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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Cannon Practice:
Aragorn vs Captain Kirk

NoseOfSauron
Powder Monkey


Oct 24 2007, 1:58am

Post #1 of 16 (3409 views)
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Aragorn vs Captain Kirk Can't Post

They both have the same weapon, be it a phaser or a sword... who do you think would win?

If Gandalf could just jump on an eagle and fly into Mordor... WHY THE BLOODY HELL DIDN'T HE DO IT THREE MOVIES AGO!?!


Idril Celebrindal
Sailing Master


Oct 24 2007, 5:30pm

Post #2 of 16 (621 views)
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Does that cheesy Star Trek fight music play during the battle? [In reply to] Can't Post

Who wins depends on the weapon.

If it's swords, Aragorn mops the floor with Kirk. If it's phasers, Kirk mops the floor with Aragorn. If it's a fistfight, I'd go with Aragorn simply because he's got the advantage of height and reach on Kirk, not to mention that he's probably in better physical condition (having spent his days stomping around Middle-earth and fighting orcs instead of sitting in a captain's chair and seducing space babes).

However, one thing's for sure: regardless of who wins, Kirk will get his shirt torn at some point during the fight.

Beam me up, Scotty ....

With caffeine, all things are possible.

The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.

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NoseOfSauron
Powder Monkey


Oct 24 2007, 6:08pm

Post #3 of 16 (649 views)
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Yes, the ST fight music plays [In reply to] Can't Post

Then later, when Aragorn gets home to Arwen, he finds her in bed with Kirk.

If Gandalf could just jump on an eagle and fly into Mordor... WHY IN THE NAME OF ERU DIDN'T HE DO IT THREE MOVIES AGO!?!


Patty
Captain


Oct 24 2007, 10:12pm

Post #4 of 16 (616 views)
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IPut me down for Aragorn... [In reply to] Can't Post

unless Kirk has a phaser. He's more agile looking and he acts smarter, even if Kirk DID graduate from Starfleet Academy--Aragorn was schooled by thousand year old elves!

And re: Gandalf and Gwaihir flying to Mordor-- they were so big that they woulda been seen, ya know!Sly

For Gondor!


Dagonet
Able Seaman


Oct 26 2007, 2:16am

Post #5 of 16 (617 views)
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I'm thinking.... [In reply to] Can't Post

Aragorn would win.

Dagonet,
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shdows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.


Elberbeth
Sailing Master


Oct 26 2007, 7:54pm

Post #6 of 16 (768 views)
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Aragorn, just by virtue of his cheekbones.// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"There are some things that it is better to begin than to refuse, even though the end may be dark."


dernwyn
Terror of the Seas / Moderator


Oct 29 2007, 3:20am

Post #7 of 16 (537 views)
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Gettin' a bit cheeky, are you? ;-D // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915


Elberbeth
Sailing Master


Oct 29 2007, 4:52pm

Post #8 of 16 (553 views)
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Well, it's a family board [In reply to] Can't Post

so I won't mention his other cheeks!

"There are some things that it is better to begin than to refuse, even though the end may be dark."


Darkstone
Captain


Oct 31 2007, 7:42pm

Post #9 of 16 (552 views)
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Aragorn [In reply to] Can't Post

Kirk scurries all over like a madman looking for a way to make primitive gunpowder. However, Arwen quickly manages to distract him as a Girl of the Week ("What's this? A starship captain taken off his guard?") allowing Aragorn to do the decapitation thing that he does so well.

(At least it's more honorable and glorious than being killed by falling scaffolding.)

******************************************
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.



Tyler
Able Seaman


Nov 25 2007, 1:47pm

Post #10 of 16 (673 views)
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Can they use the volcan death grip? [In reply to] Can't Post

I think it depends on weapons also.

P.S. sorry i don't know how to spill volcan

Never doubt that a small group of peple can change the world indeed,that is the onely thing that ever has......Margaret mead


GOOMBA
Swabbie


Dec 17 2007, 12:25am

Post #11 of 16 (507 views)
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kirk would win [In reply to] Can't Post

if he had a phaser and aragorn had a sword

Yes, that is a Wario Hat.
And here is Wario:



deej
Sailing Master


Dec 17 2007, 12:44am

Post #12 of 16 (733 views)
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As long as Aragorn isn't wearing a red shirt [In reply to] Can't Post

...during the fight, I think he would clean the floor with Kirk. Wink

Sincerely, deej - The Artist Formerly Known as djdeathskiss


Goldberry
Swabbie


Dec 19 2007, 10:31pm

Post #13 of 16 (460 views)
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Lovely! [In reply to] Can't Post

I can so see Arwen saying just that...and the look on Jim Kirk's face just before his head is separated cleanly from his shoulders. Love it!


Goldberry
Swabbie


Dec 19 2007, 10:33pm

Post #14 of 16 (593 views)
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It depends... [In reply to] Can't Post

If weapons were involved, I say Aragorn all the way.

Now, if it were a game of Fizzbin, on the other hand, I think Kirk would be a shoe-in. Laugh


laughing1blue6dolphin
Swabbie

May 17 2008, 5:41pm

Post #15 of 16 (2885 views)
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its vulcan [In reply to] Can't Post

and its not a death grip its a nerve pinch unfourtunat person falls to the ground unconsious and kirk cant do it even though spock tryed to teach him several times


AncalagontheBlack
Rigger

Jun 29 2013, 2:57pm

Post #16 of 16 (41 views)
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kirk [In reply to] Can't Post

 

 
 

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