
Looking at the land, and the water that flows
The true beauty of earth shows
With the stars of Varda lighting my way
In all the realms this is where I stay
In the realm of Manw Slimo













batik
Tol Eressea


Apr 4 2013, 11:57pm

Post #16 of 24 (486 views)
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Order takeout from Denny's: Bilbo's Berry Smooth.....eeeeeeeee!!// [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Riven Delve
Tol Eressea


Apr 5 2013, 1:52am

Post #17 of 24 (499 views)
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"Dear Mom, Remember how you said this job would be just as good as the one Cousin Salacious Crumb got with Jabba the Hutt?" [In reply to] Can't Post

"They had more in common than you thought. Pls convert your new sewing room back into my bedroom. Taking the next zipline home.
Love,
your little
Scribbles."


"I left the night, with its remote and singing stars, and came in, to the glow of the fire, and the chair where he had been sitting, and the unstrung harp." --The Last Enchantment


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Apr 5 2013, 9:09am

Post #18 of 24 (465 views)
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Scribe takes up sketching and tries to remake himself with feet and legs // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


3rd draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - updated for DVD release!!!



sample

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Delrond
Rohan


Apr 5 2013, 12:03pm

Post #19 of 24 (464 views)
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You never close your eyes any more when I kiss your lips.// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.


Maciliel
Valinor


Apr 5 2013, 12:27pm

Post #20 of 24 (468 views)
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"notes for the team" [In reply to] Can't Post

"notes for the entire production team:

scriptwriters: insert a nemesis plotline around azog. give radagast a stick insect and a bunny sled.

fx team: i want more orcs. orcs, orcs, orcs. lots of fast-cutting motion. i want the audience to get physically ill.

everyone : i want any suggestions you have about how to make the dwarves ridiculous. belching, rude behavior, whatever you can come up with.

fran : tell peter he's not getting released from the rotating spit until i get my angry hug scene."



cheers --


.


aka. fili orc-enshield
+++++++++++++++++++
the scene, as i understand it, is exceptionally well-written. fili (in sort of a callback to the scene with the eagles), calls out "thorRIIIIIIN!!!" just as he sees the pale orc veer in for the kill. he picks up the severed arm of an orc which is lying on the ground, swings it up in desperation, effectively blocking the pale orc's blow. and thus, forever after, fili is known as "fili orc-enshield."

this earns him deep respect from his hard-to-please uncle. as well as a hug. kili wipes his boots on the pale orc's glory box. -- maciliel

(This post was edited by Maciliel on Apr 5 2013, 12:32pm)


sador
Half-elven


Apr 5 2013, 12:46pm

Post #21 of 24 (450 views)
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Friday, 15:45 - call the Hat-Mistress! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


SirDennisC
Half-elven


Apr 5 2013, 4:07pm

Post #22 of 24 (442 views)
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"Safety bulletin 33 should read: 'Harnesses are *not* optional on bridges and platforms.'" // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Brethil
Half-elven


Apr 5 2013, 4:32pm

Post #23 of 24 (457 views)
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"Fifty Shades of Grey" [In reply to] Can't Post

Scribey Goblin is very happy with his new book.
(THAT explains a lot.........!)Crazy

Hell hath no fury like a Dragon who is missing a cup.


Aunt Dora Baggins
Immortal


Apr 9 2013, 3:09am

Post #24 of 24 (418 views)
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A secret job application to Gringotts // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



(This post was edited by Aunt Dora Baggins on Apr 9 2013, 3:17am)

 
 

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