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The One Ring Forums: Off Topic: The Pollantir:
How many orcs would it take to kill Chuck Norris.
Poll: How many orcs would it take to kill Chuck Norris.
50
100
500
1,000
5,000
10,000
50,000
1,000,000
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor
I HATE CHUCK NORRIS JOKES
View Results (44 votes)
 

tolkiennerd
Lorien


Dec 8 2011, 5:58pm

Post #1 of 17 (631 views)
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How many orcs would it take to kill Chuck Norris. Can't Post

 


Faenoriel
Tol Eressea


Dec 8 2011, 8:55pm

Post #2 of 17 (332 views)
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I hate Chuck Norris jokes! [In reply to] Can't Post

Seriously, guys, seriously. Just.... no.


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Dec 8 2011, 8:59pm

Post #3 of 17 (315 views)
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Let's be honest [In reply to] Can't Post

Sam was able to scare a couple of orcs with a glowing sword and his shadow. Chuck Norris wouldn't even need the sword.


Darkstone
Immortal


Dec 8 2011, 9:16pm

Post #4 of 17 (344 views)
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The square root of negative one. [In reply to] Can't Post

Because only an imaginary number of anything could kill Chuck Norris.

BTW:

All we have to decide is what to do with the time Chuck Norris has given us.

Never laugh at live dragons. And live dragons never laugh at Chuck Norris.

Oft evil will shall evil mar. And always Chuck Norris will shall evil mar.

The cause of Bent Seas, Bent Skies, and The World Made Round was just one single roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.


Donry
Tol Eressea


Dec 9 2011, 4:19am

Post #5 of 17 (325 views)
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There is no amount of Orcs... [In reply to] Can't Post

that can kill Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented his own kind of karate,it's called Chuck-Will-Kill
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC,claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won.
Chuck Norris shot the sherriff, but he round-house kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack, his heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


AlassŽa Eruvande
Valinor


Dec 9 2011, 7:56pm

Post #6 of 17 (322 views)
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"...There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful..." [In reply to] Can't Post

Because it's scared of Chuck Norris!


Maiarmike
Grey Havens


Dec 10 2011, 4:21am

Post #7 of 17 (487 views)
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Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection. [In reply to] Can't Post

Wink


ByThorinsBeard
Rohan


Dec 11 2011, 10:47pm

Post #8 of 17 (263 views)
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Orcs smorcs! [In reply to] Can't Post

Chuck Norris will kill them all.


sevilodorf
Grey Havens


Dec 12 2011, 4:33am

Post #9 of 17 (273 views)
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Only bad reviews will kill Chuck [In reply to] Can't Post

and even then he'd find a niche audience and continue on and on....sort of like Michael Myers or Freddie or Jason ....


acheron
Gondor


Dec 13 2011, 1:59pm

Post #10 of 17 (306 views)
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where there's a whip, there's a way, but where there's Chuck Norris, there's an orc that's been roundhouse kicked // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


sador
Half-elven


Dec 15 2011, 11:41am

Post #11 of 17 (273 views)
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The one who put the "laughter" in "manslaughter"? // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


One Ringer
Tol Eressea


Dec 15 2011, 2:10pm

Post #12 of 17 (309 views)
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I have to admit, [In reply to] Can't Post

I like the joke used here, and I used to enjoy the occasional Chuck Norris quips, but their overuse and refusal to end just gives me a general distaste for them. They can still be funny, don't get me wrong, they're just so repetitive and pointless, in my opinion.


Niniel Valinor
Rivendell


Dec 30 2011, 10:26pm

Post #13 of 17 (228 views)
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What is it about Chuck Norris jokes? [In reply to] Can't Post

Why are there Chuck Norris jokes at all? LOL. Someone please explain??
I've been wondering about this since last year (2010) when I was in Dublin at the Guinness factory and one fella' got his diploma signed as Chuck Norris ^__- lol


Donry
Tol Eressea


Dec 31 2011, 4:45pm

Post #14 of 17 (208 views)
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Well, [In reply to] Can't Post

I don't know if there is any one real instant that spawned the Chuck Norris jokes. But it is his career mostly. The guy has not changed his look since the '70's, he has been identical for decades! And in his tv show, Walker Texas Ranger, he seemed to solve every issue with a 'roundhouse kick', in some sort of fight. So the 'Chuck Norris' myth has taken on a life of its own, he's just the toughest guy ever (tongue-in-cheek of course). I just hope he's making some cash off all the t-shirts...


silneldor
Half-elven


Jan 5 2012, 6:06pm

Post #15 of 17 (247 views)
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Oh wise one i have a question.. [In reply to] Can't Post

How many orcs would it take to lift Chuck Norris to screw in a light bulb?


Darkstone
Immortal


Jan 6 2012, 1:17am

Post #16 of 17 (220 views)
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None. [In reply to] Can't Post

Because no orc is brave or crazy enough to be in the dark with Chuck Norris.

And Chuck Norris doesn't need light, light needs Chuck Norris, so the light bulb would fix itself.


Kangi Ska
Half-elven


Jan 6 2012, 11:39am

Post #17 of 17 (229 views)
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One. [In reply to] Can't Post

 

 
 

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