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squire
Half-elven
Dec 15 2008, 3:29am
Post #1 of 6
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** Bored of the Rings, Chapter 1** -- Dildo nodded and casually flipped a small, shining object into Frito's lap.
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This is the last post for Chapter 1. Our reception has been mixed since we started in July, but spreading this discussion over (it now appears) several decades mutes both the pain and the joy of doing BotR in the approved Reading Room manner.
In the previous post, Goodgulf and Dildo were telling Frito that the evil Sorhed must be defeated before he takes over all of Lower Middle Earth. Picking up from there:
"But how can this be done?" said Frito.
"We must keep him from the one thing that can mean victory," said Goodgulf. "We must keep from him the Great Ring!"
"And what is this ring?" said Frito, eyeing the possible exits from the hole.
"Cease thy eyeing of possible exits and I will tell thee," Goodgulf reprimanded the frightened boggie. "Many ages ago, when boggies were yet wrestling with the chipmunks over hazel nuts, there were made Rings of Power in the Elven-Halls. Fashioned with a secret formula now known only to the makers of toothpastes, these fabulous Rings gave their wearers mickle powers. There were twenty in all: six for mastery of the lands, five for rule of the seas, three for dominion of the air, and two for the conquering of bad breath. With these Rings the people of past ages, both mortals and elves, lived in peace and grandeur."
"But that only makes sixteen," observed Frito. "What were the other four?"
"Recalled for factory defects," laughed Dildo. "They tended to short-circuit in the rain and fry one's finger off."
A. Isn’t “eyeing the possible exits from the hole” internally inconsistent? The hole is underground – how many exits could there be?
B. Why does Goodgulf suddenly use “thy” and “thee”?
C. “We must keep from him the One Ring”, “Rings of Power in the Elven-Halls”, “Mastery of the lands…rule of the seas…dominion of the air”, “people of past ages…lived in peace and grandeur”. How well do these phrases work as spoofs of Tolkien’s style? Should they be dead on to be most successful? Or would being slightly “off key” be part of the humor?
D. “Secret formula now known only to the makers of toothpastes”, “the conquering of bad breath”, “Recalled for factory defects”: Judging by these bathetic examples of comic deflation, are the toothpaste makers the only ones here using a “formula”? Would it be possible to calculate the actual number of core jokes and stock humorous setups the authors of the parody use?
E. “Mickle” occurs elsewhere in the book. Where? What does it mean? Why do Beard and Kenney love it so?
F. What is Dildo laughing at? Isn’t one rule of comedy to play it straight, and let the reader/audience laugh?
"Save the Great One," intoned Goodgulf, "for the Great Ring masters all the others, hence is now the most sought by Sorhed. Its powers and charms are shrouded in legend, and many works are said to be given to its wearer. It is said that, according to his powers, the wearer can perform impossible deeds, control all creatures to his bidding, vanquish invincible armies, converse with fish and fowl, bend steel in his bare hands, leap tall parapets at a single bound, win friends and influence people, fix parking tickets--"
"And get himself elected Queen of the May," finished Dildo. "Anything he pleases!"
G. Notice how the paragraph starts almost straight, echoing Tolkien perfectly. The segue into absurd parody is almost seamless – just where is the dividing line? Do most genre parody writers get this balance the way the Lampoon authors do here?
H. What are all the references in Goodgulf and Dildo’s list of the One Ring’s powers?
"This Great Ring is much desired by all, then," said Frito.
"And they desire a curse!" cried Goodgulf, waving his wand with passion. "For as surely as the Ring gives power, just as surely it becomes the master! The wearer slowly changes, and never to the good. He grows mistrustful and jealous of his power as his heart hardens. He loves overmuch his strengths and develops stomach ulcers. He becomes logy and irritable, prone to neuritis, neuralgia, nagging backache, and frequent colds. Soon no one invites him to parties anymore."
I. Again, isn’t “The wearer slowly changes, and never to the good” practically dead-on Tolkien? Is “He grows mistrustful and jealous of his power as his heart hardens” also an honest homage to the Prof? If so, when does the humor start? How do the “bad” powers of the Ring compare to the “good” powers?
J. Is it clear – within the parody – why the Ring must be destroyed? Wouldn’t Sorhed be immobilized by the achy, flu-like cold season symptoms described and so be no threat to Lower Middle Earth even if he did regain the Ring?
"A most horrible treasure, this Great Ring," said Frito.
"And a horrible burden for he who bears it," said Goodgulf. "For some unlucky one must carry it from Sorhed's grasp into danger and certain doom. Someone must take the ring to the Zazu Pits of Fordor, under the evil nose of the wrathful Sorhed, yet appear so unsuited to his task that he will not be soon found out."
Frito shivered in sympathy for such an unfortunate. "Then the bearer should be a complete and utter dunce," he laughed nervously.
Goodgulf glanced at Dildo, who nodded and casually flipped a small, shining object into Frito's lap. It was a ring.
"Congratulations," said Dildo somberly. "You've just won the booby prize."
K. Comment on: Zazu Pits; Fordor; evil nose of the wrathful Sorhed.
L. I think this is a perfect ending to the chapter. Do you? What makes it work so well?
squire online:
RR Discussions: The Valaquenta, A Shortcut to Mushrooms, and Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit
Lights! Action! Discuss on the Movie board!: 'A Journey in the Dark'. and 'Designing The Two Towers'.
Footeramas: The 3rd TORn Reading Room LotR Discussion; and "Tolkien would have LOVED it!"
squiretalk introduces the J.R.R. Tolkien Encyclopedia: A Reader's Diary
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sador
Half-elven
Dec 18 2008, 3:12pm
Post #2 of 6
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Someone has to answer these threads!
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A. Isn’t “eyeing the possible exits from the hole” internally inconsistent? The hole is underground – how many exits could there be?
It isn't a nasty hole like those uninitiated to The Hobbit think, it is actually a Burrow. Like this one .
B. Why does Goodgulf suddenly use “thy” and “thee”?
Frito is supposed to be taken aback by it; hence, it reinforces what we know already of the place boggies hold (actually, cling to) down the evolutionary ladder.
D. “the conquering of bad breath”
At least we have one reference to Ioreth!
E. “Mickle” occurs elsewhere in the book. Where?
Don't the Riders of Roi-tan can Minas Troney the Mickleburg?
F. What is Dildo laughing at? Isn’t one rule of comedy to play it straight, and let the reader/audience laugh?
Dildo is about to be relegated to the audience. A good reason for laughing!
I. Again, isn’t “The wearer slowly changes, and never to the good” practically dead-on Tolkien? Is “He grows mistrustful and jealous of his power as his heart hardens” also an honest homage to the Prof? If so, when does the humor start? How do the “bad” powers of the Ring compare to the “good” powers? It starts with the ulcers. But isn't that actually better than having grey teeth (as does Goodgulf, and the authors as well - if we can trust the preface)?
J. Is it clear – within the parody – why the Ring must be destroyed? Wouldn’t Sorhed be immobilized by the achy, flu-like cold season symptoms described and so be no threat to Lower Middle Earth even if he did regain the Ring?
Well, we do learn later that Sorhed is divorced.
But if he can control all people to his bidding, can't he get them to invite him to a party?
"I had so much to do here; and packing is such a bother" - Bilbo
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 19 2008, 6:06pm
Post #3 of 6
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just what I've been looking for - a "snow day", so I can stay home and work on answering these! 
A. Isn’t “eyeing the possible exits from the hole” internally inconsistent? The hole is underground – how many exits could there be?
Lots, if they've used Prairie Dog designers! Due to the nature of Boggies, I would not doubt they'd provide a few "quick getaways" in their homes.
B. Why does Goodgulf suddenly use “thy” and “thee”?
He's getting into his Ancient History-recounting mode. Has the same attention-getting effect as "Hwaet!"
C. How well do these phrases work as spoofs of Tolkien’s style? Should they be dead on to be most successful? Or would being slightly “off key” be part of the humor?
To be humorous, the wording needs to be just enough off to be recognizable, yet highlight the more obvious phrasing and word reversals. No small job, that!
D. “Secret formula now known only to the makers of toothpastes”, “the conquering of bad breath”, “Recalled for factory defects”: Judging by these bathetic examples of comic deflation, are the toothpaste makers the only ones here using a “formula”? Would it be possible to calculate the actual number of core jokes and stock humorous setups the authors of the parody use?
Sounds like '60s TV commercials to me! I remember the "secret formulas" which purported to get one's teeth whiter and brighter, and the insistence that everyone needed Listerine. And since BotR is a finite entity, it is therefore theoretically possible to enumerate any quantity within its boundaries.
E. “Mickle” occurs elsewhere in the book. Where? What does it mean? Why do Beard and Kenney love it so?
Urgh, I've done a hop-skip-and-jump through, and I know that other "mickle" is there somewhere, but it's eluding me!
But who wouldn't love"mickle"? It's one of those ancient words that is fun to say, and great for impressing others with one's eruditeness. Besides, it rhymes nicely with "nickel" and "pickle".
F. What is Dildo laughing at? Isn’t one rule of comedy to play it straight, and let the reader/audience laugh?
Considering Dildo's personality, he's more likely laughing because this has given him a great idea for a "gag gift".
G. Notice how the paragraph starts almost straight, echoing Tolkien perfectly. The segue into absurd parody is almost seamless – just where is the dividing line? Do most genre parody writers get this balance the way the Lampoon authors do here?
The phrase "converse with fish and fowl" begins the segue into contemporary ideals. I'm not familiar with a lot of parody, but I have seen some perfect parodies on this site alone!
H. What are all the references in Goodgulf and Dildo’s list of the One Ring’s powers?
Whoop! Sorry, getting sidetracked here, I googled "converse with fish and fowl" and found the online BotR, which I promptly downloaded into a secure spot on my computer! Now, where was I...
The idea of conversing with animals is as old as mythology; the authors may have been influenced by Radagast or Doctor Doolittle.
Look! In the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...yep, it was a bird. But Super-duper Man has arrived on the scene, to bend steel in his bare hands and leap tall parapets at a single bound. Wasn't this about the time that "How to Win Friends and Influence People" became a best-seller?
And the desire of every Bostonian is to know how to fix parking tickets.
The reference to the Queen of the May implies that any elected office is the wearer's for the taking.
I. Again, isn’t “The wearer slowly changes, and never to the good” practically dead-on Tolkien? Is “He grows mistrustful and jealous of his power as his heart hardens” also an honest homage to the Prof? If so, when does the humor start? How do the “bad” powers of the Ring compare to the “good” powers?
Again, the list begins with characteristics of the LotR Ring, and devolves at "stomach ulcers" into everyday physical complaints - in particular, the ones prominent in television ads. The "bad" list makes it clear that the wearer eventually cannot enjoy the items on the "good" list.
J. Is it clear – within the parody – why the Ring must be destroyed? Wouldn’t Sorhed be immobilized by the achy, flu-like cold season symptoms described and so be no threat to Lower Middle Earth even if he did regain the Ring?
Never entrust fantastic powers, mind control, and an invincible army to a miserable adversary who feels like you-know-what.
K. Comment on: Zazu Pits; Fordor; evil nose of the wrathful Sorhed.
The only movie I've seen with Zazu Pitts was It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Of interest: her epic, Greed, was originally about the same length as all three LotR extended-edition movies combined.
Fordor: That's my little Toyota sedan. Or a Fodor tour guide. Or both.
Evil "nose"! Don't you just love it? What can be worse than a flaming Eye, but a drivelly, sniffling, red nose just about to sneeze on you?
L. I think this is a perfect ending to the chapter. Do you? What makes it work so well?
This is what Frodo was really thinking at the Council of Elrond, and which Sam expressed in much simpler terms: he'd won the booby prize. But isn't this entire paragraph the jist of that Council: that the most unlikely person must undertake the task? Boromir's line about it being "folly" is exactly this: you'd have to be a complete and utter dunce to do it. And Bilbo, of course, flipped the Ring to Frodo earlier.
This paragraph is spot on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915
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sador
Half-elven
Dec 29 2008, 11:08am
Post #4 of 6
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L. I think this is a perfect ending to the chapter. Do you? What makes it work so well?
It reflects pretty well (while of course, standing it upon its head) Bilbo's volunteering for the job in Rivendell, after which it falls upon Frodo. Especially if we read it like FarFromHome did when she lead this discussion (although I stand behind my different reading of that scene).
"I had so much to do here; and packing is such a bother" - Bilbo
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squire
Half-elven
Dec 29 2008, 5:10pm
Post #5 of 6
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Jumping the gun in a series of skips and short hops
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I don't think this sequence, where Frito has the Ring bequeathed to him on grounds of total idiocy, is spoofing Frodo's choice at Rivendell. I think it picks up this part of Chapter II, "The Shadow of the Past". In particular, note my highlighting:
‘There is only one way: to find the Cracks of Doom in the depths of Orodruin, the Fire-mountain, and cast the Ring in there, if you really wish to destroy it, to put it beyond the grasp of the Enemy for ever.’
‘I do really wish to destroy it!’ cried Frodo. ‘Or, well, to have it destroyed. I am not made for perilous quests. I wish I had never seen the Ring! Why did it come to me? Why was I chosen?’
‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’
‘But I have so little of any of these things!’ (Fellowship of the Ring, Book I, Chapter 2)
Can't we just imagine Gandalf nodding here in judicious agreement! Booby prize, indeed! BotR here, as so often, is only making comically explicit what is logically implicit in the original.
But just at this point, Tolkien switches tracks away from Frodo's meager qualities as a ring bearer. He offers the Ring to Gandalf, and we get the wizard's famous renunciation speech. And we are, of course, meant to take Frodo's pathetic or fearful self-characterization merely as ignorance of his own latent strengths, which are well known to Gandalf.
And the Council of Elrond scene where Bilbo, and then Frodo, volunteer to take the Ring to Mordor, is done differently, but equally well, in a later chapter that we will get to in, roughly, 2016.
squire online:
RR Discussions: The Valaquenta, A Shortcut to Mushrooms, and Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit
Lights! Action! Discuss on the Movie board!: 'A Journey in the Dark'. and 'Designing The Two Towers'.
Footeramas: The 3rd TORn Reading Room LotR Discussion; and "Tolkien would have LOVED it!"
squiretalk introduces the J.R.R. Tolkien Encyclopedia: A Reader's Diary
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sador
Half-elven
Dec 29 2008, 6:53pm
Post #6 of 6
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"Indeed," said sador, glaring at squire...
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2016 you say?
Actually, I don't like the Caucus sequence that much - save from Orlon's final answer to Frito's groan.
To add a convoluted suggestion - considering the date of the departure from Rivendell (as discussed by a.s. in a different thread) - do you think "it was a happy minute for us all when you were born" refers to that?
I suspect not. But it would be nice if it did.
"I had so much to do here; and packing is such a bother" - Bilbo
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