Our Sponsor Sideshow Collectibles Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien
Do you enjoy the 100% volunteer, not for profit services of TheOneRing.net?
Consider a donation!

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main:
Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 3

Brethil
Half-elven


Dec 6 2013, 2:53am


Views: 240
Shortcut
Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 3 [In reply to] Can't Post

Will Local Woman's Garage Roof Bring the Dragon?

Among other construction projects going on around Tolkienia, one residents efforts both stand out artistically yet present us with a Draconian-sized puzzle to solve.
Grammaboodawg recently created this masterpiece of a garage roof: a representation of beloved Bag End, complete with a doorknob.



The craft and design are flawless, and when this reporter inquired of Grammaboodawg how the blank space on the roof was to be filled, she replied, "with a very realistic Smaug. He has agreed to model for me."

Hold the presses. This intriguing comment raises the question of how this modelling is to be achieved. The Wyrm himself is not known for his amiable nature nor for his patience. We found a news story in the Archives which tells the story of a surveyor who ran into Smaug the Terrible while mapping out distant farm and mountain boundaries near the Toasted Sheep Pass:

"The ground shook, and the next thing I knew a great red-golden eye was staring at me," gasped the surveyor, as wisps of smoke twirled off of his singed jacket. "He asked if I cared to stay 'for a bit of a smoke'...I said no and ran! A lick of flame hit me in the back and I heard him laughing! I hear that laugh in my sleep!" Wiping his forehead with shaking hands he added, "Can I get a drink?" [News Archives: 10/1/99]

So the question for Tolkienia is: will this modelling trake place at Grammaboodawg's own in-town residence? Somewhere else? Is there a danger to life and property from the Wyrm?

Smaug has declined an interview requested by the Times in person, replying, "Thank you, I'm not hungry." But a written response has been sent to the Times office, and we note Smaug the Calamitous has recently acquired a fax machine, presumably one with very large buttons. It reads as follows:

"The project to glorify my image will not present any danger to the residents of Tolkienia. I have every desire to see the project come to fruition and have myself represented in the medium of shingle. And the lady herself, Grammaboodawg, has quite won me over."

When asked directly how she managed to win over the Dragon , the lovely lady merely twinkled at this reporter, saying, "That's for me to know." So the question remains: how did Grammaboodawg 'win over' this savage beast? Food? Magic? Or, was it her sheer personal charm?

Readers can expect a follow-up to this story come Spring of 2014, when the project is expected to proceed.

(Photo courtesy of Grammaboodawg, with our thanks.)




Your TOLKIENIA Weather, by DanielLB:

This month will begin with almost a week of mild and dull northeasterly winds, but for the remainder of the month westerlies and cold temperatures will dominate. The TWS (Tolkienia Weather Service) predict that this week will see seven consecutive completely sunless days, the longest such run here since the first stones were laid in Tolkienia. Vitamin D pills are now for sale out at the local supermarket, Tolko's, but residents of Tolkienia are asked not to bulk buy. Coincidentally, sun cream is going selling for 2 for 1 in Tolko's.

After this rather miserable week, a northeasterly airflow will bring cool but bright weather to central, eastern and southern parts. We expect minimum night time temperatures of -7.0oC. As we now enter winter, it becomes increasingly likely that West and South Baranduin will freeze over. All boat traffic is to be stopped, and local farmers are hunting wild wolves that may dare to cross the River. A very disturbed west-to-southwesterly airflow will follow, during this period all districts will experience unsettled weather with frequent rain, heavy at times, strong winds, and only brief sunny intervals. The weather will be particularly bad in northern and western districts, with as much as 70 mm of rain falling at Bree Hill in 48 h, while the wind will gust to 70 kn at Rivendell Vale. The mud in Bree is expected to be very deep, so carts are forewarned: book a room at the Pony and expect to be mired.

The last ten days of December will be generally mild, with above average temperatures. From the 13th to the 17th high pressure will lie lay close to southern Tolkienia with a mild southwesterly flow elsewhere, and although the anticyclone will retreat to mid-Atlantic, temperatures will continue to be above average. Rain may return by the end of the month, but amounts of rain are expected to be generally small.

Temperatures are expected to approach 15oC on several afternoons, peaking at 16oC at Faramir House. The minimum overnight temperatures will be in the region of 6oC. Firewood should be kept under guard as goblins are likely to snatch firewood stores if they have easy access.

Outlook for next month: A strong northerly flow will bring frequent snow showers to northern and eastern parts of Tolkienia. Temperature will not climb higher than ~1.0 C . Snow and freezing rain will cause difficulties for traffic throughout Tolkienia. We expect no sightings of Smaug out of doors given these weather conditions.

Shipping forecast:

Wind: Southeast 7 to sever gale 9 veering west or northwest 4 or 5

Sea State: Rough or very rough.

Weather: Showers

Visibility: Moderate or good.

We recommend to avoid sailing if at all possible. Stay home in front of the fire. And enjoy the holidays!








The second TORn Amateur Symposium is running right now, in the Reading Room. Come have a look and maybe stay to chat!




Subject User Time
Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Front Page Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:42am
    Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 2 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:47am
        Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 3 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:53am
            Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 4 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 2:58am
                Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 5 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 3:06am
                    Tolkienia Times: December, "The Desolation of Smaug" Edition. Page 6 Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 3:18am
                        Any song that tempts me to sing is an automatic fave The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 6 2013, 11:49am
                            Agreed...I found it very touching too Grey Elf! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 6 2013, 9:59pm
                                Thank you both, Meneldor Send a private message to Meneldor Dec 7 2013, 12:00am
                                    Then kudos to Ethel, too! The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 7 2013, 12:09am
                                        Thanks! Meneldor did the real work. I just found an old Sea song Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:14am
                                    Excellent collaboration! Kim Send a private message to Kim Dec 7 2013, 1:36am
                            My goodness, what an amazing poem! Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:16am
                                Agreed - it so much fun! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 4:56am
                                    Now, when is Smaug coming to help Gramma Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:59am
                                What a lovely compliment, Ethel! Thank you so much!!! // The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 8 2013, 3:02am
                        Wonderful! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:40pm
                            Thank you, gramma!! The Grey Elf Send a private message to The Grey Elf Dec 8 2013, 3:00am
                        Wonderful! dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Dec 9 2013, 4:48am
                    Great crossword! When do we get the answers?! :D I'm actually Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:58am
                        In shall publish them in a few days... Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:10am
                            Awwwww.... Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Dec 7 2013, 5:36am
                                Yes, please Rem, on both! Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:58am
                    *laughs* Toasted Sheep Pass! :D OMG! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:37pm
                    I really don't know what it is ... DanielLB Send a private message to DanielLB Dec 7 2013, 9:59pm
                        Elven ennui... Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 10:54pm
                    Answers to the Crossword.....Maybe....... Rembrethil Send a private message to Rembrethil Dec 10 2013, 3:33am
                        Heh! For me, not too bad. Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 10 2013, 3:46am
                        Thanks Rem! This was fun Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 10 2013, 9:55pm
                Pork Popsicle! I love it! :D grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:34pm
            Bwahahahahhaa!!!! *wild applause* grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:24pm
                I still think your secret is secret Gramma... Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:42pm
                Your lifetime or his? Meneldor Send a private message to Meneldor Dec 7 2013, 6:20pm
                    Gives the M. One reason to extend Gramma's life indefinitely Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 6:51pm
        Ah! Now I must re-do the map! The voters have spoken. So now we have: Ethel Duath Send a private message to Ethel Duath Dec 7 2013, 4:55am
        All hail the Party Winners! grammaboodawg Send a private message to grammaboodawg Dec 7 2013, 2:13pm
    Having only managed to visit this lovely town, Dame Ioreth Send a private message to Dame Ioreth Dec 7 2013, 4:58pm
        Yes, maybe we need to run a Real Estate section next Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 5:44pm
        More than just rumors Kim Send a private message to Kim Dec 7 2013, 10:56pm
            A happy and welcome sight!!!!! // Brethil Send a private message to Brethil Dec 7 2013, 11:42pm

 
 
 

Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.