Our Sponsor Sideshow Collectibles Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien
Do you enjoy the 100% volunteer, not for profit services of TheOneRing.net?
Consider a donation!

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main:
**Founder's Day - Exercise in Absurdity (EIA) Quiz!

RosieLass
Valinor


Apr 26 2011, 3:49pm

Post #1 of 19 (546 views)
Shortcut
**Founder's Day - Exercise in Absurdity (EIA) Quiz! Can't Post

The point of this quiz is silliness, to let your hair down and let your imagination run riot. So have fun and give us your ridiculous and absurd!

Question 1.
Bilboís tea-party featured tea and ale and porter and coffee and red wine and cakes and buttered scones and eggs and raspberry jam and apple-tart and mince-pies and cheese and pork-pie and coldtongue-coldham-coldbeef-pickledgherkins-salad-frenchrolls-cresssandwiches-pottedmeat-gingerbeer-lemonade-sodawater.

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?

Question 2.
Fill in the blanks:

Stand by the grey _____ when the _____ knocks, and the _____ing _____ with the last _____ of Durinís _____ will shine upon the _____.

Question 3.
Unless youíve been living with Gollum, you are aware that a new character is being shoehorned introduced into the story: the Elvish lass Itaril. Speculation is rampant (mostly by yours truly) that this fair maiden is Legolasí kid sister, and that Thranduil sends Legolas to the battlefront, so that he can have a little peace and quiet at home.

In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring?

Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?

Question 5.
Tolkien does not specify the song that the Dwarves sing to Thorin at the Lonely Mountain to soothe his sulks. However, our tireless researchers have found a fragment of parchment with what appears to be the first verse and a line of the second verse of what could very well be this very song or one substantially similar.

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖ

Complete the second verse.

Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Show your work.



It is always those with the fewest sensible things to say who make the loudest noise in saying them. --Precious Ramotswe (Alexander McCall Smith)


glorinfidell
Bree


Apr 26 2011, 4:11pm

Post #2 of 19 (287 views)
Shortcut
Wow. I'm still laughing from the questions. [In reply to] Can't Post

Gloin was quite found of roast mutton. That is why the dwarves followed Bilbo into the troll campsite. Gloin smelled his favorite food.

Stand by the grey flower when the Baron knocks, and the jumping squirrel with the last sandwich of Durinís flashlight will shine upon the rather scary dragon.

Thrandiul made Legoals teach his little sister archery. Which Legolas hated.

The Dwarves were afriad of ents. They had a bad run in with one earlier.

I suck at songwriting so I'll skip question 5.

Ok... if we assume a eagle flap equals 3.14159 pony clops, and we also assume Middle Earth dosn't have time zones, and we assume no one runs into any trouble and we assume a Nazgul footsies can travel at a pace of 500 inches per second, and we assume said sparrow is a Eastern Sparrow, not a house sparrow, and we assuem its not a leap year, then, ummm... WHO CARES!

That was a fun quiz. Nicely done RosieLass!





(This post was edited by glorinfidell on Apr 26 2011, 4:11pm)


Rosie-with-the-ribbons
Forum Admin / Moderator


Apr 26 2011, 4:47pm

Post #3 of 19 (274 views)
Shortcut
Hihi, good ones [In reply to] Can't Post

Answer 1. Ha, Mrs. Gloin, making a lunchbox, are you kidding. Since you can't see the difference between men and women among the dwarves, dwarf men had to make their own lunch. And he liked cupcakes, especially with a nice lemon coating.

Answer 2. Stand by the grey chair when the guest knocks, and the sparkling sparkles with the last cupcake of Durinís lunchbox will shine upon the party.
Answer 3. He was not allowed to braid his hair for a whole day.


Answer 4. Do you know how hard it is to climb in a tree with a beard? The hairs get stuck on the bark, leaves get stuck in it, you can step onto the beard when you go up a branch. Pfff, that is such hard work. And a nice clean shaven Hobbit does it much better.

Answer 5.
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril is just such ah bore

Me hands are aecking and me back is sore
O, Smaug won't ye give me ma two-handled cup?

Answer 6.
Ha, as if you don't know the answer young Lady, that you must figure out yourself. No, I'm not helping you with this one. I know you know this!





AlassŽa Eruvande
Valinor


Apr 26 2011, 5:18pm

Post #4 of 19 (278 views)
Shortcut
I think you should win a prize for the questions! :D [In reply to] Can't Post

1. Mrs. Gloin usually put a peanut butter and pickle sandwich with the crusts cut off. She would also use a giant cookie cutter to cut it into the shape of a heart. He'd usually trade it for the deep fried twinkie that Ori brought.

2. Stand by the grey WalMart when the cash register knocks, and the falling prices with the last bargain of Durin's Day Sale will shine upon the pocketbook.

3. Legolas and Itaril had to hug each other for a full minute and then must think of 3 nice things to say to each other.

4. The trees had poison ivy all over them.

5. O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril is fraught with hang-ups.
Lines often twisted and work's pilin' up,
O, Smaug won't ye give me mah two-handled cup?

Not only that, further study has revealed a third verse!

O, Smaug, won't ye give the three-fingered salute?
It's dusty in here, my PC's gone caput.
Control-Alt-Delete can solve many disputes,
O, Smaug, won't ye give the three-fingered salute?

Researchers have formulated a theory that the whole Battle of Five Armies could have been resolved if Thorin's computer hadn't frozen up. He could neither send nor receive emails, and knew nothing of the negotiations.

Bonus:
Hmm... let's see. There are 52 pony clops in one Eagle flap...An unladen swallow must pause three times a day for water...Nazgul avoid water...Duh!
The answer is Shadowfax times the square root of Treebeard and carry The One!
It's so obvious when it's written out like that!
Cool



And suddenly the Tornadoes saw afar off a greenlight, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame;
and they knew that this was no vision only, but that PJ had made a new thing: The Hobbit, the Film that Is.

(This post was edited by AlassŽa Eruvande on Apr 26 2011, 5:27pm)


elvenhobbit
Rohan

Apr 26 2011, 6:14pm

Post #5 of 19 (258 views)
Shortcut
hmm... [In reply to] Can't Post

The point of this quiz is silliness, to let your hair down and let your imagination run riot. So have fun and give us your ridiculous and absurd!

Question 1.
Bilboís tea-party featured tea and ale and porter and coffee and red wine and cakes and buttered scones and eggs and raspberry jam and apple-tart and mince-pies and cheese and pork-pie and coldtongue-coldham-coldbeef-pickledgherkins-salad-frenchrolls-cresssandwiches-pottedmeat-gingerbeer-lemonade-sodawater.

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?

A dwarven stout or 10 to tickle the toes, a smaug special fiery pie (stuffed with lots of different meat) and some pickles, followed by lemon tart and cherry pie.


Question 2.
Fill in the blanks:

Stand by the grey _____ when the _____ knocks, and the _____ing _____ with the last _____ of Durinís _____ will shine upon the _____.

In order: Dragon, talon, shining, axe, stroke, reign, mithril (I know, makes no sense, but hey best i can come up with!)

Question 3.
Unless youíve been living with Gollum, you are aware that a new character is being shoehorned introduced into the story: the Elvish lass Itaril. Speculation is rampant (mostly by yours truly) that this fair maiden is Legolasí kid sister, and that Thranduil sends Legolas to the battlefront, so that he can have a little peace and quiet at home.

In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring?

I will not try and hide Itaril in the ithiliden well


Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?

Didnt you know the dwarves were actually on 'Im a celebrity'' and were pushed out of the aircraft on a LOTR celebrity special? and not all had working parachutes.....(but they all survived)

Question 5.
Tolkien does not specify the song that the Dwarves sing to Thorin at the Lonely Mountain to soothe his sulks. However, our tireless researchers have found a fragment of parchment with what appears to be the first verse and a line of the second verse of what could very well be this very song or one substantially similar.

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖ

Complete the second verse.

No idea I'm 'fraid.


Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?


Half the speed of the distance travelled but not as fast as LOTR airmail!

Elven by name, Hobbit by nature

'Road lead ever on and on
down from the door where it began
now far ahead the road has gone
down from where all began' -FOTR-

and through all the world has changed
the ages come and go with time
and yet those remain unchanged
unto they journey westward
over the sea...

and through it all we remain strong and true
for eternity is bonds unbroken
beyond the sea...

into the realm of TORN!


wheres breakfast?

beauty is not skin deep, it is as deep as the wish of the beholder.
fore! fore! wassup!



weaver
Half-elven

Apr 26 2011, 8:53pm

Post #6 of 19 (290 views)
Shortcut
well, since my kids tell me I am great at absurd remarks, I'll just join this conversation! [In reply to] Can't Post

This was a hoot -- until I got to that last question. Glad I stopped by the absurd and silly party table! Cool

Question
1.

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines? Gold fish crackers, Chicken McNuggets and Mithril dollar pancakes.

Question 2.
Stand by the grey Hair when the Stylist knocks, and theDying Blond Curls with the last Updo of Durinís Braids will shine upon the Shampoo Bowl.

Question 3.
What other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring? Gimli gets to put him in a box...

Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?To see if when the bough breaks, the Bilbo will fall...

Question 5.
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖasking you to stop burning things up! Prove that you've cooled down, and don't make me jump. Oh Smaug won't you give ma two-handled cup!


Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Weaver's brain doing math!


Weaver




sador
Half-elven


Apr 26 2011, 10:37pm

Post #7 of 19 (273 views)
Shortcut
Nice! [In reply to] Can't Post

Question 1.
What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?

Corned Beef and coffee.
How do you think he became so proficient in lighting fires?

Question 2.
That's the standing order to the Orc-guard left at the deserted Dol Guldur, as the White Council came knocking!
Stand by the grey pilgrim's XXX side when the old XXX in white knocks, and the (too horrible to even contemplate, especially when said of a Lady!)ing she-elf with the last yellowlivered blonde ponces in terror of Durinís Bane's wrath will shine upon the stink bomb; light it and get out before they notice you.

Question 3.
In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring?
Sharing a boat with a burping dwarf.

Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?
As Dori said to him: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
Once was more than enough. After all, he is not a porter.

Question 5.
Complete the second verse.
Nope.
The operator was down, and they were stuck at dialing for mithril.

Bonus Question:
what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
You mean Smaug swallowing a maid from Dale?

"An interesting statement: death was present because the people sought life."
- Menelwyn.


The weekly discussion of The Lord of the Rings is back. Join us in the Reading Room for The Window on the West!



Ettelewen
Rohan

Apr 26 2011, 11:19pm

Post #8 of 19 (256 views)
Shortcut
LOL! [In reply to] Can't Post

Question 1.
Bilboís tea-party featured tea and ale and porter and coffee and red wine and cakes and buttered scones and eggs and raspberry jam and apple-tart and mince-pies and cheese and pork-pie and coldtongue-coldham-coldbeef-pickledgherkins-salad-frenchrolls-cresssandwiches-pottedmeat-gingerbeer-lemonade-sodawater.

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?

Celery with low-fat cottage cheese. Gloin's been putting on a few pounds lately...


Question 2.
Fill in the blanks:

Stand by the grey _Wanderer____ when the _opportunity____ knocks, and the ____th_ing y_____ with the last _drop____ of Durinís _mead____ will shine upon the _water____.

Nope, makes no sense to me either.


Question 3.
Unless youíve been living with Gollum, you are aware that a new character is being shoehorned introduced into the story: the Elvish lass Itaril. Speculation is rampant (mostly by yours truly) that this fair maiden is Legolasí kid sister, and that Thranduil sends Legolas to the battlefront, so that he can have a little peace and quiet at home.

In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring?

Legolas must find her a date for the Spring Fling in Rivendell.


Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?

Are you kidding? Dwarves send *everyone* up a tree (or around the bend), not just Bilbo.


Question 5.
Tolkien does not specify the song that the Dwarves sing to Thorin at the Lonely Mountain to soothe his sulks. However, our tireless researchers have found a fragment of parchment with what appears to be the first verse and a line of the second verse of what could very well be this very song or one substantially similar.

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖ

Complete the second verse.

Darn, my poetry is just awful so I won't try.


Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

What do you mean - an African or a European swallow???



Lissuin
Tol Eressea

Apr 27 2011, 3:11am

Post #9 of 19 (270 views)
Shortcut
Many, many thanks, all ye Founders. And to Rosie Lass, too. [In reply to] Can't Post

Q#1: Mrs. Gloin?! Ha! He spent his lunch hours with that doxy, Snow White, and went back to work whistling!

Q#2: Stand by the grey chamber door when the raven knocks, and the embers dying with the last flicker of Durin's torch will shine upon the lost Lenore. (alternative happy ending to The Raven by E.A. Poe)

Q#3: Legolas is doomed to pose with his bow and arrow for tourists at the "Legolas Tree" in Elrond's garden, a.k.a. Kaitoke Regional Park, Wellington, every Saturday from 2-3:00 for the rest of his natural elven life unless he apologizes or agrees to go on a hopeless quest.

Q#4: Weaver nailed that one.

Q#5:
Oh Smaug, won't ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialin' for Mithrail makes a dwarf run amok.
Ah need beer after delvin' and flagons do suck!
Oh Smaug, won't ye give me mah two-handled cup?

BonusQ: A Nazgul walk? I think not.


Magpie
Immortal


Apr 27 2011, 4:07am

Post #10 of 19 (253 views)
Shortcut
I hate exercise. [In reply to] Can't Post

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?
Hostess Snowballs (I was seriously envious of the kids who got snowballs in their lunchbox.)



LOTR soundtrack website
magpie avatar gallery ~ Torn Image Posting Guide


OiotŠri
Tol Eressea


Apr 27 2011, 4:16am

Post #11 of 19 (249 views)
Shortcut
completely serious answers (yeah right) [In reply to] Can't Post

#1: Tofu-and-pickled-beet sushi

#2: Stand by the grey rainy day when the opportunity knocks, and the writing silly answers with the last post of Durinís (err... Founders) Day will shine upon the TORn message boards.

#3: Writing Itaril's part in the script, which must be approved by daddy, while Itaril gets to write his part, but doesn't need any approval

#4: They're allergic to certain tree saps

#5: ummm..... tra-la-la-lally come back to the valley

Bonus: 0 mph since Smaug ate all of the unladen swallows (he left the laden ones be, which greatly increased the demand for coconuts)



..The land of long-forgotten name:
......no man may ever anchor near;
..No steering star his hope may aim,
......for nether Night its marches drear,
..And waters wide no sail may tame,
......with shores encircled dark and sheer.

..O! Haven where my heart would be!
......the waves beat upon thy bar
..For ever echo endlessly,
......when longing leads thy thought afar


StarElf
Rohan

Apr 27 2011, 4:40am

Post #12 of 19 (248 views)
Shortcut
Will there be a quiz on our answers, RosieLass? [In reply to] Can't Post

Question 1.
Bilboís tea-party featured tea and ale and porter and coffee and red wine and cakes and buttered scones and eggs and raspberry jam and apple-tart and mince-pies and cheese and pork-pie and coldtongue-coldham-coldbeef-pickledgherkins-salad-frenchrolls-cresssandwiches-pottedmeat-gingerbeer-lemonade-sodawater.

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?
_________

I'm thinkin' it was cotton candy, apples, and a few dozen termites.....that dwarf had a pretty sick sense of humor!

____________________
Question 2.
Fill in the blanks:

Stand by the grey silo when the cast of Mortal Kombat knocks, and the unrelenting chickens with the last remnant of Durinís nasal hair will shine upon the ostriches.
_______
Question 3.
Unless youíve been living with Gollum, you are aware that a new character is being shoehorned introduced into the story: the Elvish lass Itaril. Speculation is rampant (mostly by yours truly) that this fair maiden is Legolasí kid sister, and that Thranduil sends Legolas to the battlefront, so that he can have a little peace and quiet at home.

In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring?
_______

600 years of mopping the kitchen, plus 300 laps around the forest in Gloin's underthings

_______
Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?
_________

They were hoarding the lembas. Duh.

_______
Question 5.
Tolkien does not specify the song that the Dwarves sing to Thorin at the Lonely Mountain to soothe his sulks. However, our tireless researchers have found a fragment of parchment with what appears to be the first verse and a line of the second verse of what could very well be this very song or one substantially similar.

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖ

Complete the second verse.

_________
Due to the italicized words and my once again not wearing my glasses, I misread the ninth word as a 4-letter word which is spelled very similarly. Sorry, I'm still snickering to myself too hard to come up with a clever answer!

_______


Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
________
Is the swallow Valinorean or Numenorean?



Was the world being born what called me...?
At the bottom of the deep sea, I could hear a voice.



taekotemple
Grey Havens


Apr 27 2011, 4:58am

Post #13 of 19 (242 views)
Shortcut
Oh dear. [In reply to] Can't Post

1. Stone soup?

2. Stand by the grey diaper, when the toddler knocks, and the crying baby with the last jar of Durin's Desitin will shine upon the nanny.

3. He put Legolas in charge of all household duties (weren't we talking recently about who did all the dirty, menial housework for those pretentious elves?)

4. Simple. It's a well known hazing ritual. You make the new guy climb up the tree, then you chop off all of the lowest branches so it isn't safe for the guy to climb or jump down. Then you leave him up there all night, and if he manages to survive the frostbite and bird droppings, he gets to join the frat house! Yeah man!

5. O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril is really screwed up
Mah cell phone ain't workin', ah ain't got no bars
O, Smaug, won't ye give me mah two-handled cup?

I dunno. I wanted to get something in there with the fact that they're inside a mountain, so it's blocking the signal, but I gave up.

Bonus Question:

I found this webpage where someone apparently figured out the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow. http://style.org/unladenswallow/ For a European Swallow, it's approximately 10-11 meters per second.


Standingstone
The Shire


Apr 27 2011, 5:52am

Post #14 of 19 (247 views)
Shortcut
EIA answers [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
The point of this quiz is silliness, to let your hair down and let your imagination run riot. So have fun and give us your ridiculous and absurd!

Question 1.
Bilboís tea-party featured tea and ale and porter and coffee and red wine and cakes and buttered scones and eggs and raspberry jam and apple-tart and mince-pies and cheese and pork-pie and coldtongue-coldham-coldbeef-pickledgherkins-salad-frenchrolls-cresssandwiches-pottedmeat-gingerbeer-lemonade-sodawater.

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines? She packed a Cornish Pasty, filled with beef, sliced potato, turnip and onions....baked to perfection and easy to handle in the mines. Black coffee; stout. Dutch apple pie or coffee cake if there's any left over from Sunday visitors and the multi-vitamin he forgot to take at breakfast. If they woke up late she packs a dollar for the machine, a box of JuJu's and a drink box. Question 2.
Fill in the blanks:

Stand by the grey pilgrim when the opportunity knocks, and the burning wings with the last flame of Durinís bane will shine upon the wall. Okay, I'm ahead of myself and in the wrong book...but I tried, and that's saying something! Tolkien 'writes backwards' and I jump forward... My head hurts.
Question 3.
Unless youíve been living with Gollum, you are aware that a new character is being shoehorned introduced into the story: the Elvish lass Itaril. Speculation is rampant (mostly by yours truly) that this fair maiden is Legolasí kid sister, and that Thranduil sends Legolas to the battlefront, so that he can have a little peace and quiet at home.

In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring? No more calling 'shot gun', Itaril get's the front seat. Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?
To get a break from his ridiculous singing of 'hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go....'
Question 5.
Tolkien does not specify the song that the Dwarves sing to Thorin at the Lonely Mountain to soothe his sulks. However, our tireless researchers have found a fragment of parchment with what appears to be the first verse and a line of the second verse of what could very well be this very song or one substantially similar.

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖ

Complete the second verse. Ahhhem, in my best Janis Joplin voice....
Oh Smaug, won't you give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing For Mithril is trying to reach me.
Ah wait for delivery each day until three,
Oh, Smaug, won't ye give me mah two-handled cup?

Ok now I have Joplins voice rockin' in my head. Not sure how I feel about that!
I think....thanks!?



Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? 25 pony clops per minute is the equivalent of the minute waltz played in 3/4 time at a snails pace. Taking into consideration that they are traveling north-easterly but up-hill, they clearly would have to adjust pcpm (pony clops per minute) closer to the midlothian average of 20 clops per minute, assuming that said pony is Bill. The fascinating bit is, that the White Council, heading south easterly gains the advantage as they are traveling down hill in August and the unladen swallow will easily over take them in spite of the greater 65 efph (eagle flaps per hour) of the councils travel. Chapter and verse you say? Clearly the unladen swallow was intended by Tolkien to be able to vector in his flight to intercept or even precede the arrival of the Nazgul despite the fact that Thorongil himself carried numerous refugee's out of harms way. Not withstanding the fact that there is nothing quite so fearsome as the fast footfall of the footsies of the Nazgul especially while traveling in an easterly direction there is no canonical proof but it is generally accepted that the little unladened swallow called for help and was was carried away by eagles flying in formation.

Show your work. oh for for pete's sake....how do you get the picture here where I want it and not as an attachment? Clearly....it's too late for coffee, the hockey games are done and it's time for bed! G'night!



Standingstone
The Shire


Apr 27 2011, 6:02am

Post #15 of 19 (254 views)
Shortcut
'your picture here' [In reply to] Can't Post

You asked me to show my work. See attached: my mentor.

Perhaps tomorrow someone might pm me to explain layout etc. Thanks in advance!
Attachments: Vizzini.jpg (21.6 KB)


Aunt Dora Baggins
Immortal


Apr 27 2011, 4:29pm

Post #16 of 19 (232 views)
Shortcut
I'm not even going to try, but that was very funny! [In reply to] Can't Post

That last one reminded me of a real problem I used to put on my algebra tests back in about 1978, about Nazgul flying to and from Barad Dur with and against the wind. I've gotten less funny on my algebra tests as I get older, mostly because none of my students ever seemed to appreciate it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




OiotŠri
Tol Eressea


Apr 27 2011, 5:21pm

Post #17 of 19 (261 views)
Shortcut
alternate answer to bonus question [In reply to] Can't Post

1,000,000

what are the units? you ask. I don't know, but the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow is definitely 1,000,000 of them


..The land of long-forgotten name:
......no man may ever anchor near;
..No steering star his hope may aim,
......for nether Night its marches drear,
..And waters wide no sail may tame,
......with shores encircled dark and sheer.

..O! Haven where my heart would be!
......the waves beat upon thy bar
..For ever echo endlessly,
......when longing leads thy thought afar


batik
Tol Eressea


Apr 28 2011, 6:48pm

Post #18 of 19 (253 views)
Shortcut
it's only Thursday [In reply to] Can't Post

Question 1.
What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?


Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, onions, pickles on a sesame seed bun.


Question 2.
Fill in the blanks:

Stand by the grey _fox__ when the _jay__ knocks, and the _fish ing _lion_ with the last _swallow__ of Durinís _pride_ will shine upon the _pants____.

Question 3.
Unless youíve been living with Gollum, you are aware that a new character is being shoehorned introduced into the story: the Elvish lass Itaril. Speculation is rampant (mostly by yours truly) that this fair maiden is Legolasí kid sister, and that Thranduil sends Legolas to the battlefront, so that he can have a little peace and quiet at home.

In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring?
Contact lenses and a blonde wig.

Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?

Guess they figured the Fire and Rescue Department would have to show up eventually if Bilbo got stuck up there!

Question 5.
Tolkien does not specify the song that the Dwarves sing to Thorin at the Lonely Mountain to soothe his sulks. However, our tireless researchers have found a fragment of parchment with what appears to be the first verse and a line of the second verse of what could very well be this very song or one substantially similar.

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖ sort of effed-up! Shocked
~ need something right now, to hold this sticky syrup!
O, Smaug, won't ye give me mah two-handled cup?

Complete the second verse.

Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Show your work.



(This post was edited by batik on Apr 28 2011, 6:51pm)


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Apr 30 2011, 3:47am

Post #19 of 19 (388 views)
Shortcut
Us? Be silly? Surely you jest ;) [In reply to] Can't Post


YOU GOT IT!!! :D

Question 1.
Bilboís tea-party featured tea and ale and porter and coffee and red wine and cakes and buttered scones and eggs and raspberry jam and apple-tart and mince-pies and cheese and pork-pie and coldtongue-coldham-coldbeef-pickledgherkins-salad-frenchrolls-cresssandwiches-pottedmeat-gingerbeer-lemonade-sodawater.

What did Mrs. Gloin usually put in her husbandís lunchbox for a hard dayís slog down at tímines?

**Rock cakes and a quartz of beer :D


Question 2.
Fill in the blanks:

Stand by the grey WIZARD when the DOOR GETS knocks, and the PLANNing THE OLD DUDE DOES with the last BURGLAR of Durinís OFFSPRING will shine upon the _____.

Question 3.
Unless youíve been living with Gollum, you are aware that a new character is being shoehorned introduced into the story: the Elvish lass Itaril. Speculation is rampant (mostly by yours truly) that this fair maiden is Legolasí kid sister, and that Thranduil sends Legolas to the battlefront, so that he can have a little peace and quiet at home.

In addition making Legolas write I will not dip Itarilís pigtails in the ithilden well 500 times on a slate with his licked fingertip, what other fitting punishment has Legolasí father devised for his unruly offspring?

***Take the Wednesday night shift feeding and seeing to the prisoners down in the dungeons.
[psst... I really like your guess that Itaril is Legolas' sister!!! :D]


Question 4.
What was the real reason the Dwarves sent Bilbo up the tree instead of climbing up themselves?
***It's the first chance they could have a conversation without him butting in!

Question 5.
Tolkien does not specify the song that the Dwarves sing to Thorin at the Lonely Mountain to soothe his sulks. However, our tireless researchers have found a fragment of parchment with what appears to be the first verse and a line of the second verse of what could very well be this very song or one substantially similar.

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?
Bard wants all mah emíralds, ah must make A-mends.
Mined hard all mah lifetime, no help from mah friends!
O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah ArKENstone gem?

O, Smaug, wonít ye give me mah two-handled cup?
Dialing for mithril isÖ

Complete the second verse.

(*applause* Love Janis!!)

...hunting where you hail.
Prove that you're stupid and fly off toward Dale.
O, Smaug, won't ye give me mah two-handled cup?

Bonus Question:
If Thorin and Co. leave Bywater at 10:00 am on April 26 traveling in a north-easterly direction at 25 pony-clops per minute, and the White Council leave Rivendell at 3:00 pm on August 30 traveling in a south-easterly direction at 65 Eagle-flaps per hour, and the Nazgul leave Dol Guldur at midnight on September 17 traveling in an easterly direction as fast as their little footsies will take them, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Show your work.

*counts on fingers. Takes off shoes to add toes. Divide by 2...*

Really, really fast!!! *puts on dunce cap*


Painfully AWESOME GAME!!! :D *high five*


sample sample

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists
Unused Scenes


 
 

Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.