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Enough of the silliness -- time for something a bit more serious.
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Roheryn
Grey Havens

Feb 7 2013, 9:03am

Post #1 of 54 (1659 views)
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Enough of the silliness -- time for something a bit more serious. Can't Post

A pants thread! If we've done this already, I missed it. Thanks, Arandiel, for the nudge. Wink


Bilbo: “There was the city of Dale, its pants stretched far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and vale, crease-full and ponderous. For these pants lay before the doors of the greatest wardrobe in Middle-earth: Erebor. Stronghold of Thror, King under-Pants, mightiest of the dwarf lords.”

Balin: “You forget: the front zipper is sealed. There is no way into the pants.”

Balin: “I wouldn’t bother, laddie. Pants are named for the great deeds they do in bed.”

Thorin: “Our underwear is no concern of elves.”
Gandalf: “For goodness sake, Thorin, show him your pants!”
Thorin: “They are the legacy of my people; they are mine to protect, as are their secrets.”

Elrond: “So this is your purpose, to enter the Pants.”

Thorin: “Master Baggins, I suggest you keep your pants up.”

*********

Your turns!



little mouse
Rivendell

Feb 7 2013, 9:24am

Post #2 of 54 (837 views)
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His armor rent wielding nothing but an oaken pants as a shield [In reply to] Can't Post

 


jtarkey
Rohan


Feb 7 2013, 10:26am

Post #3 of 54 (791 views)
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"What have I got in my pocket.... [In reply to] Can't Post

PSYCH! I'm not wearing pants"

"You're love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind"


peace1993
Bree


Feb 7 2013, 11:04am

Post #4 of 54 (756 views)
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Why the half-ling? [In reply to] Can't Post

Perhaps it is because he has a nice pair of pants.

Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took.
Merry: What? That was just a detour, a shortcut.
Sam: Shortcut to what?
Pippin: Mushrooms!


Oin's parasite
Rivendell


Feb 7 2013, 12:08pm

Post #5 of 54 (744 views)
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"Lay down your pants! Or we rip his off!" [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"


jtarkey
Rohan


Feb 7 2013, 12:12pm

Post #6 of 54 (699 views)
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HA! That was great. [In reply to] Can't Post

Here's another...

"Did you know that your great-great-great uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could wear a size 30? Well he could!"

"You're love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind"


Aranaes
Rivendell


Feb 7 2013, 12:15pm

Post #7 of 54 (825 views)
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The giant Gundabad orc..... [In reply to] Can't Post

.....had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by removing the King's pants.

'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'


Kirly
Lorien


Feb 7 2013, 12:19pm

Post #8 of 54 (702 views)
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Fili: Kili! Give me your pants! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

My avatar photo is Lake Tekapo in New Zealand's South Island. Taken by me in 2004 on a Red Carpet Tours LOTR Movie Location Tour. 'Twas the Vacation of a Lifetime!

pictures taken while on the tour are here:
https://picasaweb.google.com/Kirly7/LOTRNewZealandTour#


Aranaes
Rivendell


Feb 7 2013, 12:23pm

Post #9 of 54 (776 views)
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"These were forged in Gondolin, by the High Elves of the First Age. You could not wish for finer pants"// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'


peace1993
Bree


Feb 7 2013, 12:52pm

Post #10 of 54 (705 views)
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Bilbo: “No, no, wait, wait, stop! Stop! We have to turn around.” [In reply to] Can't Post

Gandalf: “What on earth is the matter?”

Bilbo: “I forgot my pants.”

Bofur: “Here! Use this.”

Thorin: "Move on!"

Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took.
Merry: What? That was just a detour, a shortcut.
Sam: Shortcut to what?
Pippin: Mushrooms!


BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan


Feb 7 2013, 2:05pm

Post #11 of 54 (648 views)
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Yours are brilliant! [In reply to] Can't Post

I will take each and everyone one of these shorts over the mightiest trousers. Durability, 100 percent cotton and enough room. I can ask no more than that.

Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg - that has passed, so may this.


Aranaes
Rivendell


Feb 7 2013, 2:28pm

Post #12 of 54 (626 views)
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Strange for orcs to come so close to our pants. Something or someone has drawn them near. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'


Aranaes
Rivendell


Feb 7 2013, 2:34pm

Post #13 of 54 (667 views)
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Goblin King: Send word to the pale orc, tell him I have found his pants, they were lodged in my crevice! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'


Aranaes
Rivendell


Feb 7 2013, 2:40pm

Post #14 of 54 (680 views)
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Last one from me - Azog: Do you smell it? The scent of panties. I remember your father reeked pants, Thorin son of Thrain // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'


stoutfiles
Rohan


Feb 7 2013, 2:56pm

Post #15 of 54 (609 views)
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The Council [In reply to] Can't Post

Aragorn: “If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword."
Legolas: "And you have my bow."
Gimli: "And MY PANTS!”


Brethil
Half-elven


Feb 7 2013, 3:16pm

Post #16 of 54 (610 views)
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What Elrond really said [In reply to] Can't Post

"Lindir, be a good Figwit and lay out my purple silk boxers. The ones with the sparkly white stars. So comfy for dinner. Oh, and while you are at it bring these Dwarves some Febreze and a lint roller."

...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.

(This post was edited by Brethil on Feb 7 2013, 3:17pm)


Oin's parasite
Rivendell


Feb 7 2013, 3:24pm

Post #17 of 54 (592 views)
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More! [In reply to] Can't Post

Bofur: "Pants! Giant pants!"

Thorin: "What in Durin's pants are going on?"
Gandalf: "You are being pantsed!"

Galadriel: "If ever you need my pants..."

Dwalin: Which way laddy? Is it down here? He said there would be pants, and lots of em'."

Balin: "Thrain, Thorins's father was driven mad by pants, taken prisoner or killed; we did not know. We were pantless..."

Bilbo: "Thrór's pants ruled with utter surety. Never doubting his pants would endure. For his pants laid secure in the hands of his son, and grandson."

Bilbo: " Ah Frodo...pants."

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"


Alassëa Eruvande
Valinor


Feb 7 2013, 3:28pm

Post #18 of 54 (591 views)
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In a hole in the pants there lived a hobbit. [In reply to] Can't Post

Not nasty, dirty, wet pants, filled with the ends of threads and an oozy smell, nor yet dry, bare, sandy pants: it was hobbit-pants, and that means comfort waistband.



I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!


Brethil
Half-elven


Feb 7 2013, 3:49pm

Post #19 of 54 (569 views)
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haha...! [In reply to] Can't Post

Bifur to gandalf: "Ky kur Em-panada!" (Ah, here we know, at last, Thorin's secret Dwarf-name: Spicy-bottom Meat Pocket.)

Gandalf "Yes Bifur. We appear to be one pair of pants short."

Dwalin: "He is late is all. He cannot run with his pants down. He was at a pantsing of our kin. He will come."

...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.


xMb
The Shire

Feb 7 2013, 3:56pm

Post #20 of 54 (578 views)
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Ah Frodo... pants. [In reply to] Can't Post

I don't know why but I can't stop laughing at this Laugh


Brethil
Half-elven


Feb 7 2013, 4:01pm

Post #21 of 54 (601 views)
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Thorin arrives [In reply to] Can't Post

"Lost my pants twice. Think the elastic is gone. Didin't help that some woman with TORn written on her bodice keeps yanking them down."

...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.


Aragalen the Green
Gondor


Feb 7 2013, 4:01pm

Post #22 of 54 (623 views)
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Gandalf presents Bilbo with Pants [In reply to] Can't Post

Gandalf: "Here Bilbo, these are about your size"

Bilbo: "I can't take these"

Gandalf: "The pants are of Elvish make. They will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby"

Bilbo: " I've never worn pants in my life"

Gandalf: "And I hope you never have to. But if you do, true courage is not when to wear pants, but when to have a spare pair".

'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'


(This post was edited by Aragalen the Green on Feb 7 2013, 4:07pm)


Eleniel
Grey Havens


Feb 7 2013, 4:54pm

Post #23 of 54 (529 views)
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"Bert and Tom went off to the barrel.... [In reply to] Can't Post

William was having another drink. Then Bilbo plucked up courage and put his little hand in William's enormous pants."


"Choosing Trust over Doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened."
¯ Victoria Monfort






Old Toby
Gondor


Feb 7 2013, 5:31pm

Post #24 of 54 (508 views)
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Enough! [In reply to] Can't Post

"If we have worn these pants, do you not think others have worn them too? Eyes look East to the mountain - assessing, weighing. Do we stand back while others take what pants are rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back our pants? To Pants! To Pants!"

"Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good." Harry Dresden (Jim Butcher)


Aragalen the Green
Gondor


Feb 7 2013, 5:42pm

Post #25 of 54 (511 views)
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These are Gundabad pants! They will outrun you! These are Rhosgobel trousers!...I'd like to see them try // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'

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