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Musings from the bath tub
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CuriousG
Valinor


Mar 24 2013, 9:30pm

Post #26 of 39 (173 views)
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Your cast list inspires more fear than an enraged Balrog [In reply to] Can't Post

Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis--all the best possible candidates to wreak ruin upon a film. Though actually, I think G Clooney could make a good Theoden.

And a queen of the hobbits! Yes, must have one. We also need the new standard tough martial arts girl to throw into the Fellowship to show we have a strong lead female character who can beat up boys. Paris Hilton gets my endorsement, or Sinead O'Connor.

There weren't nearly enough explosions or car chases in those pathetic Jackson movies. We need some orc-mobiles chasing our heroes on motorized swan boats, and we need to detonate Sauron's stockpiles of poisoned lembas that he's planning on sneaking into the food supply for school lunches--those warehouses have to go up in fiery infernos, along with the Mumakil supply trucks that were going to deliver them.

Yeah, let's remake this sissy movie into a real die-hard one. Aragorn's role, of course, had to be re-written as the anti-hero who's in jail and only released with other prisoners as a last chance to do a quest to avoid execution, so he can spurn Arwen's love repeatedly and not give a hoot what happens to anything else besides his freedom check. Let the cameras roll, and fill up the infinity pool.


Maciliel
Tol Eressea


Mar 24 2013, 9:53pm

Post #27 of 39 (150 views)
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oh, how your post has made me laugh [In reply to] Can't Post

 
curiousg, you have made this cynical hollywood producer laugh and laugh.

orc-mobiles -- hooooo....yessss! mechanized swan boats .... let's make fire come out of their beaks.

this movie, considering the cast, will need a lot of catch phrases.

every time the jokester of the group (merry/pippin) comes out of a rough scrape unscathed, we could have him say, "i'm orc-kay!"

tom cruise will have to have his shirt of at least 40% of the time, if we're going to get the best returns. and we'll have to dump that howard shore guy. hans zimmer, all the way. except for the songs that justin bieber sings ("elf me one more time," " i wanna your ringa," and "go-go gollum" -- which will also be a dance).

ok. i think i'm making myself sick now.


cheers --

.


aka. fili orc-enshield
+++++++++++++++++++
the scene, as i understand it, is exceptionally well-written. fili (in sort of a callback to the scene with the eagles), calls out "thorRIIIIIIN!!!" just as he sees the pale orc veer in for the kill. he picks up the severed arm of an orc which is lying on the ground, swings it up in desperation, effectively blocking the pale orc's blow. and thus, forever after, fili is known as "fili orc-enshield."

this earns him deep respect from his hard-to-please uncle. as well as a hug. kili wipes his boots on the pale orc's glory box. -- maciliel

(This post was edited by Maciliel on Mar 24 2013, 10:01pm)


Roheryn
Grey Havens

Mar 25 2013, 12:44am

Post #28 of 39 (172 views)
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I never said *where* I do my best thinking... [In reply to] Can't Post

though rarely do I have a chance to do any in a bathtub! Wink

I almost never watch reality TV, so don't really have anything to add here. However, I've always been curious about what happens if you drop your laptop in the bathwater. Experiment? Angelic


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Mar 25 2013, 2:59am

Post #29 of 39 (143 views)
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Nightmare, fersher! [In reply to] Can't Post

Gandalf: Joan Rivers
Bilbo (old): Mary Tyler Moore
Bilbo (young): Kirsten Dunst
Frodo: Peewee Herman
Sam: Bobcat Goldwaith

Okay... I've totally creeped myself out with just these!! *runs out of room*


3rd draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - updated for DVD release!!!



sample

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Kelvarhin
Half-elven


Mar 25 2013, 3:23am

Post #30 of 39 (125 views)
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Hm... now you've got me thinking... [In reply to] Can't Post

EvilLaughAngelic

Well I've never tried using the laptop in the bath, but I have iPodded Laugh Wink

*huggles*Heart

Bag ENZ Home of the Hobbit *with thanks to cameragod ;D*


One by one they faded, and fell into shadow...

One book to rule them all
One book to find them
One book to bring them all
And in TORn bind them
In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play



Kelvarhin
Half-elven


Mar 25 2013, 3:24am

Post #31 of 39 (121 views)
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Oh YUK!! // [In reply to] Can't Post

Laugh

Bag ENZ Home of the Hobbit *with thanks to cameragod ;D*


One by one they faded, and fell into shadow...

One book to rule them all
One book to find them
One book to bring them all
And in TORn bind them
In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play



Frodo_of_the_Wall
The Shire

Mar 25 2013, 9:03am

Post #32 of 39 (139 views)
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Oh dear [In reply to] Can't Post

I should NOT have read the comments on this thread.
I am now feeling vaguely ill and need to go and stare at my vast collection of LoTR and Hobbit pictures will all my beloved and brilliant actors in their rightful places....Crazy


The Prancing Pony
Rivendell

Mar 25 2013, 9:43am

Post #33 of 39 (127 views)
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*coughcoughcough* [In reply to] Can't Post

That's what my horror casting would look like, too.
Worst of all would be Angelina Jolie as Arwen, and the thought of Kristin Steward as Eowyn makes me want to cry and bang my head against a wall. And I dare not say what casting choice #9 would make me do *shudder*. Pirate

Though, your list has at least one positive side: to remind us how fortunate we are in terms of director and cast.

I'm sorry, but I'm not going to help you fill your infinity pool.

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."


Maciliel
Tol Eressea


Mar 25 2013, 10:59am

Post #34 of 39 (140 views)
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the sad thing is [In reply to] Can't Post

 
the sad thing is, there are probably some hollywood types out there who would think this list is chock full of good ideas.


Quote
"Though, your list has at least one positive side: to remind us how fortunate we are in terms of director and cast. "



+yes+. honestly, when thinking of lotr, i often feel thankful that such a sensitive and great creative team somehow managed to get together and make these fims. considering how often good ideas and good intentions are compromised in the making of films, we got extremely lucky.


cheers --


.


aka. fili orc-enshield
+++++++++++++++++++
the scene, as i understand it, is exceptionally well-written. fili (in sort of a callback to the scene with the eagles), calls out "thorRIIIIIIN!!!" just as he sees the pale orc veer in for the kill. he picks up the severed arm of an orc which is lying on the ground, swings it up in desperation, effectively blocking the pale orc's blow. and thus, forever after, fili is known as "fili orc-enshield."

this earns him deep respect from his hard-to-please uncle. as well as a hug. kili wipes his boots on the pale orc's glory box. -- maciliel


BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan


Mar 26 2013, 8:29am

Post #35 of 39 (108 views)
Shortcut
Hehe... [In reply to] Can't Post


Quote
. jack nicolson as Gandalf





"Here's Gandy!"

These are excellent horrific castings! Ben Affleck or Ryan Gosling in a Tolkien-related movie would kill me.

"Eala Earendel engla beorhtast
ofer middangeard monnum sended."

"You think you world is safe? It is an illusion. A comforting lie told to protect you. Enjoy these final moments of peace. For I have returned to have my vengeance. So, shall we begin? " - John Harrison/Khan/Sherlock/Smaug (Star Trek: Into Darkness)


Maciliel
Tol Eressea


Mar 26 2013, 11:19am

Post #36 of 39 (99 views)
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thanks! [In reply to] Can't Post

 
i was hoping to make at least one person violently ill.

turns out, that one person is me.


"here's gandy!" if i can quote marlon brando (who will be playing thranduil, in my new hobbit musical!).... "the horror, the horror..."

whree is the brain soap? my axons and dendrites need a thorough washing.


cheers --

.


aka. fili orc-enshield
+++++++++++++++++++
the scene, as i understand it, is exceptionally well-written. fili (in sort of a callback to the scene with the eagles), calls out "thorRIIIIIIN!!!" just as he sees the pale orc veer in for the kill. he picks up the severed arm of an orc which is lying on the ground, swings it up in desperation, effectively blocking the pale orc's blow. and thus, forever after, fili is known as "fili orc-enshield."

this earns him deep respect from his hard-to-please uncle. as well as a hug. kili wipes his boots on the pale orc's glory box. -- maciliel


BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan


Mar 26 2013, 1:01pm

Post #37 of 39 (92 views)
Shortcut
Ooooh! [In reply to] Can't Post

And then Thranduil says, "And you don't even think to call me god-elf..." while stroking a giant elk.

*Ahem* I might need some of that brain soap, too.

"Eala Earendel engla beorhtast
ofer middangeard monnum sended."

"You think you world is safe? It is an illusion. A comforting lie told to protect you. Enjoy these final moments of peace. For I have returned to have my vengeance. So, shall we begin? " - John Harrison/Khan/Sherlock/Smaug (Star Trek: Into Darkness)


CuriousG
Valinor


Mar 27 2013, 1:20am

Post #38 of 39 (68 views)
Shortcut
We forgot Clint Eastwood [In reply to] Can't Post

Put him in a movie, and you get at least an Oscar nomination, if not a win. He should be either Butterbur or Bombadil. You know, the silly, emotional types he plays so often.

Have we cast the Balrog yet? Lindsey Lohan might actually pull that off if she was in a bad mood. So we can't have her. Let's try Tom Cruise or David Letterman.


Maciliel
Tol Eressea


Mar 27 2013, 2:17am

Post #39 of 39 (82 views)
Shortcut
linsay lohan as the balrog! laugh! my! arkenstone! off! [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Quote
"Have we cast the Balrog yet? Lindsey Lohan might actually pull that off if she was in a bad mood. So we can't have her. Let's try Tom Cruise or David Letterman. "


by my beard -- that is +fantastic+ casting. what a dilemma! you know i want her as my hobbit queen.


curse you. (and cheers) ---


infinity pooooool!!!!!



.


aka. fili orc-enshield
+++++++++++++++++++
the scene, as i understand it, is exceptionally well-written. fili (in sort of a callback to the scene with the eagles), calls out "thorRIIIIIIN!!!" just as he sees the pale orc veer in for the kill. he picks up the severed arm of an orc which is lying on the ground, swings it up in desperation, effectively blocking the pale orc's blow. and thus, forever after, fili is known as "fili orc-enshield."

this earns him deep respect from his hard-to-please uncle. as well as a hug. kili wipes his boots on the pale orc's glory box. -- maciliel

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