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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea
Feb 11 2013, 6:00am
Views: 524
Shortcut
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Colonel Mustard with the wrench, in the study
[In reply to]
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Can't Post
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First Kili leaped, deftly snatching Orcrist in mid-jump. In an impressive alley-oop aerial twist, he beheaded Azog with it as he passed. "FOR THROR!!!!" the young stubble-chinned warrior bellowed, imitating his uncle Thorin's ferocity.
Bofur then snagged the bow as it hurtled at him. He barely caught the quiver. as well, by its strap. Most of the shafts tumbled and spilled. "What is WRONG with you brother?" he cried as Sauron, the Necromancer unmasked, bore down upon him. Bofur looked upon the flaming-eyed menace and knew he would have no time to nock, draw, and aim, let alone loose. Sauron seized him and lifted him off his feet, and drew back his mace.
"A fine sport this is," Bofur quipped, at which Sauron's mace hesitated just slightly. "...if you have the balls for it.". With that, he slapped Sauron across the "face" with the bow. It shattered upon impact. Sauron did not flinch. But in the same motion, Bofur grabbed the last arrow from the quiver and buried it fletchings-deep into the dark slitted pupil.
Just as Sauron began his death-rattle, Dwalin was ladling Smaug into submission. Why search for a weak spot when one could rely on bludgeoning? To be followed by a choke hold, leading to a neck-break. So much neck, so little time to make a break.
Fili caught Bofur's mattock as he noticed his uncle, his captain, his King, locked in furious combat with the Great Goblin...and Bolg was sneaking up on Thorin for the sneak attack.
"Look out Uncle!" he cried, but T horin was too busy ducking a jab of the Great Goblin's club. Bolg was nearly upon him. But they were all too far away. Frantically Fili hurled the mattock. It rotated vertically once, twice....THUD! Bolg was knocked off his feet. Where he fell, black fluid pooled about his unmoving head.
Even as that occurred, Thorin heard the clatter of axes tossed by Bifur onto the ground to his right, a few feet too far. Confound and bebother that Bifur! he thought, surprising himself in adopting one of Bilbo's catchphrases. He ducked under a swing of the obese foe's club and dove low, rolling across his right shoulder and opposite hip as he scooping them up in the same movement.
Great Goblin did not appear to be impressed. "What are you going to do now, son of Thrain?" he taunted.
But then the corpulent one looked down and realized that the two axes had cleaved him through his wide, gelatinous middle. "That'll do it," he muttered before his top half toppled.
A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.
http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;
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Subject
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User
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Time
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A Middle-earth Logic Puzzle
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Roheryn
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Feb 11 2013, 2:09am
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Rewrite indeed!
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dernwyn
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Feb 11 2013, 2:43am
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Answers
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CuriousG
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Feb 11 2013, 2:54am
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That would be a sight to behold!
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Oiotári
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Feb 11 2013, 4:19am
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Fun!
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Silverlode
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Feb 11 2013, 4:55am
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Colonel Mustard with the wrench, in the study
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
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Feb 11 2013, 6:00am
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LOL!
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dernwyn
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Feb 11 2013, 1:56pm
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I think there may already have been a movie with that exact scene....
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
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Feb 12 2013, 3:43am
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I thought that the butler did it...
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NZ Strider
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Feb 11 2013, 9:56am
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*applause* //
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Silverlode
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Feb 11 2013, 10:58am
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more applause//
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CuriousG
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Feb 11 2013, 5:06pm
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Excellent !! //
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Loresilme
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Feb 15 2013, 2:51pm
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I think I borked me brain..
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Angharad73
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Feb 11 2013, 11:37am
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Right.
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sador
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Feb 11 2013, 12:57pm
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Nice trick, slaying Sauron without the One Ring
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NottaSackville
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Feb 11 2013, 2:03pm
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Not too hard, eh?
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The Prancing Pony
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Feb 11 2013, 8:16pm
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Not too hard but thank you for the fun.
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The White Wizard
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Feb 12 2013, 12:05pm
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Answers from Beamer, my Hobbit and me
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Arandiel
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Feb 12 2013, 4:49pm
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Now that's a sports network I'll subscribe to!
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
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Feb 13 2013, 3:35am
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And just imagine the halftime commercials...//
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Arandiel
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Feb 13 2013, 5:08pm
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*eyes bug out* Gandalf's Wonky Magic Blast?
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grammaboodawg
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Feb 14 2013, 4:14am
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ANSWERS ETC.
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Roheryn
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Feb 14 2013, 11:45pm
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That was fun! :D Thanks Ro! //
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grammaboodawg
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Feb 15 2013, 10:19am
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