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Charming.
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Roheryn
Grey Havens

Feb 20 2013, 2:49am

Post #1 of 30 (300 views)
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Charming. Can't Post

NZ Toddler, age 18 months, just toddled in to the living room wearing her grandmother's bra around her neck. She then proceded to explain to me, in a sort of charades fashion, just how one wears a bra. Apparently sort of hanging down your neck and wrapped around your waist.

Which reminds me of a conversation that Eldarion had with this same grandmother a few months ago.

"Nana, it's too small," he said sadly.

"What do you mean? This???" she said, holding a bra up as she was folding laundry.

"Yes. It'll never fit around your bottom."

She didn't have a good reply for that one.

(And anyone who's been following Eldarion over the years as he grows up will be pleased to know that, at age not-quite-7, he has a girlfriend whom he plans to marry when he's old enough. She is his best friend at school. When this was being discussed recently, Little Eldarion (age 5) announced that he was going to marry NZ Toddler when they both grow up. He's a little unclear on the concept still.)

So, share some funny things you've heard little kids say, whether yours or someone else's!


arithmancer
Grey Havens

Feb 20 2013, 3:02am

Post #2 of 30 (205 views)
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My son also had marriage plans when he was 5. [In reply to] Can't Post

He informed me that when he was old enough, he would marry me.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Feb 20 2013, 3:56am

Post #3 of 30 (188 views)
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Awww. :) / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Altaira
Superuser / Moderator


Feb 20 2013, 4:07am

Post #4 of 30 (207 views)
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Once, when I was in a liquor store [In reply to] Can't Post

I was perusing the wine aisles and passed a woman with a small child - maybe 5-6 years old. He was slowly following his mom around, gazing all the wine and looking very confused. Finally he tugged on his mom's dress and said: I don't see any licorice in here. (Of course, when she said liquor store, he thought she said licorice store Laugh)

My niece said something cute once when she was just learning the names of animals and was barely big enough to look out the window on tip-toes. She announce that she saw a bird and when my mother and I asked what kind of bird it was she said: "it's a penguin." Living in Colorado, we don't see many penguins in our back yards, even in winter Wink, so we rushed over to the window to see what magical bird she was looking at. It turned out it was a magpie. But, we were impressed with her little 2-year old reasoning that if it was a black and white bird, and the only black and white bird she knew the name of was a penguin, it must be a penguin! Lol.




Koru: Maori symbol representing a fern frond as it opens. The koru reaches towards the light, striving for perfection, encouraging new, positive beginnings.



"Life can't be all work and no TORn" -- jflower

"I take a moment to fervently hope that the camaradarie and just plain old fun I found at TORn will never end" -- LOTR_nutcase





Kimtc
Rohan


Feb 20 2013, 4:17am

Post #5 of 30 (208 views)
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My child was, sadly, politically incorrect. [In reply to] Can't Post

To the point where she could potentially get me in trouble. Examples:

--age 3, having just seen Disney's "Peter Pan" for the first time (it became her favorite movie, along with "Mulan" and, oddly enough, "The Philadelphia Story"). As I pushed her in a cart through the local multicultural farmers market, she sang/yelled at the top of her lungs "What makes the red man red!" For those who have not seen it, that is a song in this decidedly of-its-era movie. And she would not stop. She was usually marble-mouthed, but this was clear as a bell.

--age 5, in a semi-upscale Thai restaurant that had napkins on the plates folded into little boat-like hat shapes. She picked hers up, put it on her head, and proceeded to mimic someone bowing in prayer. I swear to God I have no idea where she saw that, and it looked vaguely Asian. Actually, more than vaguely. We stopped taking her out for a few years.

She is now at a very left wing liberal arts college, hanging around a vegan co-op, and denies any of these things took place. Unfortunately, this was before smartphones so I couldn't document.


Roheryn
Grey Havens

Feb 20 2013, 4:46am

Post #6 of 30 (211 views)
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Too funny! [In reply to] Can't Post

Kids just say whatever they're thinking. I love their transparency.

I heard the best embarrassing-moment-in-public ever recently, recounted by a friend. She was standing in the checkout line at a grocery story, right behind a mother, a father, and their daughter, age around 7. The daughter was whining for some candy she'd seen, and was starting to pitch a fit. The parents were holding out. Then the girl said to her mother in a very loud angry voice (which was heard by apparently everyone around): "If you don't let me have that candy, I'm going to tell everyone that I found you with Daddy's [absolutely censored and XXX-rated]!!!" The mother didn't say a word but marched straight out of the store, leaving behind the girl and the dad. I expect she'll never set foot in that store again!


Kimtc
Rohan


Feb 20 2013, 5:06am

Post #7 of 30 (212 views)
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Here's another: [In reply to] Can't Post

We were in line at Disneyworld last year, and there was a family in front of us with an adorable 5-year-old girl dressed as Belle. While we were waiting, the dad said to her "Sweetheart, what is best in life?" and she responded "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women." The mom turned several shades of red, and said "It's her uncle's fault! He taught her that!" We were losing it. Highlight of the trip.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Feb 20 2013, 6:57am

Post #8 of 30 (177 views)
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ROFL! [In reply to] Can't Post

That Dad knew exactly what he was doing! Cool

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Nunilo
Bree

Feb 20 2013, 6:59am

Post #9 of 30 (194 views)
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Some Hobbity Ones [In reply to] Can't Post

I tutor English and recently we had a go at looking through The Hobbit comic book.

Year 3 girl: Oooh I love the Hobbit! I watched the movie. (I'm thinking, good start!)

Me: This is a hobbit *points to picture* called Bilbo Baggins.

Year 3 girl: I know Bilbo! He's the one who's all naked except for a cloth round his waist.

Me: ..... No, that's Gollum?!

Another time, we were going through similes.

As wise as....?

Year 4 boy: GANDALF! *mimes walking like a hunchback with a stick*

I was really happy that he'd heard about the story. Turns out he'd been playing the video game lol.


dormouse
Half-elven


Feb 20 2013, 9:04am

Post #10 of 30 (174 views)
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At 3 years old, on a family holiday..... [In reply to] Can't Post

....I'm supposed to have toddled up to the stage when the presented of an outdoor show called for volunteer singers from the audience. Mum didn't spot what had happened until I was on stage, and then was curling up with embarrassment about what I would come out with, because I'd learned some - interesting - schoolboy parodies of hymns from my older brother. She was immensely relieved when I piped up with 'I do like to be beside the seaside', though she couldn't imagine how I knew it. Sighs of relief all round....

Now, being a somewhat reticent soul - the sort who would never, never volunteer to do anything like that - I would deny that this ever happened. Trouble is, I can't because Dad took a photo, so there is evidence. Small moppet on stage, standing slightly pidgeon-toed like little kids do beside a very tall man, holding a microphone stand at a ridiculous angle to catch the sound. Guilty as charged!


alienorchid
Lorien


Feb 20 2013, 12:04pm

Post #11 of 30 (160 views)
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That is really hilarious! [In reply to] Can't Post

My flatmates recite that quote a great deal, but I've never heard it from a child!


alienorchid
Lorien


Feb 20 2013, 12:09pm

Post #12 of 30 (158 views)
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My friend's daughter who is about 5, I think [In reply to] Can't Post

asked her for $20, and she was thinking [Oh no, she's started to ask me for money already!]. So she asked what the $20 was for, to which her daughter replied "I'm gonna pop some tags!" (She'd been listening to the song 'Thrift Shop' by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis).


BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan


Feb 20 2013, 1:12pm

Post #13 of 30 (148 views)
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My cousins are quite the characters. [In reply to] Can't Post

One's a little seven year old boy. A charmer if I've ever seen one. He wolf-whistles at passing women in shopping malls, embarrassing his uncle and father who would never do such things. If he makes a mistake or hurts himself, he shouts ,"Blistering blue barnacles!!!" at the top of his lungs. Once he decided to strip down to his vest and underwear and stated that he was performing a strip show, much to the amusement of the four other cousins.

My other cousin is a three year old girl who looks like a little hobbit. Very sweet and cute. My aunt had gotten a puppy for her birthday, and named him Gimli. Marli was the only non-LotR fan in the family who could pronounce his name properly.

Whenever her mother pronounced the pup's name incorrectly, she'd pout , frown seriously and fold her arms, saying, "His name isn't GIM-UH-LI! It's GIMLI!"

Legless Lego Legolas...there is nothing more epic.

"Ten percent of nothin' is ... let me do the math here ... nothin' into nothin' ... carry the nothin' ... " - Jayne from Firefly


BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan


Feb 20 2013, 1:19pm

Post #14 of 30 (145 views)
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That is so sweet! [In reply to] Can't Post

It reminds me of when I was in a liquor store with my father. A little girl sitting in the trolley pointed to a type of beer, and shouted as loudly as possible to her Daddy:
"Daddy! Look! It's my favourite kind! Can we get some!?"

Legless Lego Legolas...there is nothing more epic.

"Ten percent of nothin' is ... let me do the math here ... nothin' into nothin' ... carry the nothin' ... " - Jayne from Firefly

(This post was edited by BoromirOfWinterfell on Feb 20 2013, 1:19pm)


entmaiden
Forum Admin / Moderator


Feb 20 2013, 1:48pm

Post #15 of 30 (142 views)
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Many years ago, my mom [In reply to] Can't Post

took my brother to church with her. In the Catholic church, we have a tradition called the Holy Hour, where members of the parish spend an hour in quiet reflection in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

So Mom takes my 4- or 5-year old brother, after first cautioning him that they were going to God's house, and he needed to be very quiet. He was doing fine, until one of the priests, on an errand, emerged from the sacristy and walked across the front of the altar. My brother pipes up, "There's God!".


Kimtc
Rohan


Feb 20 2013, 2:41pm

Post #16 of 30 (145 views)
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The amazing thing is she channeled Arnold [In reply to] Can't Post

She lowered her voice and sounded sort of Austrian. Kind of like watching "The Exorcist."


imin
Valinor


Feb 20 2013, 3:01pm

Post #17 of 30 (132 views)
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Haha that is amazing! [In reply to] Can't Post

I am literally LMAO! i think if i were there i wouldn't be able to breath from laughing so hard!

I can just picture it now and having heard Arnie say that line so many times - the 160 greatest arnie quotes on youtube was a regular thing to be played in my student house makes it all the better!

Probably the funniest thing i have read on TORn!


Annael
Half-elven


Feb 20 2013, 4:03pm

Post #18 of 30 (132 views)
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I was engaged when I was 4 [In reply to] Can't Post

to a neighbor boy who was 6. He broke it off by stepping on my toe and spitting in my ear.

The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives.

- James Hillman, Healing Fiction

* * * * * * * * * *

NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967


DanielLB
Immortal


Feb 20 2013, 4:58pm

Post #19 of 30 (130 views)
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Yikes [In reply to] Can't Post

Spitting in your ear is a good enough reason to not include stepping on your toe!

Laugh

I still make blunders as an adult. I once said aloud Father Christmas wasn't real ... not realising a group of children were behind me.


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Feb 20 2013, 5:38pm

Post #20 of 30 (125 views)
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Bwahahaaa!!! OMG! That's so CUTE! [In reply to] Can't Post

And they're so serious when they say all of this!

Thank you! These Tales of the Tykes are treasures!

:D



Second draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - updated list coming soon



sample

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


sherlock
Gondor


Feb 20 2013, 6:30pm

Post #21 of 30 (119 views)
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One of my neighbors elaborately decorates her yard every [In reply to] Can't Post

Christmas. When my daughter was about six she said "I think Jesus lives there".


sherlock
Gondor


Feb 20 2013, 6:32pm

Post #22 of 30 (112 views)
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A coworker recently told the story [In reply to] Can't Post

of her eight year old grandson on seeing two pictures of himself said "Well, hello handsome times two"


Aunt Dora Baggins
Half-elven


Feb 20 2013, 6:41pm

Post #23 of 30 (111 views)
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It's been a long time since my kids were little and cute. [In reply to] Can't Post

But one of my favorite memories is my son at age three standing alone in the living room, wearing a huge pirate hat with a purple feather, and quoting from Pirates of Penzance, "Yes, I did my best for you and why? Because it was my DUTY!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



AlassŽa Eruvande
Valinor


Feb 20 2013, 6:57pm

Post #24 of 30 (127 views)
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Oh, goodness, where do I start? [In reply to] Can't Post

My Little Goblin is age 6 1/2 now. When he was very little, I don't remember his age, but well out of diapers, he went streaking through the house after a bath, completely nekkid. I hollered at him to get his undies on right now! So he streaked into his room and streaked out again with the undies on his head! Well, I guess I wasn't specific enough.

Another time, in church, he was just learning to talk. When the time in the mass came when the small bells ring, (Catholic Mass), he shouted at the top of his lungs, "DING DONG! DING DONG!" Of course this is a very quiet and reflective time of the mass, so the entire church could hear him. I felt worse for the two kids behind us who cracked up laughing and then their mom scolded them for laughing. But that's about all you can do is laugh. Crazy Then he realized he had an audience and kept trying to repeat the "DING DONG!" So Mr. Eruvande took him back to the cry room, which we found out is NOT sound proof. He hollered for Mama the whole way to the back of the church and then continued his hollering in the cry room. I'm thankful that he at least did not have a large vocabulary at this time, or who knows what we would have heard! Laugh

Another time in church (why is it always in church??) at a quiet moment in the service, he looked up at the Crucifix above the altar, and asked very loudly, "Who is that guy hanging on the wall?"
Okay, two bad Catholic parenting moments here:
A. That he's so loud in church
B. That my child does not recognized the Crucifix.

*guilt**guilt**guilt**guilt**guilt**guilt**guilt**guilt**guilt*



I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!


Roheryn
Grey Havens

Feb 20 2013, 8:23pm

Post #25 of 30 (115 views)
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Love the undies on the head! [In reply to] Can't Post

My boys have tried that on occasion. *sigh* They also sometimes put multiple pairs on, to "trick" me. Somehow they think it's a trick on me that they've been wearing four pairs all day -- I'd think that's horribly uncomfortable! And NZ Toddler is just thrilled she can put any article of clothing on, regardless of what it is and where it's supposed to go. She wears a lot of things, including undies, for hats.

Love the church stories too. Kids have no respect! I've got one to tell on myself: when I was about five, my parents took me to an Easter service at church. The minister asked the congregation (rhetorically, of course): "Do you believe that Christ died to save your sins?" And I yelled out, very loudly, "NO!!!" My parents nearly died of embarrassment. I had no idea why they were mad at me; I was just answering his question honestly. I didn't have to go back to church for a very, very long time.

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