Our Sponsor Sideshow Collectibles Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien
Do you enjoy the 100% volunteer, not for profit services of TheOneRing.net?
Consider a donation!

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main:
MORIA, a parody-tribute (to the tune of Hotel California by the Eagles)

Grey Havens

Aug 27 2011, 8:12pm

Post #1 of 10 (492 views)
MORIA, a parody-tribute (to the tune of Hotel California by the Eagles) Can't Post

This parody-tribute was inspired by a post by Arandiel entitled "Hotel Moria" under the Saruman-with-guitar caption contest. Arandiel, this is for you.

MORIA, performed by the Eagles

(featuring Thorondor Henley on drums/vocals, Gwaihir Frey on guitar, Landroval "Dro" Walsh on guitar, Tim "Moth" Meneldor-Schmidt on bass)

To the tune of Hotel California by the Eagles

In a dark Dwarven mine-way
Without wind in our hair
Foul smell of detritus
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
The paths split left, down, and right
Our heads grew heavy and our sight grew dim
We had to stop for the night.

[DRUMS:] Doom! Doom!

The Watcher had blocked the doorway
Our wizard took the helm
And we were thinking to ourselves
“This could be Ûdun, not the Blessed Realm”
Then he lit up a crystal
And he showed us the way
Orcs were drumming down the corridor
We thought we heard them say:

Welcome to the Orc-infested Moria!
Such a lovely place
For your burial space.
Plenty of mithril to mine down here in Moria
Any time of year,
You can perish here.

The tunnels tortuously twisted,
They’ve got the Orc-laden bends,
We met a lot of pretty, pretty boys
If pretty means goblin rear-ends,
Drop a stone down a deep well,
Foo-oo-oo-ool of a Took!
I think they’ve got a cave troll,
Quick, let’s read Ori’s book….

Then came forth the chieftain,
Speared me through my right side.
I thought, if it hadn’t worn my mail-shirt here,
I would have surely died.
And still that Dimrill-gate waiting so far away
See the Orcs all scattering in fright
Of a Shadow and Flame.

Welcome to the Balrog-haunted Moria!
Such a lovely place,
Now it’s time to race!
Plenty of bottomless pits down here in Moria.
What a curious thing,
Does it have real wings?

With his staff and Glamdring
Standing over the crevasse,
He said, “I am a servant of the secret fire,
But forth the demon clambered,
And as the bridge broke anon,
Gandalf caught in that whip of flame,
“Fly you fools!” he cried, and was gone.

Last thing I remember, we were
Running for the door
We had to find the passage there
To the place we headed for.
“Relax,” said the Lady.
A sad lament did we hear.
“What’s it mean?” I heard Merry ask.
Legolas: “Nay, the grief is too near.”

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."

(This post was edited by Ruxendil_Thoorg on Aug 27 2011, 8:13pm)

Forum Admin / Moderator

Aug 27 2011, 8:28pm

Post #2 of 10 (218 views)
*applauds madly* and *mods up* [In reply to] Can't Post

Awesome, Ruxendil!

I think I like some of this better than the original! Laugh


"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915

Superuser / Moderator

Aug 27 2011, 9:23pm

Post #3 of 10 (184 views)
*huge applause* [In reply to] Can't Post

That's fantastic! And once again, the orcs' welcome leaves *a lot* to be desired!

Well done! :D

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.

Ataahua's stories

Eowyn of Penns Woods

Aug 28 2011, 12:17am

Post #4 of 10 (207 views)
Ditto that! // [In reply to] Can't Post



Who's the coverdwarf now, prettyboy!

Not a TORns*b!
Certified Curmudgeon
Knitting Knerd
NARF: NWtS Chapter Member since June 17,2011


Aug 28 2011, 3:27pm

Post #5 of 10 (200 views)
*mods up* WOW! [In reply to] Can't Post

That was AWESOME! You did the whole thing!!! I love that original song... and you've really brought it up a notch. WELL DONE!!!


I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.

TORn's Observations Lists
Unused Scenes

Tol Eressea

Aug 28 2011, 6:02pm

Post #6 of 10 (170 views)
*blinks* That was flipping brilliant! [In reply to] Can't Post

 Not only a perfect match of song to subject, but the implementation was awesome.

Well-played, Rux!


Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn.

Grey Havens

Aug 29 2011, 1:33am

Post #7 of 10 (270 views)
Thanks so much [In reply to] Can't Post

for your kind compliments, all posters above! ^^^ Also thanks to everybody who read it.

For those who liked this parody and has not yet read my previous one (which happened to be my very first post on this forum), called "The Second Age", I hope you'll take a moment to check it out:

http://newboards.theonering.net/...?post=384117;#384117 I hope you'll enjoy it as well.

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."


Aug 29 2011, 12:54pm

Post #8 of 10 (173 views)
agree, this is great Ruxendil! // [In reply to] Can't Post


"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you anywhere." - Albert Einstein.

Grey Havens

Aug 30 2011, 2:57am

Post #9 of 10 (204 views)
Brilliant! And for a thank-you mathom, [In reply to] Can't Post

here's a football (soccer) themed parody I did a while back


Wherever you go, there you are.

Grey Havens

Aug 30 2011, 4:53am

Post #10 of 10 (269 views)
LOL! [In reply to] Can't Post

just read it, thanks. It's a goal!

"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."


Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.