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orcbane
Gondor
Mar 13 2009, 1:52pm
Views: 925
Shortcut
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Why I brought up the Bullying subject here
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Can't Post
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I have not been able to keep up with all the posts and thoughts expressed in my original thread, Networks of Exsisting Friends, as it has gone off in its various directions. But I kind of expected that, and if it has allowed people to express thoughts and feelings they have not felt able to before, I am quite glad. That honest discussion happens is one half of what I hoped for & if even if it is all that occurs, I will think it worth the trouble. And, also as I expected, some interesting things have been expressed to, or about me in the process. But rather then respond directly and very likely turn discussion into arguements I would rather attempt to clear the air, in a general way, while I have the chance.
Why did I post that thread ?
To bring up the issue of bullying on the forum
Why now ?
I witnessed someone being, what I though was bullied last week.
Did you bring it up just for that Just for that ?
No. I have seen, what I think is bullying, many times, and felt on the recieving side of it myself.
Did you bring it up with the Mods ?
No
Why not ?
I am not completely sure. I do know what usually is happening is not in direct violation of the rules, but involves tone, and feelings, and is very difficult to deal with. This does revolve to a large extent upon opinion. So I took it on myself and if it proved wrong, would only bring the results of that error upon myself.
Why did you bring it up here ?
Other methods of addressing it were not working ?
What else did you try ?
At first expressing that I did not like the method of their response, and then in frustration and anger just confronting fire with fire. I tried to hold the line of and not crossed over into unprovoked attacking. I really just want me and other like me, to be left alone, and only struck out when provoked. But I was responding in increasing fury and saw myself slowly loosing control. I felt I was beginning to cross the line and respond combatively when only lightly provoked or not at all. Seeing myself at the brink of banning, I left for several months. Coming back I, felt the original problem still exsisted and perhaps was even worse. What I witnessed seemed so senseless. And since the person was jumped because of their response to me (we were joking together) I responded in kind in their defense. All anger returned in a moment, but I knew that would accomplish nothing.
What about the other three issues you brought up ?
They were genuine thoughts on other ways to freshen things up. But they were minor and mainly on the list for another purpose. I knew the bullying issue would get hot. I felt that if there were easier things to discuss at first, the temperature would remain below critical long enough for the bullying issue to seep into people's minds and give then a chance to mull it over. What I wished to be known was: Is it happening ? Is it bad ? Just hearing it from me was not going to be enough. And if I raised the combative issue alone, the combative people would all start shouting and the quiet people would never be heard from.
Do you want to be a Mod ?
Sorry, but allow me and all the Mods here one 'lol' Now that is funny. :D
Am I a Champion-Bully ?
Reading that my first thought was: "a bitter jest" because the one who wrote it was the one I saw bullyied, the one I attempted to defend, and was the spark that brought this whole thing about. But to try to answer, I did not think so, going into this, but I do not really know. Perhaps that is the direction I am going or what I have become. I have made several allusions to this here and elsewhere, for it has been on my mind as for quite a while as well.
I really did not expect to survive the raising of this issue. To borrow a phrase, I have an evil name in the TORn land. Probably no one is more disliked. Some of this comes from my approach and manner, which I know some find in itself offensive. Some though, I believe comes from bringing up important issues practically no one else will, and are critical of other people. And you might find it ironic, but at least in my mind, involve trying to improve how people treat one another.
I feel I have accomplished the realistic part of my goal, and it is very satisfying to see many have felt emboldened to speak out. It has even been more satisfying to see positive responses from people taking it seriously and trying to come up with ways to improve it. It is of course less satisfying not getting any thanks for knocking down the spears with my self, long enough for you to speak.
And...this is me, and I can never resist a chance for one more song. Please don't be offended by the name of the group. I am actually one of the people they were referring to when they chose their name (true trivia). But I love some of their madness and you will probably not find a more pretty song by them
B-hole Surfers - Wooden Song http://www.youtube.com/...&feature=related
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Subject
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User
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Time
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Why I brought up the Bullying subject here
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orcbane
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Mar 13 2009, 1:52pm
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I hope this isn't a "goodbye"
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Finding Frodo
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Mar 13 2009, 3:44pm
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Yes, I agree with Finding Frodo
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Penthe
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Mar 28 2009, 8:44am
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Perception
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Altaira
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Mar 13 2009, 3:48pm
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Culture versus individuals
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Dreamdeer
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Mar 13 2009, 5:14pm
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List of Admins
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Arwen's daughter
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Mar 13 2009, 6:17pm
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Does it need to?
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Inferno
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Mar 13 2009, 7:10pm
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D'oh! I've been doing it the long way!
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Arwen's daughter
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Mar 13 2009, 8:05pm
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Alternatively, to get to someone's profile...
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Altaira
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Mar 14 2009, 1:42am
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Dang! My cunning tactic has been outed... /
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Ataahua
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Mar 15 2009, 7:15am
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Thank you!!! //
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Dreamdeer
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Mar 13 2009, 8:01pm
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Dreamdeer, you are a treasure.
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Aunt Dora Baggins
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Mar 13 2009, 7:21pm
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Wow! Really?
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Dreamdeer
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Mar 13 2009, 8:08pm
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In that case
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Aunt Dora Baggins
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Mar 13 2009, 9:00pm
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Admins and mods
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Peredhil lover
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Mar 13 2009, 7:23pm
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Good tips--thanks! //
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Dreamdeer
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Mar 13 2009, 8:09pm
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Add Kimi to that list
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Silverlode
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Mar 14 2009, 6:55am
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I *knew* I had missed someone! Thanks, Silverlode! //
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Peredhil lover
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Mar 14 2009, 7:54am
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I feel you're being a little over-dramatic
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Ufthak
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Mar 13 2009, 4:21pm
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*mods up* or
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Farawyn
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Mar 14 2009, 1:16am
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to trip down memory lane a bit
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Annael
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Mar 14 2009, 4:27am
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DON'T FORGET TORAK!!! =) //
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Eowyn of Penns Woods
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Mar 14 2009, 4:30am
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I AM YOUR ELDER WORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Draupne
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Mar 16 2009, 9:50am
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Oh yes, TLE
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Ufthak
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Mar 14 2009, 3:26pm
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Didn't TLE
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entmaiden
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Mar 14 2009, 9:32pm
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I don't think so
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Ufthak
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Mar 14 2009, 11:24pm
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I'm sure you're right
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entmaiden
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Mar 14 2009, 11:41pm
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Wow
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Ufthak
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Mar 14 2009, 11:50pm
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After that,
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entmaiden
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Mar 15 2009, 12:01am
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Don't be
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Ufthak
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Mar 15 2009, 12:05am
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I respect you
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Dreamdeer
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Mar 13 2009, 5:04pm
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{{orcbane}}
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Aunt Dora Baggins
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Mar 13 2009, 5:17pm
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I'd just like to say
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silneldor
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Mar 13 2009, 6:15pm
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My two cents
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Peredhil lover
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Mar 13 2009, 7:48pm
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Thank you, Orcbane...
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Dreamdeer
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Mar 14 2009, 2:45am
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Swan song?
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dernwyn
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Mar 14 2009, 2:11pm
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sounds a lot like my family, actually...
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weaver
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Mar 14 2009, 3:20pm
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I'm not sure
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GaladrielTX
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Mar 14 2009, 4:47pm
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I too have seen (and experienced) bulying here
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Kirly
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Mar 18 2009, 6:01pm
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I can add some more...
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simplyaven
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Mar 19 2009, 3:11pm
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Can you provide an example
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Elizabeth
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Mar 20 2009, 8:41am
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It's usually just very cleverly implied.//
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Eowyn of Penns Woods
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Mar 20 2009, 5:00pm
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How about J.K.Rowling's homosexual character?
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simplyaven
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Mar 20 2009, 7:21pm
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Buried in
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N.E. Brigand
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Mar 20 2009, 10:19pm
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WNEBCFTPFY
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Aunt Dora Baggins
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Mar 20 2009, 11:51pm
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Yup.
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N.E. Brigand
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Mar 21 2009, 12:38am
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I'm unimpressed.
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Elizabeth
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Mar 21 2009, 1:08am
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my thoughts on hurt feelings
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Annael
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Mar 21 2009, 3:33pm
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I think there's a second component to that
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Magpie
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Mar 21 2009, 4:07pm
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Not really so
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simplyaven
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Mar 23 2009, 2:43pm
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Ok, you disagreed
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Elizabeth
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Mar 23 2009, 9:45pm
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At the risk of piling on, I was thinking this same thing myself.
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Aunt Dora Baggins
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Mar 24 2009, 12:11am
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that's my reaction too
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Annael
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Mar 24 2009, 2:10pm
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It also depends on one's sensitivity
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simplyaven
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Mar 24 2009, 2:43pm
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(looks simplyaven in the virtual eye)
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orcbane
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Mar 24 2009, 4:10pm
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Bwa ha ha! Hillarious! :) //
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simplyaven
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Mar 24 2009, 6:17pm
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A better interpretation of what I meant
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Annael
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Mar 24 2009, 8:06pm
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for example
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Annael
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Mar 24 2009, 8:32pm
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Right.
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Aerin
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Mar 24 2009, 8:11pm
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Bullying? 2gp:
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SirDennisC
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Mar 22 2009, 4:30pm
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