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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: The Arena:
Middle-Earth's strongest man- erm... well... whatever!

the artist formerly known as sparki

Sep 23 2007, 5:39pm

Post #1 of 7 (4473 views)
Middle-Earth's strongest man- erm... well... whatever! Can't Post

Pick your own entrants- anyone from Middle-Earth and its entire history is eligible.

Give me the events- what do they have to do?

Who wins? And what are their victory celebrations?

Who has the most supportive fan base at the compettion?

And if it helps... yes, they can take their shirts off. Wink

Yes, I used to be sparki.

Idril Celebrindal
Tol Eressea

Sep 27 2007, 6:10pm

Post #2 of 7 (1187 views)
And the envelope please .... [In reply to] Can't Post

I can think of a couple of likely winners of the "Arda's Strongest Man" competition.

Among immortal beings, it's gotta be Tulkas, renowned for his strength and endurance even among the Valar. Even Morgoth fled when Tulkas went on the warpath! Mountains fall when he takes his shirt off to reveal muscles upon upon muscles upon muscles ....

... um, where were we? Oh, yes. Strong men.

Among mortal beings, I would give the strongman award to the Stone Giants of "The Hobbit," who live in the Misty Mountains and amuse themselves by throwing immense boulders at one other. This could produce quite a physique.

The Ents would be first runners-up in the strongman competition for their impressive destruction of Isengard and ability to smash iron as if it were tinfoil. However, I don't think anyone except an Entwife would get excited if an Ent removed his moss, bark, leaves, or whatever it is they cover themselves with.

The winner gets a trophy so big that only he can lift it! Victory celebration involves mass quantities of red meat, beer and Entdraught, with lovely Maiar, Valier, Giantesses, and Entwives to cheer on their heroes.

With caffeine, all things are possible.

The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.

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(This post was edited by Idril Celebrindal on Sep 27 2007, 6:16pm)

SandWitch King

Oct 5 2007, 4:51am

Post #3 of 7 (1130 views)
Hall of Fame response - loved it! {NT} [In reply to] Can't Post


No wonder all writers want to direct: one still has to put up with a load of nonsense, but even if wearing two hats (writer and director), there is one under which one is not called a thief and then raped - David Mamet

The Shire

Oct 31 2007, 8:10pm

Post #4 of 7 (889 views)
Hobbit Bashing [In reply to] Can't Post

Contestants : Shagrat, Saruman, Mouth of Sauron

Rules: bash as many hobbits as you can while making your way through a Shire obstacle course.

So many strange things have chanced that to learn the praise of a fair lady under the loving strokes of a Dwarf's axe will seem no great wonder


Nov 1 2007, 1:26pm

Post #5 of 7 (876 views)
Eowyn of course! [In reply to] Can't Post

Yanking fat hobbits off the ground with just a single arm while at a full gallop, guiding a spirited horse of the Rohirrim with just the strength of her knees, pulling swords right out of the firm grasp of big strong orcs, taking down huge mūmakil with just two swipes to the kneecaps, decapitating a massive fell beast with just a couple of cuts of a sword, and being able to function at all after being whacked with the biggest honking morningstar in the history of history. No wonder they called her The Lady of the Shield Arm!

No contest!!

The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”

Beren IV

Dec 16 2007, 6:43am

Post #6 of 7 (4707 views)
Indeed [In reply to] Can't Post

And also, what do you mean by 'strength'? A river of molten lava or a tsunami crashing on the shores generates a tremendous amount of force. Are we just talking the elf-like bodies of the Valar, or are we talking the Valar?

Once a paleontologist, now a botanist, will be a paleobotanist


Jun 29 2013, 2:58pm

Post #7 of 7 (172 views)
beorn [In reply to] Can't Post



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