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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Jan 26 2013, 10:18pm

Post #1 of 32 (584 views)
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

Now that the great gush of Hobbit newness is over, I figure it's time to open the conspiracy cupboard once again to hear oddball, hilarious and sometimes downright frightening reasons for things that happen in Middle-earth. So here's this week's one:

We've seen him use it to illuminate ithildin letters, but what else does Lord Elrond use his crystal table for?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


(This post was edited by Ataahua on Jan 26 2013, 10:20pm)


Arandiel
Grey Havens

Jan 26 2013, 11:11pm

Post #2 of 32 (273 views)
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Well, SOMEBODY has to do all the really fine needlework around Rivendell [In reply to] Can't Post

and it's really tough on the eyes without some back light!


Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - traveling through Middle Earth with thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit

Join us, Thursdays on Main!


AlassŽa Eruvande
Valinor


Jan 26 2013, 11:21pm

Post #3 of 32 (293 views)
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They drag it into the dining hall when grammaboodawg visits. [In reply to] Can't Post

Then stuff just sort of...happens. TongueAngelic



I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!


Lissuin
Tol Eressea


Jan 26 2013, 11:24pm

Post #4 of 32 (270 views)
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It's actually a block of ice... [In reply to] Can't Post

where Elrond is keeping Encino Man. Samwise Gamgee is "meant" to find him.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Jan 26 2013, 11:25pm

Post #5 of 32 (270 views)
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A sportsfield for his miniature - *really* miniature - ice-hockey team. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Lissuin
Tol Eressea


Jan 26 2013, 11:34pm

Post #6 of 32 (260 views)
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Smaller than hobbits?! [In reply to] Can't Post

Pixies!


ryouko
Lorien

Jan 26 2013, 11:47pm

Post #7 of 32 (246 views)
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Ping-Pong after dark // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


SirDennisC
Half-elven


Jan 26 2013, 11:47pm

Post #8 of 32 (254 views)
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As a vanity light for trimming his nose hairs? // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


(This post was edited by SirDennisC on Jan 26 2013, 11:50pm)


Aragalen the Green
Gondor


Jan 26 2013, 11:58pm

Post #9 of 32 (247 views)
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For looking through his vacation slides? // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

There it is: dwarves are not heroes, but calculating folk with a great idea of the value of money; some are tricky and treacherous and pretty bad lots; some are not, but are decent enough people like Thorin and Company, if you don't expect too much.


Bombadil
Half-elven


Jan 27 2013, 1:06am

Post #10 of 32 (280 views)
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Its Gladrail's Transporter..So she can [In reply to] Can't Post

 jump back to LothLorien
aTa moment's notice?

( beam me up Celeborn?)


Kassandros
Rohan


Jan 27 2013, 2:39am

Post #11 of 32 (269 views)
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Elrond keeps it there mostly for when Gandalf and Galadriel both visit. [In reply to] Can't Post

No one really knows what they use it for and no one particularly wants to find out...

all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us...


Asger
Bree


Jan 27 2013, 2:40pm

Post #12 of 32 (211 views)
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A flat-screen Palantir [In reply to] Can't Post

A bit hard using it to look anywhere but straight down.

"Don't take life seriously, it ain't nohow permanent!" Pogo
www.willy-centret.dk


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jan 27 2013, 2:49pm

Post #13 of 32 (211 views)
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It's a focusing lens for his next invention: a giant "LA-SER" (with finger quotes...it's just a working title for now) // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;

(This post was edited by Ruxendil_Thoorg on Jan 27 2013, 2:50pm)


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jan 27 2013, 3:05pm

Post #14 of 32 (274 views)
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One Foosball Table to Rule them All! [In reply to] Can't Post

He creates/summons the "hockey players" out of water as needed. Rivendell's River Bruinen Water Cavalry was only the beginning.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jan 27 2013, 3:19pm

Post #15 of 32 (235 views)
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It's a "scrying-device"... [In reply to] Can't Post

...that pirates HBO for keeping up with Game of Thrones. Budget's tight during wartime, you know.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


silneldor
Half-elven


Jan 27 2013, 8:29pm

Post #16 of 32 (204 views)
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Well, i don't know Rux. I am thing LRI [In reply to] Can't Post

Lunar Resonance Imaging. How do ya think they got a true look-see where the morgul blade pieces migrated to in Frodo?....."Dr House expression"















Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jan 27 2013, 9:45pm

Post #17 of 32 (228 views)
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(Last Homely) House, M.D. [In reply to] Can't Post

Elrond: So what do you think? Starting with Lindir...?

Lindir: Clearly this is the work of foul Morgul sorcery. I would prescribe an athelas drip overnight to stabilize the splinter, and schedule a surgical for tomorrow at dawn's first light.

Arwen: It may be an athelas allergy. Lindir's diagnosis and trratment plan may kill the patient. I've already given up my seat at the Grey Havens for him, so can we please not waste it on a corpse? What Frodo needs is a counterspell in the name of Elbereth Githoniel, and some Light of Earendil every hour for 24 hours under supervision in the clean room.

Lindir: Athelas allergy??? Might you be high on Lord Elrond's painkiller potions?

Arwen: Excuse me??? Just who do you think....

Erestor: You're both way off. He needs surgery now, not tomorrow. Songs and light will not rid the patient of the suspected cause, the Morgul splinter.

Elrond: Let's test those theories. Schedule a Lunar Resonance Imaging scan.
Start an athelas drip. Get us a surgery room and a clean room . And 20 cc's of miruvor.

Arwen: What's the miruvor for? An anesthetic?

Elrond: Not for him, for me.



(Dedicated to Sineldor for the inspiration). Wink

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Jan 28 2013, 12:51am

Post #18 of 32 (184 views)
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To attract messenger moths // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



First draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - updated list coming soon



sample

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)



grammaboodawg
Immortal


Jan 28 2013, 12:57am

Post #19 of 32 (196 views)
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*snigger! * [In reply to] Can't Post

That does seem to be the way of it ;)



First draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - updated list coming soon



sample

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)



dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jan 28 2013, 1:52am

Post #20 of 32 (196 views)
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Bwahaha! Oh, this is good! [In reply to] Can't Post


Quote
Elrond: Let's test those theories. Schedule a Lunar Resonance Imaging scan.
Start an athelas drip. Get us a surgery room and a clean room . And 20 cc's of miruvor.

Arwen: What's the miruvor for? An anesthetic?

Elrond: Not for him, for me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"






silneldor
Half-elven


Jan 28 2013, 2:04am

Post #21 of 32 (190 views)
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Rux, you have come to the right place. [In reply to] Can't Post

We all know it. And i know you know it now.

Together we celebrate the finest things that life has to offer. And in this caseLaugh, righteous humour.

Well done:)















ryouko
Lorien

Jan 28 2013, 2:08am

Post #22 of 32 (178 views)
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Love it!! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jan 28 2013, 2:56am

Post #23 of 32 (181 views)
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hehe, thanks :-) [In reply to] Can't Post

That was a good spot of fun, though I can't vouch for the medi-speak AngelicSly

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jan 28 2013, 3:08am

Post #24 of 32 (183 views)
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The "LRI" and the House, M.D. ideas of yours were key. [In reply to] Can't Post

All I did was elaborate a little, haha! Glad you enjoyed it, sineldor! I had fun writing it, thanks for the inspiration Smile

It is good to be here to celebrate the good things, and to have a good laugh, together with you and everyone here. Thanks for being welcoming and warm all the time I've been here. Smile

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Jan 28 2013, 3:09am

Post #25 of 32 (190 views)
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Thanks! That was good fun :-) // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;

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