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Blast from the past: "You Know You're Addicted to LOTR when..."
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Stapper
Lorien


Apr 26 2009, 7:33pm

Post #1 of 28 (913 views)
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Blast from the past: "You Know You're Addicted to LOTR when..." Can't Post

I just came across the following post by Chip of Dale (had it bookmarked apparently). It was still on the old TORn RPG board, and it's dated 1 December 2004.
Have fun ticking 'em off.



Quote

You Know You're Addicted to LotR When...

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.

You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."

She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"

You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.

All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"

You hate Burger King food, but you ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.

You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from
www.LordoftheRings.net

You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.

Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.

You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge £50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?

You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.

You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.

You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"

You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Syrian Elves to your 5-year old cousins.

You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.

You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.

While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'

You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.

You have a replica of The One Ring.

You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.

You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.

You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!

You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.

You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.

You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessions are offered in your area.

You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.

You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.

You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.

You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.

You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.

At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts

Single ads with the description," short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.

You know The LoTR history better then your family history.

You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.

You know Elvish better then English.

Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.

When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...

You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.

You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.

You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.

You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.

You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.

Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with it's evil powers.

Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

You face every difficult decision with the thought "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter

You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"

A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.



I'd give you the link, but I'm not sure if the TORn servers can handle a horde of people checking a very old post all at the same time. That kind of cyberspace stuff is beyond me. It'd be nice if you could all read the responses...



FOTR:50 links / Samwise's cookbook / TORn birthday calendar / 'Things you never (want to) hear people say' list

Samwise's cookbook (new & updated)

(This post was edited by Stapper on Apr 26 2009, 7:41pm)


Rosie-with-the-ribbons
Forum Admin / Moderator


Apr 26 2009, 7:53pm

Post #2 of 28 (589 views)
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These are hilarious [In reply to] Can't Post

and I shamefully have to admit that some (probably more than some) are true.

And I think by now my neighbours are really thinking I have gone mad this weekend. Screaming, shouting, jumping for joy, crying and now laughing out loud, oops....


Lily Fairbairn
Half-elven


Apr 26 2009, 8:15pm

Post #3 of 28 (618 views)
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And a couple more... [In reply to] Can't Post

I will confess to way too many of these, and can throw in a couple more, perfectly true:

The Gaffer and I have a plaque outside our front door reading "Bag End". On a table just inside the door we have a photo of the two of us standing in front of the Bag End movie set in New Zealand.

Our trees have LotR names. And of the two oaks in the front yard, Quickbeam always leafs out a week or so before Treebeard!

Oh, and a third: I have the white tree of Gondor tattooed on my arm -- and it was done by the same artist who tattooed the Fellowship actors!

Ah well, you couldn't ask for a most positive, benign, addiction. LotR rules!!!

SmileWinkSmile

Thanks, Stapper!

* * * * * * *
Do we walk in legends or on the green earth in the daylight?

A man may do both. For not we but those who come after will make the legends of our time. The green earth, say you? That is a mighty matter of legend, though you tread it under the light of day!


Larewen
Lorien


Apr 26 2009, 8:50pm

Post #4 of 28 (584 views)
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Not my neighbors [In reply to] Can't Post

But my family thinks I am nuts, LOL
I have been trying to get online as much as possible with all things being against me this weekend. Wink


Photobucket


Suebe2b
Bree


Apr 26 2009, 9:18pm

Post #5 of 28 (574 views)
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My family Too! [In reply to] Can't Post

Half of the family love the books and films , the others don't get it! Thats ok with me, I still have LOTR's stuff every where. What if the Hobbit had been made first? We may have never got the trilogy. Thats scary is, it not?


Laerasėa
Tol Eressea


Apr 26 2009, 9:20pm

Post #6 of 28 (576 views)
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I like this one... [In reply to] Can't Post


Quote
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.



There should be a little addendum, though, that the reason you don't pass them on is that all of your other friends have probably already seen this list.

********************************
Traveling Journal Official Site
The journal is finally in America!!


Larewen
Lorien


Apr 26 2009, 9:25pm

Post #7 of 28 (569 views)
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A scary thought. Yes! [In reply to] Can't Post

But it didn't happen, thank goodness. Now we have something to look forward to again. We can also drive our family crazy too, LOL


Photobucket

Photobucket


Suebe2b
Bree


Apr 26 2009, 9:37pm

Post #8 of 28 (568 views)
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YES! HaHa [In reply to] Can't Post

 
And that's the most fun, driving them crazy! The favorite saying around here is if mom's picking on you, then she's leaving me alone. Happy anniversary TORn, and many more !


diedye
Grey Havens


Apr 26 2009, 10:08pm

Post #9 of 28 (571 views)
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"You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss".... [In reply to] Can't Post

Ya think sssso?

I gotta add a couple more...

"... you blame the existence of your other two schizoid personalities on Tolkien."

"... you keep looking for LOTR names in the list of customers you input daily into your work computer."



Blessed are the cracked,
For they are the ones who let in the light!




Sunflower
Valinor

Apr 26 2009, 11:05pm

Post #10 of 28 (564 views)
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A couple more [In reply to] Can't Post

--You can't walk past a display of strawberries in the Fruit and veggie section in the grocery store without pausing and getting misty-eyed ("Do you remember the taste of strawberries"?:)
--If you have the money, you buy a pint of them and a pint of heavy cream. Not that tasteless modern from a can stuff.
--This happens so often that you learn to bring not enough money to buy this stuff.

--Items of food remind you of scenes in LOTr and as you eat them you imagine you are in the films. Bacon, Sausage, apples, tomatoes, PO-TA-TOES, muffins and rolls, tarts, (esp blackberry), cheese (of course the expensive stuff, not the pre-packaged factory sludge slices), etc etc.
NOTE: Add to this list "Hobbit" fare--salad, pork, raspberry jam, cold chicken and eggses!

--You can't see Guillermo del Toro's name in a newspaper or magazine etc without getting a cold shiver down your spine.
--You sit up night after night writing other stuff on your computer but check TORN religiously a couple times a day for ANY, ANY Hobbit news!!
--You wonder obsessively just what breed the cats of Queen Brethilal (sp ) were.


Menelwyn
Rohan


Apr 27 2009, 12:20am

Post #11 of 28 (562 views)
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wouldn't know anything about that [In reply to] Can't Post

"Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations. "
Hmm, wait, that sounds familiar.

"You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!" "
Yeah, and I don't even like beer.

"You know The LoTR history better then your family history. "
Ok, now this is getting scary.

How about this one: Your students think you should translate the school's Honor Code into Quenya and post it in your classroom. (Yes, it's happened.)

Another one: You can't say the words "jackets" and "pockets"; the correct words are "jacketses" and "pocketses".


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Apr 27 2009, 12:30am

Post #12 of 28 (561 views)
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Oh! Good for you Stapper!! Another is [In reply to] Can't Post

you have an urge to travel in packs of 13 +1



sample

"Barney Snow was here." ~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists


a.s.
Valinor


Apr 27 2009, 12:48am

Post #13 of 28 (566 views)
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You actually say this at a business meeting: [In reply to] Can't Post

"The Precious! We wants it!"

LOL

a.s. (who said this when a project director announced a special "prize" for incentive, causing most people to simply stare at her and some to shake their heads and look away...)

"an seileachan"

God is eternal, without beginning or end. Don't worry too much about tomorrow. God is already there.




Sunflower
Valinor

Apr 27 2009, 3:18am

Post #14 of 28 (544 views)
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And did you say it in a Gollum voice? :) (nt) [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Sunflower
Valinor

Apr 27 2009, 3:22am

Post #15 of 28 (549 views)
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Would that be... [In reply to] Can't Post

"students" or STUDENT, Menelwyn? <G> Wink

How about this--you actually find yourself checking TORN before your favorite U2 site every morning, and this is during the period leading up to, and during, their latest world tour (Elevation 2001.)
Did this happen to you Menelwyn? :) It did to me--that showed you how obsessed I was!


Kelvarhin
Half-elven


Apr 27 2009, 3:35am

Post #16 of 28 (546 views)
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Umm [In reply to] Can't Post

how about


Quote
You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books


You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up to 2am reading messages on TORn?

Blush Guilty as charged BlushLaughWink




Kelvarhin's Universe~~~~~~~Laerasea's Travelling TORn Journal
One book to rule them all
One book to find them
One book to bring them all
And in TORn bind them
In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play


luinfalathiel
Lorien


Apr 27 2009, 4:48am

Post #17 of 28 (551 views)
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Stapper! Lovely to see you! [In reply to] Can't Post

And thanks for the re-post ... that was a nice find! :D (save?)

Follow my adventures!
http://simulflow.vox.com

Gandalf: Good benevolent I!
http://pounce.skew.org/...ncerninghobbits.html

the eye of luinfalathiel

the eye of luinfalathiel


Goldberry of the river
Lorien


Apr 27 2009, 9:05am

Post #18 of 28 (577 views)
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Kind of addicted :) [In reply to] Can't Post

"You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation."
I have been known to do this. My mum has read the books once and watched the films a few times so sometimes it takes her a few seconds to realise what I'm going on about.

"You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf,"
I find walking down the stairs gives me the best train!

"You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth."
Never have, but that's a really good idea! However near my town is Dartmoor National Park which have various hills with barrow in the name (Three Barrow, White Barrow), so I do look up at the moors sometimes and think "The Barrow Downs!!"

"While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.' "
Often!

"You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessions are offered in your area."
I've been tempted to learn archery!

"You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss."
My boyfriend is just glad I don't look like Gollum.

"You know The LoTR history better then your family history."
LOTR history is more interesting!

"When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs..."
Sometimes, but I've sung the hobbit drinking song whilst walking, is that ok? I was walking in the countryside with my dog so I didn't get any strange stares!

"Words like "Yrch" make sense to you."
It means orc!?

"You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast" "
I sometimes have a second breakfast but its only a couple of pieces of toast so haven't gained any weight!

Very good post Stapper. Including things from LOTR in my life helps me forget how depressing some things in the world are at the moment!

Brian Blessed for Thorin!

Formerly known as Rosie!

(This post was edited by Goldberry of the river on Apr 27 2009, 9:06am)


coltzen
Bree

Apr 27 2009, 10:00am

Post #19 of 28 (551 views)
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lol [In reply to] Can't Post

love this list!


a.s.
Valinor


Apr 27 2009, 10:45am

Post #20 of 28 (565 views)
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Um. Well. Yes. Of course I did. LOL // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"an seileachan"

God is eternal, without beginning or end. Don't worry too much about tomorrow. God is already there.




Menelwyn
Rohan


Apr 27 2009, 12:38pm

Post #21 of 28 (538 views)
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it is studentS actually [In reply to] Can't Post

They all know I'm obsessed. (The three LOTR posters in my classroom are pretty obvious, aside from many other things, like the physics problems about Gandalf going off the Bridge of Khazad-dum and so on.) The Spanish teachers at our school have the Honor Code posted in Spanish, so the kids think I ought to do something similar with Elvish.

Laera and I did have our own little LOTR moment last week though. We have tornado drill plans posted in each room. The signal for a tornado drill is "Three long rings". We both get distracted by that sign every time we look at it--what are those three rings for? The Elven-kings under the sky or something?

Laera also just PM'd me. I told her I got my physical U2 tickets in the mail this weekend, and she told me I now have three preciouses. Indeed.


the_argonath
Lorien


Apr 27 2009, 2:50pm

Post #22 of 28 (548 views)
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I can actually agree with: [In reply to] Can't Post

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.
You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from www.LordoftheRings.net
You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge £50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway? (Having just spent an insane amount of money on a new car, I've just spent another £20 on the Weta TORn birthday offer! Why on (Middle) Earth not!!)
You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.
You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey (read in through on my first attempt!)
You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter


And can add a couple more:
  • You take a picture of a signpost because it said "Saron" (which was 2 miles away... see attachment!)
  • You're running out of room for all your LotR items (and forgot you had most of them)
  • Everytime you have potatoes for tea, it's "taters precious!"... always in my household!!!


~*Haudh-en-Ndengin the Elves named it, the Hill of Slain, and Haugh-en-Nirnaeth, the Hill of tears... the earth beneath which the swords of the Eldar and the Edain crumbled into rust*~

Made it to the Shire!!
Attachments: 100_3290.JPG (106 KB)


Laerasėa
Tol Eressea


Apr 27 2009, 7:21pm

Post #23 of 28 (531 views)
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Don't forget Denethor [In reply to] Can't Post

I distinctly remember a problem about Denethor's jump in the movie. And then there were, of course, those problems about shooting arrows over the wall of Helm's Deep-- there were a few of those. The orcs couldn't do the math/physics themselves, apparently. (oh, and the French teachers have the Honor code in French, and the Latin teachers have it in Latin, too!! My current English teacher had it in a sort of Shakespearean dialect for a while, as well!)

And yes, I'm glad you have the tix, because I'd probably lose them between now and October, and I would rather risk no hurt to the tickets. They are precious to me.


Now...what were we talking about? Being obsessed with LOTR? Wink

********************************
Traveling Journal Official Site
The journal is finally in America!!


batik
Tol Eressea


Apr 27 2009, 7:40pm

Post #24 of 28 (524 views)
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well, this is a bit *mean* but [In reply to] Can't Post

referring to a (soon-to-be-former) daughter in law as Shelob. Who would do that?Shocked

On a lighter note, I do find hearing the word potatoes to be extraordinarily funny.


Alicia
Lorien

Apr 28 2009, 11:54pm

Post #25 of 28 (505 views)
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Oh dear [In reply to] Can't Post

Oh dear, oh dear... I am indeed obsessed, addicted, whatever you want to call it... with LoTR. That list absolutely cracked me up! Laugh So many of them are true of me... I think my personal fave is wearing the Ring from the bookmark so often that the gold has worn off. Been there, done that! Sly I ended up getting the silver One Ring a while back... I think, though, that the writing is wearing off (or maybe I just need to put it in the fire...)

-Alicia

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