Our Sponsor Sideshow Collectibles Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien
Do you enjoy the 100% volunteer, not for profit services of TheOneRing.net?
Consider a donation!

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Movie Discussion: The Hobbit:
The courtesy of our hall is somewhat lessened of late. (Admin Announcement, ALL PLEASE READ)

Silverlode
Forum Admin / Moderator


Aug 28 2012, 7:08pm


Views: 22435
Shortcut
The courtesy of our hall is somewhat lessened of late. (Admin Announcement, ALL PLEASE READ) Can't Post

Over the last several months, the Admins/Mods have been watching the Hobbit board in growing dismay. TORN has always been a welcoming and friendly place but the Hobbit board has recently become fraught with bickering and petty argument, with general bad feeling increasing at a worrying rate. We have nudged, suggested, commented, snipped threads here and there and waited to see if things would settle out of their own accord. They have not. Now we are getting messages both private and public with complaints and concerns from oldtimers and newbies alike that they are finding the atmosphere unpleasant. Some have even chosen to avoid this section of the forum altogether. This cannot continue.

This is not about opinions or "sides".
This is a Tolkien site, first and foremost. While the site was created to follow the production of Peter Jackson's movies and most of our staff and members are fans of those movies, we welcome ALL opinions and expect everyone, old and new, to be treated respectfully. We have never banned anyone for their opinions regarding the books or movies. We have, however, had to ban quite a number of people for being unable to express themselves with courtesy and respect toward others. Some of these people complained both here and elsewhere that they were being persecuted for their opinions despite extensive and repeated explanations from us that their poor behavior was at fault. Before we begin taking measures to deal with the problems we see on this board, we want to make sure that our expectations are clear.

We expect that everyone here has read our Terms of Service. If you have not, please do so before you post another message on these boards. Pay particular attention to rules 3, 6, and 12 listed there. You will notice that we place a very high value on treating fellow members with courtesy. This is not only expected but required.
However, not everyone seems to know or remember what that looks like in practice, so we thought it might be helpful to be more explicit about what we mean.

This is what good TORNetiquette looks like:

1. Remember that these boards are a community. They are not anyone's personal playground. We frequently find that those we call out for poor behavior try to justify it by citing free speech or personal rights. Your rights stop where others' rights begin. In other words, your right to swing your arms freely ends at the tip of your neighbor's nose. If we start seeing too many bloody noses in your vicinity, we will restrict your swing zone. On all such questions the moderators have the final word.

2. Treat others with respect. Just as you would like others to listen to what you say and respond to your ideas politely, you must also listen to others and be polite in return, even when you disagree. Yes, even if you think their ideas are stupid. Discuss issues, not personalities, and do not attempt to tell others what they do think or how they should think. Blanket phrases like "you people", "you all think", "you don't care if" or "anyone who thinks that...." are dead giveaways of disrespect for the individuals you are addressing. Instead, speak for yourself. "I think", "In my opinion", "____ strikes me this way" are all much better gambits for discussion.

3. Agree to Disagree. Part of respecting others' opinions is not always needing to have the last word. If the same point has been made three times by the same people in the same thread and no one is changing their minds, walk away. In all the history of these boards we have never seen anyone suddenly change their mind at this point in a conversation and there is no gain in continuing to try all the other members' patience with endless repetition. You cannot "win" on a matter of personal opinion and nearly all of our conversations are based on exactly that. If the debate is only between two people and both wish to continue it, take it to Private Message.

4. Do not hijack threads for a personal agenda. Threads here frequently go off topic. When it happens organically, it can be great. When it is because of someone who has a one-track mind and pounces on every possible chance they can find or create to turn a conversation to their own pet topic, it is tiresome.

5. Do not "spam" threads with your opinion. You do not have to reply to everyone in a thread (even if you started it), especially if you have already given your opinion more than once in the same thread and you are essentially repeating yourself to each person in turn. This gives the impression that you are trying to control the flow of the conversation to suit yourself rather than letting it develop naturally.

6. Do not treat TORN like a personal soapbox. We exist by and for the fans, not as a platform to reach people you hope may be lurking. It's rude to the community here to use us merely to make your point to someone else. And it would still be rude even if you knew for certain that they were listening.

7. Do not stalk your opposite. Do not follow people of differing opinion around the board and "correct" everything they say. This is irritating and produces only bad feeling. If you have had more than one conversation on the same topic with the same person, or if you have stated the same opinion more than once in the same thread, they already know what you think. It is not your job to fix them, nor do you need to "balance" them out. Believe me, if you find yourself frequently at odds with the same person the rest of the board has also been reading your conversations and knows what you both think. Good balance on the boards happens when everyone says what they have to say, shares their perspective on their differences and then moves on. If you feel that someone is "following" you around the board and you cannot resolve it with them directly, send a Private Message to one of the Admins/Mods and let us know.

8. Do not try to "compensate" for other peoples' opinions.
You do not have to make a counter argument for every statement you do not agree with. This makes you come across as arrogant and obnoxious because it implies that you do not really think other opinions are valid and you think yours must take precedence. This is especially unacceptable if you are trying to shout others down in the hope that someone in the production will hear you and take your opinion to heart over theirs. See #6.

9. Give the benefit of the doubt. A huge number of arguments and flame wars arise over simple misunderstandings or different usage of words. We have people here from many different countries and cultures within those countries. Do not assume that your reading of a statement or perspective on an issue is the only possible one.
If you did not mean to offend but someone is offended anyway, do not justify yourself and tell them how wrong they are to be upset. Explain what you did mean more clearly. If you are offended by someone else, ask for clarification before assuming they meant to be offensive. They may not be aware of how they sound to you.

10. Apologize early and often. If someone is upset by or offended by something you said, acknowledge that and apologize even if you don't see why it's a big deal. If nothing else, it makes you appear much more likeable and reasonable and it defuses a lot of anger. And maybe you are wrong, in which case you look smarter when you admit it. Half-apologies, where you say "I'm sorry, but you're still wrong" don't count.


11. You cannot control others, only yourself. Don't let yourself be goaded by others' poor behavior to come down to their level and behave badly yourself. Nobody benefits from that.

12. If you're not a Mod, don't try to act like one. By and large, TORN members are very helpful and like to jump in when they see a need. We are very happy about that. But we are not happy when we see people trying to lecture or enforce the rules against others. If you see someone violating the rules, bring it to our attention via Private Message or on the Feedback board and let us deal with it. This goes double for trolls. Do not feed them.

13. Try to preserve a sense of humor. In the midst of so much speculation and with so many differing views on every topic causing friction between members, a sense of humor about oneself and the topic is a wonderful calming agent. We all love these stories, and we are all here because we have found enjoyment in them, by whatever means. Taking things too seriously turns what should be our common ground into a battle zone and defeats the purpose of gathering together as fans. Our differences can broaden our horizons rather than dividing us into little factions, if we lighten up a little and let them.

14. Detachment is the best preservation of sanity. Fandom is supposed to be fun. When it stops being fun, go do something else that is. If you find yourself getting too emotionally involved in debate, take a break and come back when you can be civil. We'll still be here.


Silverlode

"Of all faces those of our familiares are the ones both most difficult to play fantastic tricks with, and most difficult really to see with fresh attention. They have become like the things which once attracted us by their glitter, or their colour, or their shape, and we laid hands on them, and then locked them in our hoard, acquired them, and acquiring ceased to look at them.
Creative fantasy, because it is mainly trying to do something else [make something new], may open your hoard and let all the locked things fly away like cage-birds. The gems all turn into flowers or flames, and you will be warned that all you had (or knew) was dangerous and potent, not really effectively chained, free and wild; no more yours than they were you."
-On Fairy Stories

Subject User Time
The courtesy of our hall is somewhat lessened of late. (Admin Announcement, ALL PLEASE READ) Silverlode Send a private message to Silverlode Aug 28 2012, 7:08pm
    Thank you! Milknut Send a private message to Milknut Aug 29 2012, 3:32am
        That goes for me, too. :-) // geordie Send a private message to geordie Aug 29 2012, 12:32pm
            And me :-) // dormouse Send a private message to dormouse Aug 29 2012, 12:43pm
        Same as Milknut! // macfalk Send a private message to macfalk Aug 29 2012, 4:09pm
    Here Here Boulderfist Send a private message to Boulderfist Aug 29 2012, 3:47am
        Hear hear! Shelob'sAppetite Send a private message to Shelob'sAppetite Aug 29 2012, 4:03am
            ...? cameragod Send a private message to cameragod Aug 29 2012, 7:28am
            pfft it sounded right in my head :P Boulderfist Send a private message to Boulderfist Aug 29 2012, 7:36am
    Narcissism and navel gazing be darned SirDennisC Send a private message to SirDennisC Aug 29 2012, 3:28pm
        You're one of the good guys VoronwŽ_the_Faithful Send a private message to VoronwŽ_the_Faithful Aug 29 2012, 3:38pm
            Agreed Shelob'sAppetite Send a private message to Shelob'sAppetite Aug 29 2012, 4:38pm
                I don't think expressing opinions is the problem. RosieLass Send a private message to RosieLass Aug 29 2012, 4:46pm
                How very kind of both of you SirDennisC Send a private message to SirDennisC Aug 29 2012, 4:55pm
    since this is probably partialy aimed at me Sinister71 Send a private message to Sinister71 Aug 29 2012, 4:34pm
        The intent entmaiden Send a private message to entmaiden Aug 29 2012, 4:50pm
            Passion brings out so many things elevorn Send a private message to elevorn Aug 29 2012, 5:32pm
                Absolutely! entmaiden Send a private message to entmaiden Aug 29 2012, 5:43pm
        Hi sinister Shelob'sAppetite Send a private message to Shelob'sAppetite Aug 29 2012, 5:05pm
            I wouldn't be without them - geordie Send a private message to geordie Aug 29 2012, 6:06pm
    Thanks for the guidelines. Escapist Send a private message to Escapist Aug 29 2012, 4:36pm
    I confess Kangi Ska Send a private message to Kangi Ska Aug 29 2012, 5:29pm
        That must have been hard... glad you finally came clean. SirDennisC Send a private message to SirDennisC Aug 29 2012, 5:38pm
        Nice to see you around these parts Kangi. Maiarmike Send a private message to Maiarmike Aug 29 2012, 10:11pm
            I have been bighting my tongue. Kangi Ska Send a private message to Kangi Ska Aug 30 2012, 1:30am
    I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to mods/admins, and users (either regular or not) for breaking any of these rules DanielLB Send a private message to DanielLB Aug 29 2012, 6:43pm
        Are you still passing out the "ignore cards"? AlassŽa Eruvande Send a private message to AlassŽa Eruvande Aug 29 2012, 7:27pm
            Oh, most definitely! DanielLB Send a private message to DanielLB Aug 29 2012, 7:55pm
                So its good for imin Send a private message to imin Aug 29 2012, 7:57pm
                    I'll make it fairer, you can choose which 5 posts to ignore! ;-P / DanielLB Send a private message to DanielLB Aug 29 2012, 8:01pm
                Better gimme a handful, then. AlassŽa Eruvande Send a private message to AlassŽa Eruvande Aug 29 2012, 11:22pm
    *Guiltily raises hand* Apologies... Aragorn the Elfstone Send a private message to Aragorn the Elfstone Aug 29 2012, 6:57pm
    I want to add that i am sorry for any part i have played in this and meant no offense to anyone // imin Send a private message to imin Aug 29 2012, 7:38pm
    I apologize as well... Captain Salt Send a private message to Captain Salt Aug 30 2012, 12:53am
    Apologies Ziggy Stardust Send a private message to Ziggy Stardust Aug 30 2012, 2:05am
    Reading over the whole list Shelob'sAppetite Send a private message to Shelob'sAppetite Aug 30 2012, 3:37am
        My name is geordie geordie Send a private message to geordie Aug 30 2012, 12:11pm
            Geordie macfalk Send a private message to macfalk Aug 30 2012, 5:09pm
                Not to worry - geordie Send a private message to geordie Aug 31 2012, 7:39pm
                    That is good to hear macfalk Send a private message to macfalk Sep 1 2012, 11:52am
    Well worded, as usual, Silverlode. Patty Send a private message to Patty Aug 31 2012, 6:55pm
    Thank you for posting this! Radagast-Aiwendil Send a private message to Radagast-Aiwendil Aug 31 2012, 8:21pm
    mods up sevilodorf Send a private message to sevilodorf Aug 31 2012, 11:32pm
    O.O hadn't really realised about this souring forum mood!... thanks, I'll be on best behaviour ;¨) // Xanaseb Send a private message to Xanaseb Sep 1 2012, 11:54am
    Ha Ha Ugly Troll Send a private message to Ugly Troll Sep 3 2012, 5:16pm
        Hi! sador Send a private message to sador Sep 3 2012, 7:23pm
            The elf-maiden appreciates your kind words and returns your greetings\ Ugly Troll Send a private message to Ugly Troll Sep 7 2012, 12:43am
    Congratulations on that well-crafted reminder - Greenwood Hobbit Send a private message to Greenwood Hobbit Sep 3 2012, 8:13pm
    Thank you, Silverlode Loresilme Send a private message to Loresilme Sep 4 2012, 3:06pm
    I love TORn... weaver Send a private message to weaver Sep 5 2012, 3:19am
    And this is why... diedye Send a private message to diedye Sep 6 2012, 3:41pm
    What I've noticed - SirDennisC Send a private message to SirDennisC Sep 24 2012, 1:40am
        Agreed Shelob'sAppetite Send a private message to Shelob'sAppetite Sep 24 2012, 3:00am
        Don't be rude hutch Send a private message to hutch Jan 4 2013, 1:41am
    Agreement! hobbit N.Z Send a private message to hobbit N.Z Oct 12 2012, 6:13am
        Thanks, and welcome! Silverlode Send a private message to Silverlode Oct 13 2012, 3:52am
    I'm new, but so far I'm enjoying the pleasant atmosphere here Refurin Send a private message to Refurin Oct 18 2012, 12:41am
    Well stated.... Glaurung63 Send a private message to Glaurung63 Nov 12 2012, 9:03pm
    The most refreshing post I've seen in a long time sara Send a private message to sara Dec 16 2012, 1:26pm
        Sara! dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Dec 16 2012, 1:45pm
            Hi Dernwyn sara Send a private message to sara Dec 17 2012, 7:04pm
    bleah TheRealBeren Send a private message to TheRealBeren Dec 17 2012, 7:52pm
    Oh dear....I broke several...Will strive not to do that again ByThorinsBeard Send a private message to ByThorinsBeard Mar 23 2013, 3:13pm
        Bomby Loves YouALL too Much! Bombadil Send a private message to Bombadil Apr 12 2013, 12:29am
    Is anyone else a bit tired of the uncivil complaining about people complaining? Captain Salt Send a private message to Captain Salt Jun 17 2013, 9:17pm
        Nature of complaints Na Vedui Send a private message to Na Vedui Jun 17 2013, 10:23pm
            Understandable, and I hope PJ and Co. are not offended by what they read on here... Captain Salt Send a private message to Captain Salt Jun 17 2013, 10:41pm
                Well yes... Na Vedui Send a private message to Na Vedui Jun 17 2013, 10:52pm
        Thing is Lusitano Send a private message to Lusitano Jun 17 2013, 10:24pm
            There's also a number of regulars entmaiden Send a private message to entmaiden Jun 20 2013, 9:16pm
                For what it may be worth - geordie Send a private message to geordie Jun 25 2013, 8:57pm
                    But we still love you in the Reading Room :-) Elizabeth Send a private message to Elizabeth Jun 25 2013, 10:48pm
                        Very kind of you to say so - geordie Send a private message to geordie Jun 26 2013, 12:11pm
                Well those posters Lusitano Send a private message to Lusitano Jun 30 2013, 4:46pm
                    well this forum is certainly the politest Elenorflower Send a private message to Elenorflower Jun 30 2013, 5:37pm
                    psst.... dormouse Send a private message to dormouse Jun 30 2013, 7:13pm
            Well, what I'm hearing lately (general response) Silverlode Send a private message to Silverlode Jul 1 2013, 5:59am
                Ditto Altaira Send a private message to Altaira Jul 1 2013, 11:54am
                *sigh* So many opportunities Eowyn of Penns Woods Send a private message to Eowyn of Penns Woods Jul 1 2013, 5:53pm
                    I love that. Silverlode Send a private message to Silverlode Jul 1 2013, 7:24pm
        BTW, wanted to say: Captain Salt Send a private message to Captain Salt Jun 17 2013, 10:35pm
        What I take issue with... Rostron2 Send a private message to Rostron2 Jul 1 2013, 5:01pm
    Just reread this to refresh memory The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Jun 17 2013, 11:06pm
    I wanted to repeat myself here. Arannir Send a private message to Arannir Oct 29 2013, 7:46pm
        I've noticed... Elskidor Send a private message to Elskidor Nov 6 2013, 1:47pm
            I dont understand what you mean by Smeagol Bagginsess Send a private message to Smeagol Bagginsess Nov 7 2013, 5:57am
                Don't mind me Elskidor Send a private message to Elskidor Nov 7 2013, 9:35am
    Courtesy in all things Clarella Send a private message to Clarella Dec 6 2013, 10:11pm
        Welcome, Clarella! Lissuin Send a private message to Lissuin Dec 6 2013, 10:52pm
    Is it possible wonderinglinguist Send a private message to wonderinglinguist Feb 14, 12:31am
        Thanks - sorry for the belated reply entmaiden Send a private message to entmaiden Feb 18, 5:50pm

 
 
 

Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.