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silneldor
Half-elven
Mar 22 2011, 4:04pm
Post #1 of 27
(775 views)
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WHY did the chicken cross the road? (Could this be another perplexing chicken answer quest?)
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NO! For here are all the astute and viable answers of our times
President Barack Oboma: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change. The chicken wanted change!
Sarah Palin: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh darn, she's a maverick!
John Mc Cain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because she recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
Hillary Clinton: When I was first lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance to to cross the road. But then, this isn't really about me.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?
President Obama: For Heathcare! It is the right for every chicken to have quality healthcare!
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
Al Gore: I invented the chicken.
Al Sharpton: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Martha Stewart: No one called to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to 15cents an egg. No bird gave me any insider info.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did she cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
Ernes Hemingway: To die in the rain alone,
Jerry Falwell: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why it is called the 'other side', Yes my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will be gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road, It is simple as that.
Grampa: In my day we did not ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
Barbara Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?
So there it is, in white AND black. But if you wish to contribute to said, 'viable answers' please feel free to cross the road with some your own.
''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III
May the grace of Manwë let us soar with eagle's wings!
In the air, among the clouds in the sky
Here is where the birds of Manwe fly
Looking at the land, and the water that flows
The true beauty of earth shows
With the stars of Varda lighting my way
In all the realms this is where I stay
In the realm of Manwë Súlimo
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NottaSackville
Valinor
Mar 22 2011, 4:45pm
Post #2 of 27
(518 views)
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Gollum: Because it smelled me, it dids, ohhhh, yesssss it sssssmelled me over here, preciousss!
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Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn.
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Patty
Immortal
Mar 22 2011, 5:22pm
Post #3 of 27
(487 views)
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Because, like Denethor, it looked into the palantir and saw death and ruin on his own side of the road.
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I like this. It's right up there with "pants".
Permanent address: Into the West
Must. Have. The Precious! Give us the LotR EE Blu-ray Ultimate Box Set!
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Mar 22 2011, 5:43pm
Post #4 of 27
(487 views)
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Legolas: ... a diversion!?!????!!!!!!!!
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with thanks to Darkstone who let me beat him to it.
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Darkstone
Immortal
Mar 22 2011, 6:12pm
Post #5 of 27
(479 views)
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General Petraeus: "She wanted to lay it on the line." /
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******************************************
From IMDB trivia:
"A scene was cut from the finished film that showed Eowyn (Miranda Otto) stripping away her regular clothes and then dressing herself in the armor of a Rohan warrior."
*Darkstone bangs head against wall*
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sador
Half-elven
Mar 22 2011, 6:16pm
Post #6 of 27
(476 views)
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Because her wings were only ceremonial. //
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"In some ways, this chapter is more like the first chapter of Book V, rather than the last chapter of Book III. The first part of Book V is now set, with Gandalf on his way to Minas Tirith, and Aragorn in possession of the palantír, ready for the vital show-down with Sauron, which will set up the West's final strategy against the Dark Lord."
- Malbeth.
"The chapter ends as Gandalf rides with Pippin towards Minas Tirith, partially lost in his memories of the West; Pippin in a semi-dream as Shadowfax gallops. And there we leave them, to go back several days to Frodo and Sam."
- Eledhwen.
"We know why Gandalf is imparting so much information here: so we understand the set-up for the third book to come. It gives an urgency to our reading and whets our appetite for 'the tower of Denethor' and the purple slopes of 'Mindolluin'."
- Chip of Dale.
What do you think? How do you feel this chapter prepares for those chapters yet to come?
And of course, a more important question:
"What is the boiling point of a palantír in a vacuum?"
- drogo.
The weekly discussion of The Lord of the Rings is back. Join us in the Reading Room for The Palantír!
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Darkstone
Immortal
Mar 22 2011, 6:27pm
Post #7 of 27
(515 views)
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A fox passing through the wood on business of his own stopped several minutes and sniffed. "A chicken crossing the road!" he thought. "Well, what next? I have heard of strange doings in this land, but I have seldom heard of a chicken crossing the road! There's something mighty queer behind this." He was quite right, but he never found out any more because he ate it.
******************************************
From IMDB trivia:
"A scene was cut from the finished film that showed Eowyn (Miranda Otto) stripping away her regular clothes and then dressing herself in the armor of a Rohan warrior."
*Darkstone bangs head against wall*
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silneldor
Half-elven
Mar 22 2011, 8:11pm
Post #8 of 27
(478 views)
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Hey a meal is where you find it, besides it may just have looked fair but felt fowler.
It was probably one of Sauron's agents anyway going back to cackle on the goings on of the hobbits and being sly the fox not liking the black riders was happy twice to be twixt it and his master.
''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III
May the grace of Manwë let us soar with eagle's wings!
In the air, among the clouds in the sky
Here is where the birds of Manwe fly
Looking at the land, and the water that flows
The true beauty of earth shows
With the stars of Varda lighting my way
In all the realms this is where I stay
In the realm of Manwë Súlimo
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NottaSackville
Valinor
Mar 22 2011, 8:18pm
Post #9 of 27
(473 views)
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Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn.
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L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens
Mar 22 2011, 9:55pm
Post #10 of 27
(487 views)
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Celeborn: To....get....to....the....other....side./
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Fight for us! And regain your honor, learn valuable technical skills, and qualify for up to four years' college tuition under the GI Bill! What say you?
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sador
Half-elven
Mar 22 2011, 10:12pm
Post #11 of 27
(483 views)
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Yes. Sam brought a pinch of the finest salt in the Shire. //
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"In some ways, this chapter is more like the first chapter of Book V, rather than the last chapter of Book III. The first part of Book V is now set, with Gandalf on his way to Minas Tirith, and Aragorn in possession of the palantír, ready for the vital show-down with Sauron, which will set up the West's final strategy against the Dark Lord."
- Malbeth.
"The chapter ends as Gandalf rides with Pippin towards Minas Tirith, partially lost in his memories of the West; Pippin in a semi-dream as Shadowfax gallops. And there we leave them, to go back several days to Frodo and Sam."
- Eledhwen.
"We know why Gandalf is imparting so much information here: so we understand the set-up for the third book to come. It gives an urgency to our reading and whets our appetite for 'the tower of Denethor' and the purple slopes of 'Mindolluin'."
- Chip of Dale.
What do you think? How do you feel this chapter prepares for those chapters yet to come?
And of course, a more important question:
"What is the boiling point of a palantír in a vacuum?"
- drogo.
The weekly discussion of The Lord of the Rings is back. Join us in the Reading Room for The Palantír!
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Mar 23 2011, 3:11am
Post #12 of 27
(468 views)
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Another Tolkien: "A Lost Short Story"
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This is something I copied from the Straight Dope Message Board's thread, "If LOTR Had Been Written By Someone Else". Credit goes to Fingolfin, 10-11-2002:
A Lost Short Story by J.R.R. Tolkien
The chicken, sunlight coruscating off its radiant yellow-white coat of feathers, approached the dark, sullen asphalt road and scrutinized it intently with its obsidian-black eyes. Every detail of the thoroughfare leapt into blinding focus: the rough texture of the surface, over which countless tires had worked their relentless tread through the ages; the innumerable fragments of stone embedded within the lugubrious mass, perhaps quarried from the great pits where the Sons of Man labored not far from here; the dull black asphalt itself, exuding those waves of heat which distort the sight and bring weakness to the body; the other attributes of the great highway too numerous to give name. And then it crossed it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915
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silneldor
Half-elven
Mar 23 2011, 3:42am
Post #13 of 27
(457 views)
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pulls yet another chicken (story) out of her unfathomable hat of resources, ha:).
*slips away dictionary*
''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III
May the grace of Manwë let us soar with eagle's wings!
In the air, among the clouds in the sky
Here is where the birds of Manwe fly
Looking at the land, and the water that flows
The true beauty of earth shows
With the stars of Varda lighting my way
In all the realms this is where I stay
In the realm of Manwë Súlimo
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silneldor
Half-elven
Mar 23 2011, 4:02am
Post #15 of 27
(487 views)
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Yes, i think everyone won here
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and all will receive free chicken legs 'n tators at Colonel Sanders...ones that did not escape across the road that is.
''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III
May the grace of Manwë let us soar with eagle's wings!
In the air, among the clouds in the sky
Here is where the birds of Manwe fly
Looking at the land, and the water that flows
The true beauty of earth shows
With the stars of Varda lighting my way
In all the realms this is where I stay
In the realm of Manwë Súlimo
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Annael
Immortal
Mar 23 2011, 2:30pm
Post #18 of 27
(447 views)
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to gaze into Galadriel's puddle.
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quite vain, those chickens.
The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives.
- James Hillman, Healing Fiction
* * * * * * * * * *
NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967
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Patty
Immortal
Mar 23 2011, 6:27pm
Post #19 of 27
(442 views)
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can I get strips, or wings?
Permanent address: Into the West
Must. Have. The Precious! Give us the LotR EE Blu-ray Ultimate Box Set!
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silneldor
Half-elven
Mar 23 2011, 9:31pm
Post #20 of 27
(426 views)
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You are in luck, there is a special on metonymic wings today.
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Metaphorical (lighter) or meatiphorical (crispier)?
''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III
May the grace of Manwë let us soar with eagle's wings!
In the air, among the clouds in the sky
Here is where the birds of Manwe fly
Looking at the land, and the water that flows
The true beauty of earth shows
With the stars of Varda lighting my way
In all the realms this is where I stay
In the realm of Manwë Súlimo
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Advising Elf
Rohan
Mar 24 2011, 4:50pm
Post #21 of 27
(420 views)
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To show the armadillo that it could be done.
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Local joke. The roads in Arkansas are littered with armadillo corpses.
Link to Youtube video about my daughter's book: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCo-bF0u8xI
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silneldor
Half-elven
Mar 25 2011, 2:31am
Post #22 of 27
(415 views)
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Good to see you AE. Say, are armadillos
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edible?
''Sam put his ragged orc-cloak under his master's head, and covered them both with the grey robe of Lorien; and as he did so his thoughts went out to that fair land, and to the Elves, and he hoped that the cloth woven by their hands might have some virtue to keep them hidden beyond all hope in this wilderness of fear...But their luck held, and for the rest of that day they met no living or moving thing; and when night fell they vanished into the darkess of Mordor.'' - - -rotk, chapter III
May the grace of Manwë let us soar with eagle's wings!
In the air, among the clouds in the sky
Here is where the birds of Manwe fly
Looking at the land, and the water that flows
The true beauty of earth shows
With the stars of Varda lighting my way
In all the realms this is where I stay
In the realm of Manwë Súlimo
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Advising Elf
Rohan
Mar 25 2011, 3:11am
Post #23 of 27
(442 views)
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Link to Youtube video about my daughter's book: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCo-bF0u8xI
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Menelwyn
Rohan
Mar 25 2011, 12:50pm
Post #24 of 27
(439 views)
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Boromir: It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. //
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Patty
Immortal
Mar 25 2011, 8:03pm
Post #25 of 27
(405 views)
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Permanent address: Into the West
Must. Have. The Precious! Give us the LotR EE Blu-ray Ultimate Box Set!
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