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Alassëa Eruvande
Doriath
Oct 13 2011, 5:07pm
Post #1 of 32
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Steam From The Hat
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Er, Scenes From The Hat.
Greetings, my fine feathered TORnadoes, and welcome to another edition of SFTH. In honor of my new found appreciation of steampunk I thought we could have some fun with LOTR. Now, before you get all in an uproar, and say that the good Professor exactly loathed this sort of tom foolery with the machines and the gadgets, just pause to remember we've also speculated what LOTR would be like had it been written by one Mr. George Lucas.  
So, what would a Steampunk LOTR be like? Would Lobelia's umbrella now possess certain brass accoutrements designed to inflict severe distress upon Sharkey's men? Perhaps poison-misting attachments? Would the "plot hole" now be Why didn't Gandalf just take a steam powered ornithopter to Mt. Doom and drop in the Ring? And just what about that Ring?
And suddenly the Tornadoes saw afar off a greenlight, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame;
and they knew that this was no vision only, but that PJ had made a new thing: The Hobbit, the Film that Is.
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Darkstone
Elvenhome
Oct 13 2011, 6:11pm
Post #2 of 32
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Shelob's husband was Dr. Miguelito Loveless. /
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******************************************
How many months to Hobbiton?
Six and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.
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Darkstone
Elvenhome
Oct 13 2011, 6:15pm
Post #3 of 32
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Cirdan the Shipwright's original name was actually Nemo, not Nowe. /
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******************************************
How many months to Hobbiton?
Six and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.
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Darkstone
Elvenhome
Oct 13 2011, 6:20pm
Post #4 of 32
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The Elf Lords were collectively known as The League of Extraordinary Eledhrim. /
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******************************************
How many months to Hobbiton?
Six and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Oct 13 2011, 6:51pm
Post #5 of 32
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There actually was a Bywater express train. /
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Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Lily Fairbairn
Gondolin
Oct 13 2011, 7:07pm
Post #6 of 32
(2137 views)
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* * * * * * *
Do we walk in legends or on the green earth in the daylight?
A man may do both. For not we but those who come after will make the legends of our time. The green earth, say you? That is a mighty matter of legend, though you tread it under the light of day!
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Dor-Lomin
Oct 13 2011, 9:47pm
Post #7 of 32
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When all seemed lost, Aragorn and his forces arrived on a Mark Twain-style steamer, singing [basso:] "O-O-OLD MA-A-AN RIVER-R-R-R...!" //
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"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."
(This post was edited by Ruxendil_Thoorg on Oct 13 2011, 9:48pm)
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weaver
Gondolin
Oct 13 2011, 10:46pm
Post #8 of 32
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Frodo and Sam would have had 80 days to get to Mordor and back...//
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Weaver
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Dor-Lomin
Oct 14 2011, 3:29am
Post #12 of 32
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That scary, roving Eye atop that ominous dark tower? just a lighthouse the whole time. //
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"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."
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titanium_hobbit
Nargothrond
Oct 14 2011, 3:47am
Post #13 of 32
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Cause if we can, I totally want the ring wraiths to wear black leather and ride motor cycles.
Hobbit firster, Book firster.
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Elven
Doriath
Oct 14 2011, 12:03pm
Post #14 of 32
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PJ would be filming 'Journey to the Centre of The Lonely Mountain' & Rick Wakeman would be doing the soundtrack instead of Howard Shore//
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Elven
Doriath
Oct 14 2011, 12:04pm
Post #15 of 32
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Elven
Doriath
Oct 14 2011, 12:10pm
Post #16 of 32
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... a parasol, a fob watch and some pithy Victorian 2 piece suit.//
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Arandiel
Hithlum
Oct 14 2011, 3:56pm
Post #17 of 32
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Tom Bombadil would have an uber-cool lab in the middle of a truly epic junkyard//
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Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - getting thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit from Bag End to the Lonely Mountain
Join us, Thursdays on Main!
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Eowyn of Penns Woods
Doriath
Oct 14 2011, 4:34pm
Post #18 of 32
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And not just because simply seeing the word st**mp*nk always makes me want to kick somebody in an area of the body I cannot mention on TORn. ;)
**********************************
Who's the coverdwarf now, prettyboy!
NARF
NABOUF
Not a TORns*b!
Certified Curmudgeon
Knitting Knerd
NARF: NWtS Chapter Member since June 17,2011
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Elven
Doriath
Oct 14 2011, 8:31pm
Post #20 of 32
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Dr Grordborts Pomson 6000 - Flame of the West! //
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Dor-Lomin
Oct 15 2011, 1:32am
Post #21 of 32
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Whaddya know: the Palantir network really *is* a series of tubes! //
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"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Dor-Lomin
Oct 15 2011, 1:39am
Post #22 of 32
(2140 views)
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No more "Nine-fingered Frodo" with his new prosthetic, which he can switch to "flamethrower" mode at will.//
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"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."
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Plurmo
Nargothrond
Oct 15 2011, 3:28am
Post #23 of 32
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With Gertrude as the quacking trush! //
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Plurmo
Nargothrond
Oct 15 2011, 3:28am
Post #24 of 32
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Poor Saruman would get charred hair and beard...
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...everytime he had a chat with Sauron. Instead of Saruman of Many Colours we would have Saruman of Many Burns.
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Oct 15 2011, 3:59am
Post #25 of 32
(2105 views)
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Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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