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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
May 29 2010, 9:35pm
Post #1 of 75
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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We take a left-turn with this week's conspiracy:
What is the real cause of The Hobbit's filming delay?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 29 2010, 10:42pm
Post #2 of 75
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Mean old probation officer won't let Lindsay Lohan go to New Zealand. /
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******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 29 2010, 10:46pm
Post #4 of 75
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Tom Cruise still hasn't put on enough weight for his hobbit physique. /
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******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
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Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
(This post was edited by Darkstone on May 29 2010, 10:50pm)
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 29 2010, 10:49pm
Post #5 of 75
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It's something complicated to do with the International Date Line and the Coriolis effect /
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******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 29 2010, 11:09pm
Post #6 of 75
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Bears have a long quarantine to enter New Zealand, and dragons are right out. /
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******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 29 2010, 11:10pm
Post #7 of 75
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Ben Affleck is demanding script changes. /
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******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
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Penthe
Gondor
May 29 2010, 11:10pm
Post #8 of 75
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Breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper
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Only leaves about ten minutes filming time a day, you know.
Now?
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7777777
Rivendell
May 29 2010, 11:16pm
Post #9 of 75
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Dragons are tough to schedule. //
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Dwarf for hire: Have Battle-Axe and Boots. Willing to travel.
"Something, something, something Darkside. Something, something, something complete."
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7777777
Rivendell
May 29 2010, 11:21pm
Post #10 of 75
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LOL! Where's the cyanide pills? //
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Dwarf for hire: Have Battle-Axe and Boots. Willing to travel.
"Something, something, something Darkside. Something, something, something complete."
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grammaboodawg
Immortal
May 30 2010, 3:42am
Post #13 of 75
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They're trying to assure Peter he'd be great at playing Bilbo //
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I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.
TORn's Observations Lists
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
May 30 2010, 4:07am
Post #14 of 75
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now *there's* a casting rumour that could spread on the 'net! :D
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
May 30 2010, 4:59am
Post #15 of 75
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Peter the Great is interfering from the Beyond,
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as he is incensed that such a great cultural achievement has been produced by an impostor, who has even dared to assume his name! And now there's yet another attempt!!!
As is obvious from the latest AP photo, he demands that his own script be used, (and intends to buy MGM with the Hermitage as collateral . . . ).
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GAndyalf
Valinor
May 30 2010, 5:18am
Post #16 of 75
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The Wellington airport is socked in Smaug//
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"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009
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GAndyalf
Valinor
May 30 2010, 5:19am
Post #17 of 75
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Keystone Cops plan to come out of retirement to play the dwarves//
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"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009
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GAndyalf
Valinor
May 30 2010, 5:20am
Post #18 of 75
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Mystery actor drives a Bard bargain//
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"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
May 30 2010, 5:21am
Post #19 of 75
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Thanks very much, Gramma, for the idea!! (See below--or above--or wherever new posts go . . .) //
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You know, with all the Bilbo casting discussions and hopes and arguments that have been going on, I think you've found the solution:
"Jackson Cast As Bilbo"
How many entertainment sites do you think might pick that up by tomorrow? 
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GAndyalf
Valinor
May 30 2010, 5:21am
Post #20 of 75
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Italian Mafia insisting that Laketown be filmed in Venice//
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"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009
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GAndyalf
Valinor
May 30 2010, 5:27am
Post #21 of 75
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Confusion over who is to sing the song "A Star is Beorn"//
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"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009
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Compa_Mighty
Tol Eressea
May 30 2010, 7:12am
Post #22 of 75
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The Hobbit movie is never late... it arrives precisely when it means to
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I know I've posted it before, but thought it was worth recycling... anyway, mods up, everyone, I believe this might be the best overall Conspiracy Theory ever! 
Here's to Del Toro becoming the Irvin Kershner of Middle Earth!
Essay winner of the Show us your Hobbit Pride Giveway!
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
May 30 2010, 11:50am
Post #23 of 75
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The Swiss are insisting that Rivendell be filmed in Lauterbrunnen. //
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 30 2010, 12:54pm
Post #24 of 75
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The boys at WETA are having to re-do and re-do and re-do Ms. Jolie's motion capture. /
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******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 30 2010, 12:57pm
Post #25 of 75
(774 views)
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Howard Shore and Barry Manilow disagree on which direction to take the score. /
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******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.
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