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Silverlode
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Jul 1 2013, 5:59am
Views: 7193
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Well, what I'm hearing lately (general response)
[In reply to]
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Can't Post
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is a remarkably equal number of complaints from both sides. The people who didn't like the movie feel they're being shouted down by those who did. Those who liked the movie feel that those who didn't are determined not to let anyone else enjoy it either. Both sides complain that they can't say how they feel without being told how wrong they are. Everyone thinks the Hobbit board is toxic because of everyone else, and nobody seems to think that they themselves are contributing to this atmosphere. We have lots of pots and kettles milling around right now. What we need is a little more allowance on both sides for people to hold differing opinions. You do not have to balance out anyone else or their opinions. Agree to disagree and move on. If you try to make things "even", all that happens is that both sides jump on each other at every opportunity, until it becomes a feud of retaliation. People who didn't like the movie can never say so without someone who did telling them why they are wrong, and people who liked the movie never get to just enjoy it without having all of its "flaws" pointed out to them. If you don't think someone should get to just state the opposite opinion and have it stand without being "corrected" or "balanced", then you are part of the problem because you are making them feel jumped on, persecuted, etc, and they're likely to turn around and do the same to you. How do you feel when someone cannot let your opinion stand without "correction"? If you see something that you disagree with and just have to respond, ask yourself why. Are you wanting a conversation exploring/explaining your differences, or are you trying to "fix" the the other person? Conversation is fine, fixing is not. Nobody likes being "fixed" (especially on a matter of opinion about a work of fiction) and those who try to fix others, even with the best of motives, invariably come across as arrogant and aggressive. Try treating people as individuals, which they are, instead of part of some monolithic "side". There are no fan unions here, just individuals sitting behind different computer screens scattered all over the world. Each one agrees with some people on some points and disagrees with some people on some points. It's a spectrum of opinions without a hard dividing line, and nobody should be held "responsible" for an opinion expressed by someone else. I've seen a lot of that lately, people assigning "sides" and feeling that talking to one person on that side is the equivalent of talking to all of them. It's not, especially on these boards where a large number of people read threaded. Each post is a direct response to a single person, not a group response to the whole thread. If you mean to respond generally, you'd better make that clear, because otherwise the person your post is listed as replying to is going to take everything you said as directed at them personally. If you respond to someone with a different opinion, expect disagreement. Debate is fine, as long as it's civil and respectful. Show respect for the person even if you don't respect their opinion. A lot of the bad feeling lately is the result of people feeling that they or someone they like (including the filmmakers) is being personally disrespected, as opposed to simply disagreeing with a thing they've done or said. The mods are not interested in taking sides (we have many differing views on the movie among ourselves) but we are available to everyone and absolutely interested in making these boards a place where everyone can converse without hostility. Repeat after me: Live and let live. It's only a movie.
Silverlode "Dark is the water of Kheled-zâram, and cold are the springs of Kibil-nâla, and fair were the many-pillared halls of Khazad-dűm in Elder Days before the fall of mighty kings beneath the stone."
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Subject
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User
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Time
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The courtesy of our hall is somewhat lessened of late. (Admin Announcement, ALL PLEASE READ)
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Silverlode
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Aug 28 2012, 7:08pm
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Thank you!
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Milknut
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Aug 29 2012, 3:32am
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That goes for me, too. :-) //
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geordie
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Aug 29 2012, 12:32pm
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And me :-) //
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dormouse
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Aug 29 2012, 12:43pm
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Same as Milknut! //
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macfalk
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Aug 29 2012, 4:09pm
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Here Here
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Boulderfist
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Aug 29 2012, 3:47am
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Hear hear!
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Shelob'sAppetite
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Aug 29 2012, 4:03am
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...?
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cameragod
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Aug 29 2012, 7:28am
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pfft it sounded right in my head :P
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Boulderfist
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Aug 29 2012, 7:36am
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Narcissism and navel gazing be darned
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SirDennisC
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Aug 29 2012, 3:28pm
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You're one of the good guys
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Voronwë_the_Faithful
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Aug 29 2012, 3:38pm
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Agreed
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Shelob'sAppetite
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Aug 29 2012, 4:38pm
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I don't think expressing opinions is the problem.
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RosieLass
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Aug 29 2012, 4:46pm
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How very kind of both of you
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SirDennisC
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Aug 29 2012, 4:55pm
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since this is probably partialy aimed at me
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Sinister71
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Aug 29 2012, 4:34pm
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The intent
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entmaiden
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Aug 29 2012, 4:50pm
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Passion brings out so many things
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elevorn
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Aug 29 2012, 5:32pm
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Absolutely!
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entmaiden
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Aug 29 2012, 5:43pm
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Hi sinister
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Shelob'sAppetite
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Aug 29 2012, 5:05pm
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I wouldn't be without them -
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geordie
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Aug 29 2012, 6:06pm
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Thanks for the guidelines.
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Escapist
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Aug 29 2012, 4:36pm
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I confess
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Kangi Ska
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Aug 29 2012, 5:29pm
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That must have been hard... glad you finally came clean.
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SirDennisC
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Aug 29 2012, 5:38pm
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Nice to see you around these parts Kangi.
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Maiarmike
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Aug 29 2012, 10:11pm
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I have been bighting my tongue.
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Kangi Ska
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Aug 30 2012, 1:30am
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I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to mods/admins, and users (either regular or not) for breaking any of these rules
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DanielLB
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Aug 29 2012, 6:43pm
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Are you still passing out the "ignore cards"?
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Alassëa Eruvande
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Aug 29 2012, 7:27pm
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Oh, most definitely!
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DanielLB
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Aug 29 2012, 7:55pm
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So its good for
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imin
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Aug 29 2012, 7:57pm
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I'll make it fairer, you can choose which 5 posts to ignore! ;-P /
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DanielLB
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Aug 29 2012, 8:01pm
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Better gimme a handful, then.
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Alassëa Eruvande
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Aug 29 2012, 11:22pm
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*Guiltily raises hand* Apologies...
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Aragorn the Elfstone
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Aug 29 2012, 6:57pm
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I want to add that i am sorry for any part i have played in this and meant no offense to anyone //
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imin
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Aug 29 2012, 7:38pm
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I apologize as well...
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Captain Salt
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Aug 30 2012, 12:53am
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Apologies
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Ziggy Stardust
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Aug 30 2012, 2:05am
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Reading over the whole list
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Shelob'sAppetite
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Aug 30 2012, 3:37am
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My name is geordie
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geordie
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Aug 30 2012, 12:11pm
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Geordie
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macfalk
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Aug 30 2012, 5:09pm
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Not to worry -
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geordie
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Aug 31 2012, 7:39pm
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That is good to hear
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macfalk
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Sep 1 2012, 11:52am
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Well worded, as usual, Silverlode.
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Patty
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Aug 31 2012, 6:55pm
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Thank you for posting this!
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Radagast-Aiwendil
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Aug 31 2012, 8:21pm
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mods up
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sevilodorf
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Aug 31 2012, 11:32pm
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O.O hadn't really realised about this souring forum mood!... thanks, I'll be on best behaviour ;¬) //
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Xanaseb
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Sep 1 2012, 11:54am
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Ha Ha
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Ugly Troll
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Sep 3 2012, 5:16pm
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Hi!
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sador
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Sep 3 2012, 7:23pm
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The elf-maiden appreciates your kind words and returns your greetings\
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Ugly Troll
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Sep 7 2012, 12:43am
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Congratulations on that well-crafted reminder -
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Greenwood Hobbit
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Sep 3 2012, 8:13pm
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Thank you, Silverlode
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Loresilme
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Sep 4 2012, 3:06pm
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I love TORn...
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weaver
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Sep 5 2012, 3:19am
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And this is why...
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diedye
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Sep 6 2012, 3:41pm
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What I've noticed -
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SirDennisC
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Sep 24 2012, 1:40am
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Agreed
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Shelob'sAppetite
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Sep 24 2012, 3:00am
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Don't be rude
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hutch
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Jan 4 2013, 1:41am
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Agreement!
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hobbit N.Z
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Oct 12 2012, 6:13am
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Thanks, and welcome!
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Silverlode
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Oct 13 2012, 3:52am
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I'm new, but so far I'm enjoying the pleasant atmosphere here
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Refurin
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Oct 18 2012, 12:41am
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Well stated....
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Glaurung63
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Nov 12 2012, 9:03pm
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The most refreshing post I've seen in a long time
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sara
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Dec 16 2012, 1:26pm
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Sara!
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dernwyn
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Dec 16 2012, 1:45pm
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Hi Dernwyn
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sara
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Dec 17 2012, 7:04pm
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bleah
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TheRealBeren
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Dec 17 2012, 7:52pm
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Oh dear....I broke several...Will strive not to do that again
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ByThorinsBeard
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Mar 23 2013, 3:13pm
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Bomby Loves YouALL too Much!
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Bombadil
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Apr 12 2013, 12:29am
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Is anyone else a bit tired of the uncivil complaining about people complaining?
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Captain Salt
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Jun 17 2013, 9:17pm
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Nature of complaints
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Na Vedui
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Jun 17 2013, 10:23pm
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Understandable, and I hope PJ and Co. are not offended by what they read on here...
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Captain Salt
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Jun 17 2013, 10:41pm
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Well yes...
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Na Vedui
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Jun 17 2013, 10:52pm
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Thing is
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Lusitano
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Jun 17 2013, 10:24pm
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There's also a number of regulars
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entmaiden
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Jun 20 2013, 9:16pm
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For what it may be worth -
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geordie
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Jun 25 2013, 8:57pm
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But we still love you in the Reading Room :-)
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Elizabeth
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Jun 25 2013, 10:48pm
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Very kind of you to say so -
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geordie
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Jun 26 2013, 12:11pm
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Well those posters
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Lusitano
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Jun 30 2013, 4:46pm
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well this forum is certainly the politest
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Elenorflower
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Jun 30 2013, 5:37pm
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psst....
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dormouse
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Jun 30 2013, 7:13pm
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Well, what I'm hearing lately (general response)
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Silverlode
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Jul 1 2013, 5:59am
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Ditto
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Altaira
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Jul 1 2013, 11:54am
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*sigh* So many opportunities
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Eowyn of Penns Woods
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Jul 1 2013, 5:53pm
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I love that.
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Silverlode
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Jul 1 2013, 7:24pm
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BTW, wanted to say:
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Captain Salt
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Jun 17 2013, 10:35pm
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What I take issue with...
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Rostron2
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Jul 1 2013, 5:01pm
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Just reread this to refresh memory
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The Grey Elf
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Jun 17 2013, 11:06pm
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I wanted to repeat myself here.
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Arannir
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Oct 29 2013, 7:46pm
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I've noticed...
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Elskidor
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Nov 6 2013, 1:47pm
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I dont understand what you mean by
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Smeagol Bagginsess
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Nov 7 2013, 5:57am
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Don't mind me
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Elskidor
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Nov 7 2013, 9:35am
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Courtesy in all things
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Clarella
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Dec 6 2013, 10:11pm
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Welcome, Clarella!
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Lissuin
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Dec 6 2013, 10:52pm
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Is it possible
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wonderinglinguist
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Feb 14 2014, 12:31am
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Thanks - sorry for the belated reply
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entmaiden
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Feb 18 2014, 5:50pm
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