Our Sponsor Sideshow Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main:
It's time for some BS!
First page Previous page 1 2 Next page Last page  View All

grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 26 2009, 8:50am

Post #1 of 33 (447 views)
Shortcut
It's time for some BS! Can't Post

Here's a Sam-fix of a Book Spoiler that my book's fallen open to enough times lately that I just couldn't ignore anymore... for a moment of Tolkien-zen ;)

From The Black Gate is Closed: The Two Towers


..."Day came, and the fallow sun blinked over the lifeless ridges of Ered Lithui. Then suddenly the cry of brazen-throated trumpets was heard: from the watch-towers they blared, and far away from hidden holds and outposts in the hills came answering calls; and further still, remote but deep and ominous, there echoed in the hollow land beyond the mighty horns and drums of Barad-dûr. Another dreadful day of fear and toil had come to Mordor; and the night-guards were summoned to their dungeons and deep halls, and the day-guards, evil-eyed and fell, were marching to their posts. Steel gleamed dimly on the battlement.

... 'Well, here we are!' said Sam. 'Here's the Gate, and it looks to me as if that's about as far as we are ever going to get. My word, but the Gaffer would have a thing or two to say, if he saw me now! Often said I'd come to a bad end, if I didn't watch my step, he did. But now I don't suppose I'll ever see the old fellow again. He'll miss his chance of I told 'ee so, Sam: more's the pity. He could go on telling me as long as he'd got breath, if only I could see his old face again. But I'd have to get a wash first, or he wouldn't know me.
... 'I suppose it's no good asking "what way do we go now?" We can't go no further—unless we want to ask the Orcs for a lift."


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 26 2009, 10:34am

Post #2 of 33 (289 views)
Shortcut
Pure Sam! [In reply to] Can't Post

That self-berating - the "words of wisdom" from his Gaffer - his understated humour regarding his current condition!

But most of all, that underlying current of his love of the Shire and all that live and work and grow there; he's been keeping all that in his heart, even as that same stout heart keeps him going on the task at hand.

I wonder if Frodo beside him was unsuccessfully suppressing a smile for just an instant...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 26 2009, 4:18pm

Post #3 of 33 (261 views)
Shortcut
Frodo always smiles at Sam [In reply to] Can't Post

and I think that's part of what keeps him going. "Sam...I'm glad you're with me." And I love how Sam brings the Gaffer along with him to keep him (Sam) in his place even when he's nowhere around. Sam's grounding.


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 26 2009, 10:51pm

Post #4 of 33 (254 views)
Shortcut
Hey dernwyn! Guess what! [In reply to] Can't Post

I FOUND THE SATELLITE!!!! WOOHOO!!! I finally have internet at home again. Now it'll only take me 5 weeks to get caught up with the posts I've missed... especially in the rr.

Silly space monster was about 8 degrees more west and 10 degrees more UP than they said it would be.

*happy dance*


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 26 2009, 10:59pm

Post #5 of 33 (251 views)
Shortcut
Woo-hoo! Gramma's finally "on the dish"! [In reply to] Can't Post

I wondered if you had, after seeing what time your BS was posted this morning! Wink

You'd think they'd have some sort of "auto-detect" on those things...

So - how's the speed? Can you download pics in less than a half-hour now? Angelic


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



Ataahua
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 27 2009, 12:16am

Post #6 of 33 (279 views)
Shortcut
How do you go about [In reply to] Can't Post

finding a satellite? (I'm picking it takes more effort than looking behind the couch.)

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 27 2009, 12:01pm

Post #7 of 33 (249 views)
Shortcut
It's time for some more BS! [In reply to] Can't Post

Here's a Book Spoiler of a hobbit thinking on his feet... more or less... for a moment of Tolkien-zen

From The Uruk-hai: The Two Towers

..."Terrified Pippin lay still, though the pain at his wrists and ankles was growing, and the stones beneath him were boring into his back. To take his mind off himself he listened intently to all that he could hear. There were many voices round about, and though orc-speech sounded at all times full of hate and anger, it seemed plain that something like a quarrel had begun, and was getting hotter.

...[/white} To Pippin's surprise he found that much of the talk was intelligible; many of the Orcs were using ordinary language. Apparently the members of two or three quite different tribes were present, and they could not understand one another's orc-speech. There was an angry debate concerning what they were to do now: which way they were to take and what should be done with the prisoners.

... 'There's no time to kill them properly,' said one. 'No time for play on this trip.'

... 'That can't be helped,' said another. 'But why not kill them quick, kill them now? They're a cursed nuisance, and we're in a hurry. Evening's coming on, and we ought to get a move on.'

... 'Orders,' said a third voice in a deep growl. 'Kill all but NOT the Halflings; they are to be brought back ALIVE as quickly as possible. That's my orders.'

... 'What are they wanted for?' asked several voices. 'Why alive? Do they give good sport?'

... 'No! I heard that one of them has got something, something that's wanted for the War, some elvish plot or other. Anyway they'll each be questioned....'

... '...You have spoken more than enough, Uglúk,' sneered the evil voice. 'I wonder how they would like it in Lugbúrz. They might think that Uglúk's shoulders needed relieving of a swollen head. They might ask where his strange ideas came from. Did they come from Saruman, perhaps? Who does he think he is, setting up on his own with his filthy white badges? They might agree with me, with Grishnákh their trusted messenger; and I Grishnákh say this: Saruman is a fool, and a dirty treacherous fool. But the Great Eye is on him.

... 'Swine is it? How do you folk like being called swine by the muck-rakers of a dirty little wizard? It's orc-flesh they eat, I'll warrant.'

... Many loud yells in orc-speech answered him, and the ringing clash of weapons being drawn. Cautiously Pippin rolled over, hoping to see what would happen. His guards had gone to join in the fray. In the twilight he saw a large black Orc, probably Uglúk, standing facing Grishnákh, a short crook-legged creature, very broad and with long arms that hung almost to the ground. Round them were many smaller goblins. Pippin supposed that these were the ones from the North. They had drawn their knives and swords, but hesitated to attack Uglúk.

... Uglúk shouted, and a number of other Orcs of nearly his own size ran up. Then suddenly, without warning, Uglúk sprang forwards, and with two swift strokes swept the heads off two of his opponents. Grishnákh stepped aside and vanished into the shadows. The others gave way, and one stepped backwards and fell over Merry's prostrate form with a curse. Yet that probably saved his life, for Uglúk's followers leaped over him and cut down another with their broad-bladed swords. It was the yellow-ganged guard. His body fell right on top of Pippin, still clutching its long saw-edged knife.

... 'Put up your weapons!' shouted Uglúk. 'And let's have no more nonsense! We go straight west from here, and down the stair. From there straight to the downs, then along the river to the forest. And we march day and night. That clear?'

... 'Now,' thought Pippin, 'if only it takes that ugly fellow a little while to get his troop under control, I've got a chance.' A gleam of hope had come to him. The edge of the black knife had snickered his arm, and then slid down to his wrist. He felt the blood trickling on to his hand, but he also felt the cold touch of steel against his skin.

... The Orcs were getting ready to march again, but some of the Northerners were still unwilling, and the Isengarders slew two more before the rest were cowed. There was much cursing and confusion. For the moment Pippin was unwatched. His legs were securely bound, but his arms were only tied about the wrists, and his hands were in front of him. He could move them both together, though the bonds were cruelly tight. He pushed the dead Orc to one side, then hardly daring to breathe, he drew the knot of the wrist-cord up and down against the blade of the knife. It was harp and the dead hand held it fast. The cord was cut! Quickly Pippin took it in his fingers and knotted it again into a loose bracelet of two loops and slipped it over his hands. Then he lay very still."




sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 27 2009, 12:02pm

Post #8 of 33 (237 views)
Shortcut
'specially in my house ;) // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 27 2009, 12:03pm

Post #9 of 33 (249 views)
Shortcut
I'll hafta let you know later. >:{ [In reply to] Can't Post

Apparently it doesn't like rain. *grumble, spew*


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 27 2009, 3:18pm

Post #10 of 33 (232 views)
Shortcut
Thinking in a tight situation [In reply to] Can't Post

...very tight, in more ways than one! This is the second time he's been given a sudden opportunity, and taken full advantage of it.

No "foolish" youngster is he; he's open to "following his heart", and even when he seems to have done the wrong thing, it's been for the best!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 27 2009, 3:20pm

Post #11 of 33 (234 views)
Shortcut
Oh no! [In reply to] Can't Post

Umm...maybe you could affix an umbrella over it?

*considers that maybe gramma needs a laser ray-gun to punch a hole in clouds*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 27 2009, 4:07pm

Post #12 of 33 (229 views)
Shortcut
or [In reply to] Can't Post

a bazooka! ;)


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 27 2009, 4:09pm

Post #13 of 33 (230 views)
Shortcut
I love how he [In reply to] Can't Post

just acts on impulse! He's got such clarity and great powers of observation. This is what it's like when he's left to himself in dire situations. I think he's also all the more focused because he's trying to save Merry... who is injured. Love is a great motivator :)


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 28 2009, 8:36am

Post #14 of 33 (254 views)
Shortcut
TIME - May 28 [In reply to] Can't Post

Today in Middle-earth.

May 28, 2941 (S.R. 1341)
1. The road swings southeast through open country. Ahead are the hills of the Trollshaws.
(from Karen Wynn Fonstad, The Atlas of Middle-earth)
..."Mostly it had been as good as May can be, even in merry tales, but now it was cold and wet. In the Lone-lands they had to camp when they could, but at least it had been dry.
..."To think it will soon be June," grumbled Bilbo as he splashed along behind the others in a very muddy track. It was after tea-time; it was pouring with rain, and had been all day; his hood was dripping into his eyes, his cloak was full of water; the pony was tired and stumbled on stones; the others were too grumpy to talk. "And I'm sure the rain has got into the dry clothes and into the food-bags," thought Bilbo. "Bother burgling and everything to do with it! I wish I was at home in my nice hole by the fire, with the kettle just beginning to sing!" It was not the last time that he wished that!"


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 28 2009, 10:16am

Post #15 of 33 (238 views)
Shortcut
Ever gone on a hike [In reply to] Can't Post

and found yourself slogging through a sudden pouring rain? Poor Bilbo!

The Dwarves probably did not mind it as much, since they were used to travel; but our dear Hobbit no doubt had always carried an umbrella with him when it looked like rain, and up til now his "journeys" were simple "walks" (meaning day-hikes).

An umbrella! Now why didn't Gandalf think to bring his along when he brought his handkerchiefs?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 28 2009, 4:31pm

Post #16 of 33 (225 views)
Shortcut
We're having exactly this [In reply to] Can't Post

kind of weather this week! Coldish, raining, foggy, blizzery days. Actually, I really love walking in this kind of weather.. or standing on the beach of Lake Michigan (westward... great sunsets and wind gusts). You really feel all filled with fresh air and the warmth of a hot meal and mug after putting on your fuzzy sweats is so delicious!

Now, in poor Bilbo's case...nasty. Just nasty.


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 29 2009, 8:46am

Post #17 of 33 (299 views)
Shortcut
TIME - May 29 [In reply to] Can't Post

Today in Middle-earth.

May 29, 2941 (S.R. 1341)
1. The weather turns trollish; and the Company realizes Gandalf is missing.
(from Karen Wynn Fonstad, The Atlas of Middle-earth)
......Soon it was nearly dark.... ...Not until then did they notice that Gandalf was missing. So far he had come all the way with them, never saying if he was in the adventure or merely keeping them company for a while. He had eaten most, talked most, and laughed most. But now he simply was not there at all!
..."Just when a wizard would have been most useful, too," groaned Dori and Nori (who shared the hobbit's views about regular meals, plenty and often).
...They decided in the end that they would have to camp where they were.... ...They moved to a clump of trees, and though it was drier under them, the wind shook the rain off the leaves, and the drip, drip, was most annoying. Also the mischief seemed to have got into the fire. Dwarves can make a fire almost anywhere out of almost anything, wind or no wind; but they could not do it that night, not even Oin and Gloin, who were specially good at it."

...There they all sat glum and wet and muttering, while Oin and Gloin went on trying to light the fire, and quarrelling about it. Bilbo was sadly reflecting that adventures are not all pony-rides in May-sunshine, when Balin, who was always their look-out man, said: "There's a light over there...!'

..."Now it is the burglar's turn," they said, meaning Bilbo. "You must go on and find out all about that light, and what it is for, and if all is perfectly safe and canny," said Thorin to the hobbit. "Now scuttle off, and come back quick, if all is well. If not, come back if you can! If you can't, hoot twice like a barn-owl and once like a screech-owl, and we will do what we can."
...Off Bilbo had to go, before he could explain that he could not hoot even once like any kind of owl any more than fly like a bat. But at any rate hobbits can move quietly in woods, absolutely quietly.... ...he got right up to the fire—for fire it was—without disturbing anyone. And this is what he saw.
...Three very large persons sitting round a very large fire of beech-logs. They were toasting mutton on long spits of wood, and licking the gravy off their fingers. There was a fine toothsome smell. Also there was a barrel of good drink at hand, and they were drinking out of jugs.
...But they were trolls. Obviously trolls. Even Bilbo, in spite of his sheltered life, could see that: from the great heavy faces of them, and their size, and the shape of their legs, not to mention their language, which was not drawing-room fashion at all, at all.
..."Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer," said one of the trolls.
..."Never a blinking bit of manflesh have we had for long enough," said a second. "What the 'ell William was a-thinkin' of to bring us into these parts at all, beats me—and the drink runnin' short, what's more," he said jogging the elbow of William, who was taking a pull at his jug....

...Yes, I am afraid trolls do behave like that, even those with only one head each. After hearing all this Bilbo ought to have done something at once. Either he should have gone back quietly and warned his friends that there were three fair-sized trolls at hand in a nasty mood, quite likely to try toasted dwarf, or even pony, for a change; or else he should have done a bit of good quick burgling.... ...Of the various burglarious proceedings he had heard of picking the trolls' pockets seemed the least difficult, so at last he crept behind a tree just behind William.
...Bert and Tom went off to the barrel. William was having another drink. Then Bilbo plucked up courage and put his little hand in William's enormous pocket. There was a purse in it, as big as a bag to Bilbo. "Ha!" thought he warming to his new work as he lifted it carefully out, "this is a beginning!"
...It was! Trolls' purses are the mischief, and this was no exception. "'Ere, 'oo are you?" it squeaked, as it left the pocket; and William turned round at once and grabbed Bilbo by the neck, before he could duck behind the tree.
..."Blimey, Bert, look what I've copped!" said William.
..."What is it?" said the others coming up.
..."Lumme, if I knows! What are yer?"
..."Bilbo Baggins, a bur—a hobbit," said poor Bilbo, shaking all over, and wondering how to make owl-noises before they throttled him.
..."A Burrahobbit?" said they a bit startled. Trolls are slow in the uptake...."


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 29 2009, 10:15am

Post #18 of 33 (282 views)
Shortcut
Barn-owls and screech-owls! [In reply to] Can't Post

Reading passages like this, one can almost hear Tolkien's sons giggling with delight at the scene of those trolls, and little asides like "even those with one head each".

Pushy Dwarves and uncouth Trolls and talking purses - and our burahobbit Mr. Baggins is in far over his head!

I wonder what kind of voice that Purse will have...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 29 2009, 2:09pm

Post #19 of 33 (239 views)
Shortcut
The Sorting Hat comes to mind ;) [In reply to] Can't Post

But a Trollish purse would definitely have an attitude, fersher!

I'm always taken by how much Tolkien puts into this discussion among the Trolls. You can tell when he loves characters and is probably getting a great response from the youngsters. Probably the more giggles he got, the more the discussion grew :) I'm sure this very dignified Professor's voice being screwed up to sound like these 3 Trolls what a hoot (pardon the pun) in itself ;)


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 30 2009, 10:08am

Post #20 of 33 (542 views)
Shortcut
TIME - May 30 [In reply to] Can't Post

Today in Middle-earth.

May 30, 2941 (S.R. 1341)
1. Gandalf keeps the trolls arguing until dawn.
(from Karen Wynn Fonstad, The Atlas of Middle-earth)
... ""No sooner did Tom see Balin come into the light than he gave an awful howl. Trolls simply detest the very sight of dwarves (uncooked). Bert and Bill stopped fighting immediately, and "a sack, Tom, quick!" they said, before Balin, who was wondering where in all this commotion Bilbo was, knew what was happening, a sack was over his head, and he was down.
... "There's more to come yet," said Tom, "or I'm mighty mistook. Lots and none at all, it is," said he. "No burra-hobbits, but lots of these here dwarves. That's about the shape of it!"
... "I reckon you're right," said Bert, "and we'd best get out of the light."
... And so they did. With sacks in their hands, that they used for carrying off mutton and other plunder, they waited in the shadows. As each dwarf came up and looked at the fire, and the spilled jugs, and the gnawed mutton, in surprise, pop! went a nasty smelly sack over his head, and he was down. Soon Dwalin lay by Balin, and Fili and Kili together, and Dori and Nori and Ori all in a heap, and Oin and Gloin and Bifur and Bofur and Bombur piled uncomfortably near the fire.
... "That'll teach 'em," said Tom; for Bifur and Bombur had given a lot of trouble, and fought like mad, as dwarves will when cornered.
... Thorin came last—and he was not caught unawares. He came expecting mischief, and didn't need to see his friends' legs sticking out of sacks to tell him that things were not all well. He stood outside in the shadows some way off, and said: "What's all this trouble? Who has been knocking my people about?"
... "It's trolls!" said Bilbo from behind a tree. They had forgotten all about him. "They're hiding in the bushes with sacks," said he.
... "O! are they?" said Thorin, and he jumped forward to the fire, before they could leap on him. He caught up a big branch all on fire at one end; and Bert got that end in his eye before he could step aside. That put him out of the battle for a bit. Bilbo did his best. He caught hold of Tom's leg—as well as he could, it was thick as a young tree-trunk—but he was sent spinning up into the top of some bushes, when Tom kicked the sparks up in Thorin's face.
... Tom got the branch in his teeth for that, and lost one of the front ones. It made him howl, I can tell you. But just at that moment William came up behind and popped a sack right over Thorin's head and down to his toes. And so the fight ended. A nice pickle they were all in now: all neatly tied up in sacks, with three angry trolls (and two with burns and bashes to remember) sitting by them, arguing whether they should roast them slowly, or mince them fine and boil them, or just sit on them one by one and squash them into jelly: and Bilbo up in a bush, with his clothes and his skin torn, not daring to move for fear they should hear him....

......It was just then that Gandalf came back. But no one saw him. The trolls had just decided to roast the dwarves now and eat them later---that was Bert's idea, and after a lot of argument they had all agreed to it.
..."No good roasting 'em now, it'd take all night," said a voice. Bert thought it was William's.
..."Don't start the argument all over again, Bill," he said, "or it will take all night."
..."Who's a-arguing?" said William, who thought it was Bert that had spoken.
..."You are," said Bert.
..."You're a liar," said William; and so the argument began all over again. In the end they decided to mince them fine and boil them. So they got a great black pot, and they took out their knives.
..."No good boiling 'em! We ain't got no water, and it's a long way to the well and all," said a voice. Bert and William thought it was Tom's.
..."Shut up!" said they, "or we'll never have done. And yer can fetch the water yerself, if yer say any more."
..."Shut up yerself!" said Tom, who thought it was William's voice. "Who's arguing but you, I'd like to know."
..."You're a booby," said William.
..."Booby yerself!' said Tom.
...And so the argument began all over again, and went on hotter than ever, until at last they decided to sit on the sacks one by one and squash them, and boil them next time.
..."Who shall we sit on first?" said the voice....

..."...Now stop it!" said Tom and Bert together. "The night's getting' on, and dawn comes early. Let's get on with it!"
..."Dawn take you all, and be stone to you!" said a voice that sounded like William's. But it wasn't. For just at that moment the light came over the hill, and there was a mighty twitter in the branches. William never spoke for he stood turned to stone as he stooped; and Bert and Tom were stuck like rocks as they looked at him. And there they stand to this day all alone, unless the birds perch on them; for trolls, as you probably know, must be underground before dawn, or they go back to the stuff of the mountains they are made of, and never move again. That is what had happened to Bert and Tom and William.
..."Excellent!" said Gandalf, as he stepped from behind a tree, and helped Bilbo to climb down out of a thornbush. Then Bilbo understood. It was the wizard's voice that had kept the trolls bickering and quarrelling, until the light came and made an end of them.

..."The next thing was to untie the sacks and let out the dwarves. They were nearly suffocated, and very annoyed: they had not at all enjoyed lying there listening to the trolls making plans for roasting them and squashing them and mincing them. They had to hear Bilbo's account of what had happened to him twice over, before they were satisfied.
..."Silly time to go practicing pinching and pocket-picking," said Bombur, "when what we wanted was fire and food!"
..."And that's just what you wouldn't have got of those fellows without a struggle, in any case," said Gandalf. "Anyhow you are wasting time now. Don't you realize that the trolls must have a cave or a hole dug somewhere near to hide from the sun in? We must look into it!"
...They searched about, and soon found the marks of trolls' stony boots going away through the trees. They followed the tracks up the hill, until hidden by bushes they came on a big door of stone leading to a cave. But they could not open it, not though they all pushed while Gandalf tried various incantations.
..."Would this be any good?" asked Bilbo, when they were getting tired and angry. "I found it on the ground where the trolls had their fight." He held out a largish key, though no doubt William had thought it very small and secret. It must have fallen out of his pocket, very luckily, before he was turned to stone.

..."Why on earth didn't you mention it before?" they cried. Gandalf grabbed it and fitted it into the key-hole. Then the stone door swung back with one big push, and they all went inside. There were bones on the floor and a nasty smell was in the air; but there was a good deal of food jumbled carelessly on shelves and on the ground, among an untidy litter of plunder, of all sorts from brass buttons to pots full of gold coins standing in a corner. There were lots of clothes, too, hanging on the walls—too small for trolls, I am afraid they belonged to victims—and among them were several swords of various makes, shapes, and sizes. Two caught their eyes particularly, because of their beautiful scabbards and jewelled hilts.
...Gandalf and Thorin each took one of these; and Bilbo took a knife in a leather sheath. It would have made only a tiny pocket-knife for a troll, but it was as good as a short sword for the hobbit.
..."These look like good blades," said the wizard, half drawing them and looking at them curiously. "They were not made by any troll, nor by any smith among men in these parts and days; but when we can read the runes on them, we shall know more about them.""


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 30 2009, 1:48pm

Post #21 of 33 (211 views)
Shortcut
Dwarves - uncooked! [In reply to] Can't Post

This is both horrifying and humorous at the same time! I can't forget Ian Holm's "...squish us into jelly" line when I read this; the entire scene is "delicious"! Laugh

Now, a quiz: three times in The Hobbit, Bilbo has to use, or cause someone to use, a key (or keys) to unlock door(s). What are the other two times? Angelic

(And there's some concern about Gandalf not being able to read the runes on the swords. Tolkien's unfinished revision provides the reason: the blades and hilts are covered with "black goblin-blood", and need proper cleaning first before the runes can be clearly seen.)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 31 2009, 1:38pm

Post #22 of 33 (207 views)
Shortcut
It's time for some BS! [In reply to] Can't Post

Here's a Book Spoiler telling of how Luthien and Huan became friends... for a moment of Tolkien-zen.

Of Beren and Lúthien: The Silmarillion


... "It chanced that Celegorm and Curufin went on a hunt through the Guarded Plain; and this they did because Sauron, being filled with suspicion, sent forth many wolves into the Elf-lands. Therefore they took their hounds and rode forth; and they thought that ere they returned they might also hear tidings concerning King Felagund. Now the chief of the wolf hounds that followed Celegorm was named Huan. He was not born in Middle-earth, but came from the Blessed Realm; for Oromë had given him to Celegorm long ago in Valinor, and there he had followed the horn of his master, before evil came. Huan followed Celegorm into exile, and was faithful; and thus he too came under the doom of woe set upon the Noldor, and it was decreed that he should meet death, but not until he encountered the mightiest wolf that would ever walk the world.
... Huan it was that found Lúthien flying like a shadow surprised by the daylight under the trees, when Celegorm and Curufin rested a while near to the western eaves of Doriath; for nothing could escape the sight and scent of Huan, nor could any enchantment stay him, and he slept not, neither by night nor day. He brought her to Celegorm, and Lúthien, learning that he was a prince of the Noldor and a foe of Morgoth, was glad; and she declared herself, casting aside her cloak. So great was her sudden beauty revealed beneath the sun that Celegorm became enamoured of her; but he spoke her fair, and promised that she would find help in her need, if she returned with him now to Nargothrond. By no sign did he reveal that he knew already of Beren and the quest, of which she told, nor that it was a matter which touched him near.
... Thus they broke off the hunt and returned to Nargothrond, and Lúthien was betrayed; for they held her fast, and took away her cloak, and she was not permitted to pass the gates or to speak with any save the brothers, Celegorm and Curufin. For now, believing that Beren and Felagund were prisoners beyond hope of aid, they purposed to let the King perish, and to keep Lúthien, and force Thingol to give her the mightiest of princes of the Noldor. And they did not purpose to seek the Silmarils by craft or war, or to suffer any others to do so, until they had all the might of the Elf-kingdoms under their hands. Orodreth had no power to withstand them, for they swayed the hearts of the people of Nargothrond; and Celegorm sent messengers to Thingol urging his suit.
... But Huan the hound was true of heart, and the love of Lúthien had fallen upon him in the first hour of their meeting; and he grieved at her captivity. Therefore he came often to her chamber; and at night he lay before her door, for he felt that evil had come to Nargothrond. Lúthien spoke often to Huan in her loneliness, telling of Beren, who was the friend of all birds and beasts that did not serve Morgoth; and Huan understood all that was said. For he comprehended the speech of all things with voice; but it was permitted to him thrice only ere his death to speak with words.
... Now Huan devised a plan for the aid of Lúthien; and coming at a time of night he brought her cloak, and for the first time he spoke, giving her counsel. Then he led her by secret ways out of Nargothrond, and they fled north together; and he humbled his pride and suffered her to ride upon him in the fashion of a steed, even as the Orcs did at times upon great wolves. Thus they made great speed, for Huan was swift and tireless."


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Immortal


May 31 2009, 1:54pm

Post #23 of 33 (211 views)
Shortcut
*hand shoots up* ooo! ooo! I know!! [In reply to] Can't Post

And I haven't peeked, either! Uhhhh... When he steals the Elve's keys for the dungeons to release the Dwarves and when they unlocked the hidden door of the Mountain!

That makes sense about the swords needed a proper cleaning before they'd be clear enough to read. I can see Elrond spitting on the swords and wiping them with his robe before reading them ;)


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 31 2009, 5:47pm

Post #24 of 33 (196 views)
Shortcut
Eeeuw! [In reply to] Can't Post

"Okay, let's take a look at these swords..." *ptui! ptui! rub-rub-rub*

"Cut! Hugo, we need more spit!"

Um...I don't think so...Laugh!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


May 31 2009, 5:59pm

Post #25 of 33 (211 views)
Shortcut
Great indeed was the heart of Huan [In reply to] Can't Post

that he could "sniff out" his master's betrayal, and ally himself with the one who was pure in heart - and at his own expense provide for her needs!

The text does not say, but one can wonder whether, when it came time for Lúthien to finally leave the world, Huan, for his love of her, was given the grace to go with her...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915


First page Previous page 1 2 Next page Last page  View All
 
 

Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.