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Steam From The Hat
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AlassŽa Eruvande
Valinor


Oct 13 2011, 5:07pm

Post #1 of 32 (917 views)
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Steam From The Hat Can't Post

Er, Scenes From The Hat.

Greetings, my fine feathered TORnadoes, and welcome to another edition of SFTH. In honor of my new found appreciation of steampunk I thought we could have some fun with LOTR. Now, before you get all in an uproar, and say that the good Professor exactly loathed this sort of tom foolery with the machines and the gadgets, just pause to remember we've also speculated what LOTR would be like had it been written by one Mr. George Lucas. TongueAngelic

So, what would a Steampunk LOTR be like? Would Lobelia's umbrella now possess certain brass accoutrements designed to inflict severe distress upon Sharkey's men? Perhaps poison-misting attachments? Would the "plot hole" now be Why didn't Gandalf just take a steam powered ornithopter to Mt. Doom and drop in the Ring? And just what about that Ring?



And suddenly the Tornadoes saw afar off a greenlight, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame;
and they knew that this was no vision only, but that PJ had made a new thing: The Hobbit, the Film that Is.


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 13 2011, 6:11pm

Post #2 of 32 (243 views)
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Shelob's husband was Dr. Miguelito Loveless. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
How many months to Hobbiton?
Six and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 13 2011, 6:15pm

Post #3 of 32 (253 views)
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Cirdan the Shipwright's original name was actually Nemo, not Nowe. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
How many months to Hobbiton?
Six and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 13 2011, 6:20pm

Post #4 of 32 (246 views)
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The Elf Lords were collectively known as The League of Extraordinary Eledhrim. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
How many months to Hobbiton?
Six and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Oct 13 2011, 6:51pm

Post #5 of 32 (235 views)
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There actually was a Bywater express train. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Lily Fairbairn
Half-elven


Oct 13 2011, 7:07pm

Post #6 of 32 (227 views)
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*mods up!*// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

* * * * * * *
Do we walk in legends or on the green earth in the daylight?

A man may do both. For not we but those who come after will make the legends of our time. The green earth, say you? That is a mighty matter of legend, though you tread it under the light of day!


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens

Oct 13 2011, 9:47pm

Post #7 of 32 (250 views)
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When all seemed lost, Aragorn and his forces arrived on a Mark Twain-style steamer, singing [basso:] "O-O-OLD MA-A-AN RIVER-R-R-R...!" // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."

(This post was edited by Ruxendil_Thoorg on Oct 13 2011, 9:48pm)


weaver
Half-elven

Oct 13 2011, 10:46pm

Post #8 of 32 (230 views)
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Frodo and Sam would have had 80 days to get to Mordor and back...// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Weaver




Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Oct 13 2011, 11:31pm

Post #9 of 32 (215 views)
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One does not simply walk into Mordor... without goggles // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


How will you get to the Lonely Mountain?
Help TORn log enough miles to get us to Smaug's home by Dec. 2013
Walk to Rivendell - Thursdays on Main

My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Oct 13 2011, 11:36pm

Post #10 of 32 (282 views)
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The sword that was broken has been remade. And we added a 'lightening' feature! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


How will you get to the Lonely Mountain?
Help TORn log enough miles to get us to Smaug's home by Dec. 2013
Walk to Rivendell - Thursdays on Main

My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven


Oct 14 2011, 12:29am

Post #11 of 32 (299 views)
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Gollum is a Morlock // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


How will you get to the Lonely Mountain?
Help TORn log enough miles to get us to Smaug's home by Dec. 2013
Walk to Rivendell - Thursdays on Main

My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens

Oct 14 2011, 3:29am

Post #12 of 32 (231 views)
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That scary, roving Eye atop that ominous dark tower? just a lighthouse the whole time. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."


titanium_hobbit
Rohan


Oct 14 2011, 3:47am

Post #13 of 32 (274 views)
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can we do dieselpunk? [In reply to] Can't Post

Cause if we can, I totally want the ring wraiths to wear black leather and ride motor cycles.

Hobbit firster, Book firster.


Elven
Valinor


Oct 14 2011, 12:03pm

Post #14 of 32 (220 views)
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PJ would be filming 'Journey to the Centre of The Lonely Mountain' & Rick Wakeman would be doing the soundtrack instead of Howard Shore// [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Elven
Valinor


Oct 14 2011, 12:04pm

Post #15 of 32 (219 views)
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LOL!!! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Elven
Valinor


Oct 14 2011, 12:10pm

Post #16 of 32 (270 views)
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... a parasol, a fob watch and some pithy Victorian 2 piece suit.// [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Arandiel
Grey Havens

Oct 14 2011, 3:56pm

Post #17 of 32 (229 views)
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Tom Bombadil would have an uber-cool lab in the middle of a truly epic junkyard// [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - getting thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit from Bag End to the Lonely Mountain

Join us, Thursdays on Main!


Eowyn of Penns Woods
Valinor


Oct 14 2011, 4:34pm

Post #18 of 32 (186 views)
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Yes, please! [In reply to] Can't Post

And not just because simply seeing the word st**mp*nk always makes me want to kick somebody in an area of the body I cannot mention on TORn. ;)

**********************************

Who's the coverdwarf now, prettyboy!

NARF
NABOUF
Not a TORns*b!
Certified Curmudgeon
Knitting Knerd
NARF: NWtS Chapter Member since June 17,2011


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Oct 14 2011, 7:01pm

Post #19 of 32 (193 views)
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Frodo and Sam would be rescued by dirigibles // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

sample

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.




TORn's Observations Lists
Unused Scenes



Elven
Valinor


Oct 14 2011, 8:31pm

Post #20 of 32 (229 views)
Shortcut
Dr Grordborts Pomson 6000 - Flame of the West! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens

Oct 15 2011, 1:32am

Post #21 of 32 (185 views)
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Whaddya know: the Palantir network really *is* a series of tubes! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens

Oct 15 2011, 1:39am

Post #22 of 32 (225 views)
Shortcut
No more "Nine-fingered Frodo" with his new prosthetic, which he can switch to "flamethrower" mode at will.// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."


Plurmo
Rohan

Oct 15 2011, 3:28am

Post #23 of 32 (194 views)
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With Gertrude as the quacking trush! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Plurmo
Rohan

Oct 15 2011, 3:28am

Post #24 of 32 (235 views)
Shortcut
Poor Saruman would get charred hair and beard... [In reply to] Can't Post

...everytime he had a chat with Sauron. Instead of Saruman of Many Colours we would have Saruman of Many Burns.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Oct 15 2011, 3:59am

Post #25 of 32 (194 views)
Shortcut
I want to see this movie. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories

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