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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Movie Discussion: The Hobbit:
If the Hobbit were Directed By...

Rostron2
Gondor


Jan 22 2013, 6:48pm


Views: 1152
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If the Hobbit were Directed By... Can't Post

what would we see? (for serious perspective or fun...)

Michael Bay: There would be more fires and explosions beyond count; there would have been a couple of pointless female characters...

Quentin Tarantino: There would be a lot of violence and blood and the revenge trope would be the whole movie, not Bilbo.

M.Night Shyamalan: The Necromancer would turn out to be a member of the company in some huge twist that doesn't really make sense.

Tim Burton: It would be done in almost gray scale. It would have been done with stop-motion animation, and lots of characters would mumble, and the Necromancer would have a song

Guy Ritchie: There would be shotguns used by dwarves, and the goblins and dwarves would be rival gangs of crooks robbing the bank of Smaug

Terence Malick: The story would make no sense because it would be a pipeweed induced dream of Bilbo's with endless shots of trees in Mirkwood.

Kathryn Bigelow: There would be highly realistic White Council sessions on how to deal with Smaug/Necromancer, etc. Bilbo would be a 'rookie' adventurer introduced to grizzled and cynical veterans of treasure hunts.

Martin Scorsese: Actually, having seen his one kids film, I'd like to see how Marty would have done a fantasy epic.

JJ Abrams: Lots of fantastical dwarven devices would be used. There would be plot holes a mile wide that are only there to frustrate/puzzle the fans, and he'd simply blow up the elves, since he doesn't like their culture.

Woody Allen: Bilbo's character would be almost unwatchable as he adopts Allen-like mannerisms, and Bilbos would definitely NOT get the girl in the end.

Mel Brooks: It would be sort of like a joke-fest with ill-timing throughout, but charming.

Steven Spielberg: Would spend a lot of time on the characters and their own personal backstories, but the script would be about as Tolkien as Twilight

Oliver Stone: The movie would spend a lot of time dealing in Sauron's deception, Saruman's duplicity, and some kind of elf plot to steal dwarven treasure and betray Thorin.




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Subject User Time
If the Hobbit were Directed By... Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 6:48pm
    Michael Bay... bborchar Send a private message to bborchar Jan 22 2013, 6:52pm
        Thanks for the detail! // Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 6:56pm
        Theh herzogian Send a private message to herzogian Jan 23 2013, 1:33am
            Exaggerate much? bborchar Send a private message to bborchar Jan 23 2013, 1:43am
    Michael Bay xMb Send a private message to xMb Jan 22 2013, 7:00pm
        And even in the snowy mountains... bborchar Send a private message to bborchar Jan 22 2013, 7:07pm
    Ridley Scott glor Send a private message to glor Jan 22 2013, 7:08pm
        Let's not forget huge amounts of dust Arandir Send a private message to Arandir Jan 22 2013, 7:18pm
            Actually...methinks that's George Lucas Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 10:32pm
        If Ridley Scott directed the Hobbit... Aragalen the Green Send a private message to Aragalen the Green Jan 22 2013, 8:05pm
    Wonderful! Aragalen the Green Send a private message to Aragalen the Green Jan 22 2013, 7:18pm
        M. Night Shyamalan... bborchar Send a private message to bborchar Jan 22 2013, 7:25pm
    Michael Bay's version (my take on it) Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Jan 22 2013, 7:28pm
        Perfect! Arthael Send a private message to Arthael Jan 22 2013, 10:05pm
        Hilarious ! // Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 10:34pm
    Alfonso Cuaron macfalk Send a private message to macfalk Jan 22 2013, 7:59pm
        Plus a few 10-minute single take segments throughout the film ... // Arandir Send a private message to Arandir Jan 22 2013, 8:06pm
    That Shyamalan one is perfect. :D Ataahua Send a private message to Ataahua Jan 22 2013, 8:46pm
        Gore Verbinski glor Send a private message to glor Jan 22 2013, 9:16pm
        John Woo!!! Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 10:31pm
    Quentin Tarantino... Longbottom Leaf Send a private message to Longbottom Leaf Jan 22 2013, 10:09pm
    Peter Jackson ? Sinister71 Send a private message to Sinister71 Jan 22 2013, 10:12pm
        Oh yes... bborchar Send a private message to bborchar Jan 22 2013, 10:25pm
        Joss Whedon IdrilofGondolin Send a private message to IdrilofGondolin Jan 22 2013, 10:26pm
    Excellent! FlyingSerkis Send a private message to FlyingSerkis Jan 22 2013, 10:37pm
        Yes, absolutely Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 10:39pm
    A few More Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 10:47pm
        Paolo Pasolini Lusitano Send a private message to Lusitano Jan 22 2013, 11:24pm
            Bergman Lusitano Send a private message to Lusitano Jan 22 2013, 11:30pm
                Yup, exactly...// Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 22 2013, 11:45pm
                    Cant tell Lusitano Send a private message to Lusitano Jan 23 2013, 12:02am
        ... Arannir Send a private message to Arannir Jan 23 2013, 7:12am
        Wes Anderson Oin's parasite Send a private message to Oin's parasite Jan 23 2013, 3:36pm
    Because I can't impose Jane Austen on the world quite enough: Alassėa Eruvande Send a private message to Alassėa Eruvande Jan 22 2013, 11:56pm
        Brilliant Lusitano Send a private message to Lusitano Jan 23 2013, 12:05am
        Excellent Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jan 23 2013, 12:06am
            Yes Lusitano Send a private message to Lusitano Jan 23 2013, 12:08am
            That would be Azog. Alassėa Eruvande Send a private message to Alassėa Eruvande Jan 23 2013, 12:14am
        Love it x3! Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Jan 23 2013, 2:45am
        *huge applause* Ataahua Send a private message to Ataahua Jan 23 2013, 2:57am
        Great stuff! Sślimė Send a private message to Sślimė Jan 23 2013, 3:44am
    Tim Burton TheHutt Send a private message to TheHutt Jan 23 2013, 12:43am
        Then who... Aragalen the Green Send a private message to Aragalen the Green Jan 23 2013, 12:47am
        Bilbo's Big Adventure Kangi Ska Send a private message to Kangi Ska Jan 23 2013, 2:11pm
    Werner Herzog herzogian Send a private message to herzogian Jan 23 2013, 1:44am
    William Friedkin Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Jan 23 2013, 3:09am
        Aha-ha-ha! Alassėa Eruvande Send a private message to Alassėa Eruvande Jan 23 2013, 3:42pm
    JJ Abrams... bborchar Send a private message to bborchar Jan 23 2013, 3:39am
    John Hughes Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Jan 23 2013, 4:11am
        ermahgherd... swordwhale Send a private message to swordwhale Jan 23 2013, 6:56am
        John Hughes Alassėa Eruvande Send a private message to Alassėa Eruvande Jan 23 2013, 4:01pm
            Cue music for the chase by Orcs scene: Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Jan 23 2013, 6:02pm
    The Hobbit by Tarantino macfalk Send a private message to macfalk Jan 23 2013, 9:45am
    Sergio Leone TheHutt Send a private message to TheHutt Jan 23 2013, 12:34pm
    If John Yates directed Elenorflower Send a private message to Elenorflower Jan 23 2013, 6:47pm
    David Lynch ala Dune Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Jan 26 2013, 1:03am

 
 
 

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