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Why I brought up the Bullying subject here

orcbane
Gondor


Mar 13 2009, 1:52pm


Views: 1006
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Why I brought up the Bullying subject here Can't Post

I have not been able to keep up with all the posts and thoughts expressed in my original thread, Networks of Exsisting Friends, as it has gone off in its various directions. But I kind of expected that, and if it has allowed people to express thoughts and feelings they have not felt able to before, I am quite glad. That honest discussion happens is one half of what I hoped for & if even if it is all that occurs, I will think it worth the trouble. And, also as I expected, some interesting things have been expressed to, or about me in the process. But rather then respond directly and very likely turn discussion into arguements I would rather attempt to clear the air, in a general way, while I have the chance.

Why did I post that thread ?

To bring up the issue of bullying on the forum

Why now ?

I witnessed someone being, what I though was bullied last week.

Did you bring it up just for that Just for that ?

No. I have seen, what I think is bullying, many times, and felt on the recieving side of it myself.

Did you bring it up with the Mods ?

No

Why not ?

I am not completely sure. I do know what usually is happening is not in direct violation of the rules, but involves tone, and feelings, and is very difficult to deal with. This does revolve to a large extent upon opinion. So I took it on myself and if it proved wrong, would only bring the results of that error upon myself.

Why did you bring it up here ?

Other methods of addressing it were not working ?

What else did you try ?

At first expressing that I did not like the method of their response, and then in frustration and anger just confronting fire with fire. I tried to hold the line of and not crossed over into unprovoked attacking. I really just want me and other like me, to be left alone, and only struck out when provoked. But I was responding in increasing fury and saw myself slowly loosing control. I felt I was beginning to cross the line and respond combatively when only lightly provoked or not at all. Seeing myself at the brink of banning, I left for several months. Coming back I, felt the original problem still exsisted and perhaps was even worse. What I witnessed seemed so senseless. And since the person was jumped because of their response to me (we were joking together) I responded in kind in their defense. All anger returned in a moment, but I knew that would accomplish nothing.

What about the other three issues you brought up ?

They were genuine thoughts on other ways to freshen things up. But they were minor and mainly on the list for another purpose. I knew the bullying issue would get hot. I felt that if there were easier things to discuss at first, the temperature would remain below critical long enough for the bullying issue to seep into people's minds and give then a chance to mull it over. What I wished to be known was: Is it happening ? Is it bad ? Just hearing it from me was not going to be enough. And if I raised the combative issue alone, the combative people would all start shouting and the quiet people would never be heard from.

Do you want to be a Mod ?

Sorry, but allow me and all the Mods here one 'lol' Now that is funny. :D

Am I a Champion-Bully ?

Reading that my first thought was: "a bitter jest" because the one who wrote it was the one I saw bullyied, the one I attempted to defend, and was the spark that brought this whole thing about. But to try to answer, I did not think so, going into this, but I do not really know. Perhaps that is the direction I am going or what I have become. I have made several allusions to this here and elsewhere, for it has been on my mind as for quite a while as well.

I really did not expect to survive the raising of this issue. To borrow a phrase, I have an evil name in the TORn land. Probably no one is more disliked. Some of this comes from my approach and manner, which I know some find in itself offensive. Some though, I believe comes from bringing up important issues practically no one else will, and are critical of other people. And you might find it ironic, but at least in my mind, involve trying to improve how people treat one another.

I feel I have accomplished the realistic part of my goal, and it is very satisfying to see many have felt emboldened to speak out. It has even been more satisfying to see positive responses from people taking it seriously and trying to come up with ways to improve it. It is of course less satisfying not getting any thanks for knocking down the spears with my self, long enough for you to speak.

And...this is me, and I can never resist a chance for one more song. Please don't be offended by the name of the group. I am actually one of the people they were referring to when they chose their name (true trivia). But I love some of their madness and you will probably not find a more pretty song by them

B-hole Surfers - Wooden Song http://www.youtube.com/...&feature=related



Subject User Time
Why I brought up the Bullying subject here orcbane Mar 13 2009, 1:52pm
    I hope this isn't a "goodbye" Finding Frodo Send a private message to Finding Frodo Mar 13 2009, 3:44pm
        Yes, I agree with Finding Frodo Penthe Send a private message to Penthe Mar 28 2009, 8:44am
    Perception Altaira Send a private message to Altaira Mar 13 2009, 3:48pm
        Culture versus individuals Dreamdeer Send a private message to Dreamdeer Mar 13 2009, 5:14pm
            List of Admins Arwen's daughter Send a private message to Arwen's daughter Mar 13 2009, 6:17pm
                Does it need to? Inferno Send a private message to Inferno Mar 13 2009, 7:10pm
                    D'oh! I've been doing it the long way! Arwen's daughter Send a private message to Arwen's daughter Mar 13 2009, 8:05pm
                        Alternatively, to get to someone's profile... Altaira Send a private message to Altaira Mar 14 2009, 1:42am
                    Dang! My cunning tactic has been outed... / Ataahua Send a private message to Ataahua Mar 15 2009, 7:15am
                Thank you!!! // Dreamdeer Send a private message to Dreamdeer Mar 13 2009, 8:01pm
            Dreamdeer, you are a treasure. Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Mar 13 2009, 7:21pm
                Wow! Really? Dreamdeer Send a private message to Dreamdeer Mar 13 2009, 8:08pm
                    In that case Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Mar 13 2009, 9:00pm
            Admins and mods Peredhil lover Send a private message to Peredhil lover Mar 13 2009, 7:23pm
                Good tips--thanks! // Dreamdeer Send a private message to Dreamdeer Mar 13 2009, 8:09pm
                Add Kimi to that list Silverlode Send a private message to Silverlode Mar 14 2009, 6:55am
                    I *knew* I had missed someone! Thanks, Silverlode! // Peredhil lover Send a private message to Peredhil lover Mar 14 2009, 7:54am
    I feel you're being a little over-dramatic Ufthak Send a private message to Ufthak Mar 13 2009, 4:21pm
        *mods up* or Farawyn Send a private message to Farawyn Mar 14 2009, 1:16am
        to trip down memory lane a bit Annael Send a private message to Annael Mar 14 2009, 4:27am
            DON'T FORGET TORAK!!! =) // Eowyn of Penns Woods Send a private message to Eowyn of Penns Woods Mar 14 2009, 4:30am
                I AM YOUR ELDER WORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Draupne Send a private message to Draupne Mar 16 2009, 9:50am
            Oh yes, TLE Ufthak Send a private message to Ufthak Mar 14 2009, 3:26pm
                Didn't TLE entmaiden Send a private message to entmaiden Mar 14 2009, 9:32pm
                    I don't think so Ufthak Send a private message to Ufthak Mar 14 2009, 11:24pm
                        I'm sure you're right entmaiden Send a private message to entmaiden Mar 14 2009, 11:41pm
                            Wow Ufthak Send a private message to Ufthak Mar 14 2009, 11:50pm
                                After that, entmaiden Send a private message to entmaiden Mar 15 2009, 12:01am
                                    Don't be Ufthak Send a private message to Ufthak Mar 15 2009, 12:05am
    I respect you Dreamdeer Send a private message to Dreamdeer Mar 13 2009, 5:04pm
    {{orcbane}} Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Mar 13 2009, 5:17pm
    I'd just like to say silneldor Send a private message to silneldor Mar 13 2009, 6:15pm
    My two cents Peredhil lover Send a private message to Peredhil lover Mar 13 2009, 7:48pm
    Thank you, Orcbane... Dreamdeer Send a private message to Dreamdeer Mar 14 2009, 2:45am
    Swan song? dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Mar 14 2009, 2:11pm
    sounds a lot like my family, actually... weaver Send a private message to weaver Mar 14 2009, 3:20pm
    I'm not sure GaladrielTX Send a private message to GaladrielTX Mar 14 2009, 4:47pm
    I too have seen (and experienced) bulying here Kirly Send a private message to Kirly Mar 18 2009, 6:01pm
        I can add some more... simplyaven Send a private message to simplyaven Mar 19 2009, 3:11pm
            Can you provide an example Elizabeth Send a private message to Elizabeth Mar 20 2009, 8:41am
                It's usually just very cleverly implied.// Eowyn of Penns Woods Send a private message to Eowyn of Penns Woods Mar 20 2009, 5:00pm
                How about J.K.Rowling's homosexual character? simplyaven Send a private message to simplyaven Mar 20 2009, 7:21pm
                Buried in N.E. Brigand Send a private message to N.E. Brigand Mar 20 2009, 10:19pm
                    WNEBCFTPFY Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Mar 20 2009, 11:51pm
                        Yup. N.E. Brigand Send a private message to N.E. Brigand Mar 21 2009, 12:38am
                    I'm unimpressed. Elizabeth Send a private message to Elizabeth Mar 21 2009, 1:08am
                        my thoughts on hurt feelings Annael Send a private message to Annael Mar 21 2009, 3:33pm
                            I think there's a second component to that Magpie Send a private message to Magpie Mar 21 2009, 4:07pm
                            Not really so simplyaven Send a private message to simplyaven Mar 23 2009, 2:43pm
                                Ok, you disagreed Elizabeth Send a private message to Elizabeth Mar 23 2009, 9:45pm
                                    At the risk of piling on, I was thinking this same thing myself. Aunt Dora Baggins Send a private message to Aunt Dora Baggins Mar 24 2009, 12:11am
                                    that's my reaction too Annael Send a private message to Annael Mar 24 2009, 2:10pm
                                    It also depends on one's sensitivity simplyaven Send a private message to simplyaven Mar 24 2009, 2:43pm
                                        (looks simplyaven in the virtual eye) orcbane Mar 24 2009, 4:10pm
                                            Bwa ha ha! Hillarious! :) // simplyaven Send a private message to simplyaven Mar 24 2009, 6:17pm
                                        A better interpretation of what I meant Annael Send a private message to Annael Mar 24 2009, 8:06pm
                                            for example Annael Send a private message to Annael Mar 24 2009, 8:32pm
                                    Right. Aerin Send a private message to Aerin Mar 24 2009, 8:11pm
    Bullying? 2gp: SirDennisC Send a private message to SirDennisC Mar 22 2009, 4:30pm

 
 
 

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