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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Reading Room:
The Unofficial Bored of the Rings Discussion, Chapter II: Three's Company, Four's a Bore - I

dernwyn
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May 17 2009, 2:34am


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The Unofficial Bored of the Rings Discussion, Chapter II: Three's Company, Four's a Bore - I Can't Post

Like that annoying mosquito that keeps buzzing around your head and which is impossible to swat away, we continue on with the Unofficial Bored of the Rings discussion!

The title of this chapter is "Three's Company, Four's a Bore". Aside from the obvious reference to the "Three's Company" chapter in LotR, the authors had uncanny insight: Tolkien's original title for this chapter was "Three's Company and Four's More".

As usual, you may tackle these questions, add some of your own, or offer profound insights:


Quote
"If I were thee," said Goodgulf, "I would start on thy journey soon." Frito looked up absently from his rutabaga tea.

"For half a groat you can be me, Goodgulf. I don't remember volunteering for this Ring business."

"This is not the time for idle banter," said the Wizard, pulling a rabbit from his battered hat. "Dildo left days ago and awaits you at Riv'n'dell, as will I. There the fate of the Ring will be decided by all the peoples of Lower Middle Earth."

Frito pretended to be engrossed in his cup as Spam entered from the dining room and began tidying up the hole, packing up the last of Dildo's belongings for storage.

"'Lo, Master Frito," he rasped, pulling a greasy forelock. "Just gettin' the rest o' the stuff together for your uncle what mysteriously disappeared wi'out a trace. Strange business that, eh?" Seeing that no explanation was forthcoming, the faithful servant shuffled off into Dildo's bedroom. Goodgulf, hastily retrieving his rabbit, who was being loudly sick on the carpet, resumed speaking.

"Are you sure he can be trusted?"

Frito smiled. "Of course. Spam's been a true friend of mine since we were weanlings at obedience school together."

"And he knows nothing of the Ring?"

"Nothing," said Frito. "I am sure of it."

-Have you ever had rutabaga tea? What did it taste like?
-Did the authors effectively show how LotR's Frodo felt after learning about the Ring? Or how Sam really knew what was going on?
-What is a "groat"?



Quote
Goodgulf looked dubiously toward the closed door of the bedroom. "You still have it, don't you?"

Frito nodded and fished out the chain of paper clips that secured it to his tattersall bowling shirt.

"Then be careful with it," said Goodgulf, "for it has many strange powers."

"Like turning my pocket green?" asked the young boggie, turning the small circlet in his stubby fingers. Fearfully he stared at it, as he had so many times in the past few days. It was made of bright metal and was encrusted with strange devices and inscriptions. Around the inner surface was written something in a language unknown to Frito.

"I can't make out the words," said Frito.

"No, you cannot," said Goodgulf. "They are elvish, in the tongue of Fordor. A rough translation is:

"This Ring, no other, is made by the elves,
Who'd pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.
Ruler of creeper, mortal, and scallop,
This is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.
The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring.
The Power, alrighty, for doing your Own Thing.
If broken or busted, it cannot be remade.
If found, send to Sorhed (the postage is prepaid)."

"Shakestoor, it isn't," said Frito, hurriedly putting the Ring back in his shirt pocket.

"But a dire warning nonetheless," said Goodgulf. "Even now Sorhed's tools are abroad sniffing for this ring, and the time grows short before they smell it here. It is the time to set off for Riv'n'dell." The old magician stood, walked to the bedroom door, and opened it with a jerk. With a heavy crash, Spam fell forward ear first, his pockets full of Dildo's best mithrilplate tablespoons. "And this will be your faithful companion." As Goodgulf passed into the bedroom, Spam grinned sheepishly at Frito with a lop-eared stupidity Frito had learned to love, futilely trying to hide the spoons in his pockets.

Ignoring Spam, Frito called fearfully after the Wizard. "But--but--there are still many preparations I must make! My bags-"

"Have no worry," said Goodgulf as he held out two valises. "I took the precaution of packing them for you."

-One would think the authors had been reading some of our Conspiracy Theory or Scenes from the Hat threads! What do you think was "encrusted" on the outside of this Ring?
-Compare this Ring inscription with that for the One Ring.
-Does Spam suitably fill in for Lobelia?
-How large is a valise?
-Do Goodgulf's actions bring to mind Gandalf bringing along items for Bilbo after that hobbit had hurriedly left his hole on his adventure with the Dwarves? Why or why not?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915


Subject User Time
The Unofficial Bored of the Rings Discussion, Chapter II: Three's Company, Four's a Bore - I dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 17 2009, 2:34am
    Rutabaga tea and other strange devices squire Send a private message to squire May 17 2009, 4:13pm
        I don't think I've seen dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 17 2009, 9:04pm
            There are no rutabagas FarFromHome Send a private message to FarFromHome May 17 2009, 9:38pm
                Bostonian humor dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 18 2009, 2:31am
                    I should have realized that... FarFromHome Send a private message to FarFromHome May 19 2009, 4:06pm
    A few answers sador Send a private message to sador May 18 2009, 9:05am
        Molluscy forbids... squire Send a private message to squire May 18 2009, 10:14am
            A riddle as old as... dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 18 2009, 11:57am
        Four's more than...what? dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 18 2009, 12:03pm
    I haven't responded to one of these before. GaladrielTX Send a private message to GaladrielTX May 19 2009, 12:39pm
        Groovy, man. dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 19 2009, 9:45pm
            Uhh... thanks...I think. GaladrielTX Send a private message to GaladrielTX May 20 2009, 5:21pm
    Agent 00 1/2 Darkstone Send a private message to Darkstone May 20 2009, 8:23pm
        You were given an exploding valise? dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 20 2009, 9:00pm
            Yep! Darkstone Send a private message to Darkstone May 20 2009, 10:03pm
                Same. Ataahua Send a private message to Ataahua May 22 2009, 12:10am
            The 007 *briefcase* squire Send a private message to squire May 20 2009, 10:03pm
                You two must have been terrors! dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn May 21 2009, 1:31am

 
 
 

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