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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


May 29 2010, 9:35pm

Post #1 of 75 (811 views)
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

We take a left-turn with this week's conspiracy:

What is the real cause of The Hobbit's filming delay?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Darkstone
Immortal


May 29 2010, 10:42pm

Post #2 of 75 (360 views)
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Mean old probation officer won't let Lindsay Lohan go to New Zealand. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.


Greenwood Hobbit
Grey Havens


May 29 2010, 10:43pm

Post #3 of 75 (357 views)
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Plague of locusts ate Hobbiton and they have to grow it all again. [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Darkstone
Immortal


May 29 2010, 10:46pm

Post #4 of 75 (370 views)
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Tom Cruise still hasn't put on enough weight for his hobbit physique. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.

(This post was edited by Darkstone on May 29 2010, 10:50pm)


Darkstone
Immortal


May 29 2010, 10:49pm

Post #5 of 75 (350 views)
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It's something complicated to do with the International Date Line and the Coriolis effect / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.


Darkstone
Immortal


May 29 2010, 11:09pm

Post #6 of 75 (352 views)
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Bears have a long quarantine to enter New Zealand, and dragons are right out. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.


Darkstone
Immortal


May 29 2010, 11:10pm

Post #7 of 75 (354 views)
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Ben Affleck is demanding script changes. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.


Penthe
Gondor


May 29 2010, 11:10pm

Post #8 of 75 (381 views)
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Breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper [In reply to] Can't Post

Only leaves about ten minutes filming time a day, you know.

Now?


7777777
Rivendell


May 29 2010, 11:16pm

Post #9 of 75 (349 views)
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Dragons are tough to schedule. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Dwarf for hire: Have Battle-Axe and Boots. Willing to travel.




"Something, something, something Darkside. Something, something, something complete."


7777777
Rivendell


May 29 2010, 11:21pm

Post #10 of 75 (371 views)
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LOL! Where's the cyanide pills? // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Dwarf for hire: Have Battle-Axe and Boots. Willing to travel.




"Something, something, something Darkside. Something, something, something complete."


Eowyn of Penns Woods
Valinor


May 30 2010, 12:35am

Post #11 of 75 (345 views)
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MGM's shortcut to magic mushrooms. // [In reply to] Can't Post



Woodyend
Gondor


May 30 2010, 2:21am

Post #12 of 75 (349 views)
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Everybody in the cast and crew are living up at the World Cup in South Africa. [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To

What is the real cause of The Hobbit's filming delay?


They are writing it off as a business expense, claiming they are scouting for locations.

May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!
~~~~~~~~Gandalf~~~~~~~

Listen. Strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 30 2010, 3:42am

Post #13 of 75 (342 views)
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They're trying to assure Peter he'd be great at playing Bilbo // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


sample sample

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.


TORn's Observations Lists


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


May 30 2010, 4:07am

Post #14 of 75 (610 views)
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Oooooh, [In reply to] Can't Post

now *there's* a casting rumour that could spread on the 'net! :D

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Ethel Duath
Half-elven


May 30 2010, 4:59am

Post #15 of 75 (366 views)
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Peter the Great is interfering from the Beyond, [In reply to] Can't Post

as he is incensed that such a great cultural achievement has been produced by an impostor, who has even dared to assume his name! And now there's yet another attempt!!!

As is obvious from the latest AP photo, he demands that his own script be used, (and intends to buy MGM with the Hermitage as collateral . . . ).




GAndyalf
Valinor

May 30 2010, 5:18am

Post #16 of 75 (328 views)
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The Wellington airport is socked in Smaug// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009

sample


GAndyalf
Valinor

May 30 2010, 5:19am

Post #17 of 75 (327 views)
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Keystone Cops plan to come out of retirement to play the dwarves// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009

sample


GAndyalf
Valinor

May 30 2010, 5:20am

Post #18 of 75 (334 views)
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Mystery actor drives a Bard bargain// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009

sample


Ethel Duath
Half-elven


May 30 2010, 5:21am

Post #19 of 75 (331 views)
Shortcut
Thanks very much, Gramma, for the idea!! (See below--or above--or wherever new posts go . . .) // [In reply to] Can't Post

You know, with all the Bilbo casting discussions and hopes and arguments that have been going on, I think you've found the solution:

"Jackson Cast As Bilbo"
How many entertainment sites do you think might pick that up by tomorrow? Evil


GAndyalf
Valinor

May 30 2010, 5:21am

Post #20 of 75 (328 views)
Shortcut
Italian Mafia insisting that Laketown be filmed in Venice// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009

sample


GAndyalf
Valinor

May 30 2010, 5:27am

Post #21 of 75 (438 views)
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Confusion over who is to sing the song "A Star is Beorn"// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"Be good, be careful, have fun, don't get arrested!"
---Marcia Michelle Alexander Hamilton, 7 Nov 1955 - 19 Nov 2009

sample


Compa_Mighty
Tol Eressea


May 30 2010, 7:12am

Post #22 of 75 (436 views)
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The Hobbit movie is never late... it arrives precisely when it means to [In reply to] Can't Post

I know I've posted it before, but thought it was worth recycling... anyway, mods up, everyone, I believe this might be the best overall Conspiracy Theory ever! Wink

Here's to Del Toro becoming the Irvin Kershner of Middle Earth!

Essay winner of the Show us your Hobbit Pride Giveway!



dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 30 2010, 11:50am

Post #23 of 75 (379 views)
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The Swiss are insisting that Rivendell be filmed in Lauterbrunnen. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sample

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915




Darkstone
Immortal


May 30 2010, 12:54pm

Post #24 of 75 (339 views)
Shortcut
The boys at WETA are having to re-do and re-do and re-do Ms. Jolie's motion capture. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.


Darkstone
Immortal


May 30 2010, 12:57pm

Post #25 of 75 (325 views)
Shortcut
Howard Shore and Barry Manilow disagree on which direction to take the score. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

******************************************
Yes, Chuck Norris does simply walk into Mordor.

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