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Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories
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Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Feb 17 2007, 7:19pm

Post #1 of 41 (1075 views)
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Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

For this first conspiracy theory on New Torn, I'm posting a whisper slipped to me by one of the earliest TORNadoes, who found TORN during the Time of Stars (thanks Jester)...


So just how did Saruman the White become Saruman of Many Colours?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Arwen's daughter
Half-elven

Feb 17 2007, 7:21pm

Post #2 of 41 (386 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

He washed his cloak with his Grateful Dead tie-dyed t-shirt.



Elberbeth
Tol Eressea

Feb 17 2007, 7:23pm

Post #3 of 41 (385 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

He skewered his dhobi-boy./

There are some things that it is better to begin than to refuse, even though the end may be dark.


WhiteLadyEowyn
Rivendell


Feb 17 2007, 7:25pm

Post #4 of 41 (375 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

It got mixed in with the washload that contained his Plaid Pajamas.


Annael
Half-elven


Feb 17 2007, 7:28pm

Post #5 of 41 (372 views)
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He was a sloppy eater [In reply to] Can't Post

and it was easier than paying those huge drycleaning bills.

____________________________-

NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967


Ainu Laire
Tol Eressea


Feb 17 2007, 7:30pm

Post #6 of 41 (347 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

He lost a bet with the Witch-king, who thought the tie-dye robes were particularly amusing.

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My art site
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Jester
The Shire

Feb 17 2007, 7:53pm

Post #7 of 41 (322 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

Ah, I'm truly honored to be quoted!

Of course, the orc laundry staff ran out of bleach!

Jesters Rules to Live By #12: "Laughter may not be the best medicine, but it's a heck of a lot cheaper than an HMO"


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Feb 17 2007, 8:03pm

Post #8 of 41 (313 views)
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He didn't want to be mistaken for Galadriel. [In reply to] Can't Post

Well, they did look a lot alike, from behind...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still 'round the corner there may wait
A new road, or a secret gate...


Patty
Immortal

Feb 17 2007, 8:04pm

Post #9 of 41 (317 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

Gandalf kicked his butt over the rainbow, and when he fell back to earth through its colors, well, bob's your uncle.

OnPartyBusiness


Nerdanel
Rivendell


Feb 17 2007, 8:19pm

Post #10 of 41 (312 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

His color always remained the same. He changed his name upon returning from a particularly entertaining trip to another state.
Wink

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Ugly Troll
Bree


Feb 17 2007, 8:39pm

Post #11 of 41 (301 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

He took the brown acid, man *giggle* far out, manTongue....


FingonOfPittsburgh
Lorien


Feb 17 2007, 8:43pm

Post #12 of 41 (287 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

He moved to England and was roundly chastised when he introduced himself as "Saruman of Many Colors." Tongue


L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens

Feb 17 2007, 9:04pm

Post #13 of 41 (267 views)
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He was bought by Turner Classic Movies. [nt] [In reply to] Can't Post

 


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elvenhobbit
Rohan

Feb 17 2007, 9:37pm

Post #14 of 41 (262 views)
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Re: Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

...jumped feet first into a rainbow, of course!...Angelic


Aerlinn
Lorien


Feb 17 2007, 10:23pm

Post #15 of 41 (273 views)
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See, he was coloring [In reply to] Can't Post

And he was outside, but then he got tired, and he fell asleep in the sun, and the crayons melted all over his nice white robes.

Is there an icon for "lame"?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, clearly "[ ]" doesn't work.



TORn – where everybody knows your name!
And J.R.R. Tolkien’s middle names… and the name of his publisher’s son … and the name of Aragorn’s great-great-great- grandfather on his mother’s side… and what Frodo’s name almost was…


Noneoftheabove
Lorien


Feb 17 2007, 11:23pm

Post #16 of 41 (259 views)
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Re: [Ataahua] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

How did Saruman the White become known as "Saruman of many colours?"

I really don't know, although I would bet it involves Leprechauns, rainbows and possibly a box of cereal or a bag of candy..


PhantomS
Rohan


Feb 17 2007, 11:29pm

Post #17 of 41 (256 views)
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Re: [Ataahua] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

He was repainting the insides of Orthanc a vibrant mix of pink, turqoise and fuschia when he fell 500 feet into the vat! Why repaint the tower? Of course, for the little baby Saruman conceived after one keg too many with Gogok the Uruk-Ho !


FingonOfPittsburgh
Lorien


Feb 17 2007, 11:32pm

Post #18 of 41 (301 views)
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Re: [PhantomS] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
He was repainting the insides of Orthanc a vibrant mix of pink, turqoise and fuschia when he fell 500 feet into the vat! Why repaint the tower? Of course, for the little baby Saruman conceived after one keg too many with Gogok the Uruk-Ho !


Ah - so that's where baby Uruks come from? And here I thought they were just spawned as adults out of big mud pod pit thingies.....


Sandicomm
Bree


Feb 17 2007, 11:40pm

Post #19 of 41 (276 views)
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Re: [Ataahua] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

While doing his laundry, his favorite white robe accidentally fell into a vat of cochineals that he was saving for a spell. Instead of trying to get the stain out, he decided to go whole hog and stain the robe as much as possible with other dyes. I guess he figured that if the whole thing was stained, no one would notice it was a mistake...


RosieLass
Valinor


Feb 17 2007, 11:41pm

Post #20 of 41 (224 views)
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Typical male...refused to separate his laundry first... (n/t) [In reply to] Can't Post

 

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Gorgeous avatar by Aravanye!


Sandicomm
Bree


Feb 17 2007, 11:41pm

Post #21 of 41 (270 views)
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Re: [Nerdanel] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

Snert. Evil

In Reply To
His color always remained the same. He changed his name upon returning from a particularly entertaining trip to another state.
Wink



a.s.
Valinor


Feb 17 2007, 11:59pm

Post #22 of 41 (230 views)
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Re: [Ataahua] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To

So just how did Saruman the White become Saruman of Many Colours?



He found it cheap in the marketplace in Caanan, marked down because it was stained with a bit of goat's blood. But it all came out in the wash, good as new.

Angelic

a.s.

"an seileachan"

The Lost Mod Power: An Elegy (with apologies to Wordsworth)

What though the mod power which was once so bright
Be now FOREVER taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the stats, of glory in the power,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.


GaladrielTX
Tol Eressea


Feb 18 2007, 12:11am

Post #23 of 41 (247 views)
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*snort* It was red and yellow and green and brown... [In reply to] Can't Post

and ruby and olive and violet and fawn...

if I remember those lyrics I learned back when I was ten.

~~~~~~~~

I used to be GaladrielTX, but then I had liposuction.


deej
Tol Eressea


Feb 18 2007, 12:34am

Post #24 of 41 (229 views)
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Re: [Ataahua] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post

He traded in his cloak for a Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Sincerely, deej - The Artist Formerly Known as djdeathskiss

Atlanta Woot! Moot 2007 - Join us Labor Day weekend; go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/atlanta_woot_moot/


drogo
Lorien


Feb 18 2007, 1:02am

Post #25 of 41 (239 views)
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Re: [deej] Middle-Earth Conspiracy Theories [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
He traded in his cloak for a Technicolor Dreamcoat.


Deej, you're still a deej after all! Cool


(Formerly drogo of the two names!)

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