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Parody: ARAGORN [Smash Mouth’s “All Star”]

Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens

Sep 4 2011, 1:37pm


Views: 393
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Parody: ARAGORN [Smash Mouth’s “All Star”] Can't Post

I couldn't help but notice recently that Aragorn's story, his various names, and certain lines from the "All that is gold does not glitter" poem about him, seemed to fit neatly into Smash Mouth's "All Star". I was hoping to render it with a bit more chronological accuracy, but since it's framed as mostly flashback, I was hoping it wouldn't matter too much. So here goes, yet another parody attempt by me:

ARAGORN [Smash Mouth’s “All Star”]

Somebody once taught you to trek the range before you
You wore a broken sword at your belt
You were looking kind of dirty you never changed your shirt,
It was the grimiest you had ever felt

Well the wraiths were coming to the Shire they kept coming
Had to hunt Gollum so you hit the ground running
Couldn’t have Arwen ‘cuz her dad said: Son,
To win her hand, gotta win your kingdom.
So much to do so much to see
So you helped the lads with the hair-feet
You’ll never wed if you don’t go
You’ll never rule if you don’t grow

Hey now, you’re Elessar, got your crown on, go reign
Hey now, you’re Telcontar, now your clothes are unstained
And all that glitters ain’t gold
Withers not the strong despite being old

It’s a dark place and they say it gets creepy
You took the fell road where the dead they weren’t sleepy
And the Oathbreakers begged your forgiveness
Judging by the deluge of skulls, they meant business.
At the Mordor gate, your patience wore thin
Your forces played a bluff just to take the Eye in
The Orodruin fire, how it glowed,
That’s what you were waiting for to finally explode

Hey now, you’re Elessar, meaning Elfstone, not jade
Hey now, you’re Telcontar, now you’re sword’s been remade
And all that glitters ain’t gold
Withers not the strong . . . .

Some Hobbits once said they see trouble up ahead
They need your help get them to Rivendell
You thought yep, what a concept
Arwen’s there, you wanna go yourself
Where you once bore the name Estel . . . .

Well the Orcs kept coming to the Deep they kept coming
Shove the siege ladders so they hit the ground sudden
Couldn’t give Éowyn that which she sought
She offered her heart but you gave her naught
So much to do so much to see
With a Dwarf, and Elf with the fast feet
A light from the shadows shall spring
The crownless again shall be king

Hey now, you’re Elessar, throne of Gondor reclaimed,
Hey now, you’re Telcontar, that’s your royal house name
And all that glitters ain’t gold
Healing hands are yours, as foretold.

Hey now, you’re Elessar, meaning Elfstone, not jade
Hey now, you’re Telcontar, now you’re sword’s been remade
And all that glitters ain’t gold
Withers not the strong despite being old.

Hey now, you’re Elessar, got your crown on, go reign
Hey now, you’re Telcontar, now your clothes are unstained
And all that glitters ain’t gold
Withers not the strong, the tale’s been told.

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."

Subject User Time
Parody: ARAGORN [Smash Mouth’s “All Star”] Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Sep 4 2011, 1:37pm
    (wildly enthusiastic applause) Lissuin Send a private message to Lissuin Sep 4 2011, 4:13pm
    It's not you, it's me. Otaku-sempai Send a private message to Otaku-sempai Sep 4 2011, 6:05pm
    *applauds madly* Perfect! dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Sep 4 2011, 8:40pm
    wow KAOS82 Send a private message to KAOS82 Sep 4 2011, 10:09pm
    Thanks so much! with hotlink to source song w/ lyrics Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Sep 5 2011, 1:21pm
    This is one of the best stories grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Sep 5 2011, 4:49pm
    Love it! Alassëa Eruvande Send a private message to Alassëa Eruvande Sep 5 2011, 5:57pm
    You should publish a book... Gollum the Great Sep 6 2011, 3:06pm
        Sincere thanks Ruxendil_Thoorg Send a private message to Ruxendil_Thoorg Sep 6 2011, 6:44pm

 
 
 

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