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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Feb 9 2013, 10:48pm

Post #1 of 45 (842 views)
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

What is the real reason for the distrust between Elves and Dwarves?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Radagast-Aiwendil
Gondor


Feb 9 2013, 10:49pm

Post #2 of 45 (520 views)
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The Dwarves stole King Thingol's cookie jar!// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"These are Gundabad Wargs! They will outrun you!"

"THESE are Rhosgobel Rabbits! I'd like to see them try...."



Aragalen the Green
Gondor


Feb 9 2013, 11:14pm

Post #3 of 45 (517 views)
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The Elves are taller and hide things out of reach of the Dwarves? // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'


Otaku-sempai
Half-elven


Feb 9 2013, 11:29pm

Post #4 of 45 (515 views)
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You can't trust folk who can't grow a proper beard! [In reply to] Can't Post

And that would rather live in trees than in the earth.

'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring


CuriousG
Valinor


Feb 9 2013, 11:57pm

Post #5 of 45 (517 views)
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Elves are from Venus, Dwarves are from Mars [In reply to] Can't Post

Or maybe Elves are cat-lovers and Dwarves are dog-lovers.

But the secret truth is that they love each other very much, but Sauron has planted spies and agents even on the internet to spread conspiracy theories that they don't like each other. His arm has grown long; he has cookies on every computer.


Eye's on Guard
Lorien


Feb 10 2013, 12:06am

Post #6 of 45 (513 views)
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The Elves referred to the Seven Fathers with insulting nicknames (e.g. - "Doc" for Durin I) [In reply to] Can't Post

Movie trivia: Ages later, the names were used by Disney in the first feature-length animated film Wink


Eowyn3
Rivendell

Feb 10 2013, 12:32am

Post #7 of 45 (525 views)
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The Dwarves were very bad house guests [In reply to] Can't Post

at Thingol's halls. They threw his dishes around and eat all his food. And Melian didn't like their singing!

" He has just as much reason to go to war as you do. Why can he not fight for those he loves?"

(This post was edited by Eowyn3 on Feb 10 2013, 12:36am)


CuriousG
Valinor


Feb 10 2013, 12:57am

Post #8 of 45 (497 views)
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Good point [In reply to] Can't Post

Why didn't hobbits and Dwarves end up as enemies after that incident at Bag End? Harrumph


Eowyn3
Rivendell

Feb 10 2013, 1:02am

Post #9 of 45 (494 views)
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Maybe Hobbits are more easy going [In reply to] Can't Post

than First Age Elven Kings?

" He has just as much reason to go to war as you do. Why can he not fight for those he loves?"


The White Wizard
The Shire


Feb 10 2013, 1:09am

Post #10 of 45 (490 views)
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Definitely [In reply to] Can't Post

I think that is something almost any one could agree to.

True courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one.


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Feb 10 2013, 1:15am

Post #11 of 45 (491 views)
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It was always the same disagreement: should Oreos be split or unsplit before eating?// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

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ryouko
Lorien

Feb 10 2013, 1:27am

Post #12 of 45 (516 views)
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can't agree [In reply to] Can't Post

"Tastes Great!"

"Less Filling!"


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Feb 10 2013, 2:29am

Post #13 of 45 (483 views)
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i was SO close to going with that one! [In reply to] Can't Post

Maybe we have similarly-weird brains....whoops! I meant similarly-wired brains Wink

I also toyed with: the debate over who was funnier, Abbot or Costello, and with something about the Star-on machine and comparing the Elves and Dwarves to the star-belly and plain-belly Sneetches. Smile. Not sure why I went with Oreos.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


ryouko
Lorien

Feb 10 2013, 2:49am

Post #14 of 45 (472 views)
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weird works for me! [In reply to] Can't Post

I always proudly admit that I'm weird. Wink

And why do you question the Oreos? I thought that was a good one!

Another theory could be "Team Edward" "Team Jacob".


SirDennisC
Half-elven


Feb 10 2013, 3:08am

Post #15 of 45 (487 views)
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hmmm [In reply to] Can't Post

Dwarf: That key you've had no right to keep for so long (and that I have no idea what to do with) should have come to me!

Elf: This famous blade belonging to my kin (and that you found by chance) was made by my ancestors. May it serve you well.

Wait, these are supposed to be funny.


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Feb 10 2013, 4:48am

Post #16 of 45 (459 views)
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Thanks :-) [In reply to] Can't Post

Not really questioning the Oreos so much as questioning the randomness that went into going with Oreos rather than, say, the Sneetches for example. But thanks for liking it Smile

Team Edward v Team Jacob would have worked....but all the same I'm glad you went with the beer reference instead. Evil. Kirk/Picard would be another one.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


Arandiel
Grey Havens

Feb 10 2013, 5:13am

Post #17 of 45 (460 views)
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How well do Ravenclaws and Gryffindors really trust each other, anyway?// [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - traveling through Middle Earth with thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit

Join us, Thursdays on Main!


Arandiel
Grey Havens

Feb 10 2013, 5:16am

Post #18 of 45 (451 views)
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"No fair! You only gave US three rings!// [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - traveling through Middle Earth with thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit

Join us, Thursdays on Main!


zarabia
Tol Eressea


Feb 10 2013, 6:05am

Post #19 of 45 (480 views)
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It all started with first introductions [In reply to] Can't Post

One of the Elves, upon being introduced to a Dwarf, made the faux pas of saying. "Oh, no need to get up" before realizing his mistake. Dwarves began snarking such things as, "How's the weather up there?" It soon descended into name calling..."beardy-weirdy" and "fancy-pants" flying back and forth. It got pretty ugly after that. Tongue

"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime


zarabia
Tol Eressea


Feb 10 2013, 6:11am

Post #20 of 45 (466 views)
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Other variations [In reply to] Can't Post

Elves prefer Letterman, Dwarves like Leno. Or maybe a Beatles/Rolling Stones thing?

BTW, like the Sneeches idea; I had forgotten them. Smile

"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime


Roheryn
Grey Havens

Feb 10 2013, 8:40am

Post #21 of 45 (477 views)
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Strawberry bubble bath. [In reply to] Can't Post

For ages, every time the dwarves and elves get together for some big shin-dig, the elves keep trying to trick the dwarves into bathing in huge tubs with fluffy mounds of strawberry bubble bath. Not only does this make the dwarves mad because they're convinced the bubble bath will do something unspeakable to their hair, but they also never bathe more than once a year anyways, whether they need it or not. For their part, during those same shin-digs, the dwarves have been trying to sneak red meat (or was it ripe?) into every elvish dish they can. The elves, as vegans, naturally take great offense at finding sausages sticking out underneath the salad greens.


ryouko
Lorien

Feb 10 2013, 1:05pm

Post #22 of 45 (442 views)
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very true [In reply to] Can't Post

Since both sides like their ale, it is more fitting. Wink


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Feb 10 2013, 1:18pm

Post #23 of 45 (443 views)
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Cram vs Lembas. Who really DID have the recipe first? // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Second draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - updated list coming soon



sample

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Feb 10 2013, 2:06pm

Post #24 of 45 (455 views)
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"Oh, no need to get up" lol :D [In reply to] Can't Post

 
In honor of your post, I'll suggest a few more if I may:


Upon being introduced to each other, the Elves presented the Dwarves with a gift that was meant to break the ice and kickstart diplomatic relations: An illuminated leatherbound vellum 1st edition of The Arts of Mining, Metalworks and Weaponsmithing for Dummies.

The Dwarves, in turn, presented the Elves with an ancient spell for "enhancing" their mirrors, so that they could try out different styles of beard and other facial hair in their reflections. (Cirdan loved his.)


****

"I couldn't help noticing that handsome portrait in that locket you are holding. Would that be your son?"

"That would be me WIFE."

****

"Legend of the enchantments of Elvenkind have preceded you. Just how you manage to bake all those delicious cookies on-premises, without burning the tree down, is WONDEROUS!"



Smile

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Feb 10 2013, 2:09pm

Post #25 of 45 (433 views)
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Thanks :-) [In reply to] Can't Post

I also toyed with the Northgoing Zax v. Southgoing Zax, remember them? Smile

Also: East Coast v. West Coast rap/hip-hop Cool

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;

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