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Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 4

Brethil
Half-elven


Dec 6 2013, 2:58am


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Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 4 [In reply to] Can't Post

EXCLUSIVE: The Times Interviews Smaug the Stupendous on the upcoming film, "The Desolation of Smaug."

We were granted satellite access to the star of the upcoming major motion picture, directed by Sir Peter Jackson, "The Desolation of Smaug." The tale was initially reported in the form of a book but Professor JRR Tolkien. Smaug and his agent, Mr. Ecks, spoke with us via sattelite last week.

TIMES: "Hello, it's very gracious of you to speak with us. You are looking wonderful these days. And hello Mr. Ecks."

SMAUG: "Yes, I know."
MR. ECKS "Hello, everyone."

TIMES: "Can you give us some insights into working with Sir Peter, Smaug?"

SMAUG: "The magnificent."

TIMES: "Sir Peter the magnificent? That's high praise indeed!"

SMAUG: "No, ME. You say, 'Smaug the Magnificent'. That's how this works."
MR. ECKS: (sotto voce) "Its for the best. Trust me."

TIMES: "Apologies...was it difficult working with Men and Dwarves, Smaug the Magnificent?"

SMAUG: "In a way, yes. Imagine working with, let me say, dozens of succulent, walking, talking pork pies and you get how I felt."

TIMES: "Have you studied acting, Smaug the Magnificent?"

SMAUG: "No, I am a Method actor. That is why I play myself."

TIMES: "Can you give us any insights into working with Sir Peter, Smaug the Magnificent?"

SMAUG: "Well, he is a taskmaster, but he appreciates the material and respects my tale. He realizes that I am the center of the tale, and filmed it thus, as per our contract. So because of that, and ONLY because of that, I accepted his direction."

TIMES: "Have you read "The Hobbit," Smaug the Magnificent?"

SMAUG: "No, I do not read. The whole fire-and-paper thing is a constant problem for me. I'm seriously debating getting an e-reader."
MR. ECKS: (hurriedly) "Nope, Smaug the Magnificent doesn't need to read. That's my job. NO need to read The Hobbit. Or contracts. Or scripts. Nope. All good."

TIMES: "So how do you feel about the ending, Smaug the Magnificent? Have you come to terms with it? Was it emotionally difficult for you to film?"

SMAUG: (puzzled) "Difficult to film? Why would it be? After all ... I win."
MR. ECKS: "Yup, that's fine, it was no problem, good ending..."

TIMES: "You...win? I'm confused. Hmmmm, based on the book..."

MR. ECKS: (drawing hand across throat) "Shhhh."

SMAUG: "Wait. What does she mean, 'based on the book'? I WIN! Right? THAT is what I signed on for." (smoke puffs from nostrils) "You KNOW how I feel about LOSING! I had better WIN!"
MR. ECKS: (waving franically) "INTERVIEW OVER! THANK YOU!" (picture blacks out)
SMAUG: "GET BACK HERE ECKS!" (roar of fire heard)

Our link terminated at that point. We hope to contact Smaug the Magnificent again and further discuss his film work with Sir Peter, his future career aspirations, his reaction to the media frenzy surrounding The Desolation of Smaug, and to confirm the continued existence of Mr. Ecks.




Smile This Month's NERDSNORT Joy: Smile

There once was a knight named Sir Peter,
Who everyone said, "What a leader!"
He filmed hobbits, a wizard,
Some dwarves, a big lizard.
And asked us to come to the theater!

- Dame Ioreth, an original Limerick




The second TORn Amateur Symposium is running right now, in the Reading Room. Come have a look and maybe stay to chat!




Subject User Time
Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Front Page Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:42am
    Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 2 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:47am
        Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 3 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:53am
            Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 4 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:58am
                Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 5 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 3:06am
                    Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 6 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 3:18am
                        Any song that tempts me to sing is an automatic fave The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 6 2013, 11:49am
                            Agreed...I found it very touching too Grey Elf! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 9:59pm
                                Thank you both, Meneldor Send a private message to Meneldor Dec 7 2013, 12:00am
                                    Then kudos to Ethel, too! The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 7 2013, 12:09am
                                        Thanks! Meneldor did the real work. I just found an old Sea song Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:14am
                                    Excellent collaboration! Kim Send a private message to Kim Dec 7 2013, 1:36am
                            My goodness, what an amazing poem! Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:16am
                                Agreed - it so much fun! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 4:56am
                                    Now, when is Smaug coming to help Gramma Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:59am
                                What a lovely compliment, Ethel! Thank you so much!!! // The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 8 2013, 3:02am
                        Wonderful! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:40pm
                            Thank you, gramma!! The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 8 2013, 3:00am
                        Wonderful! dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Dec 9 2013, 4:48am
                    Great crossword! When do we get the answers?! :D I'm actually Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:58am
                        In shall publish them in a few days... Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:10am
                            Awwwww.... Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Dec 7 2013, 5:36am
                                Yes, please Rem, on both! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:58am
                    *laughs* Toasted Sheep Pass! :D OMG! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:37pm
                    I really don't know what it is ... DanielLB Send a private message to DanielLB Dec 7 2013, 9:59pm
                        Elven ennui... Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 10:54pm
                    Answers to the Crossword.....Maybe....... Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Dec 10 2013, 3:33am
                        Heh! For me, not too bad. Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 10 2013, 3:46am
                        Thanks Rem! This was fun Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 10 2013, 9:55pm
                Pork Popsicle! I love it! :D grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:34pm
            Bwahahahahhaa!!!! *wild applause* grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:24pm
                I still think your secret is secret Gramma... Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:42pm
                Your lifetime or his? Meneldor Send a private message to Meneldor Dec 7 2013, 6:20pm
                    Gives the M. One reason to extend Gramma's life indefinitely Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 6:51pm
        Ah! Now I must re-do the map! The voters have spoken. So now we have: Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:55am
        All hail the Party Winners! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:13pm
    Having only managed to visit this lovely town, Dame Ioreth Send a private message to Dame Ioreth Dec 7 2013, 4:58pm
        Yes, maybe we need to run a Real Estate section next Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:44pm
        More than just rumors Kim Send a private message to Kim Dec 7 2013, 10:56pm
            A happy and welcome sight!!!!! // Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 11:42pm

 
 
 

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