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Weekly poetry thread

Aunt Dora Baggins
Half-elven


Feb 7 2013, 4:34pm


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Weekly poetry thread Can't Post

This week I'm going with Ogden Nash again. I've always thought the first two stanzas of this poem were perfect, and the second two didn't really add anything. But I'm putting them all here because I couldn't find this poem anywhere on the Internet, and I thought it should be somewhere.

For some reason, Jonathan Jukes reminds me a bit of Silneldor ;-)

Tell it to the Esquimaux
By Ogden Nash

Jonathan Jukes if full of health,
And he doesnít care who knows it.
Others may exercise by stealth,
But he with a cry of Prosit!
Others put up with coated tongues,
And shoulders narrow and droopy;
Jonathan overinflates his lungs
With a thundering shout of Whoopee!
Jonathanís noise is healthy noise,
Jonathanís joys are healthy joys,
Jonathan shuns the primrose path,
And starts the day with an icy bath.

I might forgive the super-physique
Contained in the Jukes apparel;
The apple glowing in either check;
The chest like an oyster barrel;
The muscles that flow like a mountain stream,
The result of applied eugenics;
The rigorous diet, the stern regime
Of arduous calisthenics;
I can pardon most of the healthy joys,
I can pardon most of the healthy noise,
But Heaven itself no pardon hath
For the man who boasts of an icy bath.

If the Missing Links were vigorous chaps
And their manly deeds were myriad,
Must civilization then relapse
Back to the glacial period?
Humanity learns at a fearful price;
Must the lessons all be lost?
Does the locomotive feed on ice?
Is the liner propelled by frost?

One constant truth mankind has found
Through fire and flood and slaughter:
The thing that makes the wheels go round
Is plenty of good hot water.
And therefore, therefore, Jonathan Jukes,
You deserve the harshest of harsh rebukes;
You and your frigid daily bath
Are blocking civilizationís path.
You think of yourself as Spartan and spunky?
So, Jonathan, is the old brass monkey.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Subject User Time
Weekly poetry thread Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Feb 7 2013, 4:34pm
    Interesting poem Radagast-Aiwendil Send a private message to Radagast-Aiwendil Feb 7 2013, 6:57pm
        Cool! Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Feb 7 2013, 7:12pm
    Love Ogden Nash, and hot water! arithmancer Send a private message to arithmancer Feb 7 2013, 8:00pm
        Hee! I thought of the Bath Song too :-) // Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Feb 7 2013, 9:15pm
    'Tis not true silneldor Send a private message to silneldor Feb 8 2013, 12:53am

 
 
 

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