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Who's up for some limericks?

Grey Havens

Feb 5 2013, 9:07am

Post #1 of 13 (533 views)
Who's up for some limericks? Can't Post

It's been a while -- put your silly limerick-hats on and see what you can come up with!


When Thorin our passions ignites,
We fangirls together unite:
His smouldering fire
Makes us desire
A Dwarvish liaison tonight.

Said Bofur to Bilbo: “Since you’re
Our burglar you ought to abhor
This dragony thing!
Think furnace with wings!”
And Bilbo fell splat! on the floor.

As Bilbo his contract perused,
A paragraph turned him chartreuse:
The different devices
for burglar demises
Struck him as hobbit abuse.


Okay, your turn! Cool

(This post was edited by Roheryn on Feb 5 2013, 9:09am)

Tol Eressea

Feb 5 2013, 4:35pm

Post #2 of 13 (353 views)
Oin and Gloin limericks [In reply to] Can't Post

Now Oin was a portent-seer maven
Whose senses were oft misbehavin',
When his ear-trumpet bent,
With his hearing, eyesight went,
Mistaking a thrush for a raven.

Lord Elrond, who oft wore quite the frown,
Can at times play mischievous clown.
Words in Elvish he spoke
So that Gloin felt provoked.
Oh, it's dinner? Then with that, Gloin's down.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.



Feb 6 2013, 3:31am

Post #3 of 13 (338 views)
This 'n that [In reply to] Can't Post

There was a bloke who eyed young Roheryn,
With luck he'd go over 'n ....
She let him 'ave it with a word,
to come tom cattin' absurd,
Out he came, his face a glower 'n .


There is this man called Squire,
Who never's in confusion or a mire,
He'll delve into a situation,
with thoughful contemplation,
Reiteratin' ere's no reason to be dire.


There is this man called Rux,
Who's words fit like a tux,
Can come up in a nip,
With yon canny quip,
Not to mention poetical rheterics .


There is this woman called dernwyn,
Who's warm and loves to be laughin'
Can play 'n sing you a tune,
And delve heartily into a rune,
N'er be one like 'er agin'.


There is a man called Sir DennisC
This here's a class gentleman see,
A helping word or deed he will lend
to whatever is at hand,
Without him we would poorer be.


There is this woman called Magpie,
Who has that caring heart, aye'?
One who gives much to TORn,
With grand projects she adorns,
Whenever we need her she is nigh.


There's a woman named grammaboo,
Who's devotion, much credit is due,
With TIME, BS & Zen's daily rendition,
Of years and nary an omission,
Is our forever, true blue.

Ode to Incomprehension*

There is a man called Paul Braun,
Whose rational' is it the antonym of profound.
'Lies from the pit of hell' cries the inane,
Antiquity personified, perhaps legally insane,
Fertile, divine in comparison, is yon pasture mound.

* My apolopies, the devil made me do itEvilAngelic

Tol Eressea

Feb 6 2013, 4:23am

Post #4 of 13 (322 views)
*hearty applause* [In reply to] Can't Post

Outstanding! And thanks for the kindness in the one for me, I am humbly thankful and flattered. Smile

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.


NZ Strider

Feb 6 2013, 11:44am

Post #5 of 13 (352 views)
King Thror once in Erebor [In reply to] Can't Post


The Arkenstone did adore.
But a dragon most cruel
Then snatched that jewel
To the great dismay of King Thror.

But Bilbo to Erebor
Then went through a secret door
And stole a flagon
From the hoard of the dragon
Which made the dragon to roar.

So the dragon left Erebor
To return there nevermore
For a sturdy yeoman
Called Bard the Bowman
With an arrow smote him full sore.

So Thorin in Erebor
Spent time seeking that jewel of yore.
But Bilbo put more in
Than did poor Thorin
And found it right there on the floor.

So Bilbo from Erebor
Then crept with his prize in store
To strike with Bard
A bargain hard
And wounded old Thor'n to the core.

As he stood in Erebor
Proud Thorin now bargained and swore.
For the Arkenstone,
For it alone,
He promised them mountains of ore.

But then Orcs at Erebor
In battle spilt Thorin's gore.
So Dain from the hills
Thorin's bargain fulfils
And now holds that gemstone of lore.

Tol Eressea

Feb 6 2013, 12:54pm

Post #6 of 13 (311 views)
Hmmmm *scrunches up forehead in concentration* [In reply to] Can't Post

There once was an orc from Nantucket
Whose job was to carry the *#&^ bucket
"Bring me that thing"
Cried the drunken Witch King
Who over Gondor's* walls did chuck it!



*Yes, I know, but "Minas Tirith" totally messes with the rhythm.

Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


Feb 6 2013, 1:22pm

Post #7 of 13 (296 views)
Here's mine (with a spoiler) [In reply to] Can't Post

There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
To whom Gandalf said "Yes you will go
Away far to the east
to steal from the beast"
(Who was sent to his death with an arrow.)

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.


Feb 6 2013, 2:28pm

Post #8 of 13 (334 views)
This were a good'un NZ!!\\ [In reply to] Can't Post


Grey Havens

Feb 6 2013, 7:59pm

Post #9 of 13 (290 views)
Hah! [In reply to] Can't Post

I knew you still had it in you! Well done. Smile


Feb 6 2013, 8:24pm

Post #10 of 13 (290 views)
How very nice of you to say... [In reply to] Can't Post

Brother Sil also known as "the bard"
to match him would ever be hard
he's gentle and kind
holds youth and sharp mind
and looks great in hot-pink unitard

To real men everywhere my friend.

Superuser / Moderator

Feb 6 2013, 9:39pm

Post #11 of 13 (302 views)
One repost, one newbie: [In reply to] Can't Post

The hotness of Dwarf-men hirsuit
Can prompt a keen fangirl pursuit
Of lost, lonely kings
Who meltingly sing -
their swoons are a geek-girl salute!

* * * * *
The gold-lusting dragon did brood
On Dwarvish attempts to elude.
The thieves didn't know
Their scent he followed
Would be gone if they only shampooed.

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.

Ataahua's stories

(This post was edited by Ataahua on Feb 7 2013, 12:58am)

Forum Admin / Moderator

Feb 7 2013, 2:46am

Post #12 of 13 (263 views)
Lookit that! [In reply to] Can't Post

The story, in limericks! Nice! Cool


"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

Forum Admin / Moderator

Feb 7 2013, 2:52am

Post #13 of 13 (330 views)
LOL! [In reply to] Can't Post

My dear sil, you are most certainly waxing poetic! (With pure beeswax, no less! Wink)

And I can't hold a candle to SirD's response! Laugh


"I desired dragons with a profound desire"


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